Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > You’re My Phobia
PLEASE READ:
I figured alot of people don’t know when I’ve updated. The whole “CHAPTER 13 UP” doesn’t do to much, so I’ve come up with a genius plan. MWAHHA.
I’ve created an email.
yourmyphobia@hotmail.com
So if you guys like, email me with the subject “Add me” and I’ll add you to a mailing list and send out a “UPDATED” email with a link to the chapter the very second I update on FicWad, so you don’t have to keep coming and looking.
HOWS THAT?! =D
Also, if you guys have a question, or you don’t get anything, feel free to send me a comment/question with the subject “General.”
ALRIGHT?
Wwoooott!
~~
Chapter Thirteen: Realization
Song: Linkin Park – Leave Out All The Rest
12:30pm 12:31pm 12:32pm
The time seemed to fly past with mocking laughter as I sat slouched up against the wall completely beaten down to nothing more than crumbs, little bits of confetti lost and abandoned. Even the golden letters that were bolted onto the wooden door for all eternality in front of me even seemed to express an unnatural glow as they stood high above, like an almighty god, a King even looking down upon the peasant as nothing more than a street rat, a bit of rubbish thrown carelessly onto the worn lifeless concrete, allowing those who wish to walk all over you, not even a second glance, not even a second thought as there very heals stab your heart until there was nothing left.
Because you’re not worth it. You’re not worth a simple glance, your name is a waste of breath if they dare to even speak it, IF they dare. But who would? All you are is trash, and that’s all you’ll ever be, that is until you are completely empty, hollow even. Until the very emotion of pain in nonexistent, until happiness was nothing but a fantasy, a dream if you will. A dream in witch you want to accomplish, but deep down you know you cannot.
It is a dream, nothing more.
If I wasn’t so ignorant, so stupid I would have seen it coming. There is always someone sent to warn you, to teach you that, that so called “happily ever after” doesn’t exist. It is complete bullshit, but of course I had to learn the hard way. Take it from me kids, everything ends in tragedy, that’s life for you. It isn’t fare, and it never will be. That was always how it had been, the way the world ran. It look pain and used it against everyone, innocent and guilt. It didn’t care, all it cared about was war and destruction.
He had caused destruction in my petty little life, he has burnt me physically and mentally and worst of all he had watched me fall, he watched me crumbled, and he didn’t do a damn fucking thing about it. Just like in High School, he watched them hurt me, kick me, punch me, but he stood quiet.
Funny isn’t it, how someone so loud and so cruel, could say so little, be so weak. And isn’t it even more hilarious that the one person you hate mostly soon becomes the center of you life. They take control of your mind, there all you ever think about. Sometimes you even completely loose track of reality as you sit, hidden away, plotting there very deaths.
You can taste there blood.
You can smell there fear, there sweat.
And you like it.
..The boy from my nightmares.
..The boy from my past.
The very boy I want to destroy, but I cant. And that startles me, it makes me shiver with fright, because I do not know why. Why can’t I destroy him?
WHY?!
The empty hallways flowed with the haunting deadly silence. The cold floor’s even seemed to grow colder as I wrapped my hand around my fragile body. I wasn’t going to get up, because I new for a fact I couldn’t. I was too weak, to scared to even move.
Frank’s back remained facing me as a soft sight escaped his lips. “Do you remember that day, when we held you up against the locker and were calling you names? Do y-you remember when you ran away, and I ran after you.. do you?”
“Y-Yes.” My voice crocked.
“Do you know why I hit you Gerard?”
I shook my head as I sniffed loudly. “No..”
Franks body slowly came to face mine, and in the dim light our eyes met. “I hit you, because I didn’t want them to hurt you.”
Franks small lips formed into a small smile as I stared at him bedazzled.
“Your mine Gerard, and I intend on keeping you.”
Those words caused me extreme discomfort. But they made sense, complete and utter sense. I was his, he owned me, and he had made that decision long ago. I was his from day one, I was his little rag doll. He could hit me, throw be against the wall if he liked, but he didn’t.
Not until now.
