FicWad

Radio, Radio- Elvis Costello
Once in the third grade I had somehow been entered into our school’s spelling bee. It shouldn’t have surprised me as much as it did. I was always smart and gifted at English, plus I was the best speller in my whole class. The morning of the actual event I was confident and somewhat sure of myself. They called my name to the stage and I swaggered up with pride. The word was ‘catastrophe’. My heart dropped in my chest. I didn’t know the word; no third grader could possibly spell that word. Everyone was just staring at me. Their beady eyes boring holes through my third grade self. I eventually ran off the stage crying and humiliated. From that moment on I hated to be on stage, and furthermore I hated being stared at.
They all just sat there staring at me, waiting. Kevin, Joe, Nick, and even Meredith just looked at me as if expecting some sort of grand reaction. My heart sped up in my chest. The after effects of drinking so much was starting to hit, and I could feel a hangover looming in the horizon. All of it was too much: the stares, the headache, the expectant looks. I suddenly wished that I was in third grade again, back at that dreaded spelling bee. That seemed like a cake walk compared to this.
“Is that” I started slowly walking towards the bed, and taking a seat. My legs had become wobbly and unstable. “supposed to mean anything to me?”
I looked to Meredith for support, but she only looked at me incredulously. Joe and Nick seemed to have similar looks of shock. Kevin was a surprise though. He didn’t look surprised. A small smile played across his lips, and he looked at me with some sort of appreciation. This was all too confusing for me. I cleared my throat loudly snapping the three staring morons out of their own shock.
“You mean you don’t know who we are?” Joe said motioning to the three boys. “You haven’t known who we are this entire time?” I shook my head, and to everyone’s surprise he laughed. “You must think we are crazy people.”
“The idea has run through my mind.” I said sarcastically. Joe smiled widely, as if forgetting everything else that had happened that day. I was beginning to think this Joe character had a wee bit of ADD.
“Al, you know who the Jonas Brothers are.” Meredith said in matter of fact tone. I raised my eyebrows at her. “They are the band that Sophie loves.” A light bulb lit in my mind.
“You don’t mean the one that we had to listen to all the way to your sister’s house do you?” I asked.
“Yes! We were ready to kill ourselves by the end of that trip.” Meredith exclaimed, finally excited about my realization. Joe looked appalled. “Oh, don’t be a baby. You try listening to your music over and over for twelve hours and see how you like it.”
“Don’t call me a baby!” Joe shot back defensively.
“Don’t act like one then!” Meredith shouted with the same vigor.
“Can you guys just shut up?” I yelled silencing the two who were bickering like cats. The two continued to glare at one another, but both stop fighting. I sighed heavily and turned towards Meredith. “I’m sorry I worried you and made you come all this way, but can you just leave for a little bit.” Meredith went to open her mouth as if to say something, but I continued before she had the opportunity to. “I think there are some things that Kevin and I need to discuss… alone.” She nodded reluctantly before heading towards the door. She paused for a moment before turning back and pointing at Nick and Joe.
“If I have to leave than so do they!” she said sounding like a jealous child. I nodded my head and looked towards the two who looked like they had no intention of leaving.
“Why do we…” Joe started, sounding just as childish as Meredith.
“You two leave, now!” Kevin barked, making me jump. He had barely spoken since Meredith had arrived. I wasn’t the only one surprised. Both boys jumped in surprise, but obeyed their older brother willingly. The door shut with a small click, and I could have sworn that I heard the echoes of yelling coming from the hallway, but I didn’t stop to linger on it.
I looked back to where Kevin sat leaning against the head board. We were alone. I was alone with my husband. I blushed at the thought that had just appeared in my head. He was my husband. We could do anything to one another and not be judged. I suddenly felt very warm, even though a sheet was still the only thing that covered me.
“Do you remember anything at all?” his voice suddenly pierced through my naughty thoughts. I felt like a little kids getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar. I looked back towards him again reddening even more.
“No. I mean, I remembering meeting you, and drinking large quantities of alcohol, but after that everything is fuzzy.” I felt like I was babbling, and I looked towards him to make me stop talking.
“I just wish we had something to confirm this was real. A marriage license or photo or something.” He sighed running his hand through his hair for what seemed like the millionth time. A light bulb suddenly went off with my mind. I sprang to my feet desperately looking around for my previously forgotten bag. I saw it thrown haphazardly in the corner, some of its contents scattered on the floor around it.
“My camera!” I exclaimed suddenly spotting the silver electronic device in the mess that used to be my organized purse. I grabbed it and raced to the bed to take a seat next to Kevin, who at this point was looking rather confused. “I always take TONS of pictures when I’m done.” His eyebrows raised at this but I simply waved my hand in the air dismissively.
I held the camera gingerly in my hand. This camera could hold the answers that my memory didn’t. I looked at Kevin once more before lightly pressing the on button. A picture of us popped up on the small screen. We appeared to be in a taxi or something. I clicked the next button and soon found many picture of us in the taxi. Most of them were just us making funny drunk faces, but in a few we were kissing. It was awkward to look at, but I clicked on hoping that one of them would reveal something.
In the next set of pictures we appeared to have gone from the taxi to the street. Most were blurs of random people and things, but there was one that depicted our hands intertwined. I would have considered it a sweet picture if it had been taken of anyone else. I got to the last two pictures on the camera, held my breath, and clicked the next arrows.
These were obviously taken by someone else. Kevin and I stood smiling at one another in what appeared to be a small chapel. Our hands were intertwined and a scruffy looking minister stood behind us holding a bible. The next picture showed us kissing on the altar. My breath caught in my breath as I saw it.
That was my wedding. I got married, and I wasn’t wearing my mother’s dress. My father wasn’t there to walk me down the aisle and to tell me that my mother would have been so proud. My sister wasn’t there to be my bride’s maid, to do my hair and makeup and tell me how beautiful I looked. Sophia wasn’t my flower girl. It was all wrong, all of it.
Tears unconsciously sprang to my eyes as I stared transfixed at the picture. It was real. There was no speculation to whether it was all a hoax. I pressed the off button, on my camera and sat it gently on the side table. We sat in silence again, but this time it was different. There was no awkwardness, just a sort of sadness that we both shared. We were married, and knew nothing about each other.
“Where do we go from here?” he asked quietly. We looked at each other for a moment. He looked visibly shaken. I didn’t expect that I looked much better.
“The way I see it is that we have two options. We could both go down to the courthouse right now, and get an annulment.” He nodded his head in understanding. “Or, we could get to know each other and try to make this work. That way, if we later decide to get a divorce, than at least we could say that we tried.” He nodded his head again, thinking about what to do.
“It won’t be easy you know.” He said suddenly giving me a serious look. I thought about how much older than his brothers he looked. They were all three cute, but Kevin, he looked like a man. The others were just boys. “If we tried to make this work, I mean REALLY make this work; you would have to come on tour with us. Being the wife of a rock star isn’t glamorous. We would probably have cameras following us at all times, especially because of the suddenness of our marriage. People will be bound to talk about you, and judge you without any real proof. Do you think you can handle that?”
I froze for a second, thinking about everything that I had heard. Maybe he was over exaggerating. But what if he wasn’t? Could I live like that? He made it sound so awful, could I live like that? Or would I be able to end this right now?
“OK.” I finally said, making up my mind. “If we have a marriage to make, we’re gonna have to get started right away.”