Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Look For The Boy with a Broken Smile
8-5-2006
I slapped the snooze button on my alarm clock for the 4th time. But I knew I had to get up or I'd be late.
Groaning, I fumbled my way out of the covers and shuffled to the bathroom, my eyes still halfway shut. I turned the knob on the shower and while I waited for the water to heat up I pulled myself up onto the counter and slouched halfheartedly on the tile wall.
As you may be able to tell I'm not warming up to this whole job thing after being without one for so long.
Oh right, I have to explain.
Fall Out Boy was a dream we were woken up from much too quickly. There was no way we were going on without our bassist so we called it quits. Yeah,the term 'one hit wonder' hits a little too close to home.
A few weeks after...you know... myself,Allie and Madison decided to get a house in Chicago and with a house comes rent and with rent...you have to have money. So I am now "assistant manager" at a Starbucks around the corner from my house. I guess I qualified for the position cause I worked at Dunkin' Donuts when I was 16 but whatever.
Allie works at Borders book store,which I think is adorable. But that doesn't really count because I think everything she does is adorable.
Anyways, I showered, put on my stupid Starbucks apron and hat,kissed Allie goodbye even though she was sleeping, and crept out the door.
Work was ordinary. In other words ,boring. I get off work at 2 and Allie gets off at 4 so I usually go into Borders and see her for a little bit.
So I walked into the awkwardly silent bookstore and scanned the area for Al.
I spotted her talking to some dude that was clearly more good-looking and charming than myself. Yes, I was jealous. So I retreated to one of the squishy chairs in the corner and watched the situation at hand. Finally, loserpants went away and Allie started rearranging some books.
I walked up behind her and cleared my throat.
"Excuse me ma'am, I lost my number can I have yours?"
Allie turned around and smiled.
"You know, you don't have to come up with a new,really bad pick up line everytime you see me."
"I know." I replied stuffing my hands in my pockets. "But that would be no fun."
"Geek."she said,kissing me.
I grinned and grabbed her hand,tugging her over to the squishy chairs. I pulled her onto my lap and she rested her head under my chin. Her hair smelled super good. She felt pretty cold though,so I ran out to my car and brought back my hoodie. I draped it over her shoulders and she took her place on my lap again.
"This is nice I haven't gotten to sit down at all today."
"Aww." I kissed her forehead. "I'm gonna make you a bubble bath when we get home."
That made her giggle like crazy.
"You're so cute"
"Im serious, I will"
"You know what,that sounds good. I'll take you up on that offer."
I kissed her again, but she pulled away quickly because her manager was standing over us,raising one eyebrow.
"When I said be friendly to the customers...I didn't mean that friendly.", he said after the awkward pause.
"Im sorry."she said frantically and jumped up off my lap.
"You should be. Now go clean the magazine area."
I didn't like the way he talked to her. Bastard.
She threw me a look and headed toward the opposite corner of the store.
"And as for you, you can leave if you're not gonna buy anything."
I peered over my glasses at him. I thought of a million mean things to say,but since I'm small and not exactly tough looking, I got up and wandered to the CD section. I talk a lot of shit but I'm always too small to do anything.
I browsed through until I decided on an old album from 'The Who'. I paid and left since it wasn't worth having that son of a bitch eyeing me every second.
I threw myself into the car, yanked all the plastic and stupid stickers off the CD and shoved it in quickly[that's what she said]. I was pretty excited about this CD, but on the drive home I started thinking about how I needed a new job that had better pay, so I could save up for the "surprise". Ah what the hell, it's Allie's engagement ring.
So on the way home I picked up an application at the Apple store. Im kinda nerdy like that so I think I'll be good at this job if I get it.
I kept driving, and I don't remember looking left or right much except at one intersection. When I saw the white cross sticking out of the dirt, I forgot to breathe for a little bit. I kept doing this thing where I'd hold my breath so long that I would have to gasp for air. Then I would do the same thing over and over again. Finally I realized that I was crying. I pulled over and put on my emergency lights. My vision was totally blurred from the stream of tears that rained from my eyes. I took my glasses off and put them on the seat next to me, then just put my head down. Tears were dripping down the steering wheel, and I kept wiping them away with my sleeve but they came back just as fast.
Then the thoughts came.
What if I had went after Pete after the fight? I should have been a good best friend and tried to calm him down.
Even if I had just said something to him ,talked to him for 5 seconds. He would be 5 seconds away from the intersection,5 seconds away from the other car that had taken his life. He would have passed through safely, and probably gone to Dairy Queen and got a vanilla ice cream with strawberry dip like he always did when he was mad.
But instead, I did the opposite. I said nothing, I did nothing. I sat there like a lazy bastard and made a joke of it. My best friend was upset and I sat there like a lazy bastard. It was all clearly my fault. Pete would be alive if I weren't such a shitty friend.
I sat there for at least a half an hour,crying,thinking and listening to The Who. And then the CD ended. And I realized how terribly lonely and pathetic I really am.
