FicWad

I closed the door when I got home from school. Mom wasn't home, she was working late, as usual. However, she did manage to call."Can you tell Nate to keep everything to himself?" I answered her ok unsure of what that meant. Then again, when do they ever include me in their little secrets.


Once she hung up, I called Renee. "Rayy," i say over the line."Are you going over Andy's tonight?" "Yeah, but i'm catching a ride with Max and his friends" she replied sympathetically. I reassured her thatit was ok. But in reality this meant I had to accept Matt's offer to the party. He wouldnt mind being we've been talking a lot...lately. Well i guess i need some kind of expierience with guys.


I hurried upstairs after having something to eat. Hopefully, Renee left an outfit from her previous times trying to make me wear things i wasnt quite ready for. I skimmed through everything until i found someting i was goint to look good. I rushed a shower and jumped into the outift. I dont know why but i was extra excited for tonight. It was my first High School Party. I searched one my dresser of all the cosmetics Renee forgot to pick up.
I looked at myself in the mirror wondering how the hell am i going to put this together. I picked up a compact and opened it.


For minutes, I experimented. After countless hours watching Renee getting ready for dates, I think I knew what I was doing. Or at least it seemed fine in my eyes. I stepped back and looked at my makeup and smiled.
The stitches were still in but the cut was practically healed. It's definetly going to leave a scar. I stared at my wet auburn hair pinned up having no idea what to do with it.


There was a knock on the door. I ignored it. But Nate came in anyway."What!?" i ask without looking at him. I glimpsed at him and he rolled his eyes."My friends are stopping by around 7:30. I dont want you downstairs." I stood quiet. "Do you understand?"he asked. I turned to face him. "Yup. Now if you dont mind, I want you get out of my room." i said calmly. "besides, Matt will probably pick me up before then." I was hoping it may effect him. It didnt."Your really taking that douche" he says. I looked up at Nate thinking he may show some sort of concern for the matter."Wow, he must be really desperate." he smirked as he slammed my door shut. I looked down trying to ignore him.
It doesnt matter what he says.He..'s just an asshole! I thought to myself. I tried to shift my mind to other problems or not I would get steamed up. I looked in my Mom's room for a hair straightener. I know she has one. When i finally found it, I took it to my room to get ready. I let my hair loose and stared at my reflection. I dont know what Nate means. Dont get me wrong, I'm not conceited but I dont think I'm grossly ugly like I believed. In fact, I dont even see the tomboy that's buried inside.

I picked up the phone and dialed Matt's number, He picked up on the second ring."Hey, babe." I sighed in annoyance. I sorta like Matt but i hate how arrogant he can sound at times. I deal enough of that with Nate."Hey. So be here umm....lets see...around 7"i say getting straight to the point. He stood quiet. "Matt?"I know he was grinning knowingly on the other side. "How 8:15?" he replies. ugh! it was an hour and 15 minutes later than what i expected."Whatever" i yell irritated. Matt laughed and I hung up. Now i was frustrated. My hair will only take but so long to do. After that, im pretty sure Nate's friends would be here gathering to head over Andy's. As if my mind was read, the doorbell ranged. ___________________________________________


Not long after I finished my hair and was ready to head over Andy's. I glanced at the clock. No where near 8:15. I sighed and decided to head downstairs onto the backyard deck. I thought I should bring my sketch pad, well notebook, with me for something to do. I searched for it around my room when i realized i left it in my bookbag.....in the living room.


I slowly walked downstairs. I couldve swore i heard only a few people come, but it seemed a lot moree than that. Almost all the "popular" kids or the morons that followed my brother's every word. I looked around for any sign of Nate. I made my way over to the sofa where my book bag was. Kids were all over the place. Some jerk was sitting on my bag.
"Excuse me" i gritted through my teeth. I did not have the patience for this."whoa, look at her" some guy commented. I ignored him and asked the jerk if he could please move. I grabbed onto the handle and yanked it from under him. Someone pulled my arm and i turn to see it was Nate. Wonderful!"Go the hell upstairs!"I gave him a look and tugged my arm out of his grip. "Dont fuckin tell me what to do."Some of his friends laughed from behind him and I can see his face turning red. I found this amusing. Some girl came by Nate's side."Aww is this the your sis?" she says in Nate's ear."She's not a dyke,silly" she turned and looked at me as if i was some weird science project. Nate laughed a little and held her closer."Let me guess, Stacy?" i say to her. she smiled winningly."Oh yeahh, I heard about you. all about you. 7 cups of beer and you'll do just about anything or should i say....anyone. Isnt that rite,Nate?"Nate looked nervously at Stacy and guys continued to laugh as I turned and walked out.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I swear the party is supposed to be at andy's and yet, there's so many people here. i thought to myself as i stepped over a couple on my kitchen floor. I saw the door leading to deck and felt a wave of satisfaction. I felt even more relief to open the door and see no one was hardly outside. Well, a few people but i could stand that.


