Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Untitled Story - Year 5
Start of Term
0 reviewsHarry starts his 5th year - AU, eventual H/Hr. MildlyPowerful!Harry, Smart!Harry, TakesInitiative!Harry. See chapter one for more detailed summary.
1Funny
Chapter Ten – Start of Term
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Wednesday, 10 January 1996
Second Floor
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
11:35
Harry, Ron, and Hermione were making their way to lunch when they were interrupted by a familiar voice.
“Five points from Gryffindor, Weasel. Your shirt’s not tucked in.”
“Malfoy, prefects can’t take points.” said Harry.
“That’s correct, Potter, they can’t. Members of the Inquisitorial Squad, however, can.”
“Inquisitorial Squad?” asked Hermione.
“Yes, a select group of students hand picked by Professor Umbridge to aid her in her duties.” said Malfoy, pointing to a silver IS badge under his prefect badge, before walking off.
As they sat at the Gryffindor table, they were joined by Fred and George.
“So, you three had a run in with the Inquisitorial Squad yet?” asked Fred.
“Yes. Malfoy took five points for my shirt being un-tucked.” answered Ron.
“Warrington tried to do us earlier.” Said George.
“Tried?” asked Harry, wondering whether he really wanted to know.
“We shoved him into that vanishing cabinet on the 5th floor before he could get the words out. No idea where he went.” said a smiling Fred.
“But he could have gone anywhere!” said Hermione.
“Yep. We’ve decided we don’t particularly care as long as he doesn’t show up and recover before the Quidditch game in two weeks.”
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Saturday, 27 January 1996
Quidditch Pitch
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
13:05
Gryffindor had just handily beaten Slytherin by 210 to 160, Malfoy managing to catch the snitch through freak chance. Ginny, the Gryffindor seeker, had no chance to catch it at all, since it appeared directly in front of Malfoy. Even catching the snitch wasn’t enough for Slytherin to win; between the excellent keeper on the Gryffindor team and the attempt to set a record for fouling, they had no chance.
As Harry, Ron, and Hermione congratulated the team, Malfoy wandered over.
“So, how many days did your parents have to go hungry for those brooms, Weasel?”
Trying to manoeuvre the twins and Ginny away from him, Harry got a bad feeling about the situation.
“Of course, your mother could do to lose some weight. How she can–”
“Fred, No!” yelled Harry to no avail still holding back George with the help of Angelina Johnson, as Fred broke loose from Alicia and Hermione and treated Malfoy to a lovely right hook. Those near heard an ominous cracking sound.
“Fred Weasley! My Office! Now!” said a livid McGonagall.
“He provoked us!” protested George, “He insulted our family.”
“I don’t care who he insulted. He just lost. That doesn’t give you leave to punch him.” said McGonagall.
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Saturday, 27 January 1996
Gryffindor Common Room
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
15:35
As Fred made his way over to his brother, who was sitting with the rest of the team, he looked ready to kill somebody.
“We’ve been banned.”
“What? What do you mean, ‘we’ve been banned?’” asked Ginny.
“We, that is, George and I, have been banned from Quidditch, and our brooms have been confiscated.”
Harry, who had come over when he saw Fred return, frowned.
“That seems a bit harsh. I wouldn’t expect McGonagall to ban you over that.”
“Oh, McGonagall just gave us a weeks detention, Umbitch did the rest.” said Fred.
“Well, it seems we are no longer needed here. We only stayed in school after our OWLs because of Quidditch. Let’s see how Umbitch likes pranks, Fred.” said George.
“I think the two of us holding nothing back will make her time here suitably hectic.” said Fred.
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Sunday, 28 January 1996
Great Hall
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
08:00
As the school sat eating breakfast, Umbridge stood up, holding a parchment.
“Rrrrrriibit, crooooooak, ribbit croak ribbit ribbit.” said Umbridge, before looking up at the unnatural silence that had settled on the hall, everyone looking at her. Looking back to her parchment, she continued.
“Croak ribbit croak croak ribbit rrrribbit croaaak ribbit.”
As the hall erupted in laughter, Fred and George gave themselves a low five.
