hmm. It seems like you throw many cliches into this story. "Durzkaban, Death Nibblers, etc.
I hope this doesn't turn into a Harry/Ginny story. They have no chemistry. Harry has barely said 20 words to her throughout the Harry Potter series. Plus, she only sees him as The-Boy-Who-Lived, something Harry doesn't like at all. The unexplained H/G romance ruined Half Blood Prince for me. I wouldn't mind a Harry/Luna pairing, though.
I'm not sure I like the Rob/Star pairing. I think Rob/Rae would be a better pairing for this particualr story. Robin already has to explain everything muggle to her, if they get together everything magical has to be explained to her to.
I say Rob/Rae would be better pairing for 2 reasons:
1) She already has magical knowledge and has magical talent.
2)She doesn't spout off stupid crap like "What a joyous occaison!" and therefore would be easier to write.
I don't think Harry is showing enough emotion so far either. You gloss over Sirius' death and Harry's anger at Dumbledore. I didn't feel for Harry, he just seems so flat.
Also, is this going to be a manipulative!Dumbledore story? It doesn't really matter to me,really. I just don't want Harry to obey Dumbledore without question and see him as a god after all that was done in Order of the Phoenix.
I'm not sure I like the sudden friendship between the DOM group. I thought there would be some tenseness after what happened. They just seem out of character. Didn't Hermione usually make snide remarks at Luna? Since when is Ron tolerant of Luna? Since when is Neville so outgoing? I don't see any depth to the characters right yet. I understand this is just the first chapter so I its okay for now, I guess.
On to the positives. Robin's character was well written. He really would try to protect everyones feelings. Also, I loved how you talked about the Bat-clan relationship. I hope to see more of that in the future.
So in my opinion, you got to clunked up in the magical side of the story. The teen titans part was perfect, if a little short. I would love lengthier segments of Robin.
Also, what is the role of Cyborg and Beastboy in this story? Are they just filler to take up space?
All in all, this is a good start to what I hope will be a great story. I hope you don't take offence to the nitpicks I pointed out. I read alot so I guess my standards are pretty high.
I look forward to the next update!
PS: Wow, this is my longest review ever.
Author's response
I read a lot to, so my standards formyself are high too. This and my other story are my first postings where others can read what I've written.
Quick defense to your comment about the friendship between the DOM group. The life/death struggle brings out the bonds of friendship in comrades in arms. You will hear soldiers talking about wanting to fight and win, just to get their 'buddies' home. Also, JKR has made a precedence case for me. 1st year with the mountain troll. Ron and Hermione went from really disliking each other to being friends. True, Harry is often a buffer between their spats, but they're still friends. With Nev/Luna, there's actually less problems. There was no initial dislike. I agree Her. probably doesn't think Luna is all there, but when they're not talking about Snorcacks and whatnot, they're ok. The Trio and Ginny have always liked Nev, and this fight showed them he was a good friend to them. The fight would also help Nev with his confidence. he went toe to toe with Death Eaters and Bella and walked away.With Ron/Luna, I think the same applies for Ron as for Her. As long as she's not talking about anything he sees as odd, or talking to him strangely, it's ok.
I apprciate the comments. It makes me think more about how the readers may perceive my characters. I have had this story in my head for months, so their personalities don't seem OOC for me.
Thanks for the great review.Glad you liked the Titan side. That will be the focus of the next chapter, with a short blurb about Harry. That's the style the chapters will be until they meet.You won't see Cyborg or BB much in this story. They really aren't needed, and I don't think I could write them in properly. I'll use them as the muggle liason when Rob/Star/Rae are in the magical world.
Please keep helping me improve:)
PS Wow, my longest review response ;)