(#) facia 2007-04-09
Um. This seems pretty interesting, especially the contrast between the two, and a pokemon hating/fearing trainer where it does kind of make sense that they'd get a pokemon anyway is cool. I think it'd be good if you made sure to describe the pokemon a little more, mainly from Zack's view about them being scary. Since pokemon mostly seem so cuddly (despite the superpowers and ability to charbroil the average person), it'd help to better see how he feels about them and take it more seriously.
And, um, the new pokemon? I don't know if maybe it's supposed to seem totally bizarre or what, but I was really thrown by it. She gets two Hoenn pokemon out of the blue? They're interesting and kinda underused, but what are they doing on some newbie Cherrygrove trainer's team?