As Harry looked along the staff table, he noticed that all the professors looked singularly unconcerned, though McGonagall and Snape did seem to be trying to hide a smile, and Dumbledore’s twinkles were on overdrive.
Umbridge, looking annoyed at the laughter filling the hall, started speaking again.
“Croak! Ribbit ribbit!”, before sitting again, and turning to Dumbledore.
“Croooak ribbit?”
“I’m sorry, Delores, but you seem to have a frog in your throat today. Could you repeat that?” said Dumbledore loud enough for it to carry through the hall, resulting in more laughter.
“So, how long will that last?” asked Harry, who had turned to Fred and George.
“We’re not sure. That product is still in testing. It could be five minutes or five days. None of them have lasted longer than five days, though. She doesn’t hear the croaking.”
That set the tone for the next few weeks. Umbridge, suspecting the Twins, had them tailed everywhere they went. However, they had an unusual knack for losing their tail and being spotted in corridors near the kitchens.
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Thursday, 1 February 1996
Entrance Hall
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
19:45
As Harry, Ron, and Hermione made their way out of the Great Hall from dinner, they found the Entrance Hall crowded with people. Moving through the crowd, they found that it made a circle around the centre of the hall. Sitting on a trunk in the centre of the circle was Professor Trelawney, who seemed very distraught, and Professor McGonagall, who was attempting to comfort Trelawney. As a familiar voice sounded from the stairs, which were apparently the only way Umbridge could tower over anyone, they looked over, and saw a very smug looking toad.
“I’m sorry, Sibyll, but you fell rather short on your performance review. You are no longer a professor. You have been sacked. Please vacate the castle, as your lodgings will be required by your replacement.”
At that moment, the doors to the Entrance Hall swung open, revealing the Headmaster, and a Centaur.
“That will not be necessary, Sibyll. You may return to your tower.” said Dumbledore.
“Headmaster, Trelawney has been sacked.” said Umbridge. “Her replacement will”
“Prefer lodging on the ground floor.” finished Dumbledore.
“According to Educational Decree number 24, the ministry may hire someone for a vacant position” started Umbridge, to be cut off by Dumbledore yet again.
“If, and ONLY if, the headmaster is unable to do so. I am happy to say, that on this occasion, I have been successful. I believe you’ll find that Firenze here is a suitable replacement. You’ll also find that the power to eject someone from the castle still resides with the headmaster.”
Umbridge, looking outraged that Dumbledore had gone around her, and hired yet another part-human, turned and stalked back to her office. Harry, who was anything but amused with the situation, started towards Gryffindor tower.
“She may be a fraud, but something like that is done in private.” said Harry to nobody in particular.
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Friday, 16 February 1996
Great Hall
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
08:00
Friday morning found Harry, Ron, and Hermione talking to Ginny and Neville at the table over breakfast.
“You been down the 4th floor yet today?” asked Ginny.
“No, why?”
“A swamp appeared in the corridor over night. Apparently, Umbridge was unable to get rid of it, and Flitwick is said to have remarked about what a good piece of charm work it is.” said Ginny.
“I’ll have to congratulate the twins, then.” said Harry, who had heard about the challenge it had been to incorporate the alligators into the portable swamps.
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Wednesday, 21 February 1996
Entrance Hall
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
11:45
Nearing the Great Hall, the Trio was met by Fred and George, who were grinning like maniacs.
“I’d get to the great hall quickly, if I were you.” they told Harry.
“Rumour is that Umbridge is going to expel us this evening. We plan to go out with a bang. If this goes as planned, Filibuster will have a hard time competing.” said Fred.
“What are you two planning this time?” asked Hermione.
“You’ll see. That much is certain.” said George cryptically.
About half way through lunch, the castle was rocked by a large explosion. As the students piled out of the hall to see what had happened, several yelled “DUCK!” before flattening themselves on the floor in time for a large rocket to pass over them. The rocket was followed by a large Catherine wheel, which, apparently seeing Umbridge, altered course and headed for her with a menacing ‘veeeeeee’ sound, before veering out a window at the last second.
Making his way upstairs, Harry saw a large crate in the hall. Ducking behind a tapestry, he found Fred and George laughing silently. As he was about to speak, he heard Umbridge yelling “Do something, Argus! They’re escaping!”, before a cry of “Stupefy!”, which was followed by a deafening explosion.
