FicWad

Chapter Twelve: Breaking The Broken.
Song: Three Days Grace – Gone Forever

A/N: Before you read this, I would like to advise you all to “read in-between the lines” – think about this chapter, and you'll understand a whole lot. don’t just read it, read in-between the lines! TY :)



The New Jersey clouds faded into dim shades of ivory’s and orange’s as the day was coming to an enclose. The loud ticking of clocks could be heard in the distance as hush whispers of patents and doctors could be heard. It sound somewhat haunting as the wind carried there voice throughout the vacant halls and throughout the empty bedrooms. My finger’s were cold and lifeless as I ran them smoothly mover my pail flesh, I shivered at the unfamiliar gesture.

I still felt the councilor’s almost grey eyes burning into me as I ran my fingers across my bare arms. “Gerard, you need to be familiar with the feeling of touch, rub your arms, get used to the feeling of human skin, the feeling of touch....”

My hands were shaking as I continued to run my left hand up and down my arms, the slight friction causing the tingling sensation to increase. The councilors words scarred me deeper than I had ever expected, “If you trust yourself, then and only then, will you allow yourself to trust others.” That thought had never crossed my mind, the very fact that I didn’t trust myself. But why? How could you not trust yourself?

I sighted heavily as the winds swayed silently as the soon to be setting sun would slowly begin to disappear. The bright yellows blinded me as I stared directly into the globe that began to burn my fragile eyes but I refused to look away. Black silhouettes danced around the room as I looked out into the distance, few people roamed the outside as the sun began, and would slowly denigrate behind the swaying branches of trees and distant hills. Mothers dragged there children along quickly, pursing there lips as there children whined and cried.

My chapped and broken lips curved themselves into a small content smile as a small boy held a brown bear and yelled as his mother took him by the wrist and began to drag him, the little boy somewhat reminded me of Mikey at a young age, eyes wide with anger and sadness as our mother would drag him away from the small finches that cooed and chirped as he stood watching them in awe.

“B-But m-m-mummy! I wanna watch the bir-”

“No Mikey!”

“But-”

“That’s enough Mitchel!”

I had always tried to influence my mother to buy Mikey a little bird, but like so many other things, I failed.

“Who’s going to clean the cage? Feed it? Huh Gerard? Or do you expect me to do everything around here?”

“No Ma, I’ll do it-”

“Don’t even start Gerard Way, I’ve had enough. The answer is no, and it will always be a no.”

“But-”

“No buts! Get out of here, now!”

I never understood why she was so against buying Mikey a bird. She new I would have looked after it, she fucking new, yet she still said no. I didn’t understand it.. but I hardly understood anything these days.
My family never felt the need to show affection to there “fucked up sons” my Aphephobia was just an excuse for them. They never wanted me or Mikey, because in my mothers wronged eyes.. we were the reason our father left us.

Sometimes I asked myself, was that the real reason I hated Frank Iero? And if It was, what a pathetic excuse to cause someone so much pain.

Don’t get me wrong, I DO hate him, but sometimes Its hard not to pity someone or something. They way his eyes glistened when he pleaded me not to take the last image he had, I wont lie, at one stage I wanted to drop the very image and rush into his arms and mutter small “it’s okay.”

They way he looked at me, so familiar, so hurt.. somewhat reminded me of Mikey.

I pitied Frank Iero, but at the same time I hated him. He was the reason Mikey looked at me with such hurtful and pain trenched eyes. He was the reason, and for that he was going to pain.

He caused me pain, so I have the right to cause him pain, right?

The small crumbled plastic crushed and crinkled as I slipped my hand into my black sweatpants, the soft bland plastic was soft against my fingers as I pulled it from it original resting place. The black ash swished around as I held it delicately in my lap, observing ever little crinkle in the clear plastic.

Was this how Frank Iero’s heart would be, once I slipped it into his hands? Would he be broken beyond repair?

“…Everything was made to be broken.”

That small sentence, made up of no more than six words, held so much meaning, so many memories.

“Daddy! Daddy!” The warm tears leaked from my wide and frightened eyes as I ran towards my father who stood lazily on the veranda, he sipped away at the half empty vodka, groaning loudly as I rushed to his side.

I slid to my knees, tattered and ripped art book clenched in hands as I sobbed.

“What did I tell you?! Leave me alone when he’s outside!” He snapped, eyeing me darkly.