“Yo-You don’t fucking u-understand do you?!” Frank yelped. The sudden rise in pitch caused me to jump slightly. “E-Everything I fucking did to y-you Gerard, I was h-helping you!”
My jaw dropped as Frank lifted himself of the ash covered floor. “I was fucking helping y-you!” he spat.
“Liar.” My voice low and haunting as the rage began to overpower me. “Liar!” I repeated venomlessly. My chest rose and feel heavily as Frank shook his head. “You destroyed everything I fucking loved, you told my brother I hated him, you made the only family I had turn its back on me, because of you Frank Iero I’m stuck here! Because of you!” I screamed.
“I was helping y-“
“Don’t start on that helping me shit Frank! Your punishing me for your fucking fathers death! You seem to be taking out all our pain on me because he died. Well I got some news for you Frank fucking Iero, cancer killed him, not me!”
In a blink of an eye, Franks entire body was pushed up against me. Once soft fingers wrapped around my neck. Face close enough to kiss as he stared me straight in the eye. “Don’t you fucking dare speak of my father again.” He warned, tears falling down his face as my entire body began to tremble, the burning sensation was growing. “Cancer killed my father Gerard not you. But you know what Gerard, your fucking kill me.”
I had come to conclusion long ago that Frank was indeed helping me. As crude and painful he lessons may have been he was teaching me lessons nonetheless. Giving me advise, but It still caused my thoughts to wonder as his words rang over and over, reaping themselves as I was brought deep in thought. “E-Everything I fucking did to y-you Gerard, I was h-helping you!”
How could he say that? He wasn’t helping me, he wa-
With a swift blink of an eye it all came crashing down upon the 17 year old boy as his jaw dropped in realisation. Gerard was devastated, hurt, upset but most of all, he felt stupid. The young boy had been blinded by his hate that he had missed the obvious clues.
From day 1 it had been there, but he was to naive to realise it.
“Saaiinnttsss proteccttt heeerrrr nooowww.. Commmeeee…”The boy took a harsh breath of hair, as if holding back a sob, then continued to sing. “angeellssss of the looorrrddd..” He paused once more, a harsh sob escaped his lips causing me to shut my eyes as he began to sing.. “Commmeee…angels, of.. the unnkknnoowwnn..”
Could it be that he had written that song about me?
The young boys breath began to become rigid as the information began to poor in, he was too weak to take in such information but it had become unstoppable because he had made sense of it. It was so obvious, but he had never realised it, he had never actually take the time to sit down and think about it, put 1 and 1 together.
But now he had.
The information raced into his tired and un-rested mind as he made sense of the song, the reason it had effect him so was because it was about it. “Come angels of the lord, come angels of the unknown.”
Frank Iero was the reason I had Aphephobia.
Frank Iero was the reason I lost trust in humans.
Frank Iero was the reason I could never hug Mikey.
Frank Iero was the reason I was so alone.
Frank Iero was also the person who was trying to fixing Gerard, no matter how blind the young boy has been. He had been breaking him.. For one reason, and one reason only.
To fix him. To rebuild him. To teach Gerard that everything he loved was precious, and it could turn to ash so quickly, in the flash of an eye. He was showing, teaching the younger boy that you have to work for things, nothing is given to you..
He had learn that the hard way.
Unknown emotions began to overpower the boy as he looked towards Frank Iero’s door, he’s eyes wide with fear as things began to fall together. He new there was more to the story but he payed no attention as the distance sound of feet tapping against the cold floor caught his attention.
The hallway began to feel intoxicating as the foot steps grew close and closer. Everything seemed to slow right down as Gerard hid his face deep within his lap as he held himself closely.
He couldn’t face Frank, not now.. not ever.
He had tried to help me, and all I had done was push him away..
Maybe that was the reason he would go from happy to upset to angry.
Maybe just maybe..
Gerard held himself closer, shivering as the footsteps neared, and finally stooped. He could feel the large silhouette of the person above him, two eyes glaring into his small body as he began to weep softly.
He waited for the hit. A yell even, but it didn’t come.
