FicWad

On the day before they were to depart, King Aragorn and Queen Arwen summoned Frodo. She met them by the fountain in the court.

"Your Majesties" Hermione bowed low "How may I be of service to you today?" Cedric smiled back, then turned to his wife.

"As you know, I have chosen the path of mortality" Cho said softly "Soon, my father, my grandparents and many other elves will be leaving this realm, to travel to the undying lands" She took Cedric's hand "I will not be doing with them, and so there will be a space on the boat"

"My Lady" Hermione bowed again "I know what you are going to offer me, but I am fine. I wasn't bitten by the basilisk, nor did the ring have that much of an affect on me"

"I know" Cho smiled.

"So... what?"

"I also happen to know that a certain wizard will be departing on the same boat" The Queen gave a sly grin "So, if you could think of anyone you would like to go with her?" Hermione looked at her blankly "Say, one of your cousins?" Suddenly Hermione's expression became a lot less blank.

"My Lady, I think I underestimated you" She gave a broad smile "If you will excuse me now, I think I have a meeting with young Pippin"

"Of course" The Queen gave a short bow, then, after Hermione had vanished, she turned to her husband "Gandalf's going to kill us, isn't she?"

"Oh yeah"

xoxox

"Farewell, Theoden" George stood in front of Theoden's burial mount "As a father to me you were, if only for a short time"

"Well duh" Fred said "Do you have any more obvious statements to make, or can we prepare for Eowyn's wedding to Legolas?" He held up a big box, marked 'HHH'

"Where did you get that?"

"Hermione gave it to me" Fred replied "I don't know why, but she said something about me going on a cruise, and that I should find this useful"

"Cool" George smirked "So what... urk!"

"George?" He turned to find his twin laying flat out on the ground "What's wrong with... urk!" He collapsed. For a few moments, nothing moved, then Bill stepped out of a bush, holding a small sling-shot.

"Oh boys" He smirked "Do you never learn?" He turned to where Eowyn was emerging from the same bush "Okay - you can have your wedding now"

"Coolness!" Ginny turned to leave, then stopped "What about the cruise?"

"Don't worry about it" Bill shrugged "I'm sure it's not important"

xoxox

(Eowyn's wedding has been cut for time. But if you use your imagination, you can probably figure it out. However you should stop using your imagination before we get to the wedding night, because this is rated K+ and you wouldn't want to violate that rating, would you?)

xoxox

"So - we are nearly home" The four hobbits and Gandalf brought their horses to a halt on the road leading up to Hobbiton. Hermione looked round "That went pretty quickly, didn't it?"

"Maybe" Luna said shiftily.

"MCP again?"

"Well - did you really want to say goodbye ten dozen times? And I know - you wanted to do your ring-trick for your Aunt, but I really think it might have killed her, so I decided you should skip it and come straight here"

"You're probably right" Hermione sighed, then looked back to her home town "You really aren't coming to help?"

"You don't need me" Luna replied "You - all of you - are capable of dealing with whatever you find here" She smirked "And, be honest - if I beat the crap out of Pettigrew and Snape for you, won't you find it a bit of an anti-climax?"

"I suppose" Hermione smirked.

"I will see you at the boat?" Luna asked.

"Of course" Hermione nodded, resisting the urge to glance at Fred. They all watched as Luna rode out of sight, then turned back "So - you ready for the most depressing time of your life?"

"Worse than double potions?" Harry asked in surprise.

"Imagine an entire town being run by Snape" Hermione replied, then smirked when the other three all shivered "Now you are getting it" She prepared to gee-up her horse, but then turned "Oh - there is something else I forgot" She reached in to her bag, and pulled out four wands "Luna said that, since the spell is fading, we have our magic back" She handed each one of them their wand, then took hold of hers.

"You know what?" Fred said.

"What's that?" George asked.

"Suddenly, a town full of Wormtail's friends doesn't seem such a bad thing" Fred replied.

"You got that right" Hermione gave them a big smile "Shall we go?"

xoxox

"WHO GOES THERE?"

"Frodo Baggins and Friends. Let us in"

"No"

"REDUCTO!" All four hobbits yelled. When the dust cleared, a hobbit stood there, looking somewhat surprised.

"What the hell did you do to my door?"

"The same thing we will do to you, if you don't get the hell out of our way"

"Okay. You can come in. Have a nice day"

"Thank you" Hermione turned to the other three "See how nice I can be when everyone does what I say?"

xoxox

"Hey - looks like we've been found out" Harry indicated to the approaching posse "What do you think we should do?"