“B-But Daddy! S-Some b-boys ripped my art b-book! A-A-And they were calling m-me names!”

“Get used to it kiddo.” He snorted, taking another gulp of the bitter liquid, cringing slightly as he yawned, the appalling smell of un-brushed teeth and liquor causing me to shuffle away slightly. The man that I new as my father laughed bitterly “want some?” he joked, thrusting the bottle in my hands.

“D-Daddy!” I whined, rubbing at my already aching red nose. “T-They hurt my b-book!”

My father sighted heavily, pulling the bottle into his lap once more. “Things are made to be broken Gerard, never forget that.”



With shaking hands, I found myself scribbling “Broken” with dark ink with horrid handwriting onto the clear plastic. I admired my work for a moment, my father may have been an ignorant drunk, but he had never spoken truer words.

Things were made to be broken.

Thousands upon thousands of people broke every day. A broke heart, a broken soul ever a broke leg or arm. The world revolved around causing physical and metal pain to others. Some shy away from this very truth, but not me. Never me.

I refused to be blinded by the truth. I fucking refuse.

The world could and only be described as a war zone. Better still, MY world could be perfectly described as a war zone, one had to fight and kill to survive. And that was the main reason why I had to destroy Frank. I HAD to do it, I didn’t have a choice any longer, if I didn’t destroy him first he would take me down, slowly and painfully.

“Do it, fucking just do it.” I continued to mutter until I forcefully pushed the plastic chair back. It feel to the floor with a light thump, but I paid no attention to it, instinctly my hands automatically wrapping themselves around the small plastic bag, and in that moment all feelings were lost, I was complete and utterly numb to all emotions, to everything surrounding me as I exited my room and began to walk down the dimly lit hallways as dawn began to fall upon the hospital. The oranges and yellows haunted me as they grew darker and darker as the sun began to slowly disappear behind the distant hills and trees.

The burning light was gone.
And so was my soul.

“You are no son of mine!”

“I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!”

“Fucking faggot”

“Loser!”

“Freak!”

“Never give up Gerard, never ever give up, you promise?”

“Yes Grandma, I promise.”

“Good boy.”




She has always taught me to never give up, to never walk away from something that was too hard. She had always said “keep trying, never give up” and for the first time in my entire life, I was going to. I wouldn’t walk away from this fight, not now, not never.

The walk to Frank’s hospital room had been shorter than expected, it almost caught me by surprise as the pail white door came into view, the bright golden letters shun with the same luminous hue as before. My lips trembled with the same nervousness, however this time it would not leave. It was going to stay, and I was sure of that fact.

Frank Iero was in his room this time. He wasn’t off wondering the corridors looking for me. This time I was the one looking for him, I was the one who would seek him out and then destroy every last bit of hope he had left. It was almost like hide and seek, only you would search and hide for your deal life.

The oak wood was soft and cold. Lifeless even as my hands slowly slid down until it hovered slightly over the silver doorknob. “Its just hide and seek Gerard.. juts hide and seek. Do it, hurry up, do i-“

All thoughts slowly disappeared as an unfamiliar tune began to fill my entire body as the soft flowing melody flowed thought the silent hospital. The low and high notes mixed into one to create a slow and flowing tune, the haunting notes erupting through my eardrums as I listened intently.

He was playing, Frank Iero was plucking away all the bad, all his nightmares.. but worst of all, he had no clue that I stood, shaken and hurt outside his very door ready to flock all his pain right back in his face.

I cant do it. I cant fucking do it.

My body was shaking, the small bag feeling heavier and heavier by every passing moment. I began to fill lightheaded, my head slowly fell against the cold wood as my eyelids began to feel weaker and weaker as small tears dropped from my eyes.

Why did I feel like this?

Why did he make me feel so weak?

My sobbing gradually got louder, the pain and hurt swimming around my body with such power I hasn’t realized the wooden door opened, my head swam with so many thoughts and memories that I was clearly unaware my head rested of a soft shoulder, head barred in the crook of a shorter boy. The smell of vanilla and cheap cologne caused my eyes to water even more.

I was aware of the slight burning sensation, but in that very moment I didn’t care. Soft hands wrapped around my waste, pulling me closer into the soft small framed body. The heat began to increases in my body as the soft hands caressed my back, slowly moving back and forward in a claming motion, only it didn’t calm me. It was only causing more and more friction causing the burning to increase until my entire back was inflamed. My heart rate increased as I began to struggle, the arms wrapped around me held my tighter as a soft “shh” was heard as the person’s arms rubbed away at my skin, unaware it was causing me more pain. “G-Get away” my voice crocked as I pushed with all my strength, breaking free from the contact.

