Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Harry Potter And The Deathly Silence


by sammywrae 0 reviews

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor,Parody - Characters: Harry,Hermione,Voldemort - Published: 2008-07-02 - Updated: 2008-07-02 - 645 words - Complete


"So, let me see if I understand this" Dumbledore was pacing back and forth, while Harry, Sally and Hermione sat in front of his desk "You had nothing to do today, so you decided to invite Voldemort to play quiiditch in my school"

"Yes sir"

"Without asking me first"

"Yes sir"

"And you think this is a good idea?"

"Yes sir" Harry smiled "But I also have another favour to ask"

"Do tell"

"I would like The Sorting Hat to commentate on the match" Harry smirked at the surprised look on the Headmaster's face.

"The Sorting Hat?"

"Yes sir" All four of them turned and stared up to where The Hat was sat "What do you say?"

"By all means, Mr Potter. I would be honoured to commentate on your match"

"Thank you" Harry stood up, and slowly lifted The Hat down.

"Harry" He turned to see the Headmaster staring at him.

"Yes sir?"

"Have you really thought this through?"

"Of course he has" Sally smirked "The Hat couldn't possibly be the referee because it would fall off the broom" With that, she stood up, and the three students left the office, leaving a truly confused Dumbledore behind them.



"HARRY POTTER!!" Professor McGonagall stormed down the path towards where the three students were heading back to the quidditch pitch.

"Yes Professor?"

"What in Merlin's name do you think you are doing!? Bringing Voldemort here!! With CHEERLEADING TROLLS!!!"

"We are going to have a nice, quiet game of quidditch with him" Harry replied, then added "And I didn't know about the cheerleading trolls"

"You are going to play QUIDDITCH with him?" She yelled again "Are you bloody serious?"

"Of course not Professor!" A voice from behind the professor replied. She turned, then screamed in surprise. Harry's godfather was stood there, dripping in what appeared to be in human blood "He's not bloody serious. I am" McGonagall took one look at him, then turned and stormed off, muttering under her breath. The three students watched her go, then turned back to where Sirius was stood. They stared at him for a moment, then he held up a bottle of ketchup "Do you know how long I have been waiting to do that joke?"



"Harry - meet Mary-Sue Cadwallader" Arthur Weasley said "Despite my misgivings about all this, I think that she would make a perfect referee for your game"

"Miss Cadwallader" Harry nodded.

"You look so much like your father" She smiled, then added "But you have your mother's eyes" Harry stared at her for a moment, then turned to Sally.

"If one more person says that" Harry whispered "I think I am going to snap"

"Well - I have an idea" She smiled back, then - when he looked at her worriedly - she grinned "Trust me"



Harry looked out at the assembled crowd, and started to get worried about addressing them.

"Hello Harry" Remus Lupin said, coming up behind him "Feeling a little nervous?"

"Just a little"

"My mother told me that, if you are nervous, you should picture the audience, or crowd in this case, in their underwear"

Harry's mind flashed through images of Ginny, Sally, Hermione and Luna in their underwear. Then his mind jumped to images of Hagrid, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Snape and Trelawney in their underwear.

"Maybe not" He replied.



"What's your team name?" Harry asked suddenly. He and Voldemort were stood at the entrance to the quidditch pitch.


"Well - we can't call you Voldemort and the Death Eaters. It sounds like a thrash metal band who play Metallica covers"

"Oh" Voldemort frowned "The Dark Marks"


"Yes" He paused "What about you?"

"Well - we were thinking The Army Of Light, but when I suggested that, Sally smacked me across the head"

"So - what did you end up chosing?"
Sign up to rate and review this story