"Can I take this group?" George asked. Hermione nodded, and they continued riding.

"STOP WHERE YOU ARE!" The lead hobbit yelled out. A moment later, a blast of red light blew his hat off.

"Maybe you would like to rephrase that?" George asked politely. The lead hobbit took one look at him, and the other three, then fainted.

"Wow. Wormtail really knows how to pick 'em, doesn't he?"

"The rest of you" Harry called "You can either stay here, or escort us to your boss" There was a frantic five minutes of discussion, then the second in command turned back to the group.

"If it's all the same to you, we'll stay here"

"I thought you might decide that" Fred smirked "But remember this - we'll be back, so don't go messing us around"

"Sir, no sir!"

xoxox

Half an hour later, the group arrived at Bag End.

"Our reputation proceeds us" Hermione said when they realised the garden was empty.

"Shall we go in?"

"Yup, but be careful" Harry looked at the other three "It could be a trap" He saw the looks they gave him "That was kind of obvious, wasn't it?"

"Just a little"

They all dismounted, and walked in to Bag End.

"So - where is everyone?"

"Look behind you, Potter" A voice came from a side door. They turned to see Snape and Peter stood, side by side.

"Hello, Peter" Hermione said, and saw the flicker of recognition in his eyes "So - the spell is fading for you two too?"

"Well done, Granger" Snape sneered "Would you like to further display your dazzling intellect, or shall we proceed to the part where we kill you all?"

"You are not going to hurt us" Fred said, standing in front of Hermione. A moment later, George moved to protect Harry.

"That's sweet, guys, but it will be okay" Hermione walked round from behind the twins, and turned to face the two intruders "You can both leave, now. We won't harm you, and none of the other hobbits will" She glanced at Harry, who nodded "We have seen enough death in this story already"

"And why shouldn't we kill you now?" Peter asked, glancing at Harry, then back to Hermione.

"You would never reach them in time" Fred replied, again moving to get between Snape and Hermione.

"Are you sure about that?" Snape drew his wand "Tell me - have you ever heard of the killing curse?"

"No" Harry said "My parents died peacefully in their sleep"

"No they didn't" Peter said. Harry turned and stared at him "But I guess you knew that already" Harry continued to stare at him "I'll just shut up now"

"Good plan" He turned back to Snape "Yes, I have heard of the killing curse"

"But you won't get time to use it" Hermione said softly "Go, now, before you regret it"

"Very well" Snape took a step forward, then whipped his wand up "AVADA KE... urgh!" He fell over sideways, unconscious. Hermione, Fred and George stared at him, then at the small box next to his body, then at Harry, who was looking smug.

"Harry?"

"Yes, Hermione?"

"What the hell was that?"

"Well - you remember the gifts Galadriel gave us?"

"Yes?"

"Well - she said if I didn't die horribly, I might find that small box pretty useful" Harry smirked "Seems she was right" They all stared at him for a few moments longer, then they turned back to Wormtail.

"Peter?"

"Yes, Hermione?"

"Leave. Take him with you"

"Yes, Hermione" Peter leaned over, and started dragging Snape out of the hall. They watched him until he vanished out of the front door.

"Well - thats' the end of..." Fred was cut off by two screams from outside. For a moment, the four hobbits were silent, then George turned to Hermione.

"I guess they forgot about the bear pit they built then?"

"Seems so"

xoxox

"Your Majesty?"

"Yes?"

"There is an owl here with a message"

"Thank you" Cedric took the note from the aide, then read it, and started laughing.

"Husband?" Cho turned to stare at him "What's the matter?"

"Apparently we have just defeated Sauron, and Lord Aragorn is returning in triumph to the city" Cho stared at him in surprise for a few moments "Well - better late than never, I suppose"

xoxox

"Hermione?"

"Yes Harry?"

"Where's Fred?"

"Don't worry about it"

"Okay" A pause "Hermione?"

"Yes Harry?"

"Shouldn't you be setting off for The Grey Havens now?"

"I decided against it" She smirked "Oh - and Harry?"

"Yes, Hermione?"

"If a blonde, Ravenclaw wizard comes knocking?"

"Yes?"

"I'm out"

"Yes, Hermione" He paused for a moment, then a frown crossed his face "Hey - what did you mean by 'Hermione awoke with a jerk?'"

"Oh - nothing"

xoxox

(somewhere on the Sundering Seas)

"I'm going to kill her"