Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > These Are The Seeds We Sew
You would hope you would never see the end of a relationship by identifying their body on a morgue slab. Death only gives those who have lost time to dwell on exactly what they had and exactly, wh...
The call was the worst call I ever had the displeasure of receiving.
She'd put me down as a Next Of Kin contact - why?? I didn't understand, what about her parents and I know she had a sister and a brother, why me? Why did I have to be the one to take that call?
I had never done anything this awful in my life, I was 24, I wasn't supposed to be parking my car in morgue car parks, identifying a body. As much as I had wanted to procrastinate this moment or even pass it on to another poor soul, respect for the relationship I had with her made me go down there and do the right thing.
The Diener let me follow him through the various doors within the morgue, I could already feel how shallow my breathing got, I wanted it to, to reflect the sense of the death that surrounded that horrible place. It was in the air, to breath it commanded a quietness as I tried to control my nerve.
"She was brought in 2 days ago." He said gently as he opened the locker type tomb that I just prayed to God that she wasn't in, yet, I had done nothing for him so who was he to come to my rescue now?
I couldn't speak and the Diener didn't waste time in prolonging this awful moment, he unzipped the body bag and I knew I gasped hard, my hands covered my mouth straight away and the acidic taste of vomit catapulted up my throat.
"I'm afraid you can't touch her, but, you can have a few minutes if you need them." He said softly, I nodded and he left the room only a second later.
Her skin was a gray sallow complexion and her auburn hair remained almost neat looking.
I couldn't look at her anymore and I could only sob quietly by the table.
"What happened to you?"
My fingers reached out to touch her but I remembered what I'd been told, I couldn't touch her, because now her body was the central piece of evidence in a crime scene.
I could hear I was crying now. I was asking why I had received the phone call, why I was standing here having to identify her youthful wasted body, why she was dead, who put her in this position, did she suffer, oh god it was awful, I had to know.
Feeling utterly lost as her body remained motionless next to me, I just kept quiet and tried to remember every single second I had with her because now....well, now, there would be no more Charlie Redwood in my life.
Charlie was dead.
And how would I begin to show my grief, how could I explain it to everyone when no-one knew the torrid secrets our relationship held? How could I EVER show them a snippet of what this woman did for me? What, you think I got all confidence off my own strength?? You think I developed a tolerance of the camera's because I just got used to it? Did you really think it was me that made me a better musician each album?
Worst of all, I couldn't wear her on my arm like I wanted. I couldn't marry her. I couldn't raise the children I wanted with her. Conventional went out of fashion for me and in a bid to make my life as difficult as possible. I got involved with Charlie Redwood.
And look where it got her....
My throat was burning from the vomit. How the hell was I supposed to do a show tonight. I called Bob, told him an emergency came up and of course, that meant Joe called me moments later, hammering questions outta me.
"Don't push me Joe, just know that something came up and I just cannot perform tonight. I can't. I'd never let you all down for my own convenience, this is big....but it's private." I explained to him on the phone.
Joe gave me his best lip service, followed closely by Pete's. They're my best friends. But they knew nothing about it.
When I say 'it', I mean Charlie of course.
Which reminds me.
Those who know me well, know I love to juggle. I was too excited about this story and could no longer hold it back. It may be a while until I get the first chapter out. Enjoy this and tell me how excited you are...
Sign up to rate and review this story