Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Ever Get The Feeling That You're Never All Alone?
“They’re on the other side now,” Addie said excitedly. I peered over her shoulder at them. All the lights had been turned off so I could only see dark figures, giving me no indication of what they looked like. They filed onstage and readied themselves with instruments.
The lights were still out when the music started. I could see the singer holding one arm up, shaking, facing the back of the stage. I squinted, trying to get a good look at him. I stepped forwards and then the lights came on.
“Holy shit,” I breathed. Addie nudged me “I like the little one, on guitar,” I stepped back, preparing to grab my bag and run, when the lead singer turned his head, and stopped singing. He had seen me. Gerard had seen me.
Without doing anything else he ran offstage towards me, but I was already outside in the corridor, with Addie calling after me.
They were all there. They were all onstage. My Chemical Romance was them. Frank and Ray both held guitars, while Bob played drums and Mikey was on bass. I ran down the hallway and could hear his footsteps behind me.
I didn’t stop, I couldn’t. I just couldn’t see him again.
“Adie, stop, please!” He yelled behind me. He sounded sad, but I ignored him and pushed the back door open and ran into the warm New York night.
But in the time it had taken me to push the heavy door open he had caught up to me and was only a few steps behind me. I felt his hands grab my sweater and pull me back. I screamed as he whipped me around to face him and pull me close and hug me tightly.
“Adrienne,” was all he said. I stopped struggling and stood in his embrace, hating how right it felt. I was ready to talk to him, when the other guys burst out of the club.
Mikey stepped forward and said “Gerard, what the fuck are you d- Adie?” He stepped forward but I tore myself from Gerard’s arms and ran down the street. I could hear them arguing and I heard Addie voice, and I stopped. What if they hurt Addie? I slowly walked back, hiding around the corner from them and watching them. They were talking to her, and she was pointing in the direction I ran. She was telling them where we lived!
I turned and ran down the street and signalled for a cab. I shouted the address at him and told him to step on it. Luckily there was no traffic and we reached my building within minutes. I shoved money at the cabby and raced upstairs, cursing the stupid broken elevator. I ran into my apartment and through to my room where I grabbed some stuff and shoved it into a duffle bag.
“Adie?”
It was Addison. I walked into the hallway, looking around cautiously. “Are they here?” I said quietly. She shook her head. “They stayed to play their gig, but they told me they’d be here around 11. Adie, what’s going on?” She sat down, but I kept packing. “I need to leave. And I can’t ever come back. I think it’s best if you leave too, or they’ll hurt you.” She stood back up “Adrienne, who are they? What’s going on?” This time she was stern and angry. I sighed and turned around. “Before I came here, when I lived in Colorado, I lived with those guys. They are a group of killers. They killed my parents and held me there for months until they were discovered and had to leave for Jersey, and I escaped on the way. They’ll kill anyone in their way; I’ve seen it first hand.”
Memories sprang to my head of when I told Wil almost the same story, and so I chose to leave out the bits about falling in love with my parents’ murderer and his brother, and the friendship with Frank, and that I killed a girl.
Addie sat back down dejectedly, and I continued stuffing my bag. “I didn’t know.” She whispered, horrified. “It’s ok, how could you have?” She shook her head. “No… I’m so sorry…” she ran her hands through her hair. “What? What’s going on?” I said, panicking. Addie's eyes flickered to the door behind me.
I turned around in horror to see Mikey standing behind me. I didn’t even have a chance to scream as he grabbed me and dragged me into the living room where they were all standing.
“How rude of you to run away,” Mikey drawled. Gerard was over by the window. It was too clear who the leader was now. Mikey, with his firm hold on my shoulders, sat me down on the couch and sat himself on the coffee table so he was facing me. He was breathing heavily with his head down. He waited a minute before looking up and me and talking slowly and deliberately through clenched teeth. “We looked everywhere for you. We did nothing but look for you for months.” I stared straight ahead out the window, not replying. He grabbed my cheeks and turned my head and screamed into my face “Why the fuck did you run from me?”
I had no choice but to look up at him. “Mikey, I ran away from you because you’ve fucking changed! I got so pissed off with you trying to be Gerard I had to fucking leave, I couldn’t take it anymore! Just as Gerard started to clean up his act, you dragged yours through the dirt. You became everything I hated in Gerard as he became everything I loved in you.”
“I felt awful betraying Gerard, you knew that. And you also knew what my final decision would be, so you killed him. But that never happened, did it Mikey?” I snarled, still struggling under his strong grip.
“You couldn’t stand it could you Mikey? Could you?” I demanded. He loosened his grip and looked away, to the ground.
