Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Soul Purpose
A/N: Oooh, this story is officially a monster now! I can't believe I've written over 100,000 words! Yay mee!
31. Property]
“Hey, guys!” Defne called as she poked her head into the hotel room Frank and Ray were sharing. Or at least, only the two of them were supposed to be sharing the room. Currently, Gerard, Mikey and Bob were also scattered across the room.
All five of them were happily indulging in off-day fun. Which naturally meant they were playing computer games. Need For Speed Carbon, from the looks of it.
Upon noticing her presence, they waved at her, mumbling hellos and turning their attention back to the computer screens soon after. She smiled and stepped into the room.
“Sooo, who’s beating who?” she asked.
“Bob’s already beaten us all,” Mikey mumbled, defeated.
“Hell yeah!” Bob agreed in a smug tone, “They’re still trying to defend their honor, though.”
She walked over to where Ray and Bob were caught up in an exciting circuit race, watching them with enthusiasm for a while.
“Is this the best you can do?” she asked, grinning, “I bet I could beat you all.”
Frank chimed in from his place curled up against the headboard.
“You know what? I’ve been telling Bob that some day I’m gonna bring Jamia to race against him. She’s really good at these games… So if you think you can kick ass, I’ll gladly give my turn up to you so that I can see this man beaten for once.”
She chuckled as she leaned in to kiss Gerard’s cheek. He mumbled something incoherent, his eyes still glued to the screen, desperately trying to get rid of Mikey who was tailing him.
“I’d love to stay and beat him for good but I actually came to steal you,” she responded.
“Huh?” asked Gerard, finishing the race 2 seconds before Mikey, looking up to see if she had an expression on her face that meant she wanted to have her wicked way with him.
She smiled down at him affectionately and ruffled his hair.
“No,” she said, “I came to steal Frank, if that’s okay with everyone. Or do you really need another lousy racer?”
“Hey!” Frank protested, scowling at her.
She smiled innocently at him. “It’s the truth, you know it.”
“Yeah, whatever, take him,” said Bob, “He moves around on the bed too much, anyway. It’s distracting.”
Frank jumped up on the bed and slapped the drummer on the back.
“Now you just hurt my feelings Bob-o,” he announced, smirking, “You’re gonna hand me over to this scary woman without a question?”
Bob shrugged as Gerard stared at Defne, frowning slightly. Feeling his gaze on her face, she glanced down once more and saw his expression. He couldn’t possibly be jealous! She smiled down at him warmly and ducked her head to kiss him lightly. His hand reached to dip her face lower so that he can deepen the kiss. He was feeling possessive.
She chuckled and he joined her as they finally broke the kiss.
“I just need his help with something,” she announced finally and Frank jumped up on his feet energetically.
“Frankenstein’s at your service!” he declared, puffing up his chest with pride.
She giggled and they made their way out of the room.
-----
Frank blinked at her in surprise.
“So, you wanna know if there’s a tattoo parlor around here somewhere?” he asked to check if he understood correctly.
“Yepp,” she answered, nodding.
“Let me get this straight. You wanna get Gerard’s drawing tattooed?”
She nodded again, blushing this time.
Frank let out a high-pitched giggle.
“That’s too cute!” he exclaimed, his eyes wild with excitement.
Defne blushed some more and glared at him in the end.
“You have your girlfriend’s name tattooed on your chest. Why can’t I have my boyfriend’s drawing on mine?” she asked crankily.
Frank tried to stop his giggling as he answered.
“I didn’t say you can’t have it, you can. I’m just saying you’re so cute. And the birds are adorable,” he said, his eyes flicking towards the drawing on the table, still grinning. But then his grin faded around the edges a bit.
“Wait,” he gasped, “You’re gonna get it on your chest, too?”
She frowned, thinking about it one more time. Then she let out an exasperated sigh, burying her hands in her hair and yanking.
“I dunno,” she admitted, “I’ve thought about it…”
“And?” Frank encouraged, eyebrows high in the air.
She shrugged helplessly.
“I dunno if it would look good with, you know, my breasts and all…”
The tiny guitarist’s lips closed in a tight frown, his eyes unconsciously wandering over her chest.
“I think it might look a bit lop-sided,” he let out at last, “Not to mention that it would hurt too fucking much. I don’t think you should feel so much pain getting your first tattoo, you might shy awa –”
“It won’t be my first tattoo” she said, cutting him of.
Frank’s eyes opened in disbelief, his lips pursed.
“Really?” he asked excitedly.
