Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Nobody Cares If We're Losing Ourselves
They cleared all their events for the rest of that day. The next three days were thankfully a lighter load and they would only have to deal with two meet and greets, three signings, and a radio interview for which Gerard would mysteriously catch something and not be able to attend. That left the rest of the time for the guys to train Jaime in the ways of being Gerard.
“This is hopeless! His handwriting is fucking perfect! I can’t possibly write like that once, let alone 3000 times a day!” Jaime threw her hands in the air, exasperated. At that particular moment Mikey was working on making her signature match Gerard’s. Frank, Ray, and Bob were covering another interview.
She dropped her pen and stood up. Mikey’s eyes never left her face. She glared at him, silently willing him to see the absurdity of the situation. A funny look crossed his face.
“What?” she snapped, meaning to sound curt, but coming out whiney. He lowered his eyes.
“Just, trying to picture you, you know, without Gerard’s body attached.”
She nodded. “Yeah that’s got to be really creepy, seeing your brother and knowing he’s not there.” In her six hours there she had already gathered that Mikey and Gerard were brothers, that Frank and Gerard acted like they were dating, but were in fact both married, that it took a natural disaster or a deadline to unglue Ray from his videogames, and that Bob was quite likely the only sane member of the group.
Mikey shrugged. “Most of the time I hardly notice. You’re so different from Gerard. The way you talk, the way you move. The fact that you know nothing about how to survive in our lifestyle.” He laughed. “It’d just be easier if I knew what you look like. So I could see you behind the mask.”
She smiled, reaching in her pocket for her phone. “I have a picture on my – scratch that. Not my phone.” She held up Gerard’s phone and sighed. “I’m still not used to that.” She dropped the phone and it bounced twice on the couch, ending up closer to Mikey than to her.
“It’s alright. Come on, write your signature a couple hundred more times, that’ll get your mind off it.”
“Why are we doing this?” Jaime asked.
“Because you’re handwriting sucks.”
“No, I meant why are we doing this?”
Mikey rolled his eyes. “Oh well if that’s what you meant, why didn’t you say so?”
“I mean – ” she paused, not sure how to continue. “I mean why are we trying to turn me into Gerard instead of finding him, finding me, finding him and my body? Why aren’t we looking? Why aren’t we trying to fix this, instead of acting like it’s hopeless and just living with it? I mean, don’t you guys want to find Gerard? You’ve been great and all, but I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be a rock star. I don’t want that life. This life. I don’t want any of it. I just want to go home.”
Mikey stood and wrapped her in a hug. “We are looking, Jay, I promise. And we’ll find him. Or you. We will. And when we do we’ll figure out how to undo whatever happened. But until then we have to make sure no one notices anything.”
“So cancel. Cancel everything, we’ll fix this, and then we’ll all go back to our own lives. Don’t make me be him.”
“Jaime,” his tone was firm, cautious. “We don’t know how long it’ll be before we can change everything back.”
She flinched. “If we can change it back,” she whispered.
“We will get you back to your life, Jaime, I promise. But until we do you’re going to have to live in ours. I know you don’t understand why we feel this way, but we can’t stop. It wouldn’t be fair to do that to the fans. And they need this as much as we do.”
She nodded. “It just feels like, if I learn all this stuff, you’re counting on me to have to use it. I was hoping I wouldn’t be here that long.”
“We’re doing what we can.”
“I know.”
Just then Gerard’s phone went off. Mikey, who was closer to it, snatched it up off the couch and flipped it open. His face wrinkled up in confusion.
“What’s wrong?” Jamie asked.
“I don’t recognize the number, and it’s not in Gee’s contact list.”
“Let me see it,” Jaime took the phone from Mikey. Her face lit up as she recognized the number. “It’s Tyler!”
Before Mikey could stop her, she had the phone open and to her ear. “Hello?”
“Who is this?”
“Tyler, it’s – ” she cut off, suddenly realizing the situation.
“How do you know my name?”
“I…um – ”
“Is Jaime there?”
“She’s, um…well, she’s – ”
“You bastard, if you touch her I swear to god…” with that he hung up.
Jaime stared at the dead phone in her hand for a moment. “He hung up on me.”
“Who was that?”
“My brother, he – ”
“Shit.”
“What?”
“Well obviously Jaime isn’t there, so where is she? Either it’s Gerard and he’s run off somewhere, or you just ceased to exist.”
“Is that possible?”
“I don’t know I’m making it up as I go along here. I’ve never been in this situation before! Either way all Tyler knows is that his sister is missing. How would he take that?”
Jaime’s voice became quiet, remembering her overprotective older brother. Ever since the incident with Brandon he’d hardly let her out of his sight. “He’d freak out.”
Mikey nodded as though he’d already expected the answer. “And now he’s tied Gerard to Jaime. He must have found the paper Gee gave you.”
“It was in my room,” Jaime’s voice was still quiet, processing what that meant.
As if on cue, police sirens suddenly erupted outside the bus. Three officers opened the doors and marched down the bus hallway to where the two were seated.