“Gerard..” the soft voice whispered.
Gerard’s head shot up, and there he was met with two tired brown eyes. They weren’t the eyes of Frank iero, but the elderly nurse looking down upon him quite puzzled. “What are you doing?” she asked softly as she kneaded down, “why are crying honey?”
Gerard shook his head as he shuffled away from her. “D-Don’t t-touch m-me p-please.” He whispered as his entire body still ached from the impact of force Frank has used.
“Okay sweetie, I wont alright? But you’ve got to get up, can you walk?”
The tired boy shook his head, his world began to spin as he faintly heard the nurse call for a wheelchair to be brought. He payed no attention to the large figure’s quickly pulling him into the chair, ignoring the small “Sorry kid” as they quickly touched his hands and arms.
It burnt, but Gerard Way ignored the pain as he continued to thank about Frank Iero. He was wrong to yell at him, to talk to him in such ways when in actual fact he was trying to help.
As weird as it had seemed Gerard still felt a prickly of hate towards the boy. Why did he bother? Why was he wasting him time trying to help him, when he could spend his time getting better and leaving this shithole of a place.
Why?
There seemed to be thousands on unanswered questions, but they soon diminished as a crush of florescent light stung Gerard’s eyes. He payed no attention to the few people who looked at him and grinned in pity.
“Sorry darl.” He heard the nurse whisper as his head feel to the side and there he sat, tissue crumbled and clenched in his hand as the male nurse sat next to him, hushing him to stop as Frank sobbed. The night sky wide and dark behind him as he whipped his tears away, “please leave me” his voice crocked as the male nurse slowly nodded and leaving the boy in peace.
Gerard slowly grew more and more distant as the nurse slowly pushed him towards another large hallway.
An unfamiliar feeling overcame the boy as Frank slightly lifted his head, there eyes meet. Gerard tired and sore, Frank hurt and broken, and for a split second there was a connection Gerard couldn’t quiet explain.
Two broken souls are equivalent to two broken hearts..
And what do two broken hearts equal?
One whole broken heart..
It never mattered they were both broken..
All that matter was that they were whole again..
And that’s when it all came crashing down.
I hated this boy.
I hated his talent.
I hated his voice.
And worst of all, I wanted this boy to know I hated him.
I wanted to cause him pain, I wanted to rip him apart, just like he had ripped my soul apart with that simple breathtaking song.
I fucking hated him.
And I was going to be the one to destroy him.
To bring him down, and then.. lift him up once more, bruised and shattered.
But why did I hate him?
“..Because I was destroyed and broken..”
Wrong.
Completely wrong.
Gerard Author Way didn’t want to destroy Frank because he simple hated him, Gerard Author Way wanted to destroy Frank because he felt something he had never experienced before..
Like.
Gerard liked Frank Iero, and because of that he wanted to kill him. He hated him just as much as he liked him.
A brutal romance.
A perfect romance.
A intoxicating romance.
A beautiful romance..
A innocent romance..
A Chemical Romance.
Two substances mixed together to create something unique, something different.
That’s what Frank and Gerard were, nothing more than substances mixed together to create something new, something perfect even.
To fix.
To create.
..To destroy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
=D
MWAHAAHAH, did you guys like it? :D
doesnt it make a whole lotta sense now? LOL
..isn it just falling togther nice and easy? MWAHAHSAHAH
hey.. guess what? -whispers: ..freard's gonna start pretttyyy ssooon-
so come onnn guyyysss! review, review!
tell me honestly what you think of this story, dont be scared to write some huge ass comment, i dont mind. i read ever single one =D
CYYAAA. xox
(Special Note For My OFFTAGGOTT! You know who you are –
I hope you get to read this dude. =D
I also hope you having a great time at your Dad’s. I just wanted to tell you this chapter was inspired and dedicated to you, I don’t think I need to write it at the top any longer because I’m pretty sure you know. I also want to tell you.. I found that little ‘spark’ I lost. It was right in front of me the whole time, ahah. So I’m glad I got it back. ily dude. keep smiling mofo {} miss ya heaps )
I figured alot of people don’t know when I’ve updated. The whole “CHAPTER 13 UP” doesn’t do to much, so I’ve come up with a genius plan. MWAHHA.