She nodded silently.
“Well, where’s the other one?” he asked impatiently.
“It’s on my back.”
The guitarist narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously.
“Don’t tell me it’s a butterfly on your hip. You can’t have a tramp stamp!” he cried, his hands gesturing wildly around the place.
She laughed out loud at his reaction.
“Ughh Frank, calm the fuck down!” she yelled between her laughter, “I don’t have a tramp stamp.”
He raised his eyebrows at her in question.
“It’s a full back tattoo,” she explained.
His eyes nearly bulged out of his head.
“Wow, I’m impressed… Can I see it?” he asked tentatively.
She bit her lip and tried not to blush again. There was no need to turn such an innocent request into an awkwardness marathon. “Ummm… I guess you can see most of it if I lift my T-shirt a bit.”
She turned her back and lifted her shirt for him to be able to see the tattoo.
Frank let out a low whistle. “Wooow… that’s. That’s beautiful.”
“Thanks,” she murmured.
“And not to mention, huge.”
They both chuckled and she finally readjusted her shirt and turned back again to face him.
“And you kept this huge-ass tattoo a secret all this time!” he stated, shaking his head, “I’m truly disappointed.”
She rolled her eyes and punched him on the shoulder lightly.
“So…” she began, “You never answered my question. Do you know a tattoo parlor here?”
Frank shot her the smuggest grin.
“It’s your lucky day!” he exclaimed.
And they left her room as soon as she had carefully placed Gerard’s drawing in her messenger bag.
Frank smirked at her evilly as they got out of the hotel hurriedly.
“You’re gonna get your second tattoo, Deff,” he stated, as if there was a hidden meaning behind his words.
“So?” she asked him, confused.
“Once you get your second tattoo, it means you’re gonna keep using your body as a canvas forever.”
“What?” she asked.
Frank wrapped an air of expertise around him as he responded.
“There are people with no tattoos. Then there are people with only one tattoo. And then there are people, like myself, with many tattoos,” he told her, his pupils alight with joy, “Once you cross the “second tattoo barrier”, you just keep adding more and more to the collection.”
She laughed, wondering if that would be the case for her, too.
-----
Defne managed to slip back into her room without coming across Gerard. She went to the bathroom and examined her upper left arm. She smiled at the image of the budgies, admiring her shiny new tattoo.
Meanwhile Gerard cornered Frank to see what the two of them were up to all day long. Frank just shrugged and told him she needed his opinion on what to buy Toro on his birthday. Of course since she was going to buy something guitar-related, she needed his expertise on the subject.
Gerard never suspected a thing. So he didn’t rush into her room, knowing she had an interview soon. He thought she’d need time to get ready. Though he was curious about what she’d gotten for Ray. Oh well, he’d learn soon enough anyway…
-----
The interviewer sat in front of her, making himself comfortable in his chair. She fidgeted on her seat. She still couldn’t help feeling a bit shy during interviews. Even if just for those few minutes right before the first question came. And the presence of a camera made it all the more difficult for her to stay perfectly calm.
The cameraman told them they were recording and the interviewer started speaking.
“Hello everyone! Here we are with Defne Yalcin, Gerard Way’s official girlfriend –”
She stiffened at the statement. ‘Defne Yalcin – Gerard Way’s official girlfriend’? What the fuck? What happened to Defne Yalcin of Soul Purpose? She felt a wave of anger rise up inside her, reaching her hands and making them tremble. She could literally hear the blood pumping in her ears. What had she done wrong to deserve to be introduced merely as someone’s girlfriend? Didn’t these people see that she had a perfectly good identity of her own?
“ – few questions for her and she seems eager enough to answer them!” he exclaimed, turning to face her. But, too absorbed in her inner temper tantrum, she was failing to look friendly and relaxed. Upon noticing the confused look on the interviewer’s face, she took a deep breath and forced herself to give him a friendly smile that didn’t reach her eyes at all.
“Hi, Defne!” he greeted with an overly-enthusiastic voice.
“Hi,” she responded, with a touch of solid coldness in her tone.
The interviewer frowned but kept talking.
“Well, actually, you look a bit down. Has it been a hard day?”
She shook her head and couldn’t keep her mouth from forming the words.
“No, it was a perfectly fine day. It’s just that… I just wanna ask, what happened to ‘Defne Yalcin of Soul Purpose’?”
He blinked back at her, taken aback by her unexpected bluntness.
“Excuse me?” he asked politely.
She shook her head. She hadn’t meant to be a bitch. But then he shouldn’t have made her so angry.
