Categories > Anime/Manga > Inuyasha > The Modern Story Of Inuyasha
Chapter 5: The Morning That Never Came
That next morning at school, there was no sign of Kikyo. Nobody knew where she was, and quite frankly, I don’t thing anyone cared at the moment. Hell, I didn’t really care at the time if she was even alive. Both Sango and Miroku came up to me and told me that they were sorry about hearing what Kikyo had done, and I told them it was alright and that it didn’t matter anymore. I took advantage of this and hung out with my friends like the good old days. Man, that day was relaxing… for a while. I remember that day so well. It was Friday, and when school had let out, I asked if everyone wanted to come over to my house. So we started walking to my place just to hang out for a while. Once we got to my house, I noticed that there was a note sitting at my door. I picked it up as we all walked inside. We got into the living room and we all sat down. Sango had noticed the letter in my hand. “What’s that?” she asked me. I replied “I have no idea. I just found in sitting on my front door.” Kagome took it out of my hand for a second and looked at it. “Hmm… it says its from Kikyo.” she said, handing it back to me. I quickly grabbed the letter and opened it. I sat there and read it to myself……………… I was not expecting what I saw written on the page.
I sat there silent for a moment or to in shock at what I had just read. Miroku asked me, “So what does it say?” I couldn’t say it. I was in complete shock. But I still responded. “It’s… it’s…. a suicide note from Kikyo…” my voice trailed off. The others sat there in shock as they adsorbed what I had told them. After a minute of silence, tears started coming to my eyes. Both Sango and Miroku left to give me some space, but Kagome stayed. She sat there as I started to cry.
“Inuyasha, are you gonna be okay?”
I was quiet at first, but then I mumbled to her, “I never got to talk to her… she had to betray me and then kill herself for it. I knew I should’ve talked to her last night. None of this would’ve ever happened if I had just had the strength to talk to her last night…”
Kagome had cut me off. “Don’t blame it on yourself. She was the one who was cheating on you in the first place. This would’ve been all avoided if she hadn’t of cheated…”
“But I could’ve just talked to her last night and prevented her from doing this. I’m sure that she would’ve never killed herself if I had talked to her…”
“Inuyasha, I know you. You were very hurt last night. In fact, you were so hurt I held you in my arms as you cried in my shoulder. The last time I remember doing that was when you found out your mother had died. And that’s something you’ve never let go of. You wouldn’t of lasted trying to talked to her at all last night…”
The room fell silent again, only this time, my tears had turned to fucking pouring rain. I was so pissed off at not just myself, but the world. After a few minutes, I asked Kagome if she could leave, because I needed some time alone. She understood and left. The next two days would turn out to be the absolute worst ever.
Now let me tell you something before I continue. Most people often think that men never cry at all. Let me tell you that that is total bullshit. Of course there are times where you are going to cry. This situation was one that I did cry, yet at the same time, I was so fucking pissed off at the whole world. I was completely torn up about this. I sat there for the whole weekend with my jaw clenched, my stomach burning up, my head felt like it was about to fucking explode, and my throat fucking sore from all the screaming I did.
Hey, remember when I said that I had started writing songs and shit. Well, this is where I wrote the scariest fucking song ever. I had simply titled it “If”. I wrote it in the midst of all my crying, screaming, and beating myself up mentally and physically. I had gashed myself at least 6 or seven times. I was going out of my fucking mind. And this song explained what all was running through my head those days. Because if I had the chance to bring you back, I would take my life to keep you alive.
It took me until Sunday to finally get out of my house. The first place I went to, Kagome’s house. I got her, Miroku, and Sango together and we talked about what had happened that Friday. They all tried their best to help me though it. Even though I don’t think they realized it at first, but just hanging out with them and them having my back already made me feel much better. Eventually, I overcame that obstacle. We buried her right next to my mother, because she was that important to me. Eventually, we finally finished Middle School and moved on to the four most challenging, yet most rewarding years in my life…
That next morning at school, there was no sign of Kikyo. Nobody knew where she was, and quite frankly, I don’t thing anyone cared at the moment. Hell, I didn’t really care at the time if she was even alive. Both Sango and Miroku came up to me and told me that they were sorry about hearing what Kikyo had done, and I told them it was alright and that it didn’t matter anymore. I took advantage of this and hung out with my friends like the good old days. Man, that day was relaxing… for a while. I remember that day so well. It was Friday, and when school had let out, I asked if everyone wanted to come over to my house. So we started walking to my place just to hang out for a while. Once we got to my house, I noticed that there was a note sitting at my door. I picked it up as we all walked inside. We got into the living room and we all sat down. Sango had noticed the letter in my hand. “What’s that?” she asked me. I replied “I have no idea. I just found in sitting on my front door.” Kagome took it out of my hand for a second and looked at it. “Hmm… it says its from Kikyo.” she said, handing it back to me. I quickly grabbed the letter and opened it. I sat there and read it to myself……………… I was not expecting what I saw written on the page.
I sat there silent for a moment or to in shock at what I had just read. Miroku asked me, “So what does it say?” I couldn’t say it. I was in complete shock. But I still responded. “It’s… it’s…. a suicide note from Kikyo…” my voice trailed off. The others sat there in shock as they adsorbed what I had told them. After a minute of silence, tears started coming to my eyes. Both Sango and Miroku left to give me some space, but Kagome stayed. She sat there as I started to cry.
“Inuyasha, are you gonna be okay?”
I was quiet at first, but then I mumbled to her, “I never got to talk to her… she had to betray me and then kill herself for it. I knew I should’ve talked to her last night. None of this would’ve ever happened if I had just had the strength to talk to her last night…”
Kagome had cut me off. “Don’t blame it on yourself. She was the one who was cheating on you in the first place. This would’ve been all avoided if she hadn’t of cheated…”
“But I could’ve just talked to her last night and prevented her from doing this. I’m sure that she would’ve never killed herself if I had talked to her…”
“Inuyasha, I know you. You were very hurt last night. In fact, you were so hurt I held you in my arms as you cried in my shoulder. The last time I remember doing that was when you found out your mother had died. And that’s something you’ve never let go of. You wouldn’t of lasted trying to talked to her at all last night…”
The room fell silent again, only this time, my tears had turned to fucking pouring rain. I was so pissed off at not just myself, but the world. After a few minutes, I asked Kagome if she could leave, because I needed some time alone. She understood and left. The next two days would turn out to be the absolute worst ever.
Now let me tell you something before I continue. Most people often think that men never cry at all. Let me tell you that that is total bullshit. Of course there are times where you are going to cry. This situation was one that I did cry, yet at the same time, I was so fucking pissed off at the whole world. I was completely torn up about this. I sat there for the whole weekend with my jaw clenched, my stomach burning up, my head felt like it was about to fucking explode, and my throat fucking sore from all the screaming I did.
Hey, remember when I said that I had started writing songs and shit. Well, this is where I wrote the scariest fucking song ever. I had simply titled it “If”. I wrote it in the midst of all my crying, screaming, and beating myself up mentally and physically. I had gashed myself at least 6 or seven times. I was going out of my fucking mind. And this song explained what all was running through my head those days. Because if I had the chance to bring you back, I would take my life to keep you alive.
It took me until Sunday to finally get out of my house. The first place I went to, Kagome’s house. I got her, Miroku, and Sango together and we talked about what had happened that Friday. They all tried their best to help me though it. Even though I don’t think they realized it at first, but just hanging out with them and them having my back already made me feel much better. Eventually, I overcame that obstacle. We buried her right next to my mother, because she was that important to me. Eventually, we finally finished Middle School and moved on to the four most challenging, yet most rewarding years in my life…
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