FicWad

Mikey’s POV

I held her hand tight, to try and make her wake up, to see her beautiful eyes, and hopefully receive a faint smile when she saw me at her side. The crash was bad, I was okay, but her in the back seat, no seatbelt, beer bottle in hand, she flew, through the windscreen, and crashed like my hopes and dreams of us being together forever, straight onto the main road. I was going to propose that night, we had gone out to a club, I was hoping it would put her in a good mood before I did it, I was taking her to the top of Channington hill, where we had our first date, and I had a picnic set up for us. I had planned it perfectly, the way I was going to say it,
“Will you marry me?” over and over for weeks on end had I practised the tone of my voice, the way I knelt down in front of her, and the speech I had prepared,
“My angel. You are the one thing that has kept me going through all the bad times, and you are the one who has laughed with me on the long drunk nights spent together. You are the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing when I go to sleep. Loving you is all I want to do in life, forever, till the day I die, I want to be the one who holds you at night when you’re asleep, and I’m the one who wants to kiss goodbye and my words to be the last thing to fall upon your ears. So I ask you know, out of passionate, deep true love, my one and only, my whole world, will you marry me?”
See, all planned out, every last detail, what I didn’t take into account was the fact that the neighbourhood we were driving through was full of drunks, and hobos. The guy who hit us was obviously drunk, but clever enough to put his seatbelt on, so all he had was a mild concussion. The collision was head on. You could tell from the way the cars were beat up so bad, the front of them squashed like a child has crushed a play dough car. There went my no claims insurance.
Suddenly, her hand started shaking, and the life support machine she was hooked up to started beeping and lights all over it started flashing wildly.
“Hey, can we get a doctor in here, she’s crashing!!” I shouted, and within a few seconds I had been pushed out of the way, so I was standing at the back of the room, watching the nurses and doctors try to save her. I watched them give her oxygen and use the defillabrator on her, that thing scared me, I’d watched enough movies and TV shows to know that when they used that, things weren’t going so good. I watched her jolt up and down as the metal plates put surge of electricity to her heart. Within a few mintues it was over; she was gone. I had never loved like that before, and maybe this was the worst possible way of fate telling me we weren’t meant to be. I sat outside the hospital, unable to move, unable to think of anything but her, unable to comprehend the fact that she was gone. I held my head in my hands, and suddenly broke down, all the emotions that had been rushing through me finally came out in a rush of tears and anger. I wanted to kill the man that did this to her, the man that crashed into us and ruined my life, and ended hers.
As I walked home, all I could think of was her smile, the way I felt safe holding her hand, how I would be the one she would phone when she wanted a someone to talk to, and sometimes I would phone her just to hear her voice and her laugh when I said something funny. I missed her, so much, what was I gonna do? Where was I gonna go? I didn’t want to go back to the flat, I wasn’t up to talking to anyone, not even Gerard. Then, I just started running, I didn’t stop, I ran past the places that reminded me of her, I ran past them with tears in my eyes, I ran until I didn’t know where I was, but I kept on running, I wasn’t running away, I wasn’t running to get anywhere, I was just running, hoping and praying that if I ran enough things would be back to normal, she would be next me, smiling like she always did, but no matter how far I ran, I realised, she was never coming back, and I had to understand that fact, get over it, move on, find something else to put all my heart and soul into. Find something to fill the aching and empty gap in my heart that cried out for something to save me, save me from losing it, completely going insane, just to think straight for second, think reasonably, realise that I was being immature about it all, I should take it like a man, bottle it all up, then check into a mental asylum when it all got too much. Well I wasn’t going to that, I was going to work at this, I was going to work through the tears, the heartache, and I would get over her, hopefully, but I would not forget her, that is something I would never do, she was my whole world, now having no world, no point or purpose, I collapsed. Collapsed on a bench, wanting to curl up into a ball and die, just like her, die, end it all, stop the madness from getting me, I didn’t want to have endure the many sad and pathetic soft-voiced greeting of “I’m so sorry” or “It’s such a shame”.
The next morning I woke, a familiar face greeting my eyes, it was Gerard.