“I mean… isn’t that the proper way you’re supposed to introduce me?” she asked, forcing her voice to sound lighter, flashing an emotionless smile.
The irritating man blinked at her again.
“I’m sorry,” he started, “What did I say?”
She stared at him for one moment and huffed out an annoyed breath, shaking her head again. He didn’t even know he’d done it. She was embedded in the guy’s mind as ‘Gerard Way’s girlfriend’.
“You know what?” she said, tossing her hair away from her face with a sharp movement of practiced ease, “Forget it… Let’s just move on to the questions.”
The guy nodded and flashed a brilliant smile for the camera.
“All right, so, everyone’s been wondering about how you and Gerard happened exactly.”
It took every ounce of willpower she had not to stand up and attack the guy right then and there, in front of the camera and all. She took several breaths and forced her inner demon to calm down, to go back to the place she had crawled out of. She didn’t really comply, but instead, preferred to crouch in the dark silently, waiting for the final blow to come.
“Ummm… I really don’t wanna talk about that, if it’s okay with you. I mean, what we have is personal and we’d like to keep it that way.”
She thought she sounded civilized enough. The interviewer recovered soon enough and moved onto another question.
“Oh, yeah, of course. That’s totally cool. So yeah, what about a future record? When are you planning to record one?”
She gave him an approving smile before answering.
“Umm, the tour’s gonna be over the first week of August so… I think we’ll move right onto the recording after that. Cause we already have the songs ready, though we’re currently working on a few more. So, I guess after a brief period of choosing and rearranging… I dunno, I can tell you that we’ll start recording as soon as possible but I don’t know when the album will be out.”
“Oh, have you decided on the contract offers then?”
“Uhh, yeah,” she said and told him the name of the label they were now officially going to be signed to.
After that, he asked her a few more questions about the band and the label and the album, carefully avoiding the G-word, until he noticed her brand new tattoo. Of course he asked her about it, too.
“I got this one only today, actually,” she confessed.
“Oh really?” he asked in fake surprise. She didn’t know why he seemed so fake to her eyes. Maybe it was because she already held a grudge against him. Well, he deserved it.
“Yeah, I arrived at the hotel a few hours ago. I was at the tattoo parlor.”
“Is that your only tattoo?”
“Uhh, no. I have another, bigger one on my back.”
“Can we see it?” he asked, his eyes excited – with the knowledge that he’d found something never-before-seen to show on screen.
Defne gave him a tight smile.
“I don’t really think so,” she said apologetically, “I’d have to take off my shirt.”
“It’s that big?”
“It’s a full back tattoo.”
“Wow, that’s awesome. Hey, maybe we could zoom in on that new one then?” he asked politely.
“Sure.”
And she turned sideways in her seat for the camera to be able to zoom in on her upper arm.
“They’re really cute little things,” the interviewer commented on the budgies.
“Yeah, they are,” she said, “I actually saw them in a pet shop once.”
“So you sketched them?” he asked, intrigued this time, and sounding sincere enough.
“No, Gerard did,” she answered and bit her lip immediately. She hadn’t wanted that to slip out. The interviewer was already a dick about her relationship with Gerard. She was so stupid to bring up the subject herself.
Just then, she heard the interviewer chuckle.
“Oh, he sketched them for you, huh?”
She nodded her head reluctantly, wishing he would leave it at that.
But she had no such luck. And thus, she had to spend the next half an hour trying to dodge clever questions about her and Gerard.
-----
After the interview, she walked into her hotel room crankily, closing the door with a loud bang as she entered the room. She had decided to skip dinner and just go to sleep; the interview had exhausted her. Her nervous system had been under such an intense attack that, she had to physically hurt herself to control her actions. And now her lower lip was bleeding and there were crescent-shaped nail marks in her palms.
She didn’t bother turning on the light, intent on just throwing herself on the bed when the bedside lamp flickered on suddenly. She came to halt abruptly, her heart in her throat. But her body was still ready to act. Attack.
Then she realized it was only Gerard sitting on the bed, staring at her with concern embedded in his smooth, elegant features.
“Missed you today,” he mumbled quietly, holding out his arms for her.
She blinked in a slow, soft movement and took the few steps to settle in the circle of his arms. He inhaled her scent once she was close, wrapping his arms tight around her slender frame and she buried her hands in his soft hair in response. Reveling in the feeling of its strong texture between her fingers and its beautiful scent in her nose.
“Missed you, too,” she mumbled back, resting her cheek against the top of his head.