“Don’t stun them, Filch!” said Umbridge to the squib, who was now yelling about his broom being on fire.
Fred stopped laughing long enough to say something.
“Oh, I hope she tries vanishing them next! They multiply by ten every time you try!”
The rest of the day found Umbridge running all over the castle, looking like Wile E. Coyote after an attempt to kill the roadrunner. All the professors seemed unable to rid their classrooms of the fireworks without her assistance.
Walking past the charms classroom, he saw Umbridge leaving.
“Thank you so much, Delores. I could have gotten rid of it myself, but I didn’t know if I had the Authority.” Said Flitwick, before shutting the door in her face.
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Wednesday, 21 February 1996
Entrance Hall
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
19:50
Arriving in the Entrance Hall to find it packed again, Harry moved to get a better view of what was bound to be an exciting show.
“You two will be expelled!” shouted Umbridge, attempting to tower over Fred and George by standing on the stairs again.
“You know what, I don’t think we will be.” Fred remarked conversationally. “What do you think, George?”
“Nope, I don’t think we will be.”
“What makes you think that?” asked a smug looking Umbridge.
“Well, to be expelled, Accio Brooms!, you have to be a student.” said Fred.
“Fortunately,” said George, grabbing his broom as it reached him, “we won’t be attending any longer.”
The two of them mounted their brooms and rose into the air until they were level with Peeves.
“We won’t be seeing you any longer.” said Fred.
“Don’t bother to write.” said George.
“Don’t forget to visit Number 93 Diagon Alley” started Fred.
“Our new Premises!” finished George.
“Special discounts to students who swear to use our products to get rid of this old toad.” Said the twins together. “Give her hell from us, Peeves!”
To everyone’s surprise, Peeves snapped to attention and saluted them.
As they flew out of the hall and disappeared into the night, the crowd started to move into the great hall for dinner. The twins’ actions that day and evening were certain to enter into Hogwarts legend.
The following days found the school affected by countless pranks, students apparently vying for the newly vacant position of Pranker Extraordinaire. As the staff watched the disorder, they universally found it easier to avoid disciplining students. Harry witnessed McGonagall walk past Peeves who was unscrewing a chandelier without comment.
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Wednesday, 10 January 1996
Second Floor
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
11:35
Harry, Ron, and Hermione were making their way to lunch when they were interrupted by a familiar voice.
“Five points from Gryffindor, Weasel. Your shirt’s not tucked in.”
“Malfoy, prefects can’t take points.” said Harry.
“That’s correct, Potter, they can’t. Members of the Inquisitorial Squad, however, can.”
“Inquisitorial Squad?” asked Hermione.
“Yes, a select group of students hand picked by Professor Umbridge to aid her in her duties.” said Malfoy, pointing to a silver IS badge under his prefect badge, before walking off.
As they sat at the Gryffindor table, they were joined by Fred and George.
“So, you three had a run in with the Inquisitorial Squad yet?” asked Fred.
“Yes. Malfoy took five points for my shirt being un-tucked.” answered Ron.
“Warrington tried to do us earlier.” Said George.
“Tried?” asked Harry, wondering whether he really wanted to know.
“We shoved him into that vanishing cabinet on the 5th floor before he could get the words out. No idea where he went.” said a smiling Fred.
“But he could have gone anywhere!” said Hermione.
“Yep. We’ve decided we don’t particularly care as long as he doesn’t show up and recover before the Quidditch game in two weeks.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday, 27 January 1996
Quidditch Pitch
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
13:05
Gryffindor had just handily beaten Slytherin by 210 to 160, Malfoy managing to catch the snitch through freak chance. Ginny, the Gryffindor seeker, had no chance to catch it at all, since it appeared directly in front of Malfoy. Even catching the snitch wasn’t enough for Slytherin to win; between the excellent keeper on the Gryffindor team and the attempt to set a record for fouling, they had no chance.
As Harry, Ron, and Hermione congratulated the team, Malfoy wandered over.
“So, how many days did your parents have to go hungry for those brooms, Weasel?”
Trying to manoeuvre the twins and Ginny away from him, Harry got a bad feeling about the situation.