I’ve created an email.
yourmyphobia@hotmail.com
So if you guys like, email me with the subject “Add me” and I’ll add you to a mailing list and send out a “UPDATED” email with a link to the chapter the very second I update on FicWad, so you don’t have to keep coming and looking.
HOWS THAT?! =D
Also, if you guys have a question, or you don’t get anything, feel free to send me a comment/question with the subject “General.”
ALRIGHT?
Wwoooott!
~~
Chapter Thirteen: Realization
Song: Linkin Park – Leave Out All The Rest
12:30pm 12:31pm 12:32pm
The time seemed to fly past with mocking laughter as I sat slouched up against the wall completely beaten down to nothing more than crumbs, little bits of confetti lost and abandoned. Even the golden letters that were bolted onto the wooden door for all eternality in front of me even seemed to express an unnatural glow as they stood high above, like an almighty god, a King even looking down upon the peasant as nothing more than a street rat, a bit of rubbish thrown carelessly onto the worn lifeless concrete, allowing those who wish to walk all over you, not even a second glance, not even a second thought as there very heals stab your heart until there was nothing left.
Because you’re not worth it. You’re not worth a simple glance, your name is a waste of breath if they dare to even speak it, IF they dare. But who would? All you are is trash, and that’s all you’ll ever be, that is until you are completely empty, hollow even. Until the very emotion of pain in nonexistent, until happiness was nothing but a fantasy, a dream if you will. A dream in witch you want to accomplish, but deep down you know you cannot.
It is a dream, nothing more.
If I wasn’t so ignorant, so stupid I would have seen it coming. There is always someone sent to warn you, to teach you that, that so called “happily ever after” doesn’t exist. It is complete bullshit, but of course I had to learn the hard way. Take it from me kids, everything ends in tragedy, that’s life for you. It isn’t fare, and it never will be. That was always how it had been, the way the world ran. It look pain and used it against everyone, innocent and guilt. It didn’t care, all it cared about was war and destruction.
He had caused destruction in my petty little life, he has burnt me physically and mentally and worst of all he had watched me fall, he watched me crumbled, and he didn’t do a damn fucking thing about it. Just like in High School, he watched them hurt me, kick me, punch me, but he stood quiet.
Funny isn’t it, how someone so loud and so cruel, could say so little, be so weak. And isn’t it even more hilarious that the one person you hate mostly soon becomes the center of you life. They take control of your mind, there all you ever think about. Sometimes you even completely loose track of reality as you sit, hidden away, plotting there very deaths.
You can taste there blood.
You can smell there fear, there sweat.
And you like it.
..The boy from my nightmares.
..The boy from my past.
The very boy I want to destroy, but I cant. And that startles me, it makes me shiver with fright, because I do not know why. Why can’t I destroy him?
WHY?!
The empty hallways flowed with the haunting deadly silence. The cold floor’s even seemed to grow colder as I wrapped my hand around my fragile body. I wasn’t going to get up, because I new for a fact I couldn’t. I was too weak, to scared to even move.
Frank’s back remained facing me as a soft sight escaped his lips. “Do you remember that day, when we held you up against the locker and were calling you names? Do y-you remember when you ran away, and I ran after you.. do you?”
“Y-Yes.” My voice crocked.
“Do you know why I hit you Gerard?”
I shook my head as I sniffed loudly. “No..”
Franks body slowly came to face mine, and in the dim light our eyes met. “I hit you, because I didn’t want them to hurt you.”
Franks small lips formed into a small smile as I stared at him bedazzled.
“Your mine Gerard, and I intend on keeping you.”
Those words caused me extreme discomfort. But they made sense, complete and utter sense. I was his, he owned me, and he had made that decision long ago. I was his from day one, I was his little rag doll. He could hit me, throw be against the wall if he liked, but he didn’t.
Not until now.