“Gerard Way?” one of the officers asked. It took Jaime a moment to realize that he was talking to her before she nodded. “You’re under arrest for the kidnapping of Jaime Evans.”
“This is hopeless! His handwriting is fucking perfect! I can’t possibly write like that once, let alone 3000 times a day!” Jaime threw her hands in the air, exasperated. At that particular moment Mikey was working on making her signature match Gerard’s. Frank, Ray, and Bob were covering another interview.
She dropped her pen and stood up. Mikey’s eyes never left her face. She glared at him, silently willing him to see the absurdity of the situation. A funny look crossed his face.
“What?” she snapped, meaning to sound curt, but coming out whiney. He lowered his eyes.
“Just, trying to picture you, you know, without Gerard’s body attached.”
She nodded. “Yeah that’s got to be really creepy, seeing your brother and knowing he’s not there.” In her six hours there she had already gathered that Mikey and Gerard were brothers, that Frank and Gerard acted like they were dating, but were in fact both married, that it took a natural disaster or a deadline to unglue Ray from his videogames, and that Bob was quite likely the only sane member of the group.
Mikey shrugged. “Most of the time I hardly notice. You’re so different from Gerard. The way you talk, the way you move. The fact that you know nothing about how to survive in our lifestyle.” He laughed. “It’d just be easier if I knew what you look like. So I could see you behind the mask.”
She smiled, reaching in her pocket for her phone. “I have a picture on my – scratch that. Not my phone.” She held up Gerard’s phone and sighed. “I’m still not used to that.” She dropped the phone and it bounced twice on the couch, ending up closer to Mikey than to her.
“It’s alright. Come on, write your signature a couple hundred more times, that’ll get your mind off it.”
“Why are we doing this?” Jaime asked.
“Because you’re handwriting sucks.”
“No, I meant why are we doing this?”
Mikey rolled his eyes. “Oh well if that’s what you meant, why didn’t you say so?”
“I mean – ” she paused, not sure how to continue. “I mean why are we trying to turn me into Gerard instead of finding him, finding me, finding him and my body? Why aren’t we looking? Why aren’t we trying to fix this, instead of acting like it’s hopeless and just living with it? I mean, don’t you guys want to find Gerard? You’ve been great and all, but I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be a rock star. I don’t want that life. This life. I don’t want any of it. I just want to go home.”
Mikey stood and wrapped her in a hug. “We are looking, Jay, I promise. And we’ll find him. Or you. We will. And when we do we’ll figure out how to undo whatever happened. But until then we have to make sure no one notices anything.”
“So cancel. Cancel everything, we’ll fix this, and then we’ll all go back to our own lives. Don’t make me be him.”
“Jaime,” his tone was firm, cautious. “We don’t know how long it’ll be before we can change everything back.”
She flinched. “If we can change it back,” she whispered.
“We will get you back to your life, Jaime, I promise. But until we do you’re going to have to live in ours. I know you don’t understand why we feel this way, but we can’t stop. It wouldn’t be fair to do that to the fans. And they need this as much as we do.”
She nodded. “It just feels like, if I learn all this stuff, you’re counting on me to have to use it. I was hoping I wouldn’t be here that long.”
“We’re doing what we can.”
“I know.”
Just then Gerard’s phone went off. Mikey, who was closer to it, snatched it up off the couch and flipped it open. His face wrinkled up in confusion.
“What’s wrong?” Jamie asked.
“I don’t recognize the number, and it’s not in Gee’s contact list.”
“Let me see it,” Jaime took the phone from Mikey. Her face lit up as she recognized the number. “It’s Tyler!”
Before Mikey could stop her, she had the phone open and to her ear. “Hello?”
“Who is this?”
“Tyler, it’s – ” she cut off, suddenly realizing the situation.
“How do you know my name?”
“I…um – ”
“Is Jaime there?”
“She’s, um…well, she’s – ”
“You bastard, if you touch her I swear to god…” with that he hung up.
Jaime stared at the dead phone in her hand for a moment. “He hung up on me.”
“Who was that?”
“My brother, he – ”
“Shit.”
“What?”
“Well obviously Jaime isn’t there, so where is she? Either it’s Gerard and he’s run off somewhere, or you just ceased to exist.”
“Is that possible?”
“I don’t know I’m making it up as I go along here. I’ve never been in this situation before! Either way all Tyler knows is that his sister is missing. How would he take that?”
Jaime’s voice became quiet, remembering her overprotective older brother. Ever since the incident with Brandon he’d hardly let her out of his sight. “He’d freak out.”
Mikey nodded as though he’d already expected the answer. “And now he’s tied Gerard to Jaime. He must have found the paper Gee gave you.”
“It was in my room,” Jaime’s voice was still quiet, processing what that meant.
As if on cue, police sirens suddenly erupted outside the bus. Three officers opened the doors and marched down the bus hallway to where the two were seated.
“Gerard Way?” one of the officers asked. It took Jaime a moment to realize that he was talking to her before she nodded. “You’re under arrest for the kidnapping of Jaime Evans.”
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