FicWad

This story is based off the song Angels on the Moon by Thriving Ivory and popped into my head randomly when listening to this song. Reviews are always welcome, especially since they make me want to update more often! Enjoy!


Angels on the Moon by Thriving Ivory
Do you dream, that the world will know your name
So tell me your name
Do you care, about all the little things or anything at all?
I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside I wanna feel
I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive
To know I'm alive

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

Do you believe, in the day that you were born
Tell me do you believe?
Do you know, that everyday's the first of the rest of your life

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

This is to one last day in the shadows
And to know a brother's love
This is to New York City angels
And the rivers of our blood
This is to all of us, to all of us

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

You can tell me all your thoughts, about the stars that fill polluted skies
And show me where you run to, when no one's left to take your side
But don't tell me where the road ends, cause I just don't wanna know, No I don't wanna know

Don't tell me if I'm dying


Kaylyn dug through her massive purse, her long brown hair falling in her face and obstructing her view. She pushed her hair behind her ears and continued to search. She needed one and she needed it now to relax. Nothing could relax her like Oxycontin. She found the bag of pills and smiled to herself. No one would be bothering her for hours, so she could inject and feel the high without people complaining to her. She opened the drawer in her bathroom and pulled out a syringe and everything else needed to inject herself. God she was ready to get high.

The bright lights blinded Kaylyn as she opened her eyes and she honestly felt like shit. It had happened again and she knew it because she felt Gabe's presence in the room. Gabe was so alive that you could feel him in any room. He was the life of everything and the only thing that kept her motivated at all. She once again tried to open her eyes and blinked a few times before Gabe's face became clear. He looked so uncomfortable sleeping in the tiny chair beside her bed. His long legs outstetched in front of him and head leaning back against the wall behind him, hoodie up over his head and all. She smiled to herself because he was quite a sight right now and she let a small laugh exscape her lips. She sat herself up in the bed and glanced around the room. Looks like she did have a bathroom in here, which is exactly what she was looking for. She didn't want to wake Gabe, so she quietly crept from the bed and into the bathroom. She glanced in the mirror and saw a pale frame of a woman that she vaguely recognized.

She returned from the bathroom and met Gabe's stare. He looked so disappointed and it broke her heart. Looking down at the ground, Kaylyn climbed back into the bed and pulled the covers up over herself.

"Why?" Gabe demanded this be answered, just like the last two times.

"It was an accident, I don't plan on putting myself here."

"No, why do you do it?" He sounded almost angry.

"Why does it matter? It relaxes me."

"Because you almost killed yourself!" He spat out with rage and Kaylyn stared down at her blanket, too scared to meet his gaze. She never wanted him to deal with her addiction, and that's why she always refused his requests for a date. She didn't care enough about herself, so why should she do the same to someone else?

"I'm sorry," she whispered and this only fueled Gabe's anger.

"Sorry? Kay, if you were sorry you wouldn't do this. Do you know how selfish you are for doing this to yourself over and over again? Do you even realize what you are putting your friends and family through? Or even what you put me through?" He sat on the edge of her bed and tilted her head up to look into his eyes. "It breaks my heart everytime this happens."

"Gabe," Kaylyn said and pulled her face away, trying to fight back tears.

"I can't help it Kaylyn," he withdrew a little and fiddled with his thumbs. Kaylyn is Gabe's one weakness and he refused to give up on her.

"What about Bianca?"

"She's not you."

"But she is your live in girlfriend."

"I know, but Kaylyn, you know that you feel the same about me. I know you love me too." Gabe took her hand in his and kissed the top of it softly. Kaylyn always wondered how Gabe could love her despite all her flaws, which were nearly fatal at times.

"That doesn't matter Gabe," she said and pulled her hand away. As always, she wanted to push him away from her so that she wouldn't hurt him yet again.

"Good morning Miss Trohman, I'm glad to see you're awake," the doctor said and walked over, checking the random machines. "Are you feeling alright today?"

"I feel great, can I leave yet?" She lied to the doctor and he knew it, so he chuckled and shook his head. "When?"

"Later today, first we want to keep an eye on some of your vitals and do a psychological evaluation before releasing you."

"I'm not crazy," she said and leaned back on the bed, crossing her arms like a little kid who isn't getting their way.

"We know that, it's just standard procedure since this is your 4th time in here this year."

"Whatever," she said and the doctor retreated. "That's total bullshit."

"No it's not, you need help Kaylyn."

"No I don't, what I need is for people to get off my back about my life."

"Well I'm sorry if people actually care about a peice of shit like you," Gabe spat out and stormed out of the room, leaving Kaylyn's mouth gaping open. Gabe had never said anything that hurtful before and she began to cry.

Gabe shut the door and saw Joe and Patrick walking down the hall towards him. About time Joe gets here to smack some sense into his sister Gabe thought.

"How is she?" Joe asked, slightly out of breath.

"Stubborn as always." Gabe said. "I'm going to get some food in the cafeteria."

"You okay?" Patrick asked Gabe. Patrick could always tell when something was bothering any of his friends. Gabe ran his hand through his hair and looked down.

"Yeah, I'm still madly in love with her and she wants nothing to do with me." Gabe took a deep breath to keep himself from breaking down.

"She just needs to realize what she's losing out on Gabe. She loves you, trust me." Joe said and patted Gabe on the back. Joe introduced Kaylyn and Gabe when Pete first signed Cobra Starship to Decaydance. It was love at first sight for Gabe and no matter what he did, Kaylyn never let him in. She's never even let him kiss her. No other girl has been able to make Gabe happy, no matter how beautiful or perfect for him she was. It wasn't Kaylyn.

Joe and Patrick walked into the hospital room and found Kaylyn crying into her hands.

"Hey, why are you crying?" Joe said and sat on her bed to hug her. She wrapped her arms around her amazing older brother and burried her face in his shoulder.

"I'm a piece of shit, aren't I? I don't deserve anything do I?" She sobbed.

"What? You deserve the best, you just have some things that need fixing. You're not a piece of shit."

"Where did you get that idea?" Patrick asked as he rubbed Kaylyn's back softly.

"Gabe said he was sorry that people actually care about a piece of shit like me." She pulled away and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands.

"Come on Kay, you know Gabe is insanely in love with you. He's hurting right now and probably just lashed out at you so that you felt what he felt. It's something stupid us men do." Joe rationalized Gabe's statement.

"No he's right, I'm not worth the hassle." She shook her head. "I mean, what is wrong with me? I love him and yet I push him away as much as I can."

"You're too scared to let him get close, hell you're almost too scared to let me get close and I'm your brother."

Kaylyn visited with her brother and Patrick for a little while longer before they left to find Gabe and take him home to rest. She sat in silence and realized that she had been wasting her life and almost ended it all too soon. Gabe loved her more than she could understand and yet she was willing to just let it all slip away. Maybe Gabe was the what she needed to get clean, to stop killing herself slowly everyday. Maybe she could actually be happy one day. She laid back in bed and pulled the covers over her shoulders and cried into her pillow. God, how could she be so stupid, so willing to throw everything away.

Eventually her tears ran out and she fell asleep in the hospital bed and prayed she would see Gabe's face again after she woke up.