I slapped the snooze button on my alarm clock for the 4th time. But I knew I had to get up or I'd be late.
Groaning, I fumbled my way out of the covers and shuffled to the bathroom, my eyes still halfway shut. I turned the knob on the shower and while I waited for the water to heat up I pulled myself up onto the counter and slouched halfheartedly on the tile wall.
As you may be able to tell I'm not warming up to this whole job thing after being without one for so long.
Oh right, I have to explain.
Fall Out Boy was a dream we were woken up from much too quickly. There was no way we were going on without our bassist so we called it quits. Yeah,the term 'one hit wonder' hits a little too close to home.
A few weeks after...you know... myself,Allie and Madison decided to get a house in Chicago and with a house comes rent and with rent...you have to have money. So I am now "assistant manager" at a Starbucks around the corner from my house. I guess I qualified for the position cause I worked at Dunkin' Donuts when I was 16 but whatever.
Allie works at Borders book store,which I think is adorable. But that doesn't really count because I think everything she does is adorable.
Anyways, I showered, put on my stupid Starbucks apron and hat,kissed Allie goodbye even though she was sleeping, and crept out the door.
Work was ordinary. In other words ,boring. I get off work at 2 and Allie gets off at 4 so I usually go into Borders and see her for a little bit.
So I walked into the awkwardly silent bookstore and scanned the area for Al.
I spotted her talking to some dude that was clearly more good-looking and charming than myself. Yes, I was jealous. So I retreated to one of the squishy chairs in the corner and watched the situation at hand. Finally, loserpants went away and Allie started rearranging some books.
I walked up behind her and cleared my throat.
"Excuse me ma'am, I lost my number can I have yours?"
Allie turned around and smiled.
"You know, you don't have to come up with a new,really bad pick up line everytime you see me."
"I know." I replied stuffing my hands in my pockets. "But that would be no fun."
"Geek."she said,kissing me.
I grinned and grabbed her hand,tugging her over to the squishy chairs. I pulled her onto my lap and she rested her head under my chin. Her hair smelled super good. She felt pretty cold though,so I ran out to my car and brought back my hoodie. I draped it over her shoulders and she took her place on my lap again.
"This is nice I haven't gotten to sit down at all today."
"Aww." I kissed her forehead. "I'm gonna make you a bubble bath when we get home."
That made her giggle like crazy.
"You're so cute"
"Im serious, I will"
"You know what,that sounds good. I'll take you up on that offer."
I kissed her again, but she pulled away quickly because her manager was standing over us,raising one eyebrow.
"When I said be friendly to the customers...I didn't mean that friendly.", he said after the awkward pause.
"Im sorry."she said frantically and jumped up off my lap.
"You should be. Now go clean the magazine area."
I didn't like the way he talked to her. Bastard.
She threw me a look and headed toward the opposite corner of the store.
"And as for you, you can leave if you're not gonna buy anything."
I peered over my glasses at him. I thought of a million mean things to say,but since I'm small and not exactly tough looking, I got up and wandered to the CD section. I talk a lot of shit but I'm always too small to do anything.
I browsed through until I decided on an old album from 'The Who'. I paid and left since it wasn't worth having that son of a bitch eyeing me every second.
I threw myself into the car, yanked all the plastic and stupid stickers off the CD and shoved it in quickly[that's what she said]. I was pretty excited about this CD, but on the drive home I started thinking about how I needed a new job that had better pay, so I could save up for the "surprise". Ah what the hell, it's Allie's engagement ring.
So on the way home I picked up an application at the Apple store. Im kinda nerdy like that so I think I'll be good at this job if I get it.
I kept driving, and I don't remember looking left or right much except at one intersection. When I saw the white cross sticking out of the dirt, I forgot to breathe for a little bit. I kept doing this thing where I'd hold my breath so long that I would have to gasp for air. Then I would do the same thing over and over again. Finally I realized that I was crying. I pulled over and put on my emergency lights. My vision was totally blurred from the stream of tears that rained from my eyes. I took my glasses off and put them on the seat next to me, then just put my head down. Tears were dripping down the steering wheel, and I kept wiping them away with my sleeve but they came back just as fast.
Then the thoughts came.
What if I had went after Pete after the fight? I should have been a good best friend and tried to calm him down.
Even if I had just said something to him ,talked to him for 5 seconds. He would be 5 seconds away from the intersection,5 seconds away from the other car that had taken his life. He would have passed through safely, and probably gone to Dairy Queen and got a vanilla ice cream with strawberry dip like he always did when he was mad.
But instead, I did the opposite. I said nothing, I did nothing. I sat there like a lazy bastard and made a joke of it. My best friend was upset and I sat there like a lazy bastard. It was all clearly my fault. Pete would be alive if I weren't such a shitty friend.
I sat there for at least a half an hour,crying,thinking and listening to The Who. And then the CD ended. And I realized how terribly lonely and pathetic I really am.
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