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Chapter Two: Liar Liar Pants On Fire

The fact that my worst nightmare could have become reality just merely a few seconds ago sent me into quivering, convulsive spasms. My throat felt as though it was shrivelling up; like leaves turning crisp and brown in Autumn. Raggedy breaths escaped my lips as the sounds of me wheezing filled the room and drowned out the sounds of the TV and the rustling of the packet of chips. Mikey turned round to me, alert.

‘’Are you okay Frankie?’’

I didn’t answer. Well, to be more exact, I couldn’t answer. I just continued to struggle for breath, as if it was a big enough hint of what was wrong with me. Gerard then turned his eyes to me and suddenly became aware of what was happening. He then stood up with a jolt, suddenly sober.

‘’Oh shit, where’s his blazer?!’’ For once in my life, I thanked God for him remembering the one time I told him where’d I’d kept my inhaler in case of an asthma attack.

He then scrambled across the room manically, searching for my blazer, which contained the most life-preserving thing to me. Well, at this moment. Mikey sat in his same spot looking like a deer caught in headlights. He continued to look at me with a look of helplessness as he chewed on his fingers. I wanted to reassure him I was okay and make a joke of it and then he’d laugh and everything would be alright. But I couldn’t. And it wasn’t alright. I’d only ever had an asthma attack once in my life and that was when my grandma died. But luckily that was in a hospital and I was surrounded by people who knew what to do and how to calm me down. But right now I was with two kids who are just as freaked-out and panicky as I am. I searched my brain for things the doctors and nurses had said that are relevant and necessary to this situation. Take deep breaths and try to relax. I tried to concentrate on doing so, but all I could focus on was how long Gerard was taking to find my dammed blazer.

‘’I found it!’’ Gerard exclaimed. He ran over to my side and dug the inhaler out of my side pocket and pulled off the lid.

‘’Okay Frankie, it’s gonna be okay. Here you go just take a breath…that’s it.’’

I inhaled the cooling oxygen that soothed my lungs and throat from the burning sensation. I did what the doctor told me that one time, which was to breathe in one puff, hold it in for a few seconds, and then breathe out. I continued that procedure about five times before I felt I could breathe normally again without being accompanied by it. I took my mouth away from it, leaned my head against the wall, and took in a deep breath of the surrounding oxygen. It was silent for a few seconds before Mikey spoke.

‘’That was fucking scary. What the hell brought that on?’’

I didn’t answer Mikey’s question. All I could focus on was the images that flashed before my eyes as I suddenly remembered the whole cause of the attack. Bert. The text. The horrific closeness of my two lives colliding. There was so many ‘what ifs’ that swarmed my mind about how my life could have changed in that instant. What if Mikey had saw who had sent me that text? What if he had then decided to read it? And then confronted me about it? What if he had said it in front of Gerard? What would I have replied with? Even though I can lie about my life to people, I could never lie about my lying. I wouldn’t know what to say. Lie-building is something I wouldn’t want to be a part of because one day, the lies would build up so high on top of each other that they would one day fall down on top of you, and there’d be no one to help you from them because you’d brought all those lies on yourself. Having this one lie was enough baggage in my life as it is. I suddenly became aware of someone trying to soothe me by rubbing my back, but it just ended up feeling awkward.

‘’Frankie? Are you okay? You seem distant…which I can understand I guess. Do you want a glass of water? Be right back, I’ll just go get you one.’’ Gerard ran off to the kitchen before I had time to reply. I looked over to Mikey who was now looking at me with curiosity. This is not the time I really want to answer questions from Mikey.

‘’Are you okay?’’ I thanked God for a second time that the question didn’t refer to the text in any way. I still had this horrible niggling feeling that he knew somehow. Even though deep down I knew there was no way he could know, as the text was unread.

‘’Yeah I’m fine. As fine as you can feel after having an asthma attack anyways.’’ I joked. A small smile crossed Mikey’s lips for a millisecond, but then his face grew serious once again.

‘’Man, that was so horrible. I’ve had mild attacks after cross-country before, but nothing like that. I thought you was going to die!’’

I laughed at how dramatic he sounded, but he didn’t seem to be exaggerating. His face was ashen and his breathing shallow. It touched me that he seemed genuinely worried about me.

‘’Well, I didn’t, which is the main thing. See, I’m as right as rain!’’ I gave him an exaggerated smile and jigged up and down to prove my liveliness. His breathing grew steadier and he gave me a smile.