“Yo-You don’t fucking u-understand do you?!” Frank yelped. The sudden rise in pitch caused me to jump slightly. “E-Everything I fucking did to y-you Gerard, I was h-helping you!”
My jaw dropped as Frank lifted himself of the ash covered floor. “I was fucking helping y-you!” he spat.
“Liar.” My voice low and haunting as the rage began to overpower me. “Liar!” I repeated venomlessly. My chest rose and feel heavily as Frank shook his head. “You destroyed everything I fucking loved, you told my brother I hated him, you made the only family I had turn its back on me, because of you Frank Iero I’m stuck here! Because of you!” I screamed.
“I was helping y-“
“Don’t start on that helping me shit Frank! Your punishing me for your fucking fathers death! You seem to be taking out all our pain on me because he died. Well I got some news for you Frank fucking Iero, cancer killed him, not me!”
In a blink of an eye, Franks entire body was pushed up against me. Once soft fingers wrapped around my neck. Face close enough to kiss as he stared me straight in the eye. “Don’t you fucking dare speak of my father again.” He warned, tears falling down his face as my entire body began to tremble, the burning sensation was growing. “Cancer killed my father Gerard not you. But you know what Gerard, your fucking kill me.”
I had come to conclusion long ago that Frank was indeed helping me. As crude and painful he lessons may have been he was teaching me lessons nonetheless. Giving me advise, but It still caused my thoughts to wonder as his words rang over and over, reaping themselves as I was brought deep in thought. “E-Everything I fucking did to y-you Gerard, I was h-helping you!”
How could he say that? He wasn’t helping me, he wa-
With a swift blink of an eye it all came crashing down upon the 17 year old boy as his jaw dropped in realisation. Gerard was devastated, hurt, upset but most of all, he felt stupid. The young boy had been blinded by his hate that he had missed the obvious clues.
From day 1 it had been there, but he was to naive to realise it.
“Saaiinnttsss proteccttt heeerrrr nooowww.. Commmeeee…”The boy took a harsh breath of hair, as if holding back a sob, then continued to sing. “angeellssss of the looorrrddd..” He paused once more, a harsh sob escaped his lips causing me to shut my eyes as he began to sing.. “Commmeee…angels, of.. the unnkknnoowwnn..”
Could it be that he had written that song about me?
The young boys breath began to become rigid as the information began to poor in, he was too weak to take in such information but it had become unstoppable because he had made sense of it. It was so obvious, but he had never realised it, he had never actually take the time to sit down and think about it, put 1 and 1 together.
But now he had.
The information raced into his tired and un-rested mind as he made sense of the song, the reason it had effect him so was because it was about it. “Come angels of the lord, come angels of the unknown.”
Frank Iero was the reason I had Aphephobia.
Frank Iero was the reason I lost trust in humans.
Frank Iero was the reason I could never hug Mikey.
Frank Iero was the reason I was so alone.
Frank Iero was also the person who was trying to fixing Gerard, no matter how blind the young boy has been. He had been breaking him.. For one reason, and one reason only.
To fix him. To rebuild him. To teach Gerard that everything he loved was precious, and it could turn to ash so quickly, in the flash of an eye. He was showing, teaching the younger boy that you have to work for things, nothing is given to you..
He had learn that the hard way.
Unknown emotions began to overpower the boy as he looked towards Frank Iero’s door, he’s eyes wide with fear as things began to fall together. He new there was more to the story but he payed no attention as the distance sound of feet tapping against the cold floor caught his attention.
The hallway began to feel intoxicating as the foot steps grew close and closer. Everything seemed to slow right down as Gerard hid his face deep within his lap as he held himself closely.
He couldn’t face Frank, not now.. not ever.
He had tried to help me, and all I had done was push him away..
Maybe that was the reason he would go from happy to upset to angry.
Maybe just maybe..
Gerard held himself closer, shivering as the footsteps neared, and finally stooped. He could feel the large silhouette of the person above him, two eyes glaring into his small body as he began to weep softly.
He waited for the hit. A yell even, but it didn’t come.
“Gerard..” the soft voice whispered.
