Categories > TV > O.C. > Curve of the Earth
Chapter Five: The Walk
"Whoa hold up dude, you've only been here like ten minutes and already you're running back to Boston. I thought I was the one who hated Newport?" Seth stepped directly into the doorway blocking Ryan's path and making sure he couldn't slip past without a fight.
"I can't do this I thought I could but I can't. I'm going back to Boston."
"Ok first off, my Mom is expecting us for dinner in like twenty minutes when the take out gets here, and I am not going to be the one who has to explain to her why you're not sitting there eating with us. I mean did you see her face, how happy she was when she saw you? Did you see my face? What about my dad's? Now explaining it to myself, that I think I can handle and if not I'll just go upstairs and have Captain Oats explain it to me, he's good at breaking bad news. But my parents, not even Captain Oats can tackle that one buddy. I mean my God Ryan you haven't been home in damn near two years, and now you just want to take off again after spending ten minutes alone in the pool house. I don't get it, but I know that it's pretty damn selfish."
Ryan and Seth locked eyes, each staring the other down looking for answers, and waiting for the other to break. Ryan swallowed hard and crashed down on the bed, breaking the gaze, and blowing out a harsh breath as he did. "Why am I here Seth?" It was the question he'd wondered about since Anna showed up in his dorm room. "Why am I here, what is so important that Summer sent Anna after me. And why the hell couldn't one of you done it? Why was there a deal? What the hell is going on?"
"Those are all very good questions and as much as I'd love to answer those questions for you, I can't. It's just not my place man, or I would have answered them for you months ago."
Ryan knew if Seth wasn't telling him something, there had to be a very very good reason. So as confused as he was he wasn't going to press the issue. "I'm going for a walk... I might be late for dinner but I'll be back." He didn't give Seth a chance to speak, merely shoved past him.
"This is going to be a great fucking holiday," Seth moaned to himself before entering back into the kitchen.
"Hey where's Ryan?" Kirsten promptly greeted him.
"Oh I see how it is the prodigal son returns and I'm just chop suey right?"
"Seth.... Where's Ryan?"
"He went for a walk, he said he might be a bit late for dinner but he just needed to readjust to being back in Newport."
"Well I called Jimmy and Hailey to see if they wanted to come have dinner, and Marissa was there, so I invited her over too."
"You called Marissa..."
"No I called my sister..." Seth shot his mother an I know you beeter than that look. "Ok, ok so I called Marissa, is that such a bad thing?"
"Mom, they didn't exactly part on the best terms, I mean Ryan took off and left a note said see at Thanksgiving, only we didn't. And Marissa camp and locked herself in our pool house for how long? I don't know even when I left to go back to school she was still locked in there doing nothing but crying about how she'd lied to Ryan for his own good, but she felt like she'd made the worst mistake of her life..."
"Seth I know that they didn't leave things on the best circumstances, but maybe if we get them in the same room..."
"Except Ryan's got a girlfriend, a med student, Leslie, Laney, something like that..."
"Her name is Lacy." Summer piped in as she entered the kitchen from the living room. "They've been dating like over a year now, but he's sooo not in love with her. He still hasn't gotten over Marissa. Which Mrs. C, as much as I hate to admit Cohen's right, he is. It wasn't the best idea to call Marissa.... It's not going to be a pretty situation."
"See, exactly what I was saying."
Kirsten looked at the two kids and empathicly shrugged her shoulders. She was only trying to do what she thought was right. Ryan had a right to know, and no one else was going to tell him. It was a silent pact between all of them that Marissa would have to be the one to tell him. So maybe she wasn't doing what was best for Ryan but what was best for everyone else. She knew from personal experience that some secrets tear at your heart until they finally burst through. And everyone was already bleeding too much over this secret as it stood.
The walk to the pier seemed longer than Ryan remembered it. Or maybe it was just that he hadn't been there in what felt like eons. He looked out over the water, so many memories, all of them containing Marissa. Sometimes he felt like he didn't have any memories without her in them. Like if you were to ask him to name off all the kids in his third grade class, she would be in there too. Logically he knew he didn't even meet her until he was seventeen, but the heart doesn't work that way. Now he could defend himself and say that he could remember watching Seth eat paste in the first grade or that Summer was the first girl in his fifth grade class to wear perfume but it was different with Marissa. She'd been inserted in every part of his heart.
