Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Harry Potter and the Distaff Side

Family Real and Imagined

by Clell65619 17 reviews

The Dark Lady's plan for Harri, and reaction to it.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: R - Genres:  - Warnings: [V] [X] [?] - Published: 2008-08-01 - Updated: 2008-08-01 - 4694 words

A/N: I own none of this. I do not own Harry Potter or any rights to his image or personality. I do not own the moon or the stars. I do not own human genders, other than my own personal original factory equipment. Honest. Nope, not me. I most certainly do not own the rights to a billion dollar literary work.
Harry Potter and the Distaff Side


Family Real and Imagined.

“Speak Silvia”

Snape looked up from her place at her Mistress’s feet. “Dumbledore is attempting to see a pattern in your cullings. So far she has tasked me to discover your intentions and perhaps your next target.”

“She will have to learn to live with being disappointed in you Silvia.” Riddle steepled her fingers. “What of the girl?”

“Potter performs in all of her classes at levels referred to by my peers as ‘adequate’ with occasional sparks of brilliance. The exception being Defense. There she is at the top of her year. But this is only in comparison to other fifth years. She some how annoyed Amanda Strews when she was teaching. Strews destroyed the girl. Strews put the girl into the Hospital ward for three days. The school healer told me that Potter might have died.”

Riddle smiled and nodded. “As I suspected. If not for her annoying adherence to rules and order, Strews would wear my mark. What training is Dumbledore giving the girl?”

“As far as I can determine the girl is receiving no special training at all my Mistress. There is a possible problem however. The boy.”

A frown crossed Riddle’s features. “What of the boy?”

“Immediately following the Potter girl’s injuries, Strews herself was hospitalized. At first I thought she had dueled either Moody or Bones, both of whom were called to the school in the aftermath of Strews disciplining the Potter girl. Dumbledore told me that he was worried, due to the Potter Boy having being the one responsible.”

Riddle smirked. “Silvia, you worry too much. So the boy was devious enough to ambush Amanda. Admittedly, his performance is impressive for a male Hufflepuff, but nothing to worry about. When I kill his dimensional twin, the boy will fall apart.” She shook her head at Snapes’s needless worry. “Lucile speak.”

“I have put your plan into motion my Mistress. Tomorrow afternoon I go before the Wiccegamot and put forward your plan.”

“Do you expect success?”

“Yes my Mistress. Not tomorrow, but in the New Year. Dumbledore will delay the decision until after the Solstice break so as to rally his side, but the investments you have directed me to make and the general conservatism of the Wiccegamot will work against him.”


“… and that concludes the scheduled business before the Wiccegamot this day.” Blanch Dumbledore said in the traditional end of meeting prose for this Counsel. “I call on any with new business for the Coven to stand forth and offer it for our consideration now.”

Lucile Malfoy stood and strode to the speakers podium in her regal way. After a few moments of theatrically arranging the documents she brought with her upon the face of the podium, she cleared her throat and spoke.

“Dryhtcwén Dumbledore, Honored members of the Wiccegamot. I stand before you to speak of an injustice that has been done to one of the Heroines of the Magical world. As I’m sure many of you know, the Uncle of the Girl Who Lived, her only surviving blood relative died this past August. Four months later, and still she has no legal guardian…”

Dumbledore blinked. How had she missed that? Had she been too relieved that young Harriet was at the Burrow when what ever had happened to the Dursleys had happened that the legal requirements for a fifteen year old had escaped her mind… She realized that she hadn’t secured a legal guardian for the Potter boy either…

During Dumbledore’s internal reflections, Malfoy had continued with her presentation. “… Since the Savior of the Magical Britain needs guidance in the realities of the Natural Order, I humbly offer my Husband and I, both exemplary products of Pure Blood culture as foster parents for Harriet Jane Potter, the Girl Who Lived.”

