FicWad

Chapter One: Forget About The Dirty Looks

Disclaimer: I don’t claim rights over Gerard Way, Frank Iero or Mikey Way.
And I don’t claim rights over mentioning’s of scenes in the ‘I’m Not Okay (I Promise)’ music video. Just thought I’d mention that.

Shit, I can hear laughing. And not the ‘ha ha’ type laugh. It was a kind of evil, menacing laugh that people do when they are going to cause trouble. It reminded me of Doctor Octopus’ laugh when he knows he has Spiderman trapped; right where he wants him to perform his evil, masterminding tricks. Though they never go according to plan. Spiderman always finds a way out of it. But he would, wouldn’t he? Because he’s a superhero. And I’m not. And there is no way in hell I could escape the deathly cackles and the humiliating fate that was planned for me. Oh fuck, I just heard the word ‘loser’. That could only mean Gerard and I. Okay…calm down. Oh how the fuck can I stay calm?! Damn, the only way, even if it is subnormal, out of this is going to desperate measures. Here it goes. Dear God, please, please let them somehow be talking about someone else. Y’know…erm…I know, there could be some new freak-kid that could have joined the school! Yeah, and the kid could be so weird that he was even weirder than me…if that’s possible. But you’re God, right? Anything’s possible. So if you do this tiny but extremely important favor for me, I promise I will go to Church more with dad. And actually eat the cakes the old women bake. Oh, and I promise I won’t sing inappropriate words to the hymns ever again. If you do this for me, I will be so insanely grateful that--

My inward praying didn’t seem to persuade God in any way to give me a little credit and put aside his contempt for me for just one day. My tomato soup splattered up into my face once a sandwich had been flung at me, obviously on purpose. The aim was precisely spot on and I knew only one group of people had the ability to do that. The jocks.

I looked at Gerard sitting on the step behind me in disbelief. He slowly shook his head in pity.

''That’s the fifth time. The fifth fucking time they’ve done that this week. And it’s only Wednesday! That has to be some record.'' I sighed when I realized I had tomato stains down my white shirt. I wonder if my mom will buy the ‘I accidentally spilt it’ excuse again.

‘’Yeah, I know. They could at least come up with something more original. Or maybe their brains are so small that they only contain one small brain cell that can only come up with that one, small, pathetic idea.’’ He told me quite seriously. His theory made me chuckle.

‘’Yeah I wouldn’t be so surprised. But I wish they would just leave us the hell alone. What ever did we do to them?’’ I started wiping at my shirt with a tissue ferociously trying to get as much of the stains I could out. Gerard then randomly, and oddly, handed me a mini bottle of stain remover.

‘’Erm, thanks. And may I ask why you have a bottle of stain remover in your blazer? That’s weird, even for you.’’ Gerard and I always took the piss out of each other, but it was different to the way the kids at school did it to us. We do it in a funny way that always conveys irony. Not in an obnoxious way like them.

‘’Mikey.’’ Gerard plainly said, but it was enough. Mikey was Gerard’s younger brother who was in the year below us. He looked weird, he acted weird and he was, well, just weird. So it was an unsurprising enough explanation. Though thinking about it, why would Mikey put cleaning supplies in Gerard’s pocket? There just didn’t seem to be any logic whatsoever connected to it.

‘’Okay. I know your brother’s a weird kid but why would—‘’ Before I could complete the question, two jocks, Matt and Doug, poured the remaining contents of their lunch over Gerard and I. Well, Matt tipped his over me, and Doug tipped his over Gerard.

‘’Oh dear, you seem to have spilt your lunch. Maybe you should stop being such retards and buy yourselves a bib. Freaks.’’ Matt spat those words at us while Doug laughed like a hyena. Before we had a chance to retort in any way they both strutted off. Like the pair of chickens they are.

Gerard looked astounded, looking after them as if they had performed us a lap dance.