He pulled her down to straddle his lap and moved his hands to trail them down her straight dark hair.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, having taken the weary expression on her face.
She just shrugged helplessly, moving closer to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. His arms found their way to her back and he kissed her delicately as his hands explored the tense knots on the muscles of her back. She kissed him back eagerly, opening her mouth to tug at his upper lip and worried on it greedily.
“You’re so tense,” he whispered, frowning, as he pulled back from the kiss.
“Just tired,” she muttered and moved to kiss him again but he tilted his head back away from the kiss.
“I’m not gonna let you distract me again,” he told her in a firm voice, “Something’s wrong. Just tell me.”
She sighed and finally blurted out what happened in the interview. She gestured around with her hands wildly, choking the air as she told him about how she wanted to choke the interviewer. And Gerard lost himself in the passion of her storytelling, feeling the same feelings she had felt.
“I just…” she mumbled weakly, her head angled away from his so that he couldn’t see her eyes as they stared off into nothingness, “I didn’t… I don’t deserve to be treated like a. Merely a… A property.”
He let out a sharp breath.
“Of course you don’t,” he cried out suddenly.
“But that’s what I am to them,” she told him, her voice high-pitched with anger, “I’m only your girlfriend! Not a woman of her own, not the lead-singer of another band, not an engineer. Only your girlfriend. That’s the one thing that matters to them… And that’s just so. So… So degrading.”
She shook her head with disgust, pacing around the room crying her frustration out.
“I worked so hard for this. Really hard to be here, to be where I am. But no one cares about that. No one cares about the fact that I worked my ass off at school to be able to win that scholarship to Stanford. That I worked my ass off in there, too, to complete my degree and to finally prove to them that I can make a better electrical engineer than a man. Than a fucking man. I worked too hard to finally be free. To be able to do what I’ve always wanted to do. I defied my family for this band. And I got up on dirty, shitty stages with fucked-up sound systems just to be where I am now and no one fucking cares about that!” she screamed, “No one gives a flying fuck about the number of nights I stepped onto that stage, burning up with fever and nauseous with headache and still singing. No one cares that I spilt blood on that stage or fractured a bone!”
She gripped her hair furiously and yanked back. Gerard ran to her side, gathering her close in his arms, trying to calm her down, to stop hurting herself. She struggled to break free, but he held her closer.
“Shhh,” he whispered in her ear, “Hey… it’s okay,”
“No, it’s not!” she exclaimed, raising her head up from his chest and blinking back teary eyes at him, yet calmer. “It really is not… Why can’t people just accept me as a free woman? Why do they have to regard women as men’s properties?” she sniffed, “Why do they… why do I have to be introduced as someone’s girlfriend or his wife or his fiancé? Why can’t I just be me? Which fucking year are we in?” she whispered.
“I dunno,” Gerard muttered silently, truthfully, at her frustrated visage. She was trembling in his arms. “I’m sorry…” he whispered sincerely.
She touched his cheek gently.
“Don’t be,” she said, “It’s not your fault.”
Gerard just shrugged then started massaging her back slightly. “Better?” he asked after a while.
She nodded wordlessly.
“You’re so tense,” he stated finally, “I wanna give you a proper massage.”
Defne shrugged. “Okay.”
He smiled down at her and slowly removed her hoodie. She sighed as his hands made contact with her bare arms, wanting more. Her hands fumbled at the hem of his shirt and she took it off just after he took off hers. He didn’t let her distract him anymore though, and quickly undressed her, taking her hand and walking her back towards the bed. He kissed her lips lightly before telling her to lie down on her stomach.
She did.
And he unleashed the talent of his artist hands on the aching muscles of her back, straddling her hips and then kneading her flesh with expert movements.
She sighed and moaned for him as he turned her muscles into goo. Arched her hips back, craving friction, as she felt him hard on top of her.
She blushed for him when he noticed her new tattoo and cooed in her ear: “I love it.”
She thrashed, she panted, she moaned again for him as they made love in the dark intimacy of the night. Two bodies colliding with each other.
She screamed his name for him as she came.
And her name fell from his lips, stifled by the force of his kiss, as he reached his release.
A/N: Hey, you guys! Sorry for the long wait. I guess it has been the longest since the beginning of this story. I'm not gonna list all my excuses here because there are too many and I don't want you to get bored. I just hope you're not disappointed with this chapter, what with all the aggressiveness and all.
So, since you already read this, feel free to rate and/or review and make me happy =) I promise I won't make you wait so long!