“The Wiccegamot thanks you for pointing out our grievous error Lady Malfoy.” Dumbledore said quieting the rumbles of conversation all around her. “And we thank you for your generous offer to adopt young Miss Potter; I believe however that many other families will be making similar offers now that the need is known.” Dumbledore looked down into the disappearing superior smirk on the Malfoy woman’s face. “This is the last session before the Solstice break. I happen to know that young Harriet has made plans to spend the holiday with the Weasley clan. The Wiccegamot will convene a special session on…” Dumbledore referred to the calendar of the Clerk of the Wiccegamot, “January 9th of the coming year. At that time those families wishing to offer home and hearth to young Miss Potter may submit themselves for our review.”


Nelly Longbottom rushed into the Gryffindor common room. She looked around the room in a near panic, and then she spotted Orestes. She made her way to the corner where the brightest Wizard of his age was reading.

“Orestes, I need to talk to Harri.”

Orestes’ brow furrowed. “I’m not sure where he is just not Nelly, what’s wrong?”

The Scion of the Longbottom clan looked around to see is anyone was paying attention to them, then leaned forward and whispered. “I’ve just heard from my Granddad, Malfoy’s mother went in front of the Wiccegamot yesterday and put the Malfoy family forward to adopt Harri.”

“Oh no. What did the Headmistress do?”

‘She put it off until the New Year. Granddad said that he was putting himself forward, but he thinks that his age and the fact that it’s just me and him will work against us.”

“I wonder if my parents would…”

“The Wiccegamot is very conservative Orestes, even the light aligned side. They’d never approve Muggles Harri wasn’t actually related to.” Nelly smiled apologetically. “The Weasleys are sure to put themselves forward, but they are relatively low status. That will cause a problem. I want to talk to Harri and suggest that we write the Bones and the Abbotts for help. Their both two parent families with status nearly level with the Malfoys.”

“Thank you Nelly. I wonder why this is the Headmistress hasn’t told Harri yet…”

“My Granddad tells me the Professor Dumbledore tends to have his own motivations Orestes. You know Hufflepuff Harry is in the same boat.” Nelly said using their in house name for the male Potter. “I doubt that anyone would care if your parents made the offer to him…”


Harry returned to his dorm to change for dinner. He wasn’t all that sure he would ever truly appreciate the Herbology classes, every year the plants became more dangerous and… messy. The toxins that the damned sleep vine had sprayed on him had necessitated a long soak in a tub of a foul smelling neutralizing potion. His clothing had been cleaned magically, but he felt an all consuming need to get OUT of them and take a long hot shower.

At least that had been the plan. Right up until he found Erin MacMillan partially undressed and laying on his bed.

“Hello Harry.”

“Get out.” Harry said wishing that the ‘Puff dorms were charmed like the Gryffindor dorms were. Women couldn’t get into the men’s dorms in the tower.

“Don’t be like that Harry.” She stretched on the bed. “Tell me again how dangerous you are. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Oh great.


“I’m not sure what can be done to stop the Malfoys.” Orestes had several books open in front of him. “Everything I’ve found says that they have the upper hand in their claim on you Harri, due to their money and that they share the same status in as the Potter family.”

“Oh yeah, I so full of status. Fat lot of good that supposed status has ever done me. What if I refuse?”

“You’re only fifteen Harri,” Ronnie said. “What you want doesn’t really enter in to it.” The tall red head frowned. “Dad and Mum are going to try to get you, but…”

“The best defense is a good offense.” Harry said, still a bit angry at finding Erin in his bed and that getting away from the odd girl with submissive fantasies had precluded his getting his shower. “I don’t know the Malfoys here, but back home they were family family family all the time. What if we made it known that attempting to do anything to Harri would make life painful and short for their little deformed princess?”

“That might work.” Luna said taking hold of his hand. “You’ve described them perfectly. Thubani’s father dotes on the girl, and Aunt Lucile has great plans for her.”

“Aunt Lucile?”

