You've got some excellent ideas about what a Lust/Greed relationship would be like. I've thought for a long time that those two would be really fascinating together because of their natures--it's always nice to see someone write the pairing. ^_^
Could I offer some advice, though? This story mostly tells flat-out what their relationship is like. It's good to be clear in a story, but I think it would draw the reader in more if the story told less and showed more, by describing their actions, conversations, and thoughts.
Author's response
Hm...you do have a point. Maybe I should write another story like this with a little less talk and a lot more action. grins Thanks for the helpful review.