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Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Summer 4th year Revised

Reviews

• Summer 4th year Revised

  (#) dennisud 2008-08-30

  Wow a great start and keeping the 'others' away is a good idea.
  Again remember how catalystic Luna is, use her that way later on!
  
  dennisud

• Summer 4th year Revised

  (#) jump_jives 2008-08-30

  "...let her think this took a lot longer to decide. That might help us later on"
  
  I loved this, because, as a parent, I have done the same thing once or twice.
  
  This is a nice story. As you mentioned in your notes, Hermione and Harry are both OOC, but they are not radically so (after all its not like either of them is shaking up with Snape or Draco - shudder) and its AU. There were a few minor punctuation errors and a couple places where you put in the wrong pronoun, but all in all it was well written.

• Summer 4th year Revised

  (#) Sardor 2008-08-30

  A very nice beginning, I look foreward to reading more of this.
  
  One possible point that I have thought over and wondered several times which Sirius might pull off here as he seems to have quite a bit of influence there.
  
  Why doesn't he go to a foreign ministry and ask for questioning under Veritaserum regarding the day he was arrested and his role.
  
  It looks to me like a good way to prove his innocence and would be a nice egg in the face of the Geezergamot :)

  Author's response

  I will admit there is a continuation of the story floating around in my mind where Sirius visits France and does just that. rather that portion of the story gets written or not who knows. As I said this was on my hard drive for over a year before I cleaned it up and posted it. Plus there's Motorcycle to deal with.

• Summer 4th year Revised

  (#) Phinphile 2008-08-30

  I like the story idea Sardor has about serius getting help from a foreign government, hopefully someone will write it.

• Summer 4th year Revised

  (#) Wonderbee31 2008-08-31

  I'm glad I found this story, as it reads really well. Nice to think of the feelings that would grow with Harry and Hermione, and have to say, those feelings were there in canon, until they got shoved aside with a bulldozer bit of hack writing. Good part and is going on my favs list.

• Summer 4th year Revised

  (#) goku90504 2014-05-11

  Sirius smile to himself when he noticed the attention Harry was attracting
  smiled
  I wasn't even a bikini
  It
  His eyes went wide as Hermione head for the elevator.
  headed
  The activities they had in mind Harry dreamed about at might now but it wasn't a girl from the island's face he saw in his dreams.
  night
  

• Summer 4th year Revised

  (#) goku90504 2014-05-11

  'Their itching all right.'
  they're
  told me that thinks like that just were not done in her world,"
  things
  Oh in the majority of cases they would try to find out how the girl in question felt, but it is not be required.
  ???
  ch2
  why would the grangers be so strongly patriarchal in the muggle world?
  
  And their might be one or two other mothers that have been telling me how good a dancer their daughters are and all about the boyfriend they are bringing."
  
  there

• Summer 4th year Revised

  (#) goku90504 2014-05-11

  ch3
  where would harry have learned how to wear a tux?
  
  The judges willowed down the dancers over the next
  whittled??
  
  I've all ready made arrangements
  already
  
  "Hermione where are you folks I don't see them
  your
  

• Summer 4th year Revised

  (#) Bronze 2016-01-25

  Dumblethebumble won't likely allow that once he realizes Harry's back in England. He'll likely throw Harry's either back in Durskaban or Headquarters. In no way shape or form does that old goat molester want Harry to be happy.

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