I sat down on one of the lawn chairs and opened my notebook. I didnt kno what to sketch at first. I stared out for a moment trying to grasp my emotions. In little time i was halfway done with my drawing when the door opened again. I turned to see pete. He sat at the edge on the opposite side. I wanted so badd to go over there, but i just couldnt. It'll be too awkward. Wayy too awkward. I grab up my notebook and decided i shouldve stayed my ass upstairs.


Just as I started to stand, someone called my name. I looked back at his smile and couldnt help but return it.

"Hey,Wentz" i say my thoughts suddenly easing. I sat by him, grabbing the plastic cup he put down.

"Don't drink that" he says to me. I took a sniff of it. Beer. As if, i never drunk beer."Chill, Wentz" I tell him as I take a sip. I saw him smiling from the corner of my eye.

"Hey,"he says"I'm not being responsible for corrupting a minor."I laughed. "Pete, last time i checked you were seventeen" He laughed and so did i. "Besides drinking age is twenty one. We'll all be in trouble"

The laughter died out and I was left staring at the cup."So...how come your not inside with everyone else?" I asked trying to strike a conversation.

"How come you arent?" he replies. I rolled my eyes.
And then I noticed he was hiding something. I concentrated harder and realized it was a notebook. Weird.

"Aww, you keep a diary.Wentz" I say smiling. He got defensive and I attempted to grab it.

"Can I see?" i asked and he replied no. I slouched back and held onto my own. I hate this. Curiousity seriously does kill.

"Please, I'll let you see mine?"Pete stared at my notebook with the same curiousity

"I wont tell anyone" I reassured.
He sighed and handed me his. I smiled while i gave him mines. I sat back anxious to open his notebook, only to find notes. I turned the pages and more notes. Ugh! everyrthing is just writing! i thought he sketched in here too!I looked over at pete who was scanning through my notebook.

"So you could do more than grafitti?" he says. examining my drawings. I blushed."These are really good." he compliments.
I looked away. and he continued awing over my drawings. Ill admit i was flattered. Ok, i loved it. but that was like my diary. Very Personal. He put down my notebook.

"I didnt know you were an art freak" he says playfully. I didnt reply."So...did you like mine?"he asks.

I sighed. "Yeah...I see notebooks like that all the time."

"you do?" he asks "Wow i guess we have a lot of poets in our school."

"Poets?" i looked at him,confused.

He laughed. "Did you look at it or not?"

"Well, i took a glimpse and-"

"You thought it was school work" He says as if it was a joke. I shook my head yes. "No, its not. Its actually, lyrics. Well, ideas for songs and whatever i think of for lyrics. Oh, you get it."

I looked back down at his notebook and grabbed it from the ground. I opened it once again and actually took a close look at the words jotted down. They were lyrics. I read lines and was completely drawn in. I didnt know Pete was such, a writer. I turn pages and everytime it was something different. Anger,Passion,Love. Reading his lyrics was kinda surprising.

"So, what do you think?" he asks, "I mean you havent really said anything."

I closed his notebook and smiled. "How come you never used these for the band?"

He shrugged his shoulders."Band isnt really anything serious."

"Oh" i say. That pretty much killed the mood.

"I mean, "he says trying to correct himself,"I would love to make the band my top priority, its just im a soccer player. and now the band is only me and joe."

"Oh, and what does being a soccer player have to do with anything." i ask him.

He looked down trying to find the answer."Well, let's see...its what everyone expects from me. To be a top player, i guess. And it kinda takes up most of my life. So, keeping a band is hard. Which is why First Born broke up. I didnt commit to them." He looked away and sipped on the beer.

"Which one do you like?" i ask unsure of where this was going.

"What do you mean? I like both." he replies.

"I meant, if your heart is set on music, then go for it." i say staring at him.

