Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > When the Sky is Blue
Brendon’s POV
“Come on out of there sweetheart! I’m sure you look beautiful!” I called over the dressing room door.
“No, I look like a fat monkey!”
“That’s impossible! If I had to pick a jungle animal I would say you more of a jungle cat. Maybe one with polka dots since you have freckles on your legs and on your…”
“Brendon Boyd!’ She yelled, poking her head from out behind the door. “Don’t you go on any further!”
“I’ll keep going on and on until you step out of here in that dress.”
“No, you won’t!” She was starting to get
red in the face.
“Ummm… I think I will.”
“Brendon….”
“Well, let’s see, you also have freckles on your….”
“Okay!” she yelled, popping from out behind the door. When I saw her, I lost my breath. It completely flew from body in the form of carbon dioxide. She was dressed in a knee length green dress.
[To break you imagination, here is the inspiration for the dress… well, kind of… [http://www.nexteve.com/images/D/F6205a.JPG]
She looked up at me with hopeful eyes… and her eyes… how they did shine, especially with the green on the dress.
“See, I’m not a jungle cat baby.. I’m a big ape.”
I walked up and wrapped my arms around her beautiful self. “You are my wonderful leopard, and I’m on the prowl,” I said, sliding my hand down the back of her thigh, feeling her cold flesh beneath my fingers.
“Brendon…” she whispered in my ear, “ not here.”
“Yes here,” I said pressing my face against hers, my hands moved to the center of her back.
“There are cameras… and the paparazzi are swarming the place…”
“Let them swarm,” I said, pushing her against the door of the dressing room. She pulled away, quickly glanced around and then we both slipped inside. She seductively pushed me against the mirror and began to kiss my neck. I reached my hands back and began to undo her dress, guiding the zipper to the bottom. And in the sense of being strapless, the dress came off so easy and she was standing before me in only a pair of panties and a strapless bra. She reached out and gently touched my face.
“I love you,” she whispered.
I pulled her close to me. “As do I love you.”
Ryan’s POV
London is quite the place, actually, when it isn’t raining. I was hoping for a sunny day, but I saw that that wasn’t going to happen today. I had decided to escape that stupid hotel, to try and get away. Jon and Spencer had left to go shopping and had invited me, but I declined, telling them that I would rather stay in. I know I lied to them, but I didn’t really feel like talking about anything. I just wanted to walk around and to see the city before I had to go. I had been in and out of a coffee shop and was left to roam the streets with only my vanilla latte for company.
I strolled past a bistro, trying to focus on myself, when OK! magazine caught my eye. There on the cover was Brendon and Alena. I picked up the magazine and began to read the article…
Brendon Urie found love….
Brendon Urie of alterative rock band ‘Panic at the Disco’ was seen with alleged new girlfriend Alena Miller in a department store shopping for a dress.
That’s right folks, Alena Miller. She’s was the photographer
for PATD’s new album, ‘Pretty. Odd.’ due to come out in April. But who is this young girl?
Reporters have discovered that she is a raw talent piece from the back hills of rural U.S. state, Kansas. She is 19 years of age, fresh from high school.
But with some digging and sniffing around, we have come to discover that she tried to commit suicide during the photo shoot, where backup singer/guitarist/lyricist Ryan Ross found Miller nearly dead on the floor of her 2nd story hotel room.
Is Brendon with Miss Miller because he feels sorry for her? Where does Mr. Ross fall in place? Or does sexy frontman Brendon Urie conquer this debt? Who knows.
- X. Gregory
OK! Magazine
[Gossip Column]
I threw the magazine down onto the sidewalk and just stared at it.
“Excuse me sir,“ the vendor said. “Are you going to pay for that?” he asked. I handed him £2.50
before bending over, picking it up and walking away, taking down the sidewalk, going as fast I could toward the hotel.
Brendon’s POV
“Okay, so how are we going to get out of here?” I whispered, watching her get dressed.
“Wipe that grin off your face right now!” she scolded, her cheeks turning bright red. “You’re the genious that just had to come in to ‘help with the dress’!” she was trying to yell but trying to remain quiet at the same time. It made me laugh.
That only caused her to scowl. “Brendon Boyd! What if the camera caught us… or if someone heard us?”
“Hey,” I said casually, pulling my shirt over my head. “I can’t help it I’m so good and you moan so loud.”
That pissed her off so bad she smacked my arm, leaving a red mark the size of Alaska. “Ow baby!” I whined.
