FicWad

My bed made a creaky sound as I rocked back and forth on it, trying to sooth myself by listening to fully-grown men whining about how their girlfriend cheated on them or died or some shit.
I had seen Gerard for weeks, the entire summer actually. After my mom stormed in and revealed to Mikey exactly what I had been doing with his brother, the boys had surprisingly left in a hurry-especially Ray who looked like he couldn’t get out fast enough. Frank stayed for a bit, trying to console me but my mum soon asked him as nicely as possible to piss off and she hasn’t been letting me see anyone for the entire summer.
My nails were chewed down to the bone and I rarely washed my hair. Despite having nothing to do all day, I still couldn’t sleep well and just ended up lying in bed at night, thinking of Gerard-wondering what he’d doing at that very moment.
Tomorrow was the first day back at school. The first day of my senior year and finally the year where I would be in the same class as Gerard-seeing as I was put up a year and he was put down a year. A few weeks ago, I’d be exited at the thought of sharing some of my classes with Gerard. Now, however, my stomach turned at the thought of it.
What if he hated me? What if he loved Mikey more than me? What if he loved me more than Mikey? I really hoped Mikey hadn’t done anything stupid. If he had it wouldn’t just be Gerard hating me-I’d hate myself.
What am I talking about? I already hate myself. Just look what I’ve become! Selfish, ignorant and I have the same moral compass as Charles Manson.
Gerard was all Mikey had left in the world, and me of course, but now that had all been taken away from him. He had been betrayed by the two people he loved most in the world. My stomach twanged with guilt at the thought of Mikey, just like it had done all summer.
My foster mom appeared in the door way, a tray of macaroni cheese in her hands.

“Eat up honey, you’ve got a big day tomorrow. We don’t want you ill for it do we?” She moved closer and dumped the tray on my bed.

“I’m not hungry.” I said, my voice flat and monotone.

“You have to eat something. You’ve lost so much weight.”

“Yeah and I’ve also lost the love of my life thanks to you.” I spat.

“Oh sweetie. Don’t be so over-dramatic. Your too young to know what love is-it’s just love, that’s all.”

She stroked my hair. I brushed her hands away quickly, a look of disgust on my face.

“Ever since you met those boys you’ve changed.” She spat, suddenly turning angry. “You’ve become just like all those other girls-ready to sell your body for a new skirt.”

She didn’t understand. I wasn’t like that. Gerard understood, Gerard understood everything. He got me, unlike anyone else.

“You know what mother-why don’t you just fuck off?!” As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew they were wrong. I covered my mouth up with my hand but it was too late. I felt a sharp pain as her hand collided with my face. It was the initial shock at first, then the realisation that the women I thought of as my mother had just slapped me on the face.

“Get out.” I whispered quietly. For once, she did as I asked and I was left standing in the middle of my room, with nothing but the smell of cooked cheese to keep me company.



When I woke up, my face felt dry and stiff and my mouth felt thick with dried saliva and tasted of salt. I realised I had been crying all night and that that was the source of the bad taste and the stiff face. I got up out of bed and licked the crust off my lips.
It was cold and raining, adding to my depression. I suppose not all of me was depressed. Some of me was anxious to see Gerard and the other part was dreading it.
I climbed in the shower, deciding I’d skip breakfast today. I put on the usual, blue jeans, sneakers and a black t-shirt that had a skull and cross bone on it and ‘pirates‘ written above in cool writing. I brushed my hair a bit and looked at my make-up whilst biting my lip.
It’s not like I had a reason to wear make-up. If I had a boyfriend, I didn’t need to wear it and if I didn’t have a boyfriend, I’d probably just cry it all off in the toilets anyway.
Deciding against it I went downstairs and grabbed my already packed messenger bag. Trying to leave as silently as possible, I tip-toed down the hall and twisted the latch.

“You haven’t had your breakfast.” There she was, the she-devil herself standing right in front of me.

“I’m not hungry.” I muttered before turning around and heading out of the door.

“Tonight we are going to have a serious talk about this, young lady. You mark my words. And you better be back on time.”

I tried to ignore her but my ears were open as she spoke and I found myself bursting into tears as soon as I had crossed the road. Some old lady walking her cat gave me a funny look as she walked past me.
I just needed a minute to myself-to collect my thoughts.
A couple of minutes later and I was off again in my epic journey to school. I passed many faces of which I recognised-most didn’t recognise me. I only really had three friends in the world and two of them I doubted I’d have any longer. At least I still had Frank. I knew he would always stick by me no matter what.

“Hey.” I heard a voice and turned round, only to see Gerard standing in front of me, a cigarette in his mouth. He took the cigarette out. “How are you?” He asked.

He looked completely different now. He had grown a bit of stubble and that tiny layer of extra fat he had had disappeared to leave him looking like a skeleton.

“I’m good now I’ve seen you.” I said, grabbing his face and pulling him in for a kiss. He looked around cautiously.
“Why are you looking around?” I asked.

“I don’t want Mikey to see us together.”

“What?” I was so confused.

“I said I don’t want Mikey to think we’re together.”

Suddenly the love I had for Gee had turned into anger. “But you explained to him that we love each other and that we’re going to be together no matter what, right?”

“Actually, no.” Gerard stamped the cigarette out on the ground. “As soon as we got home that day he called my grandma to come and pick him up. He’s been living with her for the rest of the summer, I haven’t spoken to him. My grandma said he was doing good though.”

He was still looking around. I hung my head in shame. We had done all this to poor Mikey who didn’t deserve any of it. Still though, my thoughts turned to Gerard and I. It was like that was all I could think of right now.

“What about us? Are we still together?” I know I sounded like a stupid, naïve little bunny boiler but I just had to hear it for one last time, straight out of the horses mouth.

“Not until I’ve made up with Mikey. Then we can talk about being together.”

“I can’t believe you.” I hit him hard on the arm.

“Ouch. You’ve got to understand that Mikeys needs come first to me okay.” He patted my arm softly.

“Oh so you mean that I come trailing in in second place-is that right?” I asked, outraged that he didn’t care about me enough to stick with me through this.

“Your being stupid.”

“Oh so know I’m being stupid am I?” I stomped my foot on the floor like an angry child. “Well you know what Gerard Way. You can go fuck yourself cause I want nothing more to do with you. Just…Just…Just fuck off.”

I marched off in the direction of the lockers, leaving Gerard standing there with heap loads of people staring at him.
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Hope you enjoyed it. Please review. Ooh, are they going to make up next chapter? You’ll have to wait and see.