(#) facia 2007-05-15
Funny! Although, I did notice a small typo (disturbed!" He bellowed should have a lower-case h, I think, but the rest was written right), and some of the dialogue was a bit hard to follow because you'd hit return after saying the speaker, then have dialogue and narration involving the other character in the same paragraph.
It's clearer if it's like,
Crykit chimed, "That's cool!"
Jimmy rolled his eyes.
Rather than,
Crykit chimed,
"That's so cool!" Jimmy rolled his eyes.