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Categories > Books > Harry Potter > But Lily, what about the Veela!

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• But Lily, what about the Veela!

  (#) apocalypse_thou 2008-07-22

  The story is really good. I think your story is good enough not to have to resort to using lemons. If you feel you can write it well, by all means do, but either way i dont believe it will damage the story.
  
  Powerwise for Harry, well, he's up to third year standard now? I think that having him become an animagus in his 2nd or early 3rd year would be a good power level.

• But Lily, what about the Veela!

  (#) HarryGinnyTonks 2008-07-22

  i enjoy reading lemons, but its your choice. Make sure to notify readers that there is a lemon approaching if you do.

• But Lily, what about the Veela!

  (#) Vanir 2008-07-22

  If you have a great storyline, there's no need for lemons unless you enjoy writing them, of course. Fade to black, though, isn't really a good option. It's neither fish nor fowl, kind of thing. If you stay clear of the NC-17, it's fine. The outset of the story is right there in the title, so making the story "discrete" would be sort of silly. Of course, we all interpret the Veela by our own standards. Mine is decidedly nc-17 but I'm not you.
  
  Apo above gave a good power rating i think. You could give him some kind of boosted reaction to his Core due to proximity to the Veela. From a creature point of view, Veela seeks powerful mates and this one's mate was right there during his formative years. A cumulative effect?
  
  Keep it up, and when life gives you lemons, warn the innocent bystanders.
  
  Vanir

• But Lily, what about the Veela!

  (#) DJ32 2008-07-22

  Grate fic keep it up. Will Hermione be going France at some point or will Harry be shanghied to Hogwarts?

• But Lily, what about the Veela!

  (#) brujah_childe 2008-07-22

  Good so far, but keep in mind that if Harry doesn't go to Hogwarts, Hermione is probably going to get either killed or maimed by the troll on Halloween, and then either Dumbles has to either move the stone, or someone else has to save it. Then, assuming that Voldie doesn't get the stone, someone has to save Ginny from the Chamber the next year. If she dies down there, you have to deal with either 2 Voldemorts, or reintegrateing the older spirit into the new younger body. My suggestion is to have someone else save the two girls, (probably Ron, or Neville, as they're the only ones that are both brave and stupid enough to do it with Harry gone.) otherwise, you have Voldemort way too early in your plotline, and the Tri-Wizard won't happen. Of course, if Hermione is only injured by the troll, she could tranfer to Beauxbatons with a language charm.
  
  As for your questions;
  1)fade to black scenes alway seem to be incomplete to me, but only write the lemon if you feel comfortable doing it, and can do it well.
  2)Fleur is 3 years older than Harry, so that's gonna be tricky. I'd say nothing past 2nd base before he's at least 13, and no sex until he's 16.
  3)Harry's already overpowered compared to his year-mates that are at Hogwarts, but given what you've written here, with training, he could probably manage animagi or metamorphmagi by 3rd year, and parselmagic by 4th. Some hints of weak Veela magic might be feasible by 3rd year, if you can come up with a good explaination for it leaking through their betrothal bond.
  4)Aside from political posturing from Dumbles about which school Harry's going to go to, I'd think that Harry's first two years of school would be fairly uneventful. I'm sure there will be some increased security when Sirius breaks out of Azkaban, but I'd make up some people to take the place of Malfoy and Ron. He needs a buddy and a baddie.
  
  Okay, I've rambled long long enough, and haven't spell checked this. Looking forward to more.

• But Lily, what about the Veela!

  (#) Shaolin_Leprechaun 2008-07-22

  Nice touch on the Firefly reference. River writing a history book is enough to make snorkacks seem normal.

• But Lily, what about the Veela!

  (#) eiramss 2008-07-22

  Interesting story. I'm not one to tell people how to write their stories, but so far so good, just one thing. Please get a beta.

• But Lily, what about the Veela!

  (#) c3markh 2008-07-22

  Should this story contain lemons (or should it be more of a fade to black scene)?
  Lemons Please
  
  When should their relationship go to another level? (IE, How far and when?)
  I think Harry should mature faster as a veela.
  
