Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > To Be Announced

"Vegetables That Can Harm Your Fetus"

by God_Reads_Ferards

Bert is just racking up the enemies. Frank, the police, Fat redneck women...

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: NC-17 - Genres: Drama,Humor,Romance - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way - Warnings: [!!] [?] - Published: 2008-09-10 - Updated: 2008-09-10 - 1528 words - Complete

?Blocked
My fists tighten at my sides, and I can feel my cracked nails sink into the soft flesh of my palms. Frank strides into the room with this aura of confidence wrapped around him, his large eyes taking in the surroundings.

"Damn Gee... you really know how to pick a winner." he snorts.

I sneer darkly, pointing a finger at him, "Hey fuck you, shortstop. He's safer here than with a douchebag like yourself."

Frank growls deeply, "Don't call me 'shortstop', asswipe."

I just smirk proudly, "Oh... will leprechaun do then?"

Frank lets out an angry wail and lunges for me, but the trooper steps between us and holds up her hands, "Both of you stop it or we're taking you in too."

I sigh deeply and plop down on Gee's bed, and look up at everyone. Gee's still huddled near the corner, sobbing loudly and petting his stomach for comfort. It's not until silence has fallen over the room anyone even notices he's there. A crude smile passes over Frank's face, and he approaches him, "Hello, Gee."

Gee lets out a terrified scream, and pushes himself further into the corner, crying heavily as Frank sets a hand on his shoulder.

"Why won't you come home with me?"

Gee shakes his head furiously, "Pl-Please don't Frankie... " he trails off with a frightened whimper, his broken eyes connecting with mine.

The trooper scans between the three of us, and finally spits out, "What was the verdict on the trial."

Frank stands up, pushing Gee back as he does so, "Innocent... on a lack of evidence."

The smug tone is practically dripping off his lips as he shoots a twisted grin at the officers. "Gee's been known to lie, and he wanted the sex."

"YOU FUCKING LIAR!" he screeches, cheeks flushes and tears coursing down them.

"You force-fed me pills for an hour straight, and then fucked me in you're parent's basement!" he cried, holding onto the curtains for support.

The trooper just sighs, "We'll need to hold a custody trial... you're free to go Gerard."

"What?!" Frank screams, "That's not fair, he kidnapped my kid!"

She just smirks softly, "It's still a fetus. You have no rights over it yet."

Frank huffs loudly and storms out of the room, the burly officer following him and grumbling darkly. The trooper lingers a few moments longer, her eyes scanning the pristine floor and Gee's drawings and books scattered across the lumpy desk on the east wall. I help Gee back into bed, hushing him and brushing his hair behind his ears.

"I'm sorry we didn't listen before," she says quietly, folding her hands over the arrest papers, "We'll set up a custody case once we have enough evidence from both parties."

I nod, and draw the quilt over Gee's shaking form. She just sighs to herself and leaves the room, trotting quietly down the stairs and out the front door.

Gee lets out this tiny sigh that breaks the silence and I look down at him, his large eyes red-rimmed and watering. He swallows quietly and brushes more tears from his eyes. "I have a doctor's appointment today... would you take me?"

I look up at the little blue clock on his desk. It's almost 9.

"I have to go into the clinic at 3. When is it?"

He shrugs softly, looking deflated and pale, "Like, 12 or something."

I sit down beside him, running my hands through his sticky hair, "I'll call Anna and tell her I'll be a bit late."

He smiles, but doesn't lift his head to look at, just keeps his focus on his hands.

"Thank you," he mumbles, before a hopeful grin settles in his features.


+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
So I've decided that doctor's offices suck.

A lot.