Love ya all,
< 3333333333
31. Property]
“Hey, guys!” Defne called as she poked her head into the hotel room Frank and Ray were sharing. Or at least, only the two of them were supposed to be sharing the room. Currently, Gerard, Mikey and Bob were also scattered across the room.
All five of them were happily indulging in off-day fun. Which naturally meant they were playing computer games. Need For Speed Carbon, from the looks of it.
Upon noticing her presence, they waved at her, mumbling hellos and turning their attention back to the computer screens soon after. She smiled and stepped into the room.
“Sooo, who’s beating who?” she asked.
“Bob’s already beaten us all,” Mikey mumbled, defeated.
“Hell yeah!” Bob agreed in a smug tone, “They’re still trying to defend their honor, though.”
She walked over to where Ray and Bob were caught up in an exciting circuit race, watching them with enthusiasm for a while.
“Is this the best you can do?” she asked, grinning, “I bet I could beat you all.”
Frank chimed in from his place curled up against the headboard.
“You know what? I’ve been telling Bob that some day I’m gonna bring Jamia to race against him. She’s really good at these games… So if you think you can kick ass, I’ll gladly give my turn up to you so that I can see this man beaten for once.”
She chuckled as she leaned in to kiss Gerard’s cheek. He mumbled something incoherent, his eyes still glued to the screen, desperately trying to get rid of Mikey who was tailing him.
“I’d love to stay and beat him for good but I actually came to steal you,” she responded.
“Huh?” asked Gerard, finishing the race 2 seconds before Mikey, looking up to see if she had an expression on her face that meant she wanted to have her wicked way with him.
She smiled down at him affectionately and ruffled his hair.
“No,” she said, “I came to steal Frank, if that’s okay with everyone. Or do you really need another lousy racer?”
“Hey!” Frank protested, scowling at her.
She smiled innocently at him. “It’s the truth, you know it.”
“Yeah, whatever, take him,” said Bob, “He moves around on the bed too much, anyway. It’s distracting.”
Frank jumped up on the bed and slapped the drummer on the back.
“Now you just hurt my feelings Bob-o,” he announced, smirking, “You’re gonna hand me over to this scary woman without a question?”
Bob shrugged as Gerard stared at Defne, frowning slightly. Feeling his gaze on her face, she glanced down once more and saw his expression. He couldn’t possibly be jealous! She smiled down at him warmly and ducked her head to kiss him lightly. His hand reached to dip her face lower so that he can deepen the kiss. He was feeling possessive.
She chuckled and he joined her as they finally broke the kiss.
“I just need his help with something,” she announced finally and Frank jumped up on his feet energetically.
“Frankenstein’s at your service!” he declared, puffing up his chest with pride.
She giggled and they made their way out of the room.
-----
Frank blinked at her in surprise.
“So, you wanna know if there’s a tattoo parlor around here somewhere?” he asked to check if he understood correctly.
“Yepp,” she answered, nodding.
“Let me get this straight. You wanna get Gerard’s drawing tattooed?”
She nodded again, blushing this time.
Frank let out a high-pitched giggle.
“That’s too cute!” he exclaimed, his eyes wild with excitement.
Defne blushed some more and glared at him in the end.
“You have your girlfriend’s name tattooed on your chest. Why can’t I have my boyfriend’s drawing on mine?” she asked crankily.
Frank tried to stop his giggling as he answered.
“I didn’t say you can’t have it, you can. I’m just saying you’re so cute. And the birds are adorable,” he said, his eyes flicking towards the drawing on the table, still grinning. But then his grin faded around the edges a bit.
“Wait,” he gasped, “You’re gonna get it on your chest, too?”
She frowned, thinking about it one more time. Then she let out an exasperated sigh, burying her hands in her hair and yanking.
“I dunno,” she admitted, “I’ve thought about it…”
“And?” Frank encouraged, eyebrows high in the air.
She shrugged helplessly.
“I dunno if it would look good with, you know, my breasts and all…”
The tiny guitarist’s lips closed in a tight frown, his eyes unconsciously wandering over her chest.
“I think it might look a bit lop-sided,” he let out at last, “Not to mention that it would hurt too fucking much. I don’t think you should feel so much pain getting your first tattoo, you might shy awa –”
“It won’t be my first tattoo” she said, cutting him of.
Frank’s eyes opened in disbelief, his lips pursed.
“Really?” he asked excitedly.
She nodded silently.
“Well, where’s the other one?” he asked impatiently.