“Well, you’re not helping the situation any…”
“Excuse, Miss Miller?” The saleswoman was knocking on the dressing room door. “Are you alright? It has been nearly 30 minutes and there is another customer waiting…”
“Yes, ma’am, I’ll be out in a moment!” She called. Then she turned back to me. “Okay, I’m going out first and then you hurry out in a few minutes when I’m at the register.”
I nodded my head. “Whatever you say, babe!”
She glared at me again. “Stop that, you’re in trouble,” she chastised.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Okay… babe.”
She threw a look at me of sheer contempt before slipping out of the dressing room, dress on her arm.
I only smiled at myself. Today was a good day.
----------------------
“Now,” she said with a sigh as she sat at the table. “Can we please have a nice, uneventful lunch?”
“What fun is lunch unless you have sex on the table right in front of God and everybody?” That made her really glare at me. I was in hot water, but I didn’t mind.
“You are so damn lucky I like your sense of humor otherwise I would kill you.”
“That would murder,” I pointed out as I set my hamburger down in front of me.
“That is the point.”
“Just checkin’, making sure you knew…” I said, being playful.
She gave me the death stare. “I am well aware.”
“So, baby, I was thinking tonight we should…”
“Brendon?!” A voice came from behind me. “B! What are you up to in London?”
I turned to see that it was my good friend William Beckett, from the band ‘The Academy Is…’. “Will! Hey!” I stood up and we gave each other a quick hug.
“So, what are you up to?” he asked, sliding into the booth next to me.
“The boys and I are finishing some of the stuff for the new record and taking a mini vacation before we head out on the Honda Civic Tour.”
“That’s so cool! When is the record due out?”
“Uh… Well were hoping to put it out around March… but it could be sooner or later depending.”
“And who is this?’ he asked, pointing to Alena, who just looked star-struck.
“This is my girlfriend, Alena. She did the photographer for ‘Pretty. Odd’. She did an amazing job.”
He extended his hand and she shook it slowly. “William Beckett….” She whispered. “It’s so cool to meet you!”
“It’s always good to meet a fan!” He said with a genuine smile. “Anyways, Bren! The boys and I are having a little thing at the Ivory Rooms. You should come.”
“You? And a ‘little thing’? Those don’t mix, it’s either all or nothin’.:
“Yeah!” he said with a laugh. “You’re right! But you should come!”
“Well… Alena and I were going to have a date night and…”
“Baby,” Alena interrupted. “Go ahead and have fun! It’s totally cool! Just you and the guys! This will be your last chance to hang out before you split up on different tours.”
“Well,” William said. “We are going on Warped Tour this summer! And you guys aren’t…”
“We haven’t done Warped Tour in a long, long time…” I agreed. “And we are starting the Honda Civic Tour come spring…”
“Anyways! Back to the task at hand.” She piped in, “Brendon you are going out with your friends to that fun night club and that’s final!”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Of course,” she answered.
“She’s a keeper,” William commented.
“I know,” I said with a smile. “I am well aware.”
-------
Alena’s POV
“You look fabulous!” I said, wrapping my arms around his body. “Trust me.”
“Thanks sweetheart!” He said, turning around and kissing me cheek “And so do you.”
“Brendon, I’m in a pair of Nike shorts and a tank top. I look like normal.”
“But you always look beautiful, dear. No matter what,” he said, wrapping his warm, strong arms around my body. “I love you baby. You are more precious to me than… than music.”
I pulled myself back, awestruck. Music? He would trade music for me? “Brendon… what? No, I would never allow you to give up music, not even for me. Not for anything. You are so perfect. You are a true musician. You change people’s lives! You save lives. People listen to you when they are crying out for help. They consult your music, not me. Never say that Brendon.”
“But I mean it,” he cried, taking my hand. “If I could hold you in my arms forever, even if that meant I could never sing again, I would. I would,” he repeated, putting all of his emotion into it.
Then he took me into his arms, and lifted me from the ground, and held me so close to him. I felt the perspiration on his neck on my lips as I kissed him, and I ran my fingers through his soft brown hair.
“Be mine forever,” he pleaded, whispering into my hair. “Be mine forever and ever. Don’t leave me,” he cried, tears rolling down his gentle face.
“I won’t leave you,” I promised as he set me on the bed. He kissed me so passionately, I tasted everything. I tasted fear, love, relief, sadness, happiness, the beginning, the end – everything.
“God, I love you so much,” he said against my lips. “I love you so very much.”
“I love you too Brendon. I love you so very much.”
He smiled at me.
-KNOCK KNOCK-
“That must be Jon and the guys. We are supposed to meet Will at the Marriott in ten minutes and I don’t know if we’ll be there in time.”
