FicWad

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The group met in the back room of the Magic Box the next afternoon, dressed for battle and armed with stakes and crossbows.

"You don't need your gaming stuff, dork," Jonathan said, pointing at Andrew's backpack.

"Duh! It's for supplies. I left my books and most of my dice at home," retorted Andrew. Warren raised his eyebrows at Andrew. "I brought my green D-20 for luck," the blond boy admitted. "Uh, how does this work?" He leaned down and reached toward one of the mystical symbols drawn around a circle on the floor.

"Don't touch it!" Jonathan grabbed Andrew's arm before he could reach the symbol. "I'm going to cast the tracking spell," he added. He held up a small stick of wood which had a string tied around the center. "That will turn this stick into a - a sort of compass, that will point towards the Chraka, if it's within a couple of miles. Then we follow it until we find the Chraka, bring it back here, and I'll cast the spell that will destroy it."

"Sounds easy," said Warren. "What's the catch?"

"We don't know that yet," said Xander. "It'd spoil the surprise."

Jonathan kneeled down and put the stick with the string in the center of the circle. He took four cups, each filled with a different herb, and placed the cups around the circle. He chanted softly as he took each of the cups, one at a time, and sprinkled the contents over the stick. After the last ingredients had been added, Jonathan leaned back, and spoke the final phrase of the spell. A flash of blue light filled the circle and disappeared.

"Oh, very ILM!" exclaimed Andrew.

"Yeah, nice light show," Warren admitted. "But did it work?"

Jonathan picked up the string, and watched the stick dangling from it. Instead of swinging around, the stick pointed rigidly in one direction. He pushed the stick aside, and it immediately snapped back in place.

"Yeah, it works," said Jonathan, standing up.

"Good," said Xander. "Let's go."




In another town, the police might have stopped four armed men who walked through the streets, holding a stick on a string out in front of them. This being Sunnydale, all they got were some strange looks. The makeshift compass lead them to the woods outside of town and into a small cave.

"There's nothing here," said Warren, as they looked around at the walls of the cave.

"There has to be," said Jonathan. "Maybe there's a secret compartment or something. Or it's under a rock?"

"Shouldn't your stick be pointed at a rock, then? Face it, Sparky, the spell didn't work," said Warren.

"There's probably a trick to it," said Xander. He ran his hands over the wall in front of him. Jonathan tried to do the same thing, but when the stick touched the wall of the cave it disappeared, revealing a tunnel.

"Cool!" said Andrew.

"Must have been an illusion," said Jonathan. He stepped into the tunnel and the others followed. The tunnel was completely dark until Andrew flicked on a flashlight.

"Good thinking, Andrew," said Xander.

"I brought a bunch of stuff," Andrew said. "I've got water, food, extra batteries, matches, marbles-"

"Marbles?" asked Jonathan.

"Well, marbles were really useful in the Dungeons of Wraithhaven," said Andrew.

"That was a D&D game!" said Jonathan.

Andrew shrugged. "So?"

"Okay!" said Xander. "Let's get going." He looked behind him to make sure the way they'd come in was still there, and discovered to his shock that it wasn't.

"So, this is real life!" said Jonathan.

"Guys!" Xander said. The others noticed where Xander was looking and turned around. Andrew shined the flashlight down the tunnel, which now continued back as far as they could see.

"Not an illusion," said Jonathan. "A portal."

"Where are we? How do we get back?" asked Warren.

Jonathan studied the tunnel carefully. "I... don't know," he finally admitted.

"Oh, that's great," said Warren sarcastically.

"I don't see you coming up with any ideas, genius boy!" replied Jonathan, glaring at Warren.

"Hey! Warren's not the one who got us stuck here!" said Andrew, crossing his arms and glaring back at Jonathan.

"Stop it!" yelled Xander. The other three turned and stared at him. Xander took a deep breath. "Okay, I've now alerted every nasty within hearing distance that we're here. Look, it doesn't matter whose fault it is we're here. We have to find this chakra-thingy and figure out a way home without losing any body parts, and it will be a lot easier to do that if you guys aren't bickering. So get along! That's an order."

"But-" protested Andrew.

"That's. An. Order," said Xander, staring down at Andrew. Andrew gulped, and nodded. Xander turned to Jonathan. "Which way do we go?"

Jonathan held up the compass. "That way," he said, pointing down the tunnel ahead of him. Xander nodded. "Wait," Jonathan added. "We should mark this spot somehow."

"I have chalk," volunteered Andrew. He pulled a thick piece of chalk out of his bag and drew a symbol on the wall.

"Dude, that's the Quake III symbol," complained Jonathan.

"And a great symbol it is!" said Xander hastily. "It's fine. Let's go." He gestured to Jonathan to lead them.



It was a rough, natural tunnel, tall enough that they could all stand up straight, but only wide enough for two people to walk side by side. Andrew and Jonathan walked in the front, carrying a flashlight and the compass-stick, respectively. Warren and Xander followed behind them.