“My father’s birth name was Malfoy.” She said simply. “Lucile Malfoy is my Aunt and Thubani is my cousin.”

“So.” Harriet said. “I go and kick Thubani’s ass and threaten more if they don’t back off.”

“No. It can’t be you.” Luna said shaking her head. “Or any of the Weasleys. You can’t do it either Orestes. You are all well known ‘lights’. It has to be our wild card.”

All four of them looked to Harry. “Me? What makes me a wild card?”

“No one really knows you Harry, outside of us. You’ve already started in on messing with Malfoy’s head.” Orestes said. “If you come off all biblical vengeance on her, she’ll buy it.”

“That coupled with what you can do, well, you’re dead scary.” Ronnie added.

“And I know what frightens dear cousin Thubani.” Luna added. “You’ll make her wet herself.”


The discussion went on for a while longer, Orestes and Luna agreed to meet the next day to determine exactly what they would do to frighten Thubani and when they would do it, so as to present Harry with something of a script to follow. Then Orestes and Harri left for a walk around the lake, and Ronnie left to raid the kitchens for a snack, then to find Larry Brown for his other needs.

Harry and Luna sat together in silence for a few moments, until Luna spoke.

“It’s terrible what the Malfoys are trying to do to Harriet. I doubt they are doing it on their own, the Dark Lady must be behind it.”

“Yeah. And she’s ignoring me. I don’t know whether to be hurt or happy.”

“Be happy, and continue your training until you show her the error of her ways.”

“Training?” Harry hadn’t told Luna about the sessions with the Riddle of the Room, how had she…

“I’m Looney Harry, not stupid. Harriet, Orestes, Ronnie and you all disappear for hours on end; Harri has been packing on muscle for the last month, almost catching up with you, while Orestes and Ronnie have toned up impressively. You’re training. My only question is why haven’t you invited me?”

“Truthfully, I didn’t think you’d want to see what we do.”

“Ah the cultural differences strike again. My cultural upbringing has me wanting to protect you Harry. I know you don’t need me to protect you, I even know you’re more powerful than I could ever dream of being, but neither am I fragile and needing of being coddled Harry. I’m not a little boy.”

For the first time since he had arrived at the Room of Requirements Harry smiled. “Luna, would you like to train with us?”

“Why, yes Mr. Potter, I believe I would. Thank you for the invitation.” They shared a laugh. Then Luna spoke again. “When you arrived, you were angry. Why?”

“I’m having problems with one of the girls in Hufflepuff.” Harry sighed. “She keeps coming on to me after I’ve told her no.”

“I’ve heard of the freewheeling ways in Hufflepuff house, why did you turn her down?”

“Two reasons. First, I know her as Ernie MacMillan, and I can’t disassociate the two. Second, and most important, I’m with you… or at least I want to be.”

Luna was quiet for a moment. “I’ve never asked that we be exclusive.”

“I know. It might be presumptive of me, but it’s the way I am. If I’m with you, I’m with only you.”

Luna looked into his eyes for a moment, then leaned into him for a kiss. “I’ll speak with Miss MacMillan.” She said when they broke the kiss. “She won’t be bothering you anymore.”


Thubani Malfoy woke in darkness to a throbbing headache. It didn’t take long for the heir to the Malfoy line to understand that there was something over her head. She attempted to move and found that she couldn’t.

“Hello Thubani… Quite the predicament you find your self in isn’t it?”

“Potter? What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

There was a chuckle in the man’s voice. “What I’m doing is contemplating using a bit of torture in order to send your dear mother a message.”

“You can’t do this to me you half blood filth! When my mother hears…”

The male Potter pulled the hood from her face. Thubani found herself looking into his eyes and wishing that the hood was back. “Well, you see Thubbi, I want you to tell your Mummy all about our conversation. Rumor has it that she is attempting to adopt my dear dimensional twin, which will sort of make us family, you and me.” The young man smiled, but that smile didn’t reach his empty eyes. “And who can you have frank, honest discussions with if not family? Now Harri is a sweet person, she really is. She believes in second chances and redemption. Me, I lean more toward the old ways.” A blade suddenly appeared in his hand and Potter was using it to trace the outline of her face. “You know… An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.”

