Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Harry Potter And The Deathly Silence

3pm

by sammywrae 0 reviews

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor,Parody - Characters: Harry,Hermione,Voldemort - Published: 2008-07-02 - Updated: 2008-07-02 - 737 words - Complete

0Unrated
3pm

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Teachers and Students, Hogwartians and Guests, Trolls and Trollesses and... well - everyone else. Welcome to the NDHD quidditch match, featuring the ultimate battle - good vs evil, light vs dark, coke vs pepsi... no wait. Scratch that last one" Harry looked around "Now - I could waffle on and tell you all about what is going on, but you didn't come here to listen to me, did you"

"NO!!" The crowd bellowed back.

"That's right. So without further ado, I give you your match commentator, The Voice Of Hogwarts and the master of all your destinies, please give it up for The Sorting Hat!"

"THANK YOU" The Hat's voice belted out through the stadium as nearly everyone applauded it "And now, to get us underway - may I present the teams. First up, The Dark Marks. At keeper, Janus Mulciber" There was some scattered applause from the death eater half of the pitch "

At beaters, two alumni from the Slytherin team of old, now followed in that tradition by their sons, Messers Crabbe and Goyle" More applause, this time including some of the students from Slytherin

"At chaser, we have Andreas Nott, Antonin Dolohov and our former Head Boy, Mister Lucius Malfoy" A burst of applause was accompanied by a burst of laughter, causing Malfoy to flush red

"And finally, another former Head Boy, and the student voted most likely to turn evil, lead an army of darkness, be vanquished by a one year old kid, then return thirteen years later to get his revenge, at seeker and captain, the one, the only, Lord Voldemort!"

Voldemort flew on to the pitch in a spectacular loop, then suddenly stood up on his broom, did a back flip and sat back down.

"And now, on the opposing team, at Keeper, the man with the big heart and the even bigger body, Rubeus Hagrid" There was a loud burst of applause from the "light-end" of the pitch

"At beaters, the two most famous students of recent times, the twin terror of the teachers, Messers George and Fred Weasley!" All the members of The Weasley family in the stands jumped to their feet in applause, while the darker end of the pitch gave a few half-hearted boos

"Coming in at Chasers, we have an up and coming young star, Miss Ginevra Weasley" There was a loud shout of "THAT'S GINNY YOU INCOMPETENT PIECE OF HABERDASHERY", which provoked a lot of laughter, but The Hat ignored her, and continued "We also have the girl sometimes called Loony, sometimes called Crazy and sometimes called Jennifer, the one and only Miss Luna Lovegood" Pausing to let the applause die down, The Hat finished off "And finally the last remaining Marauder..."

"What about me?" Remus yelled.

"One of the two remaining Marauders..."

"I am right here you know" Peter Pettigrew yelled from the other end of the pitch.

"If you two don't stop yelling I am pulling this stadium over right now" The Hat yelled "Are you both done?"

"Yes"

"Good, then - if I may continue?" There was a moment of silence "As I was saying... One of the Infamous Marauders, who nearly pranked the teachers to death during their seven year reign of terror, but also made a very good barbershop quartet, I give you Mister Sirius. Lee. Black" There was a huge amount of applause, accompanied by a lot of laughter as Sirius flew on to the pitch, glaring at The Hat for using his middle name.

"And finally, at seeker and captain, the child of one of the most famous seekers in Hogwarts history, and one of the people who made all this possible, I give you..." The Hat paused, sensing the tension in the stadium "Miss Sally-Ann Perks!!"

"What?" Voldemort yelled, and stared over at Harry.

"And finally, at seeker and captain, the child of one of the most famous seekers in Hogwarts history, and one of the people who made all this possible, I give you Miss Sally-Ann Perks!!" The Hat repeated.

"What?" Voldemort yelled again, still staring at Harry.

"And finally, at seeker and captain, the child of one of the most famous seekers in Hogwarts history, and one of the people who made all this possible, I give you Miss Sally-Ann Perks!!" The Hat repeated again, then added "Would you like me to put it on a t-shirt?"

"What?"
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