Hate preps! Poor gee.
Loved the part about Frankie...aliens...lol.
But it kinda goes too fast. You jump from one part to the next, so if you could slow down a bit and describe some of the events- that would be awesome.
I have the same problem, I just rush the scene and don't describe enough.
It kinda makes the character less real.
Author's response
Thankyou for the advice. I'm going to be honest with you. i acctualy started this as a way to relive stress and now reading over it im relizing that im acctually ranting bout my life....apart from i dont know frank n Ray n Gee lol!