Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Halloween Queens

Halloween Queens

by littlemissbrownstone 6 reviews

In which our heroes place their manhood in danger by letting their drummer call the shots…

Category: Guns n' Roses - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Published: 2008-06-25 - Updated: 2008-06-25 - 1303 words - Complete

It was the day before Halloween and Axl, Izzy, Slash and Duff were sitting in the living room of their crappy apartment waiting for Steven to come back. A few weeks prior they had all been invited to a costume party so they had sent the drummer out to get them their costumes because they were too lazy to do it themselves. They promised Steven free beer, which they didn't have. Each band member told Steven what he wanted to dress up as. Slash wanted to be Frankenstein, Duff wanted to be a zombie, Izzy wanted a Dracula costume and Axl wanted to dress up as Alex from A Clockwork Orange. The four guys were about to find out what a bad decision it was to send Steven out on this errand...

"I'm baaaack!" Steven yelled walking into the living room.

"Well? Let's see them!" Duff went to grab one of the five boxes Steven was holding in his arms but Steven slapped his hand away.

"Um...I didn't bring back exactly what you guys asked for." Steven said.

"What do you mean?" Axl asked cautiously. Steven looked nervous. This couldn't be good.

"I think we may have left looking for costumes a little late you guys. The costume shops are practically empty." Steven informed them.

"So what's in those boxes?" Izzy asked.

"My genius idea!" Steven grinned.

The drummer sat in the middle of the floor and set the boxes down. The rest of the guys saw that he had scrawled their names onto them.

"We're still going to be in costume, just not the ones you were expecting." He said as he handed them out one by one.

Once everyone had received a box Steven gave the go ahead. They all opened their boxes and each face portrayed the same reaction. Sheer terror.

"Dresses? You got us dresses!" Slash exclaimed holding up a frilly frock.

"Mine's a nurse's outfit!" Duff was disgusted.

"Mine's a schoolgirl's uniform!" Izzy looked sick.

"I got a wedding dress!" Slash almost was sick.

The three of them looked to Axl. The singer was looking down into his box as if he was looking at his dead dog.

"What is it man?" Izzy asked.

Axl shakily held up the dress he had been assigned. His face was pale and his eyes were wide.

"French maid."

They all stared at eachother in shock for a moment. The shock quickly turned to anger as they turned on Steven.

"What the fuck Steven!" Duff yelled. "I am not wearing a fucking dress!"

"Come on man! It's a great idea! No one else would have thought of this." Steven assured.

"That's because it's an awful idea!" Slash retorted.

"I thought you said the costume shops were all empty." Izzy said, "These are all costumes... except they're for girls."

"Yeah I know," Steven said, "I got them in a fetish store!"

They all groaned at the blonde and threw their dressed at him. Steven covered his head as he was pummelled. When it was safe to look he stood up amongst a pile of frills and stockings and spoke.

"Fine then. Don't wear the dresses. I'll be wearing my dress with pride and when people ask me where the rest of my friends are I'll tell them they weren't man enough to wear a dress!" He folded his arms across his chest and glared down at his band mates.

"Nice try Stephanie, but you're not gonna guilt us into wearing them that easily!" Izzy said.

"Wait a minute!" Duff thought for a second. "He has a good point about no one thinking of this."

They all looked to the bassist.

"There's probably going to be twenty Draculas and thirty zombies at this party. None of the guys are gonna dress up in drag."

"Hey that's a good point." Axl agreed.

"Yeah good thinking Duff!" Izzy said and patted Duff on the back.

"That's what I said! I just said that!" Steven pointed out.

"And so it shall be! This Halloween we shall be sluts!" Slash proclaimed with his arms in the air.

Steven did a happy dance and beamed.

"Steph I have a question..." Duff said looking at his dress.


"Why am I a nurse?" He was genuinely curious.

Steven looked to the floor and shuffled his feet.

"Well, sexy nurses are always leggy blondes aren't they? And Izzy you wear a lot of shirts anyway, so a schoolgirl's uniform would look perfect on you! Slash you probably won't need the veil with that hair and Axl you're the French maid because..." He hesitated for a moment then sighed.

"...I just think you'd look really hot as a French maid."

Axl blushed badly and bit his lip while everyone else laughed.

"Well?" Izzy looked to Steven expectantly.

"Well what?"

"Who are you?"

Steven smiled and lifted his dress out of the box and held it out to them.

"A cheerleader. You chose to be a cheerleader?" Slash was stunned.

"I'm the cute one! You guys always say I'm the cute one!"

They couldn't help but laugh at him. Maybe this dress thing wasn't going to be so bad. Even if people made fun of them, they were still going to have one awesome night out.


Dinnertime fell upon the house of Guns and Izzy, Duff and Steven were sat at the dinner table waiting for their food. The musicians had really warmed to the idea of wearing a dress and were now discussing the finer details of the matter...

"Are we gonna be drag queens or men dressed in drag?" Duff asked.

"What's the difference?" Izzy asked back.

"If we're going to be men dressed in drag then we just have to put on the dresses and that's that. But if we're going to go the whole way we'll have to get our legs waxed and stuff."

Izzy cringed. He wasn't one for pain. Just then, Slash and Axl walked in with a wonderfully prepared dinner.

"Pizza's here! Duff I hope you don't mind I used your secret stash to pay the pizza boy." Slash smiled smugly at the bassist.

"You're a dick." Duff wasn't good at comebacks.

Slash and Axl sat down and the five of them tucked into their pizza.

"Axl, Izzy wants to get his legs waxed." Steven said munching on his food.

Axl's hand stopped mid way to his mouth and he let the pizza hang there as he stared at Izzy.

"I do not! Fuck you cheerleader boy! Axl, Duff was wondering if we were gonna, you know, get all girly and pampered for the party." Izzy said.

Slash laughed out loud and Axl cleared his throat.

"It's up to Steven." The singer went back to his pizza.

The rest of the guys knew what was coming next.

"I think we should! If we're gonna do this thing we may as well do it right! Take it to the extreme you know! Go where no man has ever gone before!" His friends weren't even stirred by his motivational speech.

"I'm pretty sure Poison got there before us." Slash remarked.

"So what all do we have to get done?" Duff asked.

As Steven listed off the things to be done in preparation for their costumes, Izzy lost more shades of colour in his face.

"We need to get our eyebrows plucked, legs waxed, nails manicured and don't forget hair and make up!" Steven smiled.

"May I please be excused from the eyebrows and hair and make up stuff?" Slash asked.

"No, why would you be?"

"You won't see any of that with the wedding veil." Slash said.

"Nice try."

Slash sulked and played with his food.

The rest of the guys looked at eachother nervously. They were in for one hell of a painful ride.

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