“Oh, sorry I held you up!”
“Nonsense, babe. It’s my fault,” he said before kissing me on the cheek. “I’ll probably roll in late. You know how the guys can be,” he added with a wink.
“I know,” I said with a smile.
“Bye babe!”
“Bye!” I waved.
Ryan’s POV
“I’m sick, Bren!”
“You look fine!”
“Brendon, I do not feel well, please, I don’t want to go,” I pleaded.
“Whatever, you are such a baby!” he teased.
“Go away!” I said, throwing the blankets over my head.
“Fine, but someone is just lonely and refuses to do something about it.”
“Brendon, go the fuck away!” I yelled chucking a pillow at him. But he only caught it and threw it back.
“Okay, I’m going!” He said, putting his hands in the air and backing away.
“Good. But hey, is Alena going with you guys?” I asked.
“No, it’s just the guys! That’s why you should come. I bet you’ll find a nice girl.”
“No, Brendon, I don’t want to go.”
“Please?” he begged, making a puppy dog face.
“Get you of here you jerk!”
“Oh, I know!” he said with a laugh and turned to the door. “Have fun by yourself!” he called before going out the door.
“Moron!” I yelled, though he probably didn’t hear me. It was only 9:30 and I was just lying in bed. I am 21 years old! I should be up, having fun, partying, living like a real celebrity. I should be driving nice sports cars and have my own spot on MTV Cribs with some supermodel girlfriend to spend all of my money and look hot… but no. I sleep alone. My music is my life. My only home is in Las Vegas; there I am alone as well. My family is gone. My dad passed away this summer… that was tough. Like taking a knife to throat; and knowing that he hated me made it worse. I could never make him proud, no matter how hard I ever tried. I should have let him go a long time ago, but before Panic at the Disco and all of my fame, he was the only thing I ever had.
Alena’s POV
-1 New Email-
“Who is this from?” I asked myself aloud. I took my mouse and clicked on it. It was from George! He finally sent me the pictures! I couldn’t wait to open them and get started. I would surprise the whole band with what I had come up with! And then they could print out the albums! I was so excited!
-knock knock-
There was a light tap on the door. It had to be like a cleaning lady or something. I rose form my laptop and walked over and answered the door.
But that was no cleaning lady.
“Ryan…”
“Hey Alena,” he said with a small, somber smile.
“Hi,” I said after a moment. I was just stunned he was here. “Brendon isn’t here, he went with all the guys down a nightclub…”
“I know, can we talk?” he asked.
“Umm, sure, here c’mon in. Sorry it’s not cleaner. Brendon won’t let the maid come in here in case she tries to jack something…”
“It’s okay,” he said in a quiet voice.
“You can sit and chat with me while I work on the computer,” I offered.
“Sure,” he said, taking the seat across from me. “So, what are you working on?”
“Your album pictures,” I answered.
After a moment, Ryan opened his mouth as if to ask a question but quickly shut it.
“What?” I asked, though I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what it was.
“Do you ever think about us?” he asked, his voice barely audible.
“What?” I asked, and drew back in disbelief.
“Do you ever think about us?” He repeated, a little louder.
“I think about me, and then I think of you, but never are we together in my thoughts.”
Ryan kept his eyes down after I told him my answer. He seemed really upset by it.
“Ryan, I love Brendon! I love him more that anyone or anything else in the world! But Ryan, I do owe you everything. I owe so very much to you, in fact, had you not found me, I would be just another tragic teen suicide on the cover of the local newspaper, then from there, just a memory and tombstone.” His eyes were soft and sad as I spoke and his face was gentle and elegant. I reached out and placed my hand on his cheek. He then took his and placed it over mine.
“Alena, you are so beautiful. You caught my eye at that photo shoot and since then, I only dream of you. I can’t even think of other women anymore,” he rose from his seat a faced the far wall. He sighed loudly before continuing. “You don’t even get it. I couldn’t even sleep in that waiting room knowing that you could be dead. I couldn’t eat, I could hardly think, barely breathe! Every time I shut my eyes, I see you there, lying on the floor, razor still clutched in your right hand. It’s like seeing a scene from a movie, except it was real. The blood was real, your pain was real and your reason-- well that’s as real as it gets.” He turned and faced me then, tears in his large brown eyes. “When I was carrying you down to the ambulance, I didn’t care about anything else besides your life. I asked God to take me instead, to spare you and let you go on, as long as you lived. In those moments I held you nearly lifeless in my arms, I realized just how fragile life is. That it can come and be taken away so easily. My dad beat me my whole life, up until the day I left. I know what it’s like to be hurt and feel pain. But never, never,” he said, stepping forward and taking my hand in his. “Never was I ever as scared as you must have been. You were trying to escape from something. But what ever could be so horrible?”
