FicWad

Gerard was fuming, not losing time he grabbed Frankie and tossed him to the floor, "Motherfucking bitch!"
His blood shot eyes locked on my unfocused ones, "What the fuck are you doing?," he was more wasted them me, Frankie, and Jamie put together and that was some powerful mix.

I...I," I stuttered, glancing at Frankie on the floor for help but he seemed to have some trouble to recover from the blow he got from the desk 's corner. He was holding his head and moaning, "Frankie?"

He didn't answer but kept moaning crap, "You hurt Frankie!," I tried to get up and tend to Frankie but Gerard grabbed me before I could set a foot on the floor and threw me violently on the bed, "Fucking stay there!"

He marched over to Frankie and kicked him a little, making him squirm on the floor with a painful face expression on his face, "You thought you could fuck her?!," Gerard's screams were so loud they echoed in my weary head, "No one fucks her but me! Do you understand, motherfucker?!," he lift Frank's limp figure and tossed him on the chair in the corner, "She doesn't moan for anyone but me! Do you hear!"
He came back to the bed and pried my legs apart, unzipping his jeans and pulling out his completely erect member, "Now you watch how I fuck her, how she screams for me and me alone!"
Frank groaned when I gasped as Gerard thrust into me. I lost myself in the pain and pleasure and the high. It felt so wrong yet so pleasurable. Maybe it was my thing, when people watched me. Though Frankie tried not to, he covered his eyes with his palms and kept moaning


I don't remember much of what happened after that. I remember going downstairs and dancing and then Gerard dragged me home and next thing I knew, I woke up in my own bed, with a major headache, dry mouth and the sun in my face. I got up cautiously and crawled downstairs to find the empty house with only Jordan laying lazily on his window seat with one eye on the mailbox and the other on the road. I stopped to pet his head, "You watch that mailbox, Jordie." He sniffled my hand, without even getting up.

My next stop was the minibar. I found that nothing cures a hangover like a fresh drink. But my dad picked up the habit of fucking locking it. You'd think that such a little fragile mini bar motherfucking lock would be easy to break open but it was an persistent bitch. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't break it in and open the world of sweet oblivion to me So instead I poured orange juice and made a point of pouting while drinking it, picturing it was an orange vodka instead.
.
It was almost noon but I had plenty of time to shower and pretend I was in school before my parents came home.

I stepped out of the warm shower when I heard loud knocks on the door. I threw on my jeans and hoodie on before running to the door, not stopping to think I probably shouldn't answer it since I was supposed to be in school.

"Finally," Gerard exclaimed when I flung the door open, catching my breath.

"Oh it's you," I stepped out of the way to allow him to march in, "You're not at school?," I noticed his school bag was absent and overall he didn't look like he was in school. His eyes were still blood shot and I couldn't decide what his skin tone was more, yellow or grey. His clothes were wrinkled and had a funny combination of cigarette and alcohol drifting from them.

"Can we talk?," he didn't wait for my reply and sat on the sofa with a thump.

"Listen about the art project," I started, "I'm sorry we didn't get to finish it but you still have time, we can work on it today. I'm free"

"Art project?," he frowned, "Fuck the art project, you fucking cheated on me"

My jaw dropped, unable to produce a flow of sounds which made a little thing called a sentence. His words hung heavily between us, even Jordan tore his eyes off the window and looked at us, "Cheated on you...?"

He didn't even blink, directing his hazel eyes forcefully on me.

"I didn't," I laughed out a little, "I didn't cheat on you"

"Then what the fuck do you call it?," he snapped, jumping to his feet and sending a hand through his hair, "Studying? Playing? Come on! Give me one of you best comebacks! You fucking cheated on me!"

My mother's image flowed to my mind. She is a slut, I'm a slut. She's a cheater, I'm a cheater? No I'm not like my mother, I'm nothing like here. I shook my head. It's different, "But I couldn't cheat on you"

"Then what was it?," he was losing his tamper, I could tell by the way his shoulders were tensed up and his eyes had changed a color to a more brown shade. He was more then just pissed, there was some other emotion in his face I couldn't read, "Were you or were you not about to fuck when I fucking came in?"

"Gerard-"

"Answer me," he hissed.

"Yeah"

"And isn't cheating is when one person or more who aren't single are fucking?"

"Yeah but we both are," I almost mouthed the words, his temper scaring me.

"Say what?," his shoulder fell immediately and he stepped back, "What do you mean?"

"Frank is single," I gulped, "And I'm single too"

"We broke up and I wasn't aware?," he slumped back on the sofa, looking kinda defeated.

"Gerard," I sighed, rubbing my forehead, "We weren't in a relationship. We never were"

"I don't understand"

"Didn't you say that cheating is when the people who are about to fuck aren't single.?" I demanded, waiting for his response which came in a form of an impatient nod. "But don't you need to be in an another relationship so it will count as cheating?"
He blink stupidly at me.
"I wasn't in one,- We weren't in one... I don't know why'd you think we were," the look on his face was hard to bear even for me. Over the years I knew him I said some evil shit to him and I was aware when I hurt him but I never saw that face expression before. It made me uncomfortable. I almost pitied him.

