(#) facia 2007-04-12
Um...a pretty funny idea, Naminé as a slash fanartist and the results. But your writing is a bit rough. Dialogue should really be done as "Hi," she said, with commas rather than periods and no capitalization unless it's a name. And it's definitely, not defiantly. It's nice the way you told the story through dialogue, but I think you could have distinguished personality a bit more...all of the characters are somewhat generic and interchangeable. They're not OOC or anything, just that their personalities don't really show through as well as I think you could do.