“It’s on my back.”
The guitarist narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously.
“Don’t tell me it’s a butterfly on your hip. You can’t have a tramp stamp!” he cried, his hands gesturing wildly around the place.
She laughed out loud at his reaction.
“Ughh Frank, calm the fuck down!” she yelled between her laughter, “I don’t have a tramp stamp.”
He raised his eyebrows at her in question.
“It’s a full back tattoo,” she explained.
His eyes nearly bulged out of his head.
“Wow, I’m impressed… Can I see it?” he asked tentatively.
She bit her lip and tried not to blush again. There was no need to turn such an innocent request into an awkwardness marathon. “Ummm… I guess you can see most of it if I lift my T-shirt a bit.”
She turned her back and lifted her shirt for him to be able to see the tattoo.
Frank let out a low whistle. “Wooow… that’s. That’s beautiful.”
“Thanks,” she murmured.
“And not to mention, huge.”
They both chuckled and she finally readjusted her shirt and turned back again to face him.
“And you kept this huge-ass tattoo a secret all this time!” he stated, shaking his head, “I’m truly disappointed.”
She rolled her eyes and punched him on the shoulder lightly.
“So…” she began, “You never answered my question. Do you know a tattoo parlor here?”
Frank shot her the smuggest grin.
“It’s your lucky day!” he exclaimed.
And they left her room as soon as she had carefully placed Gerard’s drawing in her messenger bag.
Frank smirked at her evilly as they got out of the hotel hurriedly.
“You’re gonna get your second tattoo, Deff,” he stated, as if there was a hidden meaning behind his words.
“So?” she asked him, confused.
“Once you get your second tattoo, it means you’re gonna keep using your body as a canvas forever.”
“What?” she asked.
Frank wrapped an air of expertise around him as he responded.
“There are people with no tattoos. Then there are people with only one tattoo. And then there are people, like myself, with many tattoos,” he told her, his pupils alight with joy, “Once you cross the “second tattoo barrier”, you just keep adding more and more to the collection.”
She laughed, wondering if that would be the case for her, too.
-----
Defne managed to slip back into her room without coming across Gerard. She went to the bathroom and examined her upper left arm. She smiled at the image of the budgies, admiring her shiny new tattoo.
Meanwhile Gerard cornered Frank to see what the two of them were up to all day long. Frank just shrugged and told him she needed his opinion on what to buy Toro on his birthday. Of course since she was going to buy something guitar-related, she needed his expertise on the subject.
Gerard never suspected a thing. So he didn’t rush into her room, knowing she had an interview soon. He thought she’d need time to get ready. Though he was curious about what she’d gotten for Ray. Oh well, he’d learn soon enough anyway…
-----
The interviewer sat in front of her, making himself comfortable in his chair. She fidgeted on her seat. She still couldn’t help feeling a bit shy during interviews. Even if just for those few minutes right before the first question came. And the presence of a camera made it all the more difficult for her to stay perfectly calm.
The cameraman told them they were recording and the interviewer started speaking.
“Hello everyone! Here we are with Defne Yalcin, Gerard Way’s official girlfriend –”
She stiffened at the statement. ‘Defne Yalcin – Gerard Way’s official girlfriend’? What the fuck? What happened to Defne Yalcin of Soul Purpose? She felt a wave of anger rise up inside her, reaching her hands and making them tremble. She could literally hear the blood pumping in her ears. What had she done wrong to deserve to be introduced merely as someone’s girlfriend? Didn’t these people see that she had a perfectly good identity of her own?
“ – few questions for her and she seems eager enough to answer them!” he exclaimed, turning to face her. But, too absorbed in her inner temper tantrum, she was failing to look friendly and relaxed. Upon noticing the confused look on the interviewer’s face, she took a deep breath and forced herself to give him a friendly smile that didn’t reach her eyes at all.
“Hi, Defne!” he greeted with an overly-enthusiastic voice.
“Hi,” she responded, with a touch of solid coldness in her tone.
The interviewer frowned but kept talking.
“Well, actually, you look a bit down. Has it been a hard day?”
She shook her head and couldn’t keep her mouth from forming the words.
“No, it was a perfectly fine day. It’s just that… I just wanna ask, what happened to ‘Defne Yalcin of Soul Purpose’?”
He blinked back at her, taken aback by her unexpected bluntness.
“Excuse me?” he asked politely.
She shook her head. She hadn’t meant to be a bitch. But then he shouldn’t have made her so angry.