"You know what we haven't done in a while?"
The memory caused chills to rush his body. He had kissed her that day for the first time in months and he had wanted to used that kiss to take all her pain away. But it seemed like she always had pain, and he always wanted to be her white knight. He gave himself a half cocked smile, and pulled his jacket a little tighter around himself. It was colder than he remembered it be too, or maybe it was just the chills that seemed to keep rushing through his body. In the distance he could hear a band playing, 'probably coming from the Bait Shop,' he thought to himself. He listened carefully trying to make out the lyrics.
I laid there for days
And you forgot
In one night
You made me your own
In one hour
You gave me away
Now I am just a sillhoutte down there
Music was something he'd learned from Seth to appericate. He now understood how with the right tune or the right lyric you could completely lose yourself, and go back to someplace that you'd forgotten about. Another half cocked smile crossed his face, and slowly he started to let the lyrics take him to a place he'd hadn't been in a while. He remembered the first time he and Marissa had made love. And he could call it that because it truly was making love. But his memories weren't so much about the act itself, but about afterwards. She lied next to him, and for at least a couple of hours he just watched her sleep. It was the most at peace he'd ever seen her. And ever now and then he'd carefully run his fingers through her hair, and give her a slight kiss on the neck, being sure not to wake her.
There was a time when that memory put him to sleep every night, but then the time came where he forced himself to stop living in the past. Where he forced himself to move on, and forced his heart to understand that his mind was saying that they would never be again. It was about the same time he meet Lacy. Lacy, it was the first time he'd thought of her since he'd boarded the airplane to Newport. She was his second chance at happiness, his heart sank in his chest for a moment, 'God I hope a didn't screw that up' he thought to himself.
Ryan stuff his hands deep into his pockets as yet a another chill cursed his body. This time the chill was caused by the wind gusting towards him. He felt like it was forcing him to turn in the other direction, something immedatily he wished he hadn't done.
"Whoa hold up dude, you've only been here like ten minutes and already you're running back to Boston. I thought I was the one who hated Newport?" Seth stepped directly into the doorway blocking Ryan's path and making sure he couldn't slip past without a fight.
"I can't do this I thought I could but I can't. I'm going back to Boston."
"Ok first off, my Mom is expecting us for dinner in like twenty minutes when the take out gets here, and I am not going to be the one who has to explain to her why you're not sitting there eating with us. I mean did you see her face, how happy she was when she saw you? Did you see my face? What about my dad's? Now explaining it to myself, that I think I can handle and if not I'll just go upstairs and have Captain Oats explain it to me, he's good at breaking bad news. But my parents, not even Captain Oats can tackle that one buddy. I mean my God Ryan you haven't been home in damn near two years, and now you just want to take off again after spending ten minutes alone in the pool house. I don't get it, but I know that it's pretty damn selfish."
Ryan and Seth locked eyes, each staring the other down looking for answers, and waiting for the other to break. Ryan swallowed hard and crashed down on the bed, breaking the gaze, and blowing out a harsh breath as he did. "Why am I here Seth?" It was the question he'd wondered about since Anna showed up in his dorm room. "Why am I here, what is so important that Summer sent Anna after me. And why the hell couldn't one of you done it? Why was there a deal? What the hell is going on?"
"Those are all very good questions and as much as I'd love to answer those questions for you, I can't. It's just not my place man, or I would have answered them for you months ago."
Ryan knew if Seth wasn't telling him something, there had to be a very very good reason. So as confused as he was he wasn't going to press the issue. "I'm going for a walk... I might be late for dinner but I'll be back." He didn't give Seth a chance to speak, merely shoved past him.
"This is going to be a great fucking holiday," Seth moaned to himself before entering back into the kitchen.
"Hey where's Ryan?" Kirsten promptly greeted him.
"Oh I see how it is the prodigal son returns and I'm just chop suey right?"
"Seth.... Where's Ryan?"