“Don’t hurt me.” The platinum blond said weakly.

“Ah, well that’s sort of a problem for me… I know your mother wears the Dark Lady’s mark, and you know it too… I’m afraid that what ever happens to my twin will happen to you… Of course I tend to get carried away when I’m… Well, let’s just say that it might turn out to be to your advantage to get mummy to stop trying to adopt Harriet Potter.”

“You can’t threaten me.”

“Thubbi, you aren’t paying attention. I’ve been threatening you since you woke up. I took you without you knowing I was doing it. You may be the queen of those pathetic losers in Slytherin, but I am the all seeing, all knowing, and vengeful god of your universe when it comes to my twin. As long as you leave me and mine alone, I leave you alone. You try something, anything with me and I’ll hurt you. You or Mummy mess with Harri, I’ll force the two of you to watch while I torture your daddy to death before I kill the two of you, slowly.”

“You wouldn’t. You’re a light wizard!”

Harry patted the trembling girl on the cheek. “No Thubbi, Harriet is a light witch. Me, I’m a follower of the old ways. Annoy me enough and I’ll kill you. I’ll kill your family. I’ll kill your friends. I’ll kill your neighbors and all their pets. Thubbi, I’ll wipe out entire pure blood lines, and none of you will be able to stop me little blossom. No you, not Mummy, not your pathetic ‘Dark Lady’. This is the only warning you’re going to get; I’d talk to Mummy if I were you.”

Thubani Malfoy slumped unconscious from a silent stunner. Harry Potter sat back in his chair. “How was that?”

“Perfect. You scared the shit out of me all the way over here.” Orestes said from the darkened corner where he sat.

“I agree Harry.” Luna said. “From anyone else it would never be believed, but you’re a wild card.”

“Ok, I can pretend to be a bad ass for a while I guess. What do we do with her?”

“Oh, I’ll take care of my dear cousin.” Luna smiled. “I’ve had something special planned for a few years.”


The next morning Thubani Malfoy was found outside the entrance to the Slytherin dorms, staked in the center of a pentagram drawn in blood, shorn of every single hair, her naked body had been covered in runes drawn in the same blood.

She professed to have no knowledge of who might have done this to her, and refused to speak of it, claiming emotional trauma. Blanche Dumbledore did notice a sudden flurry of owls passing between the youngest Malfoy and her Mother.


Orestes found Harry in the Library researching for a charms essay. “Hey.”

Harry looked up as Orestes took a seat across from him. “Hey yourself.”

“We hadn’t really talked about it, but I was wondering if you had any plans for the Christmas hols.”

Harry shook his head. “I was planning on staying here. I spent most Christmases at the castle back home.”

“Dad and Mum asked that I invite you to stay with us.” Orestes hesitated. “It would be a chance for us to hang out and, you know, just talk like last summer. We’ll visit Harri on Boxing Day, and it wouldn’t be hard for you to visit Luna when we go by the Weasleys.”

“I don’t want to intrude on your family time Orestes.”

“It’s not intruding when you’re invited Harry. Don’t be a prat, say yes. I’m thinking Dad is missing your cooking.”


Sixty three dead. Almanzo Bones made a circuit of the crime scene. He didn’t need to see the Dark Mark hanging in the air over the cluster of homes just outside Bristol. The first Auror on the scene had recognized the disaster and called for help.

The attack was centered on #9 Callas Lane. The home of the Martins. A mixed couple, David Martin, 26, a Muggle architect. Tracey Martin, 31, Witch. Employed as a Ministry Spell Crafter. The Martins had two children, both of whom were had exhibited signs of accidental magic. Forensics was showing that seven of the Dark Lady’s minions had apparated into the Martin home, and killed all four of the Martins. They then spread to the surrounding homes killing everyone they came across.