“I mean… isn’t that the proper way you’re supposed to introduce me?” she asked, forcing her voice to sound lighter, flashing an emotionless smile.
The irritating man blinked at her again.
“I’m sorry,” he started, “What did I say?”
She stared at him for one moment and huffed out an annoyed breath, shaking her head again. He didn’t even know he’d done it. She was embedded in the guy’s mind as ‘Gerard Way’s girlfriend’.
“You know what?” she said, tossing her hair away from her face with a sharp movement of practiced ease, “Forget it… Let’s just move on to the questions.”
The guy nodded and flashed a brilliant smile for the camera.
“All right, so, everyone’s been wondering about how you and Gerard happened exactly.”
It took every ounce of willpower she had not to stand up and attack the guy right then and there, in front of the camera and all. She took several breaths and forced her inner demon to calm down, to go back to the place she had crawled out of. She didn’t really comply, but instead, preferred to crouch in the dark silently, waiting for the final blow to come.
“Ummm… I really don’t wanna talk about that, if it’s okay with you. I mean, what we have is personal and we’d like to keep it that way.”
She thought she sounded civilized enough. The interviewer recovered soon enough and moved onto another question.
“Oh, yeah, of course. That’s totally cool. So yeah, what about a future record? When are you planning to record one?”
She gave him an approving smile before answering.
“Umm, the tour’s gonna be over the first week of August so… I think we’ll move right onto the recording after that. Cause we already have the songs ready, though we’re currently working on a few more. So, I guess after a brief period of choosing and rearranging… I dunno, I can tell you that we’ll start recording as soon as possible but I don’t know when the album will be out.”
“Oh, have you decided on the contract offers then?”
“Uhh, yeah,” she said and told him the name of the label they were now officially going to be signed to.
After that, he asked her a few more questions about the band and the label and the album, carefully avoiding the G-word, until he noticed her brand new tattoo. Of course he asked her about it, too.
“I got this one only today, actually,” she confessed.
“Oh really?” he asked in fake surprise. She didn’t know why he seemed so fake to her eyes. Maybe it was because she already held a grudge against him. Well, he deserved it.
“Yeah, I arrived at the hotel a few hours ago. I was at the tattoo parlor.”
“Is that your only tattoo?”
“Uhh, no. I have another, bigger one on my back.”
“Can we see it?” he asked, his eyes excited – with the knowledge that he’d found something never-before-seen to show on screen.
Defne gave him a tight smile.
“I don’t really think so,” she said apologetically, “I’d have to take off my shirt.”
“It’s that big?”
“It’s a full back tattoo.”
“Wow, that’s awesome. Hey, maybe we could zoom in on that new one then?” he asked politely.
“Sure.”
And she turned sideways in her seat for the camera to be able to zoom in on her upper arm.
“They’re really cute little things,” the interviewer commented on the budgies.
“Yeah, they are,” she said, “I actually saw them in a pet shop once.”
“So you sketched them?” he asked, intrigued this time, and sounding sincere enough.
“No, Gerard did,” she answered and bit her lip immediately. She hadn’t wanted that to slip out. The interviewer was already a dick about her relationship with Gerard. She was so stupid to bring up the subject herself.
Just then, she heard the interviewer chuckle.
“Oh, he sketched them for you, huh?”
She nodded her head reluctantly, wishing he would leave it at that.
But she had no such luck. And thus, she had to spend the next half an hour trying to dodge clever questions about her and Gerard.
-----
After the interview, she walked into her hotel room crankily, closing the door with a loud bang as she entered the room. She had decided to skip dinner and just go to sleep; the interview had exhausted her. Her nervous system had been under such an intense attack that, she had to physically hurt herself to control her actions. And now her lower lip was bleeding and there were crescent-shaped nail marks in her palms.
She didn’t bother turning on the light, intent on just throwing herself on the bed when the bedside lamp flickered on suddenly. She came to halt abruptly, her heart in her throat. But her body was still ready to act. Attack.
Then she realized it was only Gerard sitting on the bed, staring at her with concern embedded in his smooth, elegant features.
“Missed you today,” he mumbled quietly, holding out his arms for her.
She blinked in a slow, soft movement and took the few steps to settle in the circle of his arms. He inhaled her scent once she was close, wrapping his arms tight around her slender frame and she buried her hands in his soft hair in response. Reveling in the feeling of its strong texture between her fingers and its beautiful scent in her nose.
“Missed you, too,” she mumbled back, resting her cheek against the top of his head.