"You realize we're heading further away from the way we came in?" asked Warren as they walked down the tunnel.

"Well, yeah," said Xander. "We could walk back and forth over that spot, but that wouldn't help us find the Chraka, would it?"

"I'm just trying to say, how the hell are we getting home? Even if we do find this thing, will it open a portal back? Or will we wander around here forever with a neat little trinket?" asked Warren.

"Not just any trinket," said Xander. "A very powerful trinket that we don't have a hope of using."

"Um, how does that help us?" asked Andrew.

"It doesn't," admitted Xander. "Look, I don't know exactly how we'll get out of here. But we will. Somehow."

"Pep talks aren't really your thing, are they?" asked Jonathan.

"Not so much, no," said Xander.

"I know a spell," said Jonathan. "It can send a message across dimensions, but it needs a focus, like a personal item of the person you're trying to reach."

Xander felt his pocket to make sure his wallet was still there. "I have a photo of Anya," he said. "Would that help?"

"Yeah, that would work." Jonathan turned slightly to look back at Xander, which was probably why he didn't notice that his foot had caught on a tripwire. Xander noticed, though. He saw Jonathan's foot catch the wire and heard a rumbling sound. "So if we get stuck --"

"Look out!" yelled Xander. Andrew looked up, and jumped back, landing on top of Warren and knocking him to the ground. Xander grabbed Jonathan's arm, and pulled him out of the way as several rocks the size of bowling balls fell on the spot where Jonathan had been standing. Xander took a cautious step forward, but jumped back as gravel rained down on him. More rocks fell, and Jonathan flinched at the sound of each one hitting the ground echoed down the tunnel.

Nobody moved for several minutes. Xander looked over at the others. "Anyone hurt?" he asked anxiously. What would he do if they were? Couldn't really call 911 from here.

"I think we're okay," said Warren.

"Me too," said Jonathan. "And, whoa!"

"Yeah," said Xander. "So, guess we need to watch out for booby traps."

"Um, Andrew? You can get off me now," said Warren. Andrew was still sprawled across Warren where he'd landed.

"Oh! Sorry," Andrew said, getting up. Warren stood up too, brushing the dirt off his pants.

"Thanks," said Jonathan to Xander.

"Anytime," said Xander. "Someone should put up a sign -- 'Watch for Falling Rock.'" He laughed awkwardly, but the joke fell flat and his laugh echoed back to him along the tunnel.

They stepped carefully around the rocks and continued down the tunnel, moving slower now. Andrew led the way, sweeping the path in front of him with the beam of the flashlight. They spotted another tripwire near a spot where the tunnel curved, and avoided it easily.

After a few more twists and turns, the tunnel stopped in front of a huge stone door. Scratches marred the center of it, as though some beast had tried to claw its way through.

"I wouldn't want to meet the thing that made those marks," said Xander.

"It's Kler-chu," said Andrew.

"Bless you," replied Xander.

Andrew shook his head. "The marks," he said. "They're not scratches, they're Kler-chu glyphs."

"That's a language?" asked Warren. Andrew nodded.

"Can you read them?" asked Jonathan.

"I think so." Andrew moved the flashlight to his left hand, and traced the glyphs with his right hand. After a moment he started coughing and wheezing.

"You okay?" asked Xander, moving toward Andrew. "Do you need some water?"

Andrew shook his head and held up his hand to keep Xander back. He continued wheezing, and ended with a hacking noise that sounded like he was trying to cough up a hairball. The door creaked, and slowly swung inwards. The others stared at Andrew, not sure how to react to this display of skill.

"What did you say?" asked Jonathan.

"Roughly translated," said Andrew, "it means 'Open, you stupid piece of stone.'" He pulled a bottle of water from his backpack and took a long drink.

"Good job, Andrew," said Xander. Andrew smiled at him.

"Give me some of that water," said Warren. Andrew passed him the bottle, and brought out another one for Jonathan and Xander to share.

"Let's go," said Xander finally. Andrew put the water away and shined the flashlight through the doorway.



They entered a round room, with doorways leading to tunnels along the wall all the way around. Jonathan held up the stick-on-a-string, and pointed to one of the tunnels.

"That way," he said. They walked along in silence for a few minutes.

"If a caveman and an astronaut got into a fight, who do you think would win?" asked Andrew finally.

"How could a caveman and an astronaut get into a fight?" asked Jonathan.

"Suppose an astronaut hit a wormhole, went back in time, landed near a caveman, and the caveman attacked him," said Andrew.

"The caveman would win," said Jonathan. "He'd be a lot stronger than the astronaut."

Warren shook his head. "The astronaut would be smarter and have superior technology. That beats brute force any day."

"Weapons aren't everything," said Xander, thinking of some of Buffy's fights. "Instinct is pretty important, too."