“Myself,” I whispered. “My life is falling apart. I’m loosing my vision. I’m a photographer, an artist! I’m dying, Ryan! If I go to sleep tonight, I could possibly not wake up tomorrow! Even if I do, my vision could be stripped from me! Gone! Do you know how hard it is to live like this? Knowing that this moment could possibly be your last moment ever?”
He placed his lips against mine. He kiss was soft and gentle, but so full of pain.
“Ryan,” I whispered, tears rolling down my face. “You should go…”
He opened his eyes only for me to find that he too was crying. “No, I need you,” he whispered, placing his hands on my back. “I need you.”
“Brendon told me today he would give up music for me…” I told him. I was trying to convince him how much Brendon loved me, but I think he knew.
“I offered God my life for you,” he told me, his words warm against my cheek. “But he would not take it.”
I just wrapped my arms around him, held him close to me. I felt my heart pounding in my chest, going 100 miles an hour.
“Please,” he cried, holding me tight against him. “One night is all I ask for…” he whispered, stroking my hair. “One night is all I ask of you. I will never slip in to see you again, never again,” he said, sobbing.
“One night,” I answered. “One night only.”
-------
Brendon’s POV
“Do you love her?” Will asked me. We were sitting at the bar, and he was trying to cheer me up. I couldn’t explain why I felt so sad, but I just did. I wanted to have the time of my life here, but I couldn’t. She kept crossing my mind and I felt so bad I hadn’t taken her with me.
“Very much so,” I answered, and I did.
“I can tell,” he said.
“How?” I asked.
“Because you are normally the life of the party and you just get wasted and so into it. But here you sit, unable to drink and party just knowing she’s not with you.” I smiled up at him.
“You are right.”
“Is she the one?”
“The only one.”
“Will you let me be in you wedding?” he asked.
I laughed. “Totally!”
“You should keep her.”
“That the intention.”
-------------
Ryan’s POV
I loved her softly, not rough. I was careful with her, like a porcelain doll. When she touched me, I felt like I was soaring, flying, going faster and higher than I had ever gone before. And she called our my name in heat.
“Ryan!” she cried with agony, but she told me not stop. She wanted me to stay, to continue. One night? One night? Is that all I had really asked for? One night would never be enough…. She was too beautiful, too powerful, too awe-inspiring. She made love to me like no had ever had before. She kissed my lips, loved me. I thought she loved me, needed and wanted her to love me, truly needed her. My heart hurt at the same time though, for loving her. I thought of Brendon the whole time, how he should be the one with her, not the other way around. I was a jerk, evil. A tyrant.
I pulled out of her and pulled away.
“Ryan? Ryan what are you…”
“I can’t do this!” I cried. “Not to you, and not to Brendon. I love you, Alena, but I love Brendon too. He’s my brother, my best friend. I can’t believe I just did this…”
I began to put my jeans back on.
“Ryan, don’t leave!” she cried, pulling the sheet around her body.
“Alena, no. This was for only tonight. And it shouldn’t even had happened! What we just did was evil! Don’t you get it?” I was getting angry. “This will never work! You love Brendon with all and everything inside of you, not me! You owe me nothing, okay? I was wrong to let you think that! This was a mistake! My whole fucking life has been a mistake! I need you to love him more so now than ever. He can never know about this and it’s best we forget it too. You must love him. You have to. This is so wrong, fuck!” I yelled and threw my fist against the table. I looked at her, scared and naked on the bed, but I couldn’t pity her, not now. I couldn’t feel anything for her. She needed to be my friend, not my lover. And certainly not behind Brendon’s back. “Alena, I love you, okay? But this over.” I pulled my shirt over my head and started toward the door. I put my hand on the handle and gave one look back. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too,” she said before I stepped out into the hallway. Allowing the door to click behind me, I turned to go into my room.
I walked in and put my back against the door, then slid slowly down it and began to cry, diving into my sorrow.
"You were mine,” I sobbed. “You were mine.”
Alena’s POV
He was right. We were evil, but somehow, I didn’t feel like I regretted it.
I just buried my head into the pillow. “You were mine,” I cried. “You were mine.”
------Thank you for your patience and sorry this was not updated sooner. Thank you for reading this, though, and please review or rate and thank you to all my wonderful reviews! You guys are the best!! :]]
-Autumn Lynn
“Come on out of there sweetheart! I’m sure you look beautiful!” I called over the dressing room door.
