The first thing I really noticed, albeit a very small thing, you tend to switch back and forth from present tense to past tense. It isn't a huge deal, but I'd thought I'd point it out all the same.
Now that I got that little knit-pickiness behind me, I have to say that I really enjoyed this fic. I was highly amused by the outcome of the entire fic. I must give you kudos on an excellent, and very vivid writings style. You are very good with description. It comes naturally within the parameters of the story and just flows nicely. On top of that, you kept all everyone in-character, even within the descriptions themselves; and that is always a sign of a good author.
I enjoyed this story; thank you very much for sharing!