(#) facia 2007-04-02
An interesting take on things. There are some minor mistakes (dunsparce is actually normal, not rock, and it's ground that's immune to electric-types, rock takes normal damage) but that stuff is kind of obscure, I know. There also seems to be a small continuity error, since the first line talks about "this strange dark, small prison you have me in" but at the end of the story it's been apparently released.
Your grammar is quite good and I liked that you outlined the different events of the dunsparce's life, being used in battle for several gym leaders and raised to level forty (I agree, dunsparce really does seem like it should evolve.), then sent to a daycare, storage, and finally released. It's a much more detailed portrayal than just having the dunsparce captured and boxed, and involves more of the things game trainers really do.
Author's response
Thank you. I never thought this would turn out well. IT's more difficult than I thought to write pokemon thoughts.