(#) Shobs 2006-06-22
I've read this on FF.net, and I have to say, it was much easier to read there. I liked the story, and am always awaiting updates but...
This, however, isn't something I'd even touch in its current format. Would it be too much to ask to resubmit it with spaces/line breaks? Not to sound demanding or anything, but that "illerate" rating someone gave you is fitting in it's current state..
Good luck.
- Rain