"He went for a walk, he said he might be a bit late for dinner but he just needed to readjust to being back in Newport."
"Well I called Jimmy and Hailey to see if they wanted to come have dinner, and Marissa was there, so I invited her over too."
"You called Marissa..."
"No I called my sister..." Seth shot his mother an I know you beeter than that look. "Ok, ok so I called Marissa, is that such a bad thing?"
"Mom, they didn't exactly part on the best terms, I mean Ryan took off and left a note said see at Thanksgiving, only we didn't. And Marissa camp and locked herself in our pool house for how long? I don't know even when I left to go back to school she was still locked in there doing nothing but crying about how she'd lied to Ryan for his own good, but she felt like she'd made the worst mistake of her life..."
"Seth I know that they didn't leave things on the best circumstances, but maybe if we get them in the same room..."
"Except Ryan's got a girlfriend, a med student, Leslie, Laney, something like that..."
"Her name is Lacy." Summer piped in as she entered the kitchen from the living room. "They've been dating like over a year now, but he's sooo not in love with her. He still hasn't gotten over Marissa. Which Mrs. C, as much as I hate to admit Cohen's right, he is. It wasn't the best idea to call Marissa.... It's not going to be a pretty situation."
"See, exactly what I was saying."
Kirsten looked at the two kids and empathicly shrugged her shoulders. She was only trying to do what she thought was right. Ryan had a right to know, and no one else was going to tell him. It was a silent pact between all of them that Marissa would have to be the one to tell him. So maybe she wasn't doing what was best for Ryan but what was best for everyone else. She knew from personal experience that some secrets tear at your heart until they finally burst through. And everyone was already bleeding too much over this secret as it stood.
The walk to the pier seemed longer than Ryan remembered it. Or maybe it was just that he hadn't been there in what felt like eons. He looked out over the water, so many memories, all of them containing Marissa. Sometimes he felt like he didn't have any memories without her in them. Like if you were to ask him to name off all the kids in his third grade class, she would be in there too. Logically he knew he didn't even meet her until he was seventeen, but the heart doesn't work that way. Now he could defend himself and say that he could remember watching Seth eat paste in the first grade or that Summer was the first girl in his fifth grade class to wear perfume but it was different with Marissa. She'd been inserted in every part of his heart.
"You know what we haven't done in a while?"
The memory caused chills to rush his body. He had kissed her that day for the first time in months and he had wanted to used that kiss to take all her pain away. But it seemed like she always had pain, and he always wanted to be her white knight. He gave himself a half cocked smile, and pulled his jacket a little tighter around himself. It was colder than he remembered it be too, or maybe it was just the chills that seemed to keep rushing through his body. In the distance he could hear a band playing, 'probably coming from the Bait Shop,' he thought to himself. He listened carefully trying to make out the lyrics.
I laid there for days
And you forgot
In one night
You made me your own
In one hour
You gave me away
Now I am just a sillhoutte down there
Music was something he'd learned from Seth to appericate. He now understood how with the right tune or the right lyric you could completely lose yourself, and go back to someplace that you'd forgotten about. Another half cocked smile crossed his face, and slowly he started to let the lyrics take him to a place he'd hadn't been in a while. He remembered the first time he and Marissa had made love. And he could call it that because it truly was making love. But his memories weren't so much about the act itself, but about afterwards. She lied next to him, and for at least a couple of hours he just watched her sleep. It was the most at peace he'd ever seen her. And ever now and then he'd carefully run his fingers through her hair, and give her a slight kiss on the neck, being sure not to wake her.
There was a time when that memory put him to sleep every night, but then the time came where he forced himself to stop living in the past. Where he forced himself to move on, and forced his heart to understand that his mind was saying that they would never be again. It was about the same time he meet Lacy. Lacy, it was the first time he'd thought of her since he'd boarded the airplane to Newport. She was his second chance at happiness, his heart sank in his chest for a moment, 'God I hope a didn't screw that up' he thought to himself.
Ryan stuff his hands deep into his pockets as yet a another chill cursed his body. This time the chill was caused by the wind gusting towards him. He felt like it was forcing him to turn in the other direction, something immedatily he wished he hadn't done.
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