“I loved him more than I loved you, and you could never understand why. He was a brute, he was a murderer. All he did was hurt me, and yet I loved him more than you, and it tore you apart, didn’t it?” I was yelling now, turning the volume up with each word. I didn’t know what else was going on in the room, all I knew was I wanted to break Mikey, to hurt him.
“And so you became Gerard! You were nasty, you hurt me, and I still loved him! So you had to get rid of him, your own brother, who raised you and sacrificed so much for you.” I was quieting down now. I leaned in close and whispered in his ear “But you couldn’t even do that. You didn’t have the guts. You will never be Gerard.”
He had completely let me go, so I stood up and went over to Gerard. I looked up into his eyes. “Gerard, I’m sorry. But you, and your friends, and your brother have to leave. And please, never come back.” I said it dully, without emotion. Because if I’d have let my real feelings show I would have been begging him to stay.
He nodded. “Bye Adrienne. I’m so sorry.” He kissed my cheek gently, but I turned and kissed his lips. “I’m sorry too.” I said softly. I hugged each of the guys, apologising again, to Mikey, and then they were gone.
Addie stood in the hallway with her eyebrows raised. “They’re gonna be famous one day, you know, and when they are, you gonna regret that, is all I’m saying.” I let out a hollow laugh and agreed.
They probably will be famous. And though between me and Gerard, six people’s lives were changed and brought to the brink of ruin, and even if we never speak again, it’ll be fine.
I have no regret.
Because I saved them.
That's it! It's finished forever!
I hope everyone liked or even loved it, I loved writing it.
And thanks goes to these loverrrrly peoples: never0kay, _cranium_, IllKillYou,
Uhmhiimemily, lalalovexjeje, clutsy_93, MrsMeganWay, wheresyourheart, XxCRYSTALLINExX, stupid-little-lamb, xXBXx, TheChemicalRose and anyone else who ever reviewed or rated. You guys never failed to put a smile on my face!
Thank you Eliza (LizerrCakes!), Jodi lee (PLWwayy) and Paul (GitUnderTheHouse) for all your help and lovely suggestions. Credit goes to you Eliza for the ass-secks scene and Paul with all his help with the location.
Thank you to my victims: Eliza, Jodi, Courtney (wheresyourheart), Addison (TheChemicalRose), Nathan and Robert, Vivien, Jack and ROSIE.
As always, Rate, Review and say goodbye!
xox.
The lights were still out when the music started. I could see the singer holding one arm up, shaking, facing the back of the stage. I squinted, trying to get a good look at him. I stepped forwards and then the lights came on.
“Holy shit,” I breathed. Addie nudged me “I like the little one, on guitar,” I stepped back, preparing to grab my bag and run, when the lead singer turned his head, and stopped singing. He had seen me. Gerard had seen me.
Without doing anything else he ran offstage towards me, but I was already outside in the corridor, with Addie calling after me.
They were all there. They were all onstage. My Chemical Romance was them. Frank and Ray both held guitars, while Bob played drums and Mikey was on bass. I ran down the hallway and could hear his footsteps behind me.
I didn’t stop, I couldn’t. I just couldn’t see him again.
“Adie, stop, please!” He yelled behind me. He sounded sad, but I ignored him and pushed the back door open and ran into the warm New York night.
But in the time it had taken me to push the heavy door open he had caught up to me and was only a few steps behind me. I felt his hands grab my sweater and pull me back. I screamed as he whipped me around to face him and pull me close and hug me tightly.
“Adrienne,” was all he said. I stopped struggling and stood in his embrace, hating how right it felt. I was ready to talk to him, when the other guys burst out of the club.
Mikey stepped forward and said “Gerard, what the fuck are you d- Adie?” He stepped forward but I tore myself from Gerard’s arms and ran down the street. I could hear them arguing and I heard Addie voice, and I stopped. What if they hurt Addie? I slowly walked back, hiding around the corner from them and watching them. They were talking to her, and she was pointing in the direction I ran. She was telling them where we lived!
I turned and ran down the street and signalled for a cab. I shouted the address at him and told him to step on it. Luckily there was no traffic and we reached my building within minutes. I shoved money at the cabby and raced upstairs, cursing the stupid broken elevator. I ran into my apartment and through to my room where I grabbed some stuff and shoved it into a duffle bag.
“Adie?”