“Of course, your mother could do to lose some weight. How she can–”
“Fred, No!” yelled Harry to no avail still holding back George with the help of Angelina Johnson, as Fred broke loose from Alicia and Hermione and treated Malfoy to a lovely right hook. Those near heard an ominous cracking sound.
“Fred Weasley! My Office! Now!” said a livid McGonagall.
“He provoked us!” protested George, “He insulted our family.”
“I don’t care who he insulted. He just lost. That doesn’t give you leave to punch him.” said McGonagall.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday, 27 January 1996
Gryffindor Common Room
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
15:35
As Fred made his way over to his brother, who was sitting with the rest of the team, he looked ready to kill somebody.
“We’ve been banned.”
“What? What do you mean, ‘we’ve been banned?’” asked Ginny.
“We, that is, George and I, have been banned from Quidditch, and our brooms have been confiscated.”
Harry, who had come over when he saw Fred return, frowned.
“That seems a bit harsh. I wouldn’t expect McGonagall to ban you over that.”
“Oh, McGonagall just gave us a weeks detention, Umbitch did the rest.” said Fred.
“Well, it seems we are no longer needed here. We only stayed in school after our OWLs because of Quidditch. Let’s see how Umbitch likes pranks, Fred.” said George.
“I think the two of us holding nothing back will make her time here suitably hectic.” said Fred.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, 28 January 1996
Great Hall
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
08:00
As the school sat eating breakfast, Umbridge stood up, holding a parchment.
“Rrrrrriibit, crooooooak, ribbit croak ribbit ribbit.” said Umbridge, before looking up at the unnatural silence that had settled on the hall, everyone looking at her. Looking back to her parchment, she continued.
“Croak ribbit croak croak ribbit rrrribbit croaaak ribbit.”
As the hall erupted in laughter, Fred and George gave themselves a low five.
As Harry looked along the staff table, he noticed that all the professors looked singularly unconcerned, though McGonagall and Snape did seem to be trying to hide a smile, and Dumbledore’s twinkles were on overdrive.
Umbridge, looking annoyed at the laughter filling the hall, started speaking again.
“Croak! Ribbit ribbit!”, before sitting again, and turning to Dumbledore.
“Croooak ribbit?”
“I’m sorry, Delores, but you seem to have a frog in your throat today. Could you repeat that?” said Dumbledore loud enough for it to carry through the hall, resulting in more laughter.
“So, how long will that last?” asked Harry, who had turned to Fred and George.
“We’re not sure. That product is still in testing. It could be five minutes or five days. None of them have lasted longer than five days, though. She doesn’t hear the croaking.”
That set the tone for the next few weeks. Umbridge, suspecting the Twins, had them tailed everywhere they went. However, they had an unusual knack for losing their tail and being spotted in corridors near the kitchens.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday, 1 February 1996
Entrance Hall
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
19:45
As Harry, Ron, and Hermione made their way out of the Great Hall from dinner, they found the Entrance Hall crowded with people. Moving through the crowd, they found that it made a circle around the centre of the hall. Sitting on a trunk in the centre of the circle was Professor Trelawney, who seemed very distraught, and Professor McGonagall, who was attempting to comfort Trelawney. As a familiar voice sounded from the stairs, which were apparently the only way Umbridge could tower over anyone, they looked over, and saw a very smug looking toad.
“I’m sorry, Sibyll, but you fell rather short on your performance review. You are no longer a professor. You have been sacked. Please vacate the castle, as your lodgings will be required by your replacement.”
At that moment, the doors to the Entrance Hall swung open, revealing the Headmaster, and a Centaur.
“That will not be necessary, Sibyll. You may return to your tower.” said Dumbledore.
“Headmaster, Trelawney has been sacked.” said Umbridge. “Her replacement will”
“Prefer lodging on the ground floor.” finished Dumbledore.
“According to Educational Decree number 24, the ministry may hire someone for a vacant position” started Umbridge, to be cut off by Dumbledore yet again.
“If, and ONLY if, the headmaster is unable to do so. I am happy to say, that on this occasion, I have been successful. I believe you’ll find that Firenze here is a suitable replacement. You’ll also find that the power to eject someone from the castle still resides with the headmaster.”