He pulled her down to straddle his lap and moved his hands to trail them down her straight dark hair.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, having taken the weary expression on her face.
She just shrugged helplessly, moving closer to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. His arms found their way to her back and he kissed her delicately as his hands explored the tense knots on the muscles of her back. She kissed him back eagerly, opening her mouth to tug at his upper lip and worried on it greedily.
“You’re so tense,” he whispered, frowning, as he pulled back from the kiss.
“Just tired,” she muttered and moved to kiss him again but he tilted his head back away from the kiss.
“I’m not gonna let you distract me again,” he told her in a firm voice, “Something’s wrong. Just tell me.”
She sighed and finally blurted out what happened in the interview. She gestured around with her hands wildly, choking the air as she told him about how she wanted to choke the interviewer. And Gerard lost himself in the passion of her storytelling, feeling the same feelings she had felt.
“I just…” she mumbled weakly, her head angled away from his so that he couldn’t see her eyes as they stared off into nothingness, “I didn’t… I don’t deserve to be treated like a. Merely a… A property.”
He let out a sharp breath.
“Of course you don’t,” he cried out suddenly.
“But that’s what I am to them,” she told him, her voice high-pitched with anger, “I’m only your girlfriend! Not a woman of her own, not the lead-singer of another band, not an engineer. Only your girlfriend. That’s the one thing that matters to them… And that’s just so. So… So degrading.”
She shook her head with disgust, pacing around the room crying her frustration out.
“I worked so hard for this. Really hard to be here, to be where I am. But no one cares about that. No one cares about the fact that I worked my ass off at school to be able to win that scholarship to Stanford. That I worked my ass off in there, too, to complete my degree and to finally prove to them that I can make a better electrical engineer than a man. Than a fucking man. I worked too hard to finally be free. To be able to do what I’ve always wanted to do. I defied my family for this band. And I got up on dirty, shitty stages with fucked-up sound systems just to be where I am now and no one fucking cares about that!” she screamed, “No one gives a flying fuck about the number of nights I stepped onto that stage, burning up with fever and nauseous with headache and still singing. No one cares that I spilt blood on that stage or fractured a bone!”
She gripped her hair furiously and yanked back. Gerard ran to her side, gathering her close in his arms, trying to calm her down, to stop hurting herself. She struggled to break free, but he held her closer.
“Shhh,” he whispered in her ear, “Hey… it’s okay,”
“No, it’s not!” she exclaimed, raising her head up from his chest and blinking back teary eyes at him, yet calmer. “It really is not… Why can’t people just accept me as a free woman? Why do they have to regard women as men’s properties?” she sniffed, “Why do they… why do I have to be introduced as someone’s girlfriend or his wife or his fiancé? Why can’t I just be me? Which fucking year are we in?” she whispered.
“I dunno,” Gerard muttered silently, truthfully, at her frustrated visage. She was trembling in his arms. “I’m sorry…” he whispered sincerely.
She touched his cheek gently.
“Don’t be,” she said, “It’s not your fault.”
Gerard just shrugged then started massaging her back slightly. “Better?” he asked after a while.
She nodded wordlessly.
“You’re so tense,” he stated finally, “I wanna give you a proper massage.”
Defne shrugged. “Okay.”
He smiled down at her and slowly removed her hoodie. She sighed as his hands made contact with her bare arms, wanting more. Her hands fumbled at the hem of his shirt and she took it off just after he took off hers. He didn’t let her distract him anymore though, and quickly undressed her, taking her hand and walking her back towards the bed. He kissed her lips lightly before telling her to lie down on her stomach.
She did.
And he unleashed the talent of his artist hands on the aching muscles of her back, straddling her hips and then kneading her flesh with expert movements.
She sighed and moaned for him as he turned her muscles into goo. Arched her hips back, craving friction, as she felt him hard on top of her.
She blushed for him when he noticed her new tattoo and cooed in her ear: “I love it.”
She thrashed, she panted, she moaned again for him as they made love in the dark intimacy of the night. Two bodies colliding with each other.
She screamed his name for him as she came.
And her name fell from his lips, stifled by the force of his kiss, as he reached his release.
A/N: Hey, you guys! Sorry for the long wait. I guess it has been the longest since the beginning of this story. I'm not gonna list all my excuses here because there are too many and I don't want you to get bored. I just hope you're not disappointed with this chapter, what with all the aggressiveness and all.
So, since you already read this, feel free to rate and/or review and make me happy =) I promise I won't make you wait so long!
Love ya all,
< 3333333333
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