"But all the-," he mumbled, "Everything. I thought.."

"You meant the sex?," I couldn't help but smirk, "That's so typical. I slept with you so you figured I must have liked you or it meant something. Sex is physical and just cause I'm a girl doesn't mean I have feelings for the person I fuck. I fucked Arthur and Lee and it was nothing other then sex. Welcome to the adult world where sex means shit"

He exhaled loudly, trying to wrap his mind around my words, "But all the other things. Everything we shared. All the late night strolls. You trusted me with yourself"

I shrugged, "You're an OK guy but that doesn't mean we were dating"

"But Viola," he looked up, his face wrenched, "Don't tell me everything meant shit to you"

"Not shit," I squirmed under his gaze, trying to avoid the awkwardness of it all.

He sat in silence just staring at me. I looked out of the window, waiting for the blow.

"I liked you," he said, "Fuck that. I loved you. I love you"

I gasped, my neck snapping with the sharp turn I made towards him, my jaw dropping for the second time today, "You what?!"

"How could you not know?," he reached into his pocket for his cigarette pack, lighting one and taking a long drag, talking more to himself then to me, "How could you not? I was there for you. I breathed when you told me to. You humiliated me and I came back for more. You yelled at me and I took it. You flirted with Toro and I swore to kill him. How more obvious could I be? Did you honestly think it was for the fucking sex? You aren't even that good"

I grimaced at the insult, "You never fucking told me! I'm not a fucking mind reader"

"I made it perfectly clear!," he exclaimed angrily, waving his burning cigarette around, dropping some of the ash on the carpet, "I was committed, I supported you! I kept you out of trouble...Or at least I tried. I took the blame for everything you did!"

"But you never told me," I whined, "Never ever! I thought you're just spineless"

"You knew! You knew all along! You're just pretending you're not so you wouldn't have to deal with the fact you cheated on me"

"I didn't cheat on you," I shrieked, "I wasn't dating you! I didn't know!"

"Are you serious?," he arched his eyebrows, taking an angry puff, "Are you blind?"

"Fuck!," I threw my arms in the air, "I just didn't, OK? I'm sorry for not picking up your stupid hints"

"Hints! I was your fucking doormat!," he grumbled bluntly, "Hints!"

"You never asked me out," I shrugged, "How was I supposed to know?!"

"So that's the thing?," the corners of his mouth twitched a little for the first time since he came in, "I didn't woo you enough? Not enough whispering sweet fucking nothings in your ear? Not enough love notes?"

I stared down at the carpet while he finished his cigarette in silence. He dumped the butt into my orange juice glass I left on the coffee table before heading into the shower and scooted closer, "You really didn't know?," his tone was quiet again and he smelled like an ashtray.

I shook my head in respond, suddenly feeling too shy to look up.

"So let's do it right so everyone will know with whom and when they're dating," he smiled, "will you go to the valentine's day dance with me?"

I smiled widely, "Are you asking me out?". He nodded making me giggle, "Seriously," he nodded again. Soon my giggle turned into a full blown laughing fit, "You're asking me out?! You ask me?! Valentine's day! You!"

He was watching me with a frown on his face but I kept on laughing. It took me a while to pull myself together again, "No"

"No what?"

"I won't go to the dance with you"

He gazed at me confused, "I don't understand"

I wanted to snap something to ridicule him but tamed the desire with all my might, "I didn't know you liked me before and now that I do know I don't want it. I don't want to go out with you"

'Whoa. Whoa. Whoa," he put his hands in front of him and scooted back, "You don't wanna go out with me?"

"I'm afraid I don't"

"But why?"

"Cause," I browsed my mental vocabulary for nice polite words to tell him to fuck off but when I found none, I decide to go for the honest, direct version of it, "Cause I don't like you or love you therefore I do not wish to go out with you"

"You're saying no?"

"Um yeah"

"Yeah?"

"No"

"No?"

"Yeah"

"Please make up your mind," he clenched his jaw.

I rolled my eyes, it was hard to even dump him from our non existent relationship, "I don't wanna go out with you"

"Ever or just for the dance cause I know dances aren't your thi-"

"Ever," I nodded, hoping that the physical act will prove my point.

"But you said you didn't know I loved you"

"I didn't"

"And now that you know, you don't want me"

"Correct"

"Fuck you"

'I'm sorry"

"Motherfucking slut," were his final words before he stormed off on me leaving me with a bitter hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach.

My eyes traveled to the door he flung open which now swayed to the rhythm of the chill outside. I closed it and sat next to Jordan on the floor, trying to register in my mind the events of the last months, "Did you know mom cheats on dad?," I looked out of the window, petting Jordan, "And Alex is gay and Gerard loves me but I told him to get lost," Jordan rested his jaw on my palm, looking up at me, "What exactly did I just do?"