“No, I look like a fat monkey!”
“That’s impossible! If I had to pick a jungle animal I would say you more of a jungle cat. Maybe one with polka dots since you have freckles on your legs and on your…”
“Brendon Boyd!’ She yelled, poking her head from out behind the door. “Don’t you go on any further!”
“I’ll keep going on and on until you step out of here in that dress.”
“No, you won’t!” She was starting to get
red in the face.
“Ummm… I think I will.”
“Brendon….”
“Well, let’s see, you also have freckles on your….”
“Okay!” she yelled, popping from out behind the door. When I saw her, I lost my breath. It completely flew from body in the form of carbon dioxide. She was dressed in a knee length green dress.
[To break you imagination, here is the inspiration for the dress… well, kind of… [http://www.nexteve.com/images/D/F6205a.JPG]
She looked up at me with hopeful eyes… and her eyes… how they did shine, especially with the green on the dress.
“See, I’m not a jungle cat baby.. I’m a big ape.”
I walked up and wrapped my arms around her beautiful self. “You are my wonderful leopard, and I’m on the prowl,” I said, sliding my hand down the back of her thigh, feeling her cold flesh beneath my fingers.
“Brendon…” she whispered in my ear, “ not here.”
“Yes here,” I said pressing my face against hers, my hands moved to the center of her back.
“There are cameras… and the paparazzi are swarming the place…”
“Let them swarm,” I said, pushing her against the door of the dressing room. She pulled away, quickly glanced around and then we both slipped inside. She seductively pushed me against the mirror and began to kiss my neck. I reached my hands back and began to undo her dress, guiding the zipper to the bottom. And in the sense of being strapless, the dress came off so easy and she was standing before me in only a pair of panties and a strapless bra. She reached out and gently touched my face.
“I love you,” she whispered.
I pulled her close to me. “As do I love you.”
Ryan’s POV
London is quite the place, actually, when it isn’t raining. I was hoping for a sunny day, but I saw that that wasn’t going to happen today. I had decided to escape that stupid hotel, to try and get away. Jon and Spencer had left to go shopping and had invited me, but I declined, telling them that I would rather stay in. I know I lied to them, but I didn’t really feel like talking about anything. I just wanted to walk around and to see the city before I had to go. I had been in and out of a coffee shop and was left to roam the streets with only my vanilla latte for company.
I strolled past a bistro, trying to focus on myself, when OK! magazine caught my eye. There on the cover was Brendon and Alena. I picked up the magazine and began to read the article…
Brendon Urie found love….
Brendon Urie of alterative rock band ‘Panic at the Disco’ was seen with alleged new girlfriend Alena Miller in a department store shopping for a dress.
That’s right folks, Alena Miller. She’s was the photographer
for PATD’s new album, ‘Pretty. Odd.’ due to come out in April. But who is this young girl?
Reporters have discovered that she is a raw talent piece from the back hills of rural U.S. state, Kansas. She is 19 years of age, fresh from high school.
But with some digging and sniffing around, we have come to discover that she tried to commit suicide during the photo shoot, where backup singer/guitarist/lyricist Ryan Ross found Miller nearly dead on the floor of her 2nd story hotel room.
Is Brendon with Miss Miller because he feels sorry for her? Where does Mr. Ross fall in place? Or does sexy frontman Brendon Urie conquer this debt? Who knows.
- X. Gregory
OK! Magazine
[Gossip Column]
I threw the magazine down onto the sidewalk and just stared at it.
“Excuse me sir,“ the vendor said. “Are you going to pay for that?” he asked. I handed him £2.50
before bending over, picking it up and walking away, taking down the sidewalk, going as fast I could toward the hotel.
Brendon’s POV
“Okay, so how are we going to get out of here?” I whispered, watching her get dressed.
“Wipe that grin off your face right now!” she scolded, her cheeks turning bright red. “You’re the genious that just had to come in to ‘help with the dress’!” she was trying to yell but trying to remain quiet at the same time. It made me laugh.
That only caused her to scowl. “Brendon Boyd! What if the camera caught us… or if someone heard us?”
“Hey,” I said casually, pulling my shirt over my head. “I can’t help it I’m so good and you moan so loud.”
That pissed her off so bad she smacked my arm, leaving a red mark the size of Alaska. “Ow baby!” I whined.