Gerard’s head shot up, and there he was met with two tired brown eyes. They weren’t the eyes of Frank iero, but the elderly nurse looking down upon him quite puzzled. “What are you doing?” she asked softly as she kneaded down, “why are crying honey?”
Gerard shook his head as he shuffled away from her. “D-Don’t t-touch m-me p-please.” He whispered as his entire body still ached from the impact of force Frank has used.
“Okay sweetie, I wont alright? But you’ve got to get up, can you walk?”
The tired boy shook his head, his world began to spin as he faintly heard the nurse call for a wheelchair to be brought. He payed no attention to the large figure’s quickly pulling him into the chair, ignoring the small “Sorry kid” as they quickly touched his hands and arms.
It burnt, but Gerard Way ignored the pain as he continued to thank about Frank Iero. He was wrong to yell at him, to talk to him in such ways when in actual fact he was trying to help.
As weird as it had seemed Gerard still felt a prickly of hate towards the boy. Why did he bother? Why was he wasting him time trying to help him, when he could spend his time getting better and leaving this shithole of a place.
Why?
There seemed to be thousands on unanswered questions, but they soon diminished as a crush of florescent light stung Gerard’s eyes. He payed no attention to the few people who looked at him and grinned in pity.
“Sorry darl.” He heard the nurse whisper as his head feel to the side and there he sat, tissue crumbled and clenched in his hand as the male nurse sat next to him, hushing him to stop as Frank sobbed. The night sky wide and dark behind him as he whipped his tears away, “please leave me” his voice crocked as the male nurse slowly nodded and leaving the boy in peace.
Gerard slowly grew more and more distant as the nurse slowly pushed him towards another large hallway.
An unfamiliar feeling overcame the boy as Frank slightly lifted his head, there eyes meet. Gerard tired and sore, Frank hurt and broken, and for a split second there was a connection Gerard couldn’t quiet explain.
Two broken souls are equivalent to two broken hearts..
And what do two broken hearts equal?
One whole broken heart..
It never mattered they were both broken..
All that matter was that they were whole again..
And that’s when it all came crashing down.
I hated this boy.
I hated his talent.
I hated his voice.
And worst of all, I wanted this boy to know I hated him.
I wanted to cause him pain, I wanted to rip him apart, just like he had ripped my soul apart with that simple breathtaking song.
I fucking hated him.
And I was going to be the one to destroy him.
To bring him down, and then.. lift him up once more, bruised and shattered.
But why did I hate him?
“..Because I was destroyed and broken..”
Wrong.
Completely wrong.
Gerard Author Way didn’t want to destroy Frank because he simple hated him, Gerard Author Way wanted to destroy Frank because he felt something he had never experienced before..
Like.
Gerard liked Frank Iero, and because of that he wanted to kill him. He hated him just as much as he liked him.
A brutal romance.
A perfect romance.
A intoxicating romance.
A beautiful romance..
A innocent romance..
A Chemical Romance.
Two substances mixed together to create something unique, something different.
That’s what Frank and Gerard were, nothing more than substances mixed together to create something new, something perfect even.
To fix.
To create.
..To destroy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
=D
MWAHAAHAH, did you guys like it? :D
doesnt it make a whole lotta sense now? LOL
..isn it just falling togther nice and easy? MWAHAHSAHAH
hey.. guess what? -whispers: ..freard's gonna start pretttyyy ssooon-
so come onnn guyyysss! review, review!
tell me honestly what you think of this story, dont be scared to write some huge ass comment, i dont mind. i read ever single one =D
CYYAAA. xox
(Special Note For My OFFTAGGOTT! You know who you are –
I hope you get to read this dude. =D
I also hope you having a great time at your Dad’s. I just wanted to tell you this chapter was inspired and dedicated to you, I don’t think I need to write it at the top any longer because I’m pretty sure you know. I also want to tell you.. I found that little ‘spark’ I lost. It was right in front of me the whole time, ahah. So I’m glad I got it back. ily dude. keep smiling mofo {} miss ya heaps )
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