Ooo-kay. Um...very good...ok on the plot, and don't have SO MANY "!"s around. I mean, if I said things like this (Hi! I'm Pheonee! How are you! I lked your story! But I reckon you could work on it still! Even though it's quite good already! And these are the thing I think you should fix! One!...) It's gets kinda, well, hyperactive after a while.
Author's response
i was trying to express the tensity in the story=)