They're all cramped and smelly and filled with awkward magazines that chide you're parenting skills or condemn any and everything you eat/do/touch or whatever. But... far and away... this is the worst. We're at an OB-GYN office, and we look awkward. And I mean awkward. We're the only guys in the entire office, nurses and doctors included, and we both have this strange look about us. Gee just keeps to himself, occasionally sighing or muttering to himself, before he shifts in the disgusting plastic chair and tries to get comfortable again. I've my hand laid on top of his, mostly to keep him from spazzing out and bolting from the room, but also to make myself look a little less suspicious. Maybe they'll just think we're an adorable gay couple waiting for our friend to come out and tell us she's pregnant and giving us the baby because she's hardcore mega-lesbian and doesn't want kids. Just lots and lots of pussy.

Gee coughs softly and lays his head on my shoulder, yawning, "I want this to be over."

I look over at him, "This situation, or the pregnancy in general?"

His eyes dart to a pile of pregnancy magazines, all with disturbing headlines like "Vegetables That Can Harm Your Fetus" and my personal favorite "Vaginal Exercises". There's a quiet click, and everyone's heads dart up to the door. A wiry looking nurse is standing there, a look of utter confusion on her face, "Gerard?"

He huffs deeply and flops over, his nose almost to his knees, "Come with me?"

I blink, but shrug it off and help him to his feet. A couple of the women look near homicidal, like we’re usurping on the one thing that keeps them separated from “the boys”. One, who’s dressed in an oversized John Deere shirt and a pair of stained khakis keeps her beady eyes on us the whole time, holding her meaty fists close to her heart.

“God will find you… he knows all,” she mutters, making this weird cross with her fat, stubby fingers.

Gee whimpers nervously and rushes forward a bit, keeping his head low and his hair over his face. The woman keeps ranting, throwing out horrible slurs and yelling about how we’re bringing about the end of the world. I look up at Gee, who’s now burgundy red and tearing up with his hands shoved deep down into his pockets.

“This was a mistake, Bert.” He burbles, wiping off his cheeks and keeping his gaze connected to the ratty carpet.

I shake my head and look up at the nurse, who just keeps staring at us with her mouth wide open, “The only mistake was Frank ever touching you.”

The woman is now standing, screaming out bible verses and calling Gee an abomination.

That’s when I snap.

“Would you please sit down? Jesus Christ! He wants this, unlike you! You’re just a dimwitted bible-humping backwoods dumpster baby! I bet you’re in on you’re 5th pregnancy, and I bet it’s not you’re husband’s! You don’t even have a husband, do you?” I scream, watching in a silent glory as the woman pales and sinks slowly back into her seat.

A couple of the other women in the room murmur softly, before a scattered, broken applause breaks out from the group. I just smirk and rush back up to Gee’s side, eager to go into the office with him.

Everything in this place is painted an elegant shade of pink or purple, and the walls are covered with posters of babies and pregnant women and tasteful shots of nude models. But the thing I notice most is the lack of masculinity. There aren’t even any male doctors or nurses. It’s [u]all[/u] women.

Gee clings to my arm, and I can feel him trembling, “This is a huge mistake. Let’s just leave.”

I push him forward, trying to keep pace with the nurse, “You need this Gee. You’ll be fine.”

He groans softly, “But what if they… ya know…”

He trails off and blushes an even deeper red than before, twiddling his hands together, “You know… Like if-”

I just cock my eyebrow, trying to hold in my laughter as he panics under my gaze. The nurse stops at a door and opens it up, smiling awkwardly as we pass her.

“Just umm, get comfy and someone will be with you soon.” She squeaks, her tinny voice grating against the silence of the room.

Gee just shudders and scrambles onto the table, tucking his feet together and chewing on his thumbnail, “You don’t have to stay in here you know.”

I grin at him, “I’ll leave if you want me too.”

“No!” He half-shouts, nearly falling off the exam table, “No… stay for a little while.”

I just laugh and roll my eyes, stretching out on the little loveseat and folding my hands behind my head. Gee giggles as well, some off the color draining from his face. There’s a quiet knock and the knob begins to turn, causing Gee to yelp and sit up straight, crinkling the nasty sanitary paper and ripping a good chunk of it with his ass. I fix my gaze on the door as the doctor walks through, a tiny beam on her face.

“Mr. Way?”
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