‘’Wow…he actually managed to string two coherent sentences together. Though I have to admit, the grammar was lacking a bit. But still, I’m impressed. Next thing you know, he’ll be able to complete his three times table.’’ He said this with a mock shocked face, which caused me to snort with laughter. You see, that’s the thing about Gerard. He doesn’t let anyone or anything get to him; he just turns it into a joke and that’s the end of it. And that’s one of the many reasons he is my best friend.


Last period passed by shockingly quickly, it has to be said. Though I put that down to my fellow fan club members, Matt, Doug, Harry and some new guy that had joined his posse, wanting my every piece of undivided attention. I never had a minute to myself. They constantly berated me with balls of paper and worn erasers, going to the extremes to get me to themselves. And seeing as Gerard had Chemistry Club last period on a Wednesday, it was me they all wanted a piece of. I fucking hated this lesson.

The second the bell rang, I was out of the door before Matt and co. could shout anymore obscenities at me that I had become immune to over the years. I walked briskly to Science block where I was due to meet Gerard.

I waited outside his classroom as I caught my breath from running. Any sort of physical activity disagreed with my body. And a large percentage of it is down to having asthma, one of the many numerous things I suffered from. Although I have to admit, even though physical activity didn’t agree with me, I actually quite enjoyed most things physical related. When I run or kick a ball around, it gives me a sense of release. Freedom. Just letting go of yourself and your emotions. It’s very exhilarating. When I was a kid and my mom and dad were together, bitching at each other about the most pointless things, I would go outside on my own and it would just be me and my ball. Looking back, I feel so sorry for that ball. By the time I was done with the ball for the night, it would be battered and bruised from the anger and rage I forced upon it. It suffered from countless punctures, but I would always find a band-aid to stick over it. I’m sure I still have it somewhere. I will have to search for it sometime and give it some T.L.C.

I checked my watch, suddenly becoming aware of how long I’d been waiting. It had been ten minutes. He’s never this late. I stared at the door while tugging at my bottom lip. Should I or shouldn’t I? That’s the question. It was like a quote I read once in some T.S Elliot novel: Do you dare eat it?. Because, to be honest, it really was a life/death situation for me. Well, okay that was a bit of an exaggeration. But it sure felt like it. I hadn’t set foot in this lab since the time I drank some dangerous chemical solution and ended up in a hospital bed for the next two weeks. Thinking about it now, it does sound incredibly stupid of me to have done it in the first place. But the thing smelt like the most delicious cherry martini you could ever think of. How was I to know it would taste like burning gasoline running down my throat and would cause me to be fatally injured? I guess the words ‘Sulphurchloric Solution’ was written on the side of the vial in bold letters…Okay, I admit it. I was a stupid idiot.

I decided to do the manly thing and go inside. No doubt would Mrs. Chambers be in there. Her being the reason this felt almost like a life/death situation. She was my teacher back then when I pulled that stunt that almost got her fired. She now hated me, obviously, but not only because I almost made her lose her job, but because she had to personally pay $1000 compensation that caused me to destroy her possibility of a fantasy wedding a month later. Apparently she ended up having to have her wedding reception at The Roebuck Inn where newlyweds go when they are tight with money or bankrupt. It’s a tacky place decorated with plastic flowers, cheap furnishings and inedible food. She has never, and will never, forgive me for that.

Once I’d stepped inside the classroom, I saw pupils clearing up the experimental apparatus, and some already taking off their aprons and grabbing their bags, making their way out, wishing Mrs. Chambers a good weekend as they walked past. Ah yes, I was right. She was here alright, giving me a cold stare that made me feel even more uncomfortable and out of place than ever. I gave her a timid smile and put my hands up to show my innocence. She didn’t seem to care for this and folded her arms across her chest and looked down her beaky nose at me. Which I guess wasn’t hard for her as virtually everyone had to look down to me. I was surprised a second later when she spoke to me, her voice the same unfriendly, monotone drawl.

‘’Mr. Iero, what a surprise to see you here. I haven’t seen you here since the time you consumed a very dangerous substance in my class, which resulted in you taking $1000 from me. And not mentioning me almost losing my job because of it. I have to say, I sympathize with whoever takes you now. Hopefully they won’t be ambushed for $1000.’’ She said the last part with accusing eyes. You see what I mean? She will never drop it. Not even if I serenade her an apology or draw it out to her in the sky from the fumes of a jet plane. And what an exaggeration! Ambushed?! It wasn’t even my freaking choice for her to pay in the first place!