My body was pushed up against the back wall, I felt two pairs of eyes burning as I stood, lunched up against the wall trying my hardest to calm my breathing.

What the fuck just happened?!

An awkward silent overcame us as my breathing slowly calmed, I felt his presence as he began to walk towards me. “Gerard?” he cooed, his voice soft and innocent as I lifted my head only to be meet with his two hazel ones, they glinted with pain and sadness as shades of green and brown blended into one. “What do you want?!” I snapped, a little harsher than intended.

Frank’s eyes flashed with hurt as I he took a step backwards, his eyes sharpened as his soft face feel into its typical hard glare. “I should be asking you the same thing.”

“Fuck you.”

I regretted those two words as the left my very lips. His eyes widened slightly as he shook his head in dismissal. “Your asking me to fuck off?” He snorted loudly, “funny isn’t it Gerard.. that your standing outside my door, and your asking me to ‘fuck off’”

My hands began to sweat under his skeptical gaze, he awaited my reply but smirked suddenly as I shuffled nervously. “You never answered my question, what do you want? W-Why did you hug me?” my voice was low as I fiddled with the small plastic bag.

Frank remained silent, deep in thought until a final harsh laugh escaped his broken and cut lips. “Well Gee-tard.” He smirked evilly as I flinched from the old nickname given to me by the very blue eyed bully who tortured me thought high school. “I was wondering where that rather loud and pathetic sobbing was coming from, so I went to open my door to find none other than Gerard Way.”

“B-But..”

“But what Gerard?”

“W-Why did you hug me?”

His lips curved into the same devilish smile. “To shut you up faggot.”

If there was a time I wanted to bitch slap this fucker, it would have been now. Those very words were an exact reminded to why I had to destroy him. And here I was only moment ago, pitying him.

My thumb ran over the soft plastic one final time, I made to rattle it, catching his attention. I watched as his eyes slowly traveled down my torso until it finally landed on my left hand. I shook the bag slightly causing it to sway.

Frank Iero’s eyes widened, and there I stood first hand watching as his wide eyes grew smaller and smaller. I witnessed first hand the destruction that simple action caused, as his eyes were small and childlike. They began to glitter with the glaze of forming tears.

He was breaking.
And I was the one breaking him.

You did it. You finally broke him.

“No. no, no. no, no!” he repeated as he slowly backed away slightly.

“Yes Frankie, yes.” Our eyes met as the tears slowly drizzled down his soft cheeks. “Y-You didn’t!” he voice chocked as I held the plastic bag eyelevel, mockingly shaking it side to side. “Paybacks a real bitch isn’t it.” The softness and hardness of my voice startled me as I nibbled my lip. “Now you know what it fucking feels to have something special ripped away from you Frank. You now know how I feel, how I’ve always felt.” Tears were falling down my cheeks as I ripped the small bag apart. Ash scattered as I poured the remains into my palm.

“D-Don’t!”

I smiled sadly as he small body fell to the floor, he huddled into a small ball, crying harshly as I watched him.

With one final breath, I blew.
The ashes formed a black cloud as the scattered and fluttered the hospital ground, my entire body was still and lifeless, as it seemed black rain feel upon us. Franks sobs grew louder as he watched the small black particles fall.

Broken and destroyed.

“Rule number 4 Frank, treat those how they have treaded you.”

His entire body was shaking as he ran his fingertips across the sky blue floor. The black ash seemed out of place, as we were surrounded by lively and bright colors. The hallway was dark and silent as most patents feel into slumber, but there I stood, destroyed a life and watching at the young boy cried.

Pride .Accomplishment. Who ever had suggested that they were the greatest feelings in the world, was a complete and utter liar. Because here I stood, and I truthfully didn’t feel any sense of pride whatsoever. As a matter of fact I felt worse that I did before, I have taken my revenge but gained what?

..Nothing.

“Yo-You don’t fucking u-understand do you?!” Frank yelped. The sudden rise in pitch caused me to jump slightly. “E-Everything I fucking did to y-you Gerard, I was h-helping you!”

My jaw dropped as Frank lifted himself of the ash covered floor. “I was fucking helping y-you!” he spat.