"Plus, if the caveman attacked first, the astronaut might not have time to get to his weapons," argued Jonathan.

"That wouldn't be a fair fight, then," said Andrew.

"Neither is using weapons against an unarmed caveman," protested Jonathan.

"Then why's he an astronaut and not just a guy, if he doesn't have any modern tools?" asked Warren. "Guy's got to use the abilities he has, fair or not. Besides, the caveman'd be using his tools, right, Andrew?"

"I guess." Andrew stepped forward onto a smooth patch of ground, and a trap door opened under his feet. He screamed, and both he and the light disappeared. Xander couldn't breathe for a moment. He could hear the flashlight bouncing off the side of the pit as it fell, the sound getting further and further away.

"I got him," came Warren's voice. Xander relaxed a bit. "I grabbed his backpack-" The sound of fabric tearing echoed down the tunnel like a gunshot. Andrew cried out in fear. "Need some help here," added Warren.

Xander dropped to his stomach, and felt around in the dark until he found the trapdoor. He reached in, found a handful of soft hair, and moved his hands down until he could grab Andrew's arm.

"Got his arm," said Xander.

"Me too," said Jonathan, who had done something similar.

"Okay," said Warren. "Towards me, on three. One, two, three!" They pulled Andrew out of the hole and laid him next to it, where he clung to the ground.

"Fiat lux," whispered Jonathan. A tiny spot of light appeared in the palm of his hand, like the light of a single candle. "It's not as bright as the flashlight," he apologized.

"Any light's better than nothing," said Xander. "That's pretty handy."

"Sorry about the flashlight," said Andrew, sitting up.

"Don't even worry about it, Andrew," replied Xander. "We're just glad you didn't go with it. Nice reflexes, Warren."

"Yeah, thanks, Warren," said Andrew. Warren offered his hand to Andrew, who took it and let Warren pull him to his feet. Andrew's backpack now hung from one shoulder. The other strap had torn away from the pack.

"No problem," said Warren.

"Jonathan? Do you have a 'Detect Traps' spell or something?" asked Andrew.

"Andrew? This is real life. Not D&D. Remember?" said Jonathan.

"Yeah, I know, but you made a light spell," said Andrew. "Why not a 'Detect Traps'?"

"I can't detect traps!" said Jonathan. "And I'm pretty limited without my magic bone."

Warren smirked. "Your what?"

"My magic bone. My cousin gave it to me. It's a really powerful magical object-"

"Your cousin gave you a /magic bone/," laughed Andrew.

"Guys, don't laugh, it's - seriously, Jonathan? A magic /bone/?" Xander choked back a chuckle.

Jonathan frowned. "If you're going to laugh at me-"

"No, we're not - we need you," said Xander. "Right, guys?"

"A magic bone!" said Warren. He and Andrew doubled over with laughter. Jonathan started walking back the way they had come. "I have a magic bone, too," said Warren. "It doesn't detect traps, though, it detects-"

"Guys!" said Xander. "Lay off Jonathan." Xander reached out and touched Jonathan's arm. "Don't be upset, Jon. Think about it - magic bone? It's really kinda funny." Jonathan pulled away. "But we totally respect you and your magic," Xander added quickly. "Right, guys?" He turned and glared at Andrew and Warren. The full effect of the Xander glare was lost in the dim light, but his tone of voice got the point across.

"Um, right," said Andrew, wiping away tears of laughter.

"Totally," said Warren. "Behind you all the way, Frodo."

"Don't call me Frodo," groused Jonathan.

"No problem, Sparky," said Warren. "So? Trap doors are a problem, right? What if we walk along the edge of the tunnel? This trap door was in the center, so maybe any others are, too."

Xander nodded. "That could work. We should probably hold hands, too. Just in case."

"Hold hands!" gasped Andrew. "With each other?"

"You know what homophobia really means about you, don't you?" teased Warren.

"You don't have to hold hands if you don't want to, Andrew," said Xander. "But I don't think your backpack can hold your weight anymore."

Andrew gulped. "I'm okay with holding hands."

They formed a line. Jonathan led them, holding out his tiny light. Their eyes had adjusted now, so they could see pretty well in the dim light. Xander followed, holding onto Jonathan's wrist, since the other hand still held the stick-on-a-string. Andrew clung tightly to Xander's other hand, and to Warren's hand. They shuffled along the side of the tunnel, backs against the wall. They moved slowly, still searching for tripwires along the way.

Suddenly Jonathan stopped. "Uh-oh," he said.

"What? Tripwire?" asked Xander.

"No, a spot just sank under my foot when I stepped on it," Jonathan replied.

"Okay, nobody move," said Xander. They froze. Xander held his breath, listening for any hint of what was coming. He could hear the pounding of his heart and feel Andrew's sweaty hand squeezing his own. He'd almost convinced himself that Jonathan had stepped on a loose rock when the grinding noise began above them.