“Well, you’re not helping the situation any…”
“Excuse, Miss Miller?” The saleswoman was knocking on the dressing room door. “Are you alright? It has been nearly 30 minutes and there is another customer waiting…”
“Yes, ma’am, I’ll be out in a moment!” She called. Then she turned back to me. “Okay, I’m going out first and then you hurry out in a few minutes when I’m at the register.”
I nodded my head. “Whatever you say, babe!”
She glared at me again. “Stop that, you’re in trouble,” she chastised.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Okay… babe.”
She threw a look at me of sheer contempt before slipping out of the dressing room, dress on her arm.
I only smiled at myself. Today was a good day.
----------------------
“Now,” she said with a sigh as she sat at the table. “Can we please have a nice, uneventful lunch?”
“What fun is lunch unless you have sex on the table right in front of God and everybody?” That made her really glare at me. I was in hot water, but I didn’t mind.
“You are so damn lucky I like your sense of humor otherwise I would kill you.”
“That would murder,” I pointed out as I set my hamburger down in front of me.
“That is the point.”
“Just checkin’, making sure you knew…” I said, being playful.
She gave me the death stare. “I am well aware.”
“So, baby, I was thinking tonight we should…”
“Brendon?!” A voice came from behind me. “B! What are you up to in London?”
I turned to see that it was my good friend William Beckett, from the band ‘The Academy Is…’. “Will! Hey!” I stood up and we gave each other a quick hug.
“So, what are you up to?” he asked, sliding into the booth next to me.
“The boys and I are finishing some of the stuff for the new record and taking a mini vacation before we head out on the Honda Civic Tour.”
“That’s so cool! When is the record due out?”
“Uh… Well were hoping to put it out around March… but it could be sooner or later depending.”
“And who is this?’ he asked, pointing to Alena, who just looked star-struck.
“This is my girlfriend, Alena. She did the photographer for ‘Pretty. Odd’. She did an amazing job.”
He extended his hand and she shook it slowly. “William Beckett….” She whispered. “It’s so cool to meet you!”
“It’s always good to meet a fan!” He said with a genuine smile. “Anyways, Bren! The boys and I are having a little thing at the Ivory Rooms. You should come.”
“You? And a ‘little thing’? Those don’t mix, it’s either all or nothin’.:
“Yeah!” he said with a laugh. “You’re right! But you should come!”
“Well… Alena and I were going to have a date night and…”
“Baby,” Alena interrupted. “Go ahead and have fun! It’s totally cool! Just you and the guys! This will be your last chance to hang out before you split up on different tours.”
“Well,” William said. “We are going on Warped Tour this summer! And you guys aren’t…”
“We haven’t done Warped Tour in a long, long time…” I agreed. “And we are starting the Honda Civic Tour come spring…”
“Anyways! Back to the task at hand.” She piped in, “Brendon you are going out with your friends to that fun night club and that’s final!”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Of course,” she answered.
“She’s a keeper,” William commented.
“I know,” I said with a smile. “I am well aware.”
-------
Alena’s POV
“You look fabulous!” I said, wrapping my arms around his body. “Trust me.”
“Thanks sweetheart!” He said, turning around and kissing me cheek “And so do you.”
“Brendon, I’m in a pair of Nike shorts and a tank top. I look like normal.”
“But you always look beautiful, dear. No matter what,” he said, wrapping his warm, strong arms around my body. “I love you baby. You are more precious to me than… than music.”
I pulled myself back, awestruck. Music? He would trade music for me? “Brendon… what? No, I would never allow you to give up music, not even for me. Not for anything. You are so perfect. You are a true musician. You change people’s lives! You save lives. People listen to you when they are crying out for help. They consult your music, not me. Never say that Brendon.”
“But I mean it,” he cried, taking my hand. “If I could hold you in my arms forever, even if that meant I could never sing again, I would. I would,” he repeated, putting all of his emotion into it.
Then he took me into his arms, and lifted me from the ground, and held me so close to him. I felt the perspiration on his neck on my lips as I kissed him, and I ran my fingers through his soft brown hair.
“Be mine forever,” he pleaded, whispering into my hair. “Be mine forever and ever. Don’t leave me,” he cried, tears rolling down his gentle face.
“I won’t leave you,” I promised as he set me on the bed. He kissed me so passionately, I tasted everything. I tasted fear, love, relief, sadness, happiness, the beginning, the end – everything.
“God, I love you so much,” he said against my lips. “I love you so very much.”
“I love you too Brendon. I love you so very much.”
He smiled at me.
-KNOCK KNOCK-
“That must be Jon and the guys. We are supposed to meet Will at the Marriott in ten minutes and I don’t know if we’ll be there in time.”