  What do you consider over powered Harry?
  Where no one else can cause him serious problems.
  
  What do you think should happen at Beauxbatons during the school years (1st, 2nd, and 3rd)?
  I don't have any ideas.
  
  Don't worry about people who have not read the beginning where you explained that you have premission.

• But Lily, what about the Veela!

  (#) Maxtaf 2008-07-22

  I have to agree with the little green Chinese monk. The cameos in the authors were great. Alexander Corvinus was the one that got my attention, and I spotted River Tam as soon as I looked for more, but is Jane Smith a nod to the Dr Who character Sarah Jane Smith, or to Angelina Jolie's character in 'Mr. & Mrs. Smith'?
  
  I like that you are turning into a more full-fledged story what seemed to start life as a humorous one-shot. And those who are being gits and calling you a plagarist (one of the most vile thing one can say to an author - an insult right up there with 'mudblood')? Fook 'em! You know you have permission, you've posted that you have permission, and if they can't read (and most critics obviously can't), then to he11 with them.
  
  Now, to your questions.
  
  Should this story contain lemons (or should it be more of a fade to black scene)?
  I like lemons. Limes, grapefuit, and other yummy citrus are also gratefully accepted. Just don't let the men slash them apart before serving.
  
  When should their relationship go to another level? (IE, How far and when?)
  Hmm. As the French are much more open about amour, Beaubatons should have separate suites for arranged couples. All students get an epic length version of The Talk, including How To Best Please Your Mate. Of course, the girls are also strongly encouraged to get a contraceptive implant, just in case. This will allow Harry and Fleur to play more freely. Start with kissing and light petting in first year, heavy petting and oral in second, and sex in Harry's third year. I thought originally to say to wait longer, but in Harry's third year, Fleur is 16, and (if my girlfriends in high school were any indication) has been crawling-the-walls horny for the past couple years. And anyone who says that a 13 year old male isn't ready for sex with a 16 year old Veela has never been a 13 year old boy. Harry was ready at 12.
  
  What do you consider over powered Harry?
  He's not overpowered until reality starts warping itself around him in response to his subconscious desires.
  
  What do you think should happen at Beauxbatons during the school years (1st, 2nd, and 3rd)?
  See your second question above. Also, Harry should immediately make a request to test out of 3rd year classwork, so he can be with Fleur. He should only succeed in those subjects he has been able to practice, i.e. potions, runes, arithmancy, history, etc. Charms, Defense and Transfiguration he should stay in First year, even if he is a bit advanced (he does need some socialization time with kids his age.) A kidnapping attempt would be good, to showcase his and Fleur's training. And of course, the manipulative old bast@rd won't stop trying to get Harry under his thumb. (Maybe he was behind the kidnapping attempt...) Advanced training (Harry's parents knew the prophecy, and told Fleur's parents, who will tell him and start getting him trained), which should, at Harry's insistence, include Fleur, for her own protection (since he can't be in every class with her.) Training should include Occlumency, Legilimency, and animagery. As Harry is only going to Beaubatons to be with Fleur, Dumbles should try to get between Harry and Fleur (maybe he tries to get her raped/pregnant, or set her up, with a little chemical assistance, to be unfaithful to Harry, with a fertility potion to really mess her up.)
  
  Wow. You had to go and ask, didn't you? Now look what you've made me do.
  
  Anyway, thanks for writing a great story for us. I appreciate your efforts to keep us all entertained.

• But Lily, what about the Veela!

  (#) lycus 2008-07-23

  Excellent, Now you ask what is an over powered Harry, well don't give him godlike powers but still strong enough that he is equal to voldemort at the time of his resurection, so you have that part of the prophecy down but Harrys magic is still growing, But there are other stories where they describe that the basilisk venom and the Phoenix tears are fighting each other and that is one of the things that give harry extra power and make him immune to poison and his blood toxic. As for lemons, I personaly like them but if you don't want to write them you could always have them start something and just have them waking up the next day giving a small description of what happened (like fleur saying you wore me out last night). But please I am begging you do not have Ron and Hermione become friends especally since Harry was the factor that made them tolerate each other in the first place.

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