Ok, here's an overall idea of Alex's thoughts while she was reading:
1) Maybe I should put away the nail file and concentrate on the story.
2) gasp Katy uses an I narrator.
3) The I-narrator must be Pete.
4) Oh, the I-narrator isn't Pete. Is it Andy? ANDY?
AND WHAT A FUCKING GOOD START! I mean, the MORGUE! Fantastic. I can't rate anymore so take the slap on the butt.