It was Addison. I walked into the hallway, looking around cautiously. “Are they here?” I said quietly. She shook her head. “They stayed to play their gig, but they told me they’d be here around 11. Adie, what’s going on?” She sat down, but I kept packing. “I need to leave. And I can’t ever come back. I think it’s best if you leave too, or they’ll hurt you.” She stood back up “Adrienne, who are they? What’s going on?” This time she was stern and angry. I sighed and turned around. “Before I came here, when I lived in Colorado, I lived with those guys. They are a group of killers. They killed my parents and held me there for months until they were discovered and had to leave for Jersey, and I escaped on the way. They’ll kill anyone in their way; I’ve seen it first hand.”
Memories sprang to my head of when I told Wil almost the same story, and so I chose to leave out the bits about falling in love with my parents’ murderer and his brother, and the friendship with Frank, and that I killed a girl.
Addie sat back down dejectedly, and I continued stuffing my bag. “I didn’t know.” She whispered, horrified. “It’s ok, how could you have?” She shook her head. “No… I’m so sorry…” she ran her hands through her hair. “What? What’s going on?” I said, panicking. Addie's eyes flickered to the door behind me.
I turned around in horror to see Mikey standing behind me. I didn’t even have a chance to scream as he grabbed me and dragged me into the living room where they were all standing.
“How rude of you to run away,” Mikey drawled. Gerard was over by the window. It was too clear who the leader was now. Mikey, with his firm hold on my shoulders, sat me down on the couch and sat himself on the coffee table so he was facing me. He was breathing heavily with his head down. He waited a minute before looking up and me and talking slowly and deliberately through clenched teeth. “We looked everywhere for you. We did nothing but look for you for months.” I stared straight ahead out the window, not replying. He grabbed my cheeks and turned my head and screamed into my face “Why the fuck did you run from me?”
I had no choice but to look up at him. “Mikey, I ran away from you because you’ve fucking changed! I got so pissed off with you trying to be Gerard I had to fucking leave, I couldn’t take it anymore! Just as Gerard started to clean up his act, you dragged yours through the dirt. You became everything I hated in Gerard as he became everything I loved in you.”
“I felt awful betraying Gerard, you knew that. And you also knew what my final decision would be, so you killed him. But that never happened, did it Mikey?” I snarled, still struggling under his strong grip.
“You couldn’t stand it could you Mikey? Could you?” I demanded. He loosened his grip and looked away, to the ground.
“I loved him more than I loved you, and you could never understand why. He was a brute, he was a murderer. All he did was hurt me, and yet I loved him more than you, and it tore you apart, didn’t it?” I was yelling now, turning the volume up with each word. I didn’t know what else was going on in the room, all I knew was I wanted to break Mikey, to hurt him.
“And so you became Gerard! You were nasty, you hurt me, and I still loved him! So you had to get rid of him, your own brother, who raised you and sacrificed so much for you.” I was quieting down now. I leaned in close and whispered in his ear “But you couldn’t even do that. You didn’t have the guts. You will never be Gerard.”
He had completely let me go, so I stood up and went over to Gerard. I looked up into his eyes. “Gerard, I’m sorry. But you, and your friends, and your brother have to leave. And please, never come back.” I said it dully, without emotion. Because if I’d have let my real feelings show I would have been begging him to stay.
He nodded. “Bye Adrienne. I’m so sorry.” He kissed my cheek gently, but I turned and kissed his lips. “I’m sorry too.” I said softly. I hugged each of the guys, apologising again, to Mikey, and then they were gone.
Addie stood in the hallway with her eyebrows raised. “They’re gonna be famous one day, you know, and when they are, you gonna regret that, is all I’m saying.” I let out a hollow laugh and agreed.
They probably will be famous. And though between me and Gerard, six people’s lives were changed and brought to the brink of ruin, and even if we never speak again, it’ll be fine.
I have no regret.
Because I saved them.
That's it! It's finished forever!
I hope everyone liked or even loved it, I loved writing it.
And thanks goes to these loverrrrly peoples: never0kay, _cranium_, IllKillYou,
Uhmhiimemily, lalalovexjeje, clutsy_93, MrsMeganWay, wheresyourheart, XxCRYSTALLINExX, stupid-little-lamb, xXBXx, TheChemicalRose and anyone else who ever reviewed or rated. You guys never failed to put a smile on my face!
Thank you Eliza (LizerrCakes!), Jodi lee (PLWwayy) and Paul (GitUnderTheHouse) for all your help and lovely suggestions. Credit goes to you Eliza for the ass-secks scene and Paul with all his help with the location.
Thank you to my victims: Eliza, Jodi, Courtney (wheresyourheart), Addison (TheChemicalRose), Nathan and Robert, Vivien, Jack and ROSIE.
As always, Rate, Review and say goodbye!
xox.
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