Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Halloween Queens

Part II

by littlemissbrownstone 2 reviews

In which Guns become Goddesses...

Category: Guns n' Roses - Rating: G - Genres: Humor - Published: 2008-06-27 - Updated: 2008-06-27 - 1471 words - Complete

Halloween day and the guys were standing outside the beauty parlour staring up at the sign above the door.

"Goddess! Because every woman is one!" Slash read the sign in a high-pitched voice.

"Are you ready for this?" Duff looked to his band mates. Of course they weren't.

The bassist took a deep breath and held his head up high.

"Let's do it."

They trudged into a small lobby. It had a sitting area with big colourful couches with fluffy cushions scattered on top of them and stacks of women's magazines on top of the coffee table in the middle. There was a receptionist's desk with an old lady sitting behind it taking calls and the smell of flowers and perfumes was nauseating. Izzy thought this must be what Hell looks like as he sat down next to Axl on one of the couches. Duff and Slash sat on the opposite couch in the sitting area. Izzy silently thanked the gods that no one else was there.

Steven walked up to the receptionist's desk and smiled at her.

"My friends and I are here to get pampered and all that crap. The whole shebang! Legs, eyebrows, nails, hair and makeup!" Steven informed her.

The old lady wrinkled her nose at the drummer and looked behind him to inspect the rest of the scoundrels he had brought with him.

"You're looking to get the 'Supreme Goddess' treatment."

Steven stifled a laugh and paid the lady with all the money the guys had mustered up. Dressing up as a goddess for Halloween was not cheap.

"Thank you. The Twins will start you off with the leg waxing. They'll take you in two at a time. Please have a seat." She smiled and disappeared into one of the many doors leading to the different compartments of the beauty parlour.

The drummer sat down next to Slash and smiled at the worried faces around him.

"It's not as bad as we thought! We're getting our legs waxed by twins!" He said. "We'll have to pair up though so one of us will be on his own."

Slash and Duff moved in close to eachother and Izzy grabbed Axl's arm.

"Fine! I'll have the Twins all to myself then!"

Just as he said it the receptionist reappeared and went back to her desk.

"The Twins are ready to take the first two clients!" She called over.

Axl and Slash looked at eachother.

"After you!" Axl said.

"Ladies first!" Slash replied.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" Axl asked.

The guitarist nodded. They counted to three and made their move. Slash grinned.

"Rock beats scissors!"

Axl and Izzy got up and hesitated. Duff gave them an army salute and then pretended to weep into Slash's shoulder.

"They were so young!" He said between fake sobs.

"Come on Izzy." Axl said pulling the guitarist along with him as he walked towards the door that led to their doom.

As the two men disappeared into the room, Slash leaned in close to Duff and smiled mischievously.

"I wonder what the Twins are gonna be like."


The room was small and had two waxing beds to lie on in the middle. Izzy noticed that the beds were quite close to eachother. At least Axl could hold his hand while he was being tortured. Axl walked over to the pot of bubbling wax and reached out a finger.

"Don't touch it Axl it's hot!" Izzy scolded.

The singer pouted at him like a child and did as he was told. Then the Twins walked in.

"Hello darlings!"

Axl and Izzy spun around to where the voice had come from and their jaws hit the floor. The Twins were very tall, both wearing tight, white trousers and white short-sleeved shirts with a bright pink, decorative scarf to tie the outfit together...and they were men.

"Oh my! This is a surprise!" One of them said as he eyed up the shocked rockers. "We haven't had some sexy studs in here since forever! Isn't that right Collin?"

"Oh yes that's right Clive! It's been a while since we last had some boys in here." The other replied, "Remember how that ended up?"

The Twins giggled and looked to their victims. Izzy looked at Axl. The singer stared back at him. Shit.


"How spontaneous is your sex life?" Steven read aloud as he scanned the magazine. "Oh cool it's a quiz!"

He took one of the pens from the table and started circling letters.

"Hey how about this one," Duff said and cleared his throat, "How to please your man in five simple but sexy steps."

"Wait, wait, listen to this!" Slash said sniggering at his magazine, "Which vibrator are you best suited for?"

Laughter erupted amongst them as they read out more article titles.

"Dresses to make him want you!"

"101 handbags you must own!"

"What women really want in a man! Hang on..." Duff paused and read on for a bit. "Hey if we read this I bet we could have all the girls on the Strip!"

Slash and Duff pored over the magazine article in silence.


The two men jumped at the sound of Steven's voice.

"Done what?" Duff asked.

"This quiz!" The drummer tapped the page with his pen. "According to this, my sex life with Axl has a spontaneity rating of seven!"

Slash and Duff burst out laughing.

"In your wet dreams Steven!" Duff said. "First you dress him up as a French maid and now this? Poor Ax. He shouldn't have to deal with all this unwanted man-love!" He patted Steven on the head and went back to his magazine.


Axl was lying on his back on one of the beds. Izzy, lying on the bed next to him, was cutting the circulation off in his hand.

"Izzy! You're doing it again!" Axl hissed.

"Sorry." Izzy loosened his grip but didn't let go.

"Oh honey this isn't going to hurt at all!" Clive said as he prepared the instruments of pain.

The guys had been given white robes that said 'Goddess' on the back but for the leg waxing they had to take them off. Izzy and Axl weren't too comfortable with being in their underwear but the worry of being raped by the Twins left them as the first bit of hot wax was applied.

The two men let out shrieks and Izzy squeezed Axl's hand again.

"Oh relax, it's really not that bad!" Collin assured as he smoothed down the first strip onto Axl's leg while Clive did the same to Izzy.

"Ready Collin?"

"Ready Clive!"



Axl screamed a 'Welcome to the Jungle' scream and Izzy managed to top that.

It had begun.

Wax, strip, rip. Wax, strip, rip. It went on and on but surprisingly, Axl and Izzy became accustomed to the pain after the initial strips. Izzy even let go of Axl's hand and they had started making light-hearted conversation with the Twins.

"So why have you boys decided to get pampered?" Collin asked, "You don't seem like the type who would be into this kind of thing."

"We're dressing up as sexy sluts for Halloween!" Izzy replied.

"Oooh how wonderful!" Clive squeaked, "I can't wait to meet the rest of your friends. I don't suppose any of the others are into men?"

Izzy and Axl looked at eachother and smiled.

"Actually," Axl said, "We have a feeling you two are gonna get on really well with our drummer."


Axl and Izzy emerged from the house of wax sporting their new robes and smooth legs. They sat down on the couch and waited for the questions.

"How was it? Did it hurt?" Duff asked.

Axl put on a dramatic face and started telling his tragic story.

"Oh Duff it was horrible! It hurt so bad! I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain!" He cried. "Izzy even started crying!"

Izzy gave Axl a quick glare and went on with their convoluted lie.

"Yeah man, you're gonna hate it so much. It's worse than anything you've ever felt before." He added.

"Ready for the next two!" The receptionist called over to them.

A pale faced Slash and Duff gulped and stood up.

"Good luck!" Axl yelled over as they went into the room.

Just as they disappeared Steven looked over to Axl.

"Can I touch you?" He asked innocently.

Izzy burst out laughing and Axl had once again been made to blush by the drummer.

"No! I didn't mean, I just, I..." Steven blushed as bad as Axl.

Axl smiled shyly and moved his leg towards Steven.

"Wow! That is smooth!" Steven said as he moved his hand over Axl's skinny leg. "What were the Twins like?"

"Well they're tall, blonde and they love drummers!" Izzy said.

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