‘’Yeah about that. I’m really, really sorry. Seriously, if I could go back in time and not drink that marti—er, I mean chemical solution, I would. In fact, I would do what you said and mix it with the…er, powder stuff and got that A* you wanted.’’ I put a lot of sincerity into my speech but she just sighed, shook her head, and walked back to her desk.

I breathed a sigh of relief and turned to look for Gerard, who was still finishing off his experiment and talking to a dude with a ‘fro who I had seen before playing guitar in music block a few times—Ray? Roy? I don’t know, but they were talking in nerd speak using scientific words like ‘lymphocytes’ and ‘antibodies’ and ‘pathogens’ which I didn’t quite understand. As you may have realized, I’m pretty useless at all things science related. Gerard looked up and waved for me to come over, then looked back at some cloudy substance in a glass container.

‘’Hey.’’

Gerard and ‘fro guy looked up for a second to murmur a hello and then turned back to stare intently at whatever it was in the container. After a few seconds, Gerard spoke again.

‘’Sorry for the wait but I came into lesson, like, ten minutes late trying to wash off all that crap Dumb and Dumber tipped over us at lunch. That fucker Doug had some gross cheese stuff in his lunch that got all over my blazer and shirt and trousers. It was all white and flaky so I thought I better wash it off before mom saw it and accused me of doing ‘inappropriate’ things at school.’’ He explained to me in a distracted tone, but ended it with an angry sigh. I chuckled realizing what he meant.

‘’Ah, so you don’t want your mother thinking you had sexy time when you should be making school work?’’ I joked in my best Borat voice. Guitar boy snorted and shook his head, his ‘fro bouncing in rhythm with the movement. Gerard smirked and looked up at me.

‘’Yep, you’re right Frankie. I don’t want my mom finding out about my secret Casanova image and discover I am no longer an innocent virgin. It will ruin my whole angel-boy exterior.’’ I couldn’t help but giggle once he’d said that, and neither could he. Even though he’s not a typical bad-boy who parties all the time and fucks anything that walks like most guys, he still does a few naughty little things his parents don’t know about. He smokes for one, which is a pain in the ass for him, as he has to always smoke out of the bathroom window at home and afterwards spray himself with a can of deodorant to mask the smell. He also drinks a lot of alcohol. Gerard’s parents always drive up to their grandma Elena’s on a Friday afternoon and stay round her house for the night to bring her down to Gerard’s the next day. So while they’re out, the beers are in. And, thankfully, it’s Friday today. Man, I love Friday nights.

‘’Straight up.’’ I replied with a grin. The cloudy liquid in his hand started to bubble and Gerard’s face scrunched up in concentration as he mixed it with a thermometer.

‘’How long was it Ray?’’ Gerard asked. So his name’s Ray. Ray looked at the stop clock on the desk and then looked back at Gerard.

‘’13 minutes, 56 seconds.’’ He answered in a slightly high voice. Gerard’s face relaxed as he took off his goggles.

‘’Finally. Help me clear this stuff up and then we can go.’’


The sky was a murky grey color with no trace of blue. The air had a frosty bite to it that prickled my skin and caused goose bumps to form. Mikey was standing at the gate, looking agitated and frustrated.

‘’Your bro doesn’t look to happy from when I’m standing.’’

Gerard wrapped his blazer around himself tighter and balled his fists into his armpits, shivering delicately from the breeze.

‘’I’m not surprised, it’s fucking freezing! I’m sure it shouldn’t be this cold in September. I mean, it was August only last month and that’s the hottest month of the fucking year!’’

‘’Yeah, I guess so. I don’t know, maybe it’s got to do with the ozone layer being destroyed and all that crap.’’ I suggested. Gerard then looked at me with an amused expression.