Not a single killing curse had been cast. Each death was slow and painful. Almanzo shook his head. The Ministry was reacting. Hell, HE was reacting. This war could never be won if he kept reacting to what Riddle did. He had to go on the offensive.

It was time for another meeting with Moody. Whatever his old partner and mentor was planning, Almanzo wanted to be a part of it. This had gone on far too long, and innocents were paying the price of his inadequacies.


Erin MacMillan was late. As usual she had never gotten around to packing for the holiday the night before when her Prefect patrol had run long due to a disturbance between a pair of Slytherin third years in the Entrance Hall after curfew. Now she had skipped lunch in order to finish packing. She rushed out of the Hufflepuff dorms toward the Entrance Hall when someone took hold of her hair and jerked her to a stop.

Erin’s wand clattered to the floor as she was dragged into a broom closet by her hair. Once inside the door closed silently. Erin found herself forced up against one of the walls face first, then who ever it was that had her by her hair pulled it back until she was looking upward. Something, some liquid was poured into her mouth.

“Swallow it, or don’t. It doesn’t matter. You’re exposed.” An oddly lilting voice said in her ear. “That was an interesting poison from my Daddies’ private files. Very slow acting. If you’re a good girl, I’ll give you the antidote in March before it starts affecting you. All you have to do to earn it is stay away from Harry Potter. He’s mine and I do not share. You’ve been annoying him I’m afraid. That has to stop.”

“Assaulting a prefect? I’ll have you expelled for this.” Who was this girl?

“Don’t be silly MacMillan. Right now I’m in plain view of a few dozen people. It’s amazing how many people will believe an illusion when they see one. Stay away from Harry, or I’ll really hurt you. Remember, you need the Antidote by March, or truly horrible things will happen.”

Erin felt the other girl release her. She tried to turn and confront her attacker but she became entangled in the cleaning equipment in the cupboard and sprawled to the ground. The door opened and a silhouetted figure exited the cupboard. By the time Erin managed to regain her feet and find the door there was no one in the hallway. She found her wand on the floor and made her way to the entrance hall.

Was it a bluff? Was it real? How could she tell?


Thubani Malfoy woke to find she was underwater and couldn’t breathe. Panic consumed her and she thrashed about, unable to gain purchase, or indeed even move her head. Just as her vision started to grey out, she was hauled from the water.

Sucking at the air greedily she discovered that she was on a cold tiled floor. The panic beginning to ebb, she looked around and recognized where she was. She was in one of the lavatories on the Hogwarts Express. Panting, she noticed someone’s shoes. Looking up she realized to her horror that it was the male Potter looking down on her smiling.

“Hello Thubi. I just thought I’d make sure you remembered our little conversation about your Mummy’s intentions toward my twin.”

“How did you… Where are…”

“Goyle and Crabbe? Those two lovely ladies are enjoying the sleep of the innocent just now. You had such an interesting collection of wards on your compartment Thubi. They slowed me down for most of fifteen seconds.” He smiled. “And here I thought you understood I could get to you anywhere, anytime and there’s not a damned thing you can do about it. Still, I suppose you should at least get points for trying. Where would the fun be if I didn’t have to work for it?”

“What do you want from me?” Asked the Slytherin Princess through clenched teeth.

“Just your complete and utter understanding of the consequences of your Mummy annoying my twin in any way. If that adoption goes through, you die.” Potter’s smile became a smirk. “Which would I suppose make her Lucile’s heir… Wouldn’t that be fun? Then I kill Lucile and we add the Malfoy fortune to the Potter vaults.”

“My Mother will…”

“Be as well defended as you are precious. Think about that.” He raised his wand.

Thubani woke up back in her compartment sitting between her sleeping body guards, completely dry, with no evidence that anything had happened. Had it been a dream? Had it been real?