Umbridge, looking outraged that Dumbledore had gone around her, and hired yet another part-human, turned and stalked back to her office. Harry, who was anything but amused with the situation, started towards Gryffindor tower.
“She may be a fraud, but something like that is done in private.” said Harry to nobody in particular.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday, 16 February 1996
Great Hall
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
08:00
Friday morning found Harry, Ron, and Hermione talking to Ginny and Neville at the table over breakfast.
“You been down the 4th floor yet today?” asked Ginny.
“No, why?”
“A swamp appeared in the corridor over night. Apparently, Umbridge was unable to get rid of it, and Flitwick is said to have remarked about what a good piece of charm work it is.” said Ginny.
“I’ll have to congratulate the twins, then.” said Harry, who had heard about the challenge it had been to incorporate the alligators into the portable swamps.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday, 21 February 1996
Entrance Hall
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
11:45
Nearing the Great Hall, the Trio was met by Fred and George, who were grinning like maniacs.
“I’d get to the great hall quickly, if I were you.” they told Harry.
“Rumour is that Umbridge is going to expel us this evening. We plan to go out with a bang. If this goes as planned, Filibuster will have a hard time competing.” said Fred.
“What are you two planning this time?” asked Hermione.
“You’ll see. That much is certain.” said George cryptically.
About half way through lunch, the castle was rocked by a large explosion. As the students piled out of the hall to see what had happened, several yelled “DUCK!” before flattening themselves on the floor in time for a large rocket to pass over them. The rocket was followed by a large Catherine wheel, which, apparently seeing Umbridge, altered course and headed for her with a menacing ‘veeeeeee’ sound, before veering out a window at the last second.
Making his way upstairs, Harry saw a large crate in the hall. Ducking behind a tapestry, he found Fred and George laughing silently. As he was about to speak, he heard Umbridge yelling “Do something, Argus! They’re escaping!”, before a cry of “Stupefy!”, which was followed by a deafening explosion.
“Don’t stun them, Filch!” said Umbridge to the squib, who was now yelling about his broom being on fire.
Fred stopped laughing long enough to say something.
“Oh, I hope she tries vanishing them next! They multiply by ten every time you try!”
The rest of the day found Umbridge running all over the castle, looking like Wile E. Coyote after an attempt to kill the roadrunner. All the professors seemed unable to rid their classrooms of the fireworks without her assistance.
Walking past the charms classroom, he saw Umbridge leaving.
“Thank you so much, Delores. I could have gotten rid of it myself, but I didn’t know if I had the Authority.” Said Flitwick, before shutting the door in her face.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday, 21 February 1996
Entrance Hall
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
19:50
Arriving in the Entrance Hall to find it packed again, Harry moved to get a better view of what was bound to be an exciting show.
“You two will be expelled!” shouted Umbridge, attempting to tower over Fred and George by standing on the stairs again.
“You know what, I don’t think we will be.” Fred remarked conversationally. “What do you think, George?”
“Nope, I don’t think we will be.”
“What makes you think that?” asked a smug looking Umbridge.
“Well, to be expelled, Accio Brooms!, you have to be a student.” said Fred.
“Fortunately,” said George, grabbing his broom as it reached him, “we won’t be attending any longer.”
The two of them mounted their brooms and rose into the air until they were level with Peeves.
“We won’t be seeing you any longer.” said Fred.
“Don’t bother to write.” said George.
“Don’t forget to visit Number 93 Diagon Alley” started Fred.
“Our new Premises!” finished George.
“Special discounts to students who swear to use our products to get rid of this old toad.” Said the twins together. “Give her hell from us, Peeves!”
To everyone’s surprise, Peeves snapped to attention and saluted them.
As they flew out of the hall and disappeared into the night, the crowd started to move into the great hall for dinner. The twins’ actions that day and evening were certain to enter into Hogwarts legend.
The following days found the school affected by countless pranks, students apparently vying for the newly vacant position of Pranker Extraordinaire. As the staff watched the disorder, they universally found it easier to avoid disciplining students. Harry witnessed McGonagall walk past Peeves who was unscrewing a chandelier without comment.
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