‘’Frankie…the ozone layer is a layer in the Earth’s atmosphere that protects the Earth from the Sun’s ultra violet rays. If it’s being destroyed, that would let the ultra violet rays in, wouldn’t it? Which would cause the Earth’s temperature to increase.’’ He explained smartly. Damn his intelligence.

‘’You know Gerard Way, you are way too smart for your own good.’’

He then laughed and shrugged his shoulders, ‘’I know, you don’t need to tell me.’’

I nudged him and he nudged me back. We continued doing that until we arrived at the gate where we came face-to-face with a distressed Mikey.

‘’Where the hell have you guys been?! I’ve been waiting here for twenty-fucking-minutes and not one of you bothered to even let me know where you were. You know, the whole text-messaging revolution happened for a reason. I expect an explanation, and it better be good goddammit.’’ And yes, he had his arms crossed over his chest and he was tapping his foot impatiently.

An eerie silence appeared, caused partly by the whooshing of the wind, for a moment, but it was soon broken by mine and Gerard’s laughter.

‘’Who the hell made you mom Mikey?’’ Gerard asked hysterically. This caused me to laugh harder and Mikey to become crosser.

‘’It’s not funny Gerard. I’ve been waiting for you in the blistering cold, if you haven’t realized, freezing my ass off. And just to let you know, I can’t even feel my nose anymore. If it falls off, I’m suing you both.’’ He said with a dignified stance. We both cleared our throats and managed to contain out laughter.

‘’Sorry Mikes. I was doing an experiment and it went overtime and out teacher doesn’t allow us to use our phone in class so…yeah, I’m sorry. But hey, don’t blame Frankie, it wasn’t his fault.’’

‘’Yeah, I’m completely anonymous in this. It’s all your asshole brother’s fault.’’ I said teasingly, which resulted in me getting a kick in the balls from Gerard.

‘’See?! He really is an asshole!’’


An hour later, we’re at (Gerard’s) home, and Gerard and I are downstairs in his bedroom-slash-basement, sprawled out across his bed with a beer in one hand and our hands in the bag of chips, watching Shawn of the Dead. Ah, this is the life.

Around half way through the movie, Mikey knocks on the basement door, which causes echoes to bounce off the walls of the room. We’ve already had a few beers so the sound sends painful thumping waves through our heads, causing us to groan in discomfort. Mikey took our reaction as a signal to enter.

As he made his way down the stairs, Gerard had already averted his eyes to the area where he’d come into our vision and had a look of irritation on his face ready for him. But as the room was dark, Mikey was completely oblivious to it.

‘’Hey I just came down to…OH MY GOD YOU’RE WATCHING MY FAVOURITE MOVIE!’’ Mikey squealed, which made Gerard and I wince from the pitch.

‘’Dude, shut up! You’re making my ears bleed and my brain hurt.’’ Gerard slurred and took another swig from his can.

‘’Oh sorry, but I just fucking love this film. Can I stay and watch it?’’ He asked desperately. Gerard waved his hand dismissively.

‘’Whatever, just as long as you don’t squeal or talk too loudly or do anything to cause me pain in any way.’’

‘’Got ya.’’

Mikey then sat down on the floor and grabbed a beer.

‘’So er Mikey, what did you come down for in the first place?’’ I whispered to him. He looked at me and his face lit up, as if remembering something.

‘’Oh yeah! You left your phone in the kitchen and it rang a few times so I decided to take it down to you as it’s probably important. Oh, and I think you have a text too.’’ I took the phone from him, confused and intrigued, but once I saw who it was who had rang and texted me, I felt instant panic: Bert.


Authors Note: So here’s the first proper chapter. You like? You don’t like? Let me know and I’ll continue. If not then I won’t. Simple. I’d like to say thank-you to the people that reviewed and I really do appreciate your reviews. But I’m only gonna continue if I get at least five reviews. I’m not being greedy or stuck-up or whatever word you think I’m being because I’m not. I’m only saying this because, as I’ve said before, I only want to continue with this if it’s worth it. And I’m not expecting reviews either. But if I do then that’s awesome and I’ll continue. xox.