Harry returned to his friends in the last compartment of the last car. Luna immediately pulled him close.

“How did it go?”

“I followed your script to the letter Orestes. You and Luna are sick you know that? When I got to the part where Harri would be the Malfoy heir, she almost made a mess in her pants. She’s back in her compartment and shouldn’t wake up for about half an hour.”

“Where she will wonder if it was real.” Luna added. “I told you I knew how to scare her.”

“I just hope I never make you mad at me Love.” Harry said.

The compartment dissolved into laughter.


A/N: In reviews it has been mentioned that it is sometimes hard to keep track of who is who with the universe/gender swap. In response from here on out I’m including my score card (Can’t tell the players without a score card) that I use to keep the names (mostly) straight.

The Distaff Side
Character List.

Male Harry Universe Female Harri Universe


Harry James Potter Harriet Jane Potter

Hermione Jean Granger Orestes John Granger

Ronald Billius Weasley Veronica Beth Weasley (Ronnie)

Parvarti Patil Parvatinandan Patil

Padma Patil Padmaj Patil

Lavender Brown Lawrence Brown.

Neville Longbottom Nelly Longbottom

Dean Thomas Diedra Thomas

Lee Jordan Lea Jordon

Susan Bones Stu Bones

Draco Malfoy Thubani Malfoy

Hannah Abbott Haden Abbott

Justin Finch-Fletchly Jessica Finch-Fletchly

Wayne Hopkins Wendy Hopkins

Megan Jones Michael Jones

Ernie MacMillan Erin MacMillan

Zacharias Smith Zaylie Smith

The Deceased:

Lilly Potter nee Evans Lance Potter nee Evans

James Potter Jane Potter


Sirus Black Canicula Black

Remus John Lupin Naguals Lupin

Peter Pettigrew Petra Pettigrew

Arthur Weasley Ginevra Weasley

Amelia Bones Almanzo Bones

Bellatrix LeStrange Orion LeStrange

Cornelius Fudge Cornelia Fudge

Tom Marvolo Riddle Tomasina Merope Riddle

Lucius Malfoy Lucile Malfoy

Hogwarts Staff:

Albus Dumbledore Blanch Dumbledore

Severus Snape Silvia Snape

Pomona Sprout Phaleon Sprout

Filius Flitwick Filia Flitwick

Alaster Moody Anastasia Moody

Minerva McGonagall Marcus McGonagall

Poppy Pomphrey Paul Pomphrey


Crookshanks Brunhilda

Trevor Josephine

Hedwig Helios

A/N: A few thoughts.

It has been asked in reviews if I am “a girl that has a dream of this sort of thing happening (the whole reversal of roles male/female thing) or are you a guy with a sick sense of humor intent on making other guys uncomfortable with this concept?”

Well, I’m a guy. My sense of humor is, in fact, fairly sick, but this isn’t intended as a joke.

The difference between the universes isn’t one of biology, women aren’t larger (on average) than men in the Womens world. Women still have the babies (and hand them over to the men to raise.) The difference between the universes boils down to aggression. In the Womens world the women have it, and men don’t. Being bigger and stronger doesn’t do you a bit of good socially, if you lack the aggression necessary to use your size and strength. If you were to do a DNA analysis on Harry and Harri you would find them to be identical twins. In the Women’s world women come from the XY chromosome combination, Males from XX.

Luna’s posit that she was female in both universes because “Someone had to be” annoyed quite a few people. I look at it like this, with six billion individuals, and Harry having personal knowledge of fewer than a thousand people, there could be untold numbers of people having the same gender in both universes. Perhaps Hermione also has a female cousin named Melanie, just as Orestes does, but Harry wouldn’t notice because he had never met the woman from his universe.

A/N2: Many thanks to D.J. Thorens for pointing me toward an online Olde English to Modern English translation website… Made for more realistic made up names…
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