This was a good chapter too. I dont know which direction your storys gonna go in 'cause thats what you wanna focus your story line on mainly. (Your gonna have to pick one quick!) =)
The school scene was good. Couldve used a little more 'what was she feeling' as she spoke but I think the dialog was pretty strong and made its point. If your going with the whole love triangle thing as cliche as it is then you need to build up why is she with Frankie ,why they keep breaking up and more importantly why theyre still together. Plus theres a really good Gerard betraying Frankie story line there.
I didnt like the Frankie basement scene. I think you skipped over alot of important stuff. Gerard refernces her as having some already WHEN? I thought I missed it... so I re read it and it wasnt there. Then again when she refernces leaving some behind - again very imporatant to the story line espec. if your going the whole self destruction route. Which ever way you go just try to stay focused on one story line. If you try to make a self detructing triangle it'll be too hard to follow. Now Im not saying talk about one thing and one thing only because that would suck even more just put more details in the main story line and skip through the rest.
Author's response
i agree completely! thank you so much!
i might have to re write the chapter now, but whatever makes this story good. im getting tired on quiting in the middle of stories cause they suck. also, the gerard with someone thing was gonna come in the fourth chapta ;)...ha ha....don't worry. Once agian thank you so much! the next chapter, i will be sure to add more thought bubbles.