"But then, soccer-"

"Pete, its your life,no one else's. If you love soccer then stick to it, If you love being in a band more, then I think thats what you should do. Despite what everyone else thinks. Theyll learn to accept it."

He thought for a moment. "I cant just change now, its too late."
"Im not telling you to change, just stop trying to live up to everyone's expectations and live up to your own." i tell him.

"Thats kinda hyprocritical to say, being you went from skater to shopper." he replies.
I looked away, that stung. It stung hard. I thought this is what he'll like.

'Oh, look. I didnt mean to be an asshole-"

"whatever."

"No, dasia, I just think you usually dont care what other people think. And now you suddenly turn into this....I dont know....I mean you look great, reallyy great....just, is this you? If it is, then I'm all for it." he says coyly.
I looked at his puppy eyes and melted all over again.

"Yeah, Wentz, this is me, or at least its me, for now." I say."And either way you turn out, a jock or punk, Im still your friend."

He smiled as i took another sip. "So, why did you change?" he asks carefully as he picks up my notebook.
I shrugged in reply.

"Is it because of matthew?" he asks

"NO!" I yell,almost spitting out my beer."Why would you think that?"

"I dont know," He says showing me the picture I drew earlier. It was of a couple. I sigh.

"I just thought this what based on you two being you guys are an item now."I looked at him, frustrated. That couple did not represent me and matthew. It represented me and how i wanted to be with him.

"Matthew and I are not an item. Where did you hear that?" i asked him, angry.

"School." he laughed. "I wasnt trying to get you mad, i just thought you changed because you loved matthew."

"I dont love matthew. Im just talking to him." i reply in defense.

"good!" he says."Even if this is based on your love for him, i must admit you did a good job capturing it on a drawing."he says looking down at my sketch."You have talent."
I hate when pete does this. Makes me all....ugh! then turns around and totally changes the mood. He kept complimenting my drawing skills, and as modest as i am, i kept trying to hide the joy.

"Your lyrics are really good" I say uneased. He looked up, giving me his full attention.

"You...liked them?"he asks me.

I shyly shook my head yes."Mhmm. Its not just empty words. It actually has a meaning."
Now pete was the one blushing and i smiled.

"i dont care if you still play soccer, you should still write. your a great writer." i say playfully trying to catch his eye contact.

He played back. "Well, I decided, Im not."

"Not??" I say still smiling.

"Yeah,"he says,"You had me thinking, well ive actually thought of it before and now ive decided for good, that soccer isnt going to be my life."I looked at him, confused.

"I think im gonna go for music. I dont know if ill do it,like, tomorrow, but I am eventually."
I hugged him."I'm so happy for you."

I totally think Pete would be a good musician. He already is good, but he could be even better. I backed away slowly, not sure if i caught him off guard. I looked at him for his reaction. He was grinning and staring at me.I guess checking me out. I forced a grin back.

"You look, really nice." he says,"but personally, i think you look nice either way."

I laughed."Wentz, maybe you should slow down on the drinking."

he laughed too. "No, I'm serious. I dont get why you changed. You were just fine."

"really??'I say.
"Yeah, really" he says back.
We stared at each other. I,for one, wasnt convinced about anything he was saying. He, on the other hand, just stared. I tried to smile, but he cut me off.

He kissed me.
It was just a little peck at first,which caught me by surprise and then another and another, getting deeper each time. I relaxed my arms around him and decided to kiss back. I didnt know what i was doing, but it sure as hell felt right.I could feel his hand, holding my face. His lips curving into a smile. My lips did the same.Because now i know, i possibly couldnt be imagining. I am kissing Pete.

Just as i got into the kiss, he pulled away. I stared back at him, angry and confused. I thought everything was fine. I thought our kiss was great. I guess he didnt.

"Sorry" he whispers. I stared at him even more questioning now. He said nothing.

"Umm...I'm sorry too" i say staring at the other people in the backyard. What went wrong? Everything was going...good for once.

"You know what," I practically yell, "I'm not sorry for kissing you" Pete looked up at me, probably shocked,like me, to hear what was coming out my mouth.

"I'm not" i say moving closer to him.

He stared down at the small space between us."I didnt freak you out?" He asks with concern.

I smiled."No. It was kinda in the moment, i guess."

He laughed."Good." he says kissing me on the cheek this time.