“Liar.” My voice low and haunting as the rage began to overpower me. “Liar!” I repeated venomlessly. My chest rose and feel heavily as Frank shook his head. “You destroyed everything I fucking loved, you told my brother I hated him, you made the only family I had turn its back on me, because of you Frank Iero I’m stuck here! Because of you!” I screamed.

“I was helping y-“

“Don’t start on that helping me shit Frank! Your punishing me for your fucking fathers death! You seem to be taking out all our pain on me because he died. Well I got some news for you Frank fucking Iero, cancer killed him, not me!”

In a blink of an eye, Franks entire body was pushed up against me. Once soft fingers wrapped around my neck. Face close enough to kiss as he stared me straight in the eye. “Don’t you fucking dare speak of my father again.” He warned, tears falling down his face as my entire body began to tremble, the burning was sensation was growing. “Cancer killed my father Gerard not you. But you know what Gerard, your fucking kill me.”

He pushed of me, watching as I fell to the floor, I cribbed my neck, breathing heavily.

“Read between the lines Gerard. No everything is what it seems.” He turned his back on me and began to depart down the hall.

“Wh-Why!?” I coughed, my voice felt raw and sore as I called after him.

His walking slowly came to a stop. “Why do you think Gerard?”

The tears were coming once more. “I d-don’t know..” I chocked.

Frank’s back remained facing me as a sot sight escaped his lips. “Do you remember that day, when we held you up against the locker and were calling you names? Do y-you remember when you ran away, and I ran after you.. do you?”

“Y-Yes.” My voice crocked.

“Do you know why I hit you Gerard?”

I shook my head as I sniffed loudly. “No..”

Franks body slowly came to face mine, and in the dim light our eyes met. “I hit you, because I didn’t want them to hurt you.”

Franks small lips formed into a small smile as I stared at him bedazzled.

“Your mine Gerard, and I intend on keeping you.”

The young boy walked toward Gerard. The elder boy sat shaken on the floor as Frank Iero crouched forward, limiting the space. He smiled darkly as he ran his finger through Gerard’s dark locks, his ran his tongue across his lower lip causing the elder boy to shiver as Frank eyed him with an unreadable expression. “You’re my fucking obsession Gerard” he whispered, his warm breath blowing down Gerard neck causing him to stiffen. .”.and if anyone is going to hurt you.. its going to be me” and with those final words Frank Iero eyed Gerard with hatred. “I fucking hate you.” He spat as he crashed there lips together in a passionate kiss.

Gerards entire body stiffened, until he found a sudden tingle of emotions flow throughout his body, a feeling of pure bliss, and then without expectation he pushed his now burning lips against Frank Iero’s with such force it surprised him. His entire face began to grow hot as the feeling of pain and heat began to hurt him, Gerard pulled away causing a harsh laugh to escape Franks lips.

Gerards cheeks turned crimson as sudden realization of what he had done came crashing down upon him. His stomach turned as he wrapped his arms around his small frame he was going to throw up.

Frank’s fingertips ran across Gerards jaw causing his head to jolt upwards, and there he was met with two emeralds green eyes. He’s breathing stopped, as he was met with an unexpected emotion.

Anger.

“Fucking you.” He spat, gripping Gerards cheek with such force it caused him to yelp in pain. Frank slammed Gerard head into the paper white wall behind him, causing the elder boy to cry out in pain. With that single action, Frank Iero stood, looking down upon the boy who began to sob. “Fucking faggot.” Frank spat as he turned his back on Gerard and began to walk off into the dark hallway.

Gerard watched, until the boys form was complete consumed by darkness.

And like so many times before, Gerard ways left alone. Those who loves him, or even noticed his existence walked away.

And all he could do was watch.

Watch as his life passed him by.


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GUESS WHOS BACK?
NANANANANANAN!
BACK AGAIN?
NANANANNANANAN’


LOLS.

Sorry, got a tad over exited there, HAHAHA. ALSOO.. GUESS WHAT?
I’M ON HOLIDAYS!!!!!
FUCK YEAAAHH!!!

DANCES


SSSSOOOOOO ANYWHO. I hope you liked this chapter smirks
A little bit of fre-
OH MY GOD.
THEY KI8SSED
?!?!?!

..
Yes children.. yes they did. :)

REVIEWS. & just wanted to say, its good to be back hugs you all
ROFL.. it wasnt even a week.. like.. 5 days?
I DUNNO
but ILY ALL.

xo