“Oh, sorry I held you up!”
“Nonsense, babe. It’s my fault,” he said before kissing me on the cheek. “I’ll probably roll in late. You know how the guys can be,” he added with a wink.
“I know,” I said with a smile.
“Bye babe!”
“Bye!” I waved.
Ryan’s POV
“I’m sick, Bren!”
“You look fine!”
“Brendon, I do not feel well, please, I don’t want to go,” I pleaded.
“Whatever, you are such a baby!” he teased.
“Go away!” I said, throwing the blankets over my head.
“Fine, but someone is just lonely and refuses to do something about it.”
“Brendon, go the fuck away!” I yelled chucking a pillow at him. But he only caught it and threw it back.
“Okay, I’m going!” He said, putting his hands in the air and backing away.
“Good. But hey, is Alena going with you guys?” I asked.
“No, it’s just the guys! That’s why you should come. I bet you’ll find a nice girl.”
“No, Brendon, I don’t want to go.”
“Please?” he begged, making a puppy dog face.
“Get you of here you jerk!”
“Oh, I know!” he said with a laugh and turned to the door. “Have fun by yourself!” he called before going out the door.
“Moron!” I yelled, though he probably didn’t hear me. It was only 9:30 and I was just lying in bed. I am 21 years old! I should be up, having fun, partying, living like a real celebrity. I should be driving nice sports cars and have my own spot on MTV Cribs with some supermodel girlfriend to spend all of my money and look hot… but no. I sleep alone. My music is my life. My only home is in Las Vegas; there I am alone as well. My family is gone. My dad passed away this summer… that was tough. Like taking a knife to throat; and knowing that he hated me made it worse. I could never make him proud, no matter how hard I ever tried. I should have let him go a long time ago, but before Panic at the Disco and all of my fame, he was the only thing I ever had.
Alena’s POV
-1 New Email-
“Who is this from?” I asked myself aloud. I took my mouse and clicked on it. It was from George! He finally sent me the pictures! I couldn’t wait to open them and get started. I would surprise the whole band with what I had come up with! And then they could print out the albums! I was so excited!
-knock knock-
There was a light tap on the door. It had to be like a cleaning lady or something. I rose form my laptop and walked over and answered the door.
But that was no cleaning lady.
“Ryan…”
“Hey Alena,” he said with a small, somber smile.
“Hi,” I said after a moment. I was just stunned he was here. “Brendon isn’t here, he went with all the guys down a nightclub…”
“I know, can we talk?” he asked.
“Umm, sure, here c’mon in. Sorry it’s not cleaner. Brendon won’t let the maid come in here in case she tries to jack something…”
“It’s okay,” he said in a quiet voice.
“You can sit and chat with me while I work on the computer,” I offered.
“Sure,” he said, taking the seat across from me. “So, what are you working on?”
“Your album pictures,” I answered.
After a moment, Ryan opened his mouth as if to ask a question but quickly shut it.
“What?” I asked, though I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what it was.
“Do you ever think about us?” he asked, his voice barely audible.
“What?” I asked, and drew back in disbelief.
“Do you ever think about us?” He repeated, a little louder.
“I think about me, and then I think of you, but never are we together in my thoughts.”
Ryan kept his eyes down after I told him my answer. He seemed really upset by it.
“Ryan, I love Brendon! I love him more that anyone or anything else in the world! But Ryan, I do owe you everything. I owe so very much to you, in fact, had you not found me, I would be just another tragic teen suicide on the cover of the local newspaper, then from there, just a memory and tombstone.” His eyes were soft and sad as I spoke and his face was gentle and elegant. I reached out and placed my hand on his cheek. He then took his and placed it over mine.
“Alena, you are so beautiful. You caught my eye at that photo shoot and since then, I only dream of you. I can’t even think of other women anymore,” he rose from his seat a faced the far wall. He sighed loudly before continuing. “You don’t even get it. I couldn’t even sleep in that waiting room knowing that you could be dead. I couldn’t eat, I could hardly think, barely breathe! Every time I shut my eyes, I see you there, lying on the floor, razor still clutched in your right hand. It’s like seeing a scene from a movie, except it was real. The blood was real, your pain was real and your reason-- well that’s as real as it gets.” He turned and faced me then, tears in his large brown eyes. “When I was carrying you down to the ambulance, I didn’t care about anything else besides your life. I asked God to take me instead, to spare you and let you go on, as long as you lived. In those moments I held you nearly lifeless in my arms, I realized just how fragile life is. That it can come and be taken away so easily. My dad beat me my whole life, up until the day I left. I know what it’s like to be hurt and feel pain. But never, never,” he said, stepping forward and taking my hand in his. “Never was I ever as scared as you must have been. You were trying to escape from something. But what ever could be so horrible?”
“Myself,” I whispered. “My life is falling apart. I’m loosing my vision. I’m a photographer, an artist! I’m dying, Ryan! If I go to sleep tonight, I could possibly not wake up tomorrow! Even if I do, my vision could be stripped from me! Gone! Do you know how hard it is to live like this? Knowing that this moment could possibly be your last moment ever?”
He placed his lips against mine. He kiss was soft and gentle, but so full of pain.
“Ryan,” I whispered, tears rolling down my face. “You should go…”
He opened his eyes only for me to find that he too was crying. “No, I need you,” he whispered, placing his hands on my back. “I need you.”
“Brendon told me today he would give up music for me…” I told him. I was trying to convince him how much Brendon loved me, but I think he knew.
“I offered God my life for you,” he told me, his words warm against my cheek. “But he would not take it.”
I just wrapped my arms around him, held him close to me. I felt my heart pounding in my chest, going 100 miles an hour.
“Please,” he cried, holding me tight against him. “One night is all I ask for…” he whispered, stroking my hair. “One night is all I ask of you. I will never slip in to see you again, never again,” he said, sobbing.
“One night,” I answered. “One night only.”
-------
Brendon’s POV
“Do you love her?” Will asked me. We were sitting at the bar, and he was trying to cheer me up. I couldn’t explain why I felt so sad, but I just did. I wanted to have the time of my life here, but I couldn’t. She kept crossing my mind and I felt so bad I hadn’t taken her with me.
“Very much so,” I answered, and I did.
“I can tell,” he said.
“How?” I asked.
“Because you are normally the life of the party and you just get wasted and so into it. But here you sit, unable to drink and party just knowing she’s not with you.” I smiled up at him.
“You are right.”
“Is she the one?”
“The only one.”
“Will you let me be in you wedding?” he asked.
I laughed. “Totally!”
“You should keep her.”
“That the intention.”
-------------
Ryan’s POV
I loved her softly, not rough. I was careful with her, like a porcelain doll. When she touched me, I felt like I was soaring, flying, going faster and higher than I had ever gone before. And she called our my name in heat.
“Ryan!” she cried with agony, but she told me not stop. She wanted me to stay, to continue. One night? One night? Is that all I had really asked for? One night would never be enough…. She was too beautiful, too powerful, too awe-inspiring. She made love to me like no had ever had before. She kissed my lips, loved me. I thought she loved me, needed and wanted her to love me, truly needed her. My heart hurt at the same time though, for loving her. I thought of Brendon the whole time, how he should be the one with her, not the other way around. I was a jerk, evil. A tyrant.
I pulled out of her and pulled away.
“Ryan? Ryan what are you…”
“I can’t do this!” I cried. “Not to you, and not to Brendon. I love you, Alena, but I love Brendon too. He’s my brother, my best friend. I can’t believe I just did this…”
I began to put my jeans back on.
“Ryan, don’t leave!” she cried, pulling the sheet around her body.
“Alena, no. This was for only tonight. And it shouldn’t even had happened! What we just did was evil! Don’t you get it?” I was getting angry. “This will never work! You love Brendon with all and everything inside of you, not me! You owe me nothing, okay? I was wrong to let you think that! This was a mistake! My whole fucking life has been a mistake! I need you to love him more so now than ever. He can never know about this and it’s best we forget it too. You must love him. You have to. This is so wrong, fuck!” I yelled and threw my fist against the table. I looked at her, scared and naked on the bed, but I couldn’t pity her, not now. I couldn’t feel anything for her. She needed to be my friend, not my lover. And certainly not behind Brendon’s back. “Alena, I love you, okay? But this over.” I pulled my shirt over my head and started toward the door. I put my hand on the handle and gave one look back. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too,” she said before I stepped out into the hallway. Allowing the door to click behind me, I turned to go into my room.
I walked in and put my back against the door, then slid slowly down it and began to cry, diving into my sorrow.
"You were mine,” I sobbed. “You were mine.”
Alena’s POV
He was right. We were evil, but somehow, I didn’t feel like I regretted it.
I just buried my head into the pillow. “You were mine,” I cried. “You were mine.”
------Thank you for your patience and sorry this was not updated sooner. Thank you for reading this, though, and please review or rate and thank you to all my wonderful reviews! You guys are the best!! :]]
-Autumn Lynn
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