‘’Yeah, thank god. Honestly, you sounded like a hyena drowning. It was the most freaky sound I’ve ever heard! But it wasn’t as bad as how the whole thing looked.’’, he shuddered a little, ‘‘You looked like my granddad when he was in hospital suffering from Bronchitis. He died from that you know.’’ Mikey’s golden brown eyes were like saucers as he told me things that I really didn’t want to hear at that precise moment. I shook my head, agitated at his innocence. Or possibly ignorance.

‘’Mikey, I’m fine, okay? I didn’t die, I didn’t need to go hospital, I didn’t lose an arm or a fucking leg, I’m fine! So please just drop it.’’ I soon regretted saying those words once I saw the hurt appear across Mikey’s face. I automatically felt like the biggest asshole to ever exist.

‘’Look Mikes, I’m sorry. I just hate how having asthma has ways of trying to rule my life and making me look fucking weak. I just wish I could just act as if I don’t have it. And when people constantly go on about it, it makes me angry and…’’

‘’Embarrassed?’’

‘’Yeah exactly! You know what I mean right? You have asthma, you must find it annoying when people treat you like a fucking weakling or pick you last in games just ‘cause you have this stupid illness?’’

For a minute, Mikey looked deep in thought, but then shrugged his shoulders carelessly.

‘’Well, kinda. But I hate games anyways so I don’t really care if people pick me last.’’ Our laughter filled the room for a minute then but soon became quiet again; quieter than before. Mikey’s whispering soon descended the silence.

‘’What do you think triggered it?’’

I arched my eyebrow at the question, but soon shrugged it off and gave him a reasonably believable excuse.

‘’I don’t know exactly, but it’s pretty dusty down here. Does Gerard even dust his room? You can practically see the dust motes floating around us.’’

Mikey smirked, ‘’Sure he does. He has an Annual Dusting Day once a year.’’ I gave out a light chuckle.

‘’I can tell.’’

We heard a muffled shout from upstairs, ‘’Mikey, can you help me up here? I think I broke something.’’ Me and Mikey shared a look of confusion.

‘’How can you think you’ve broken something.’’ There was a pause.

‘’Well…yeah, I’ve broken something. But what I meant was, I think I’ve broken something…important.’’ Mikey closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingertips, and got up from the spot he had been sitting since he came down.

‘’Fine. I’m coming. And it better not be the flower-printed china or mom’s going to…’’ The rest of his threatening to Gerard became incoherent as he shut the basement door behind him. I breathed out a sigh and realised I was on my own. And it all came back to me in a sudden rush of remembrance.

I glanced at my cell next to me on the bed. I flipped it open and stared at the text until I started experiencing double vision.

Hey Frank, wots up?
Just fort I wud tell u bout this party happenin tonite.
Its beccas 16th and its gona be bangin! Her parents r out of town so its gona be fuckin crazy.
C’mon man, u have 2 come. And who knows, mayb she will give u a lil b’day surprise. Haha.
Ring me. Bert.

I winced a little from the illiteracy of his text. It really irritated me when people were too lazy to bother to spell words out properly. It just made them seem stupid and uneducated. Though Bert always referred to me as a ‘right nerd’ for spelling every word in correct English. But I never really took offence to Bert’s critical teasing, as he didn’t me. It’s just the way our friendship rolled.

I knew that I was obligated to call Bert at some point, but in my head I was fooling myself with excuses to hold off calling him. I mean, how could I do it when Gerard or Mikey could walk in on me at any minute? And more importantly, how could I call him as Frankie? It just felt morally wrong, to myself. One thing that I hate, and am most petrified of, is my two personalities lives crossing over. I’ve always successfully avoided it and it has near enough become a rule. It felt extremely wrong to break it after all this time.

I made a decision to text him instead of call him. I mean, I wasn’t really doing anything wrong. Well, I wasn’t physically communicating with him, and to me that felt like a safe enough option as there was no way I could be caught or found out or suspected.

Hey Bert, I’m good thanks. Hope you’re alright.
Sorry I’m not ringing, not enough credit.
Cheers for the heads-up on the party. Sounds sweet.
But truth is, I can’t make it. I have this badass cough that won’t seem to go away.
Seriously, I don’t think Becca would want anything to do with me tonight when I’m bringing up phlegm every five minutes.
Anyways man, you have a good time. Beers on me. Ha.
Frank.

I read the text over ten times; making sure it was how Frank would have replied. Once I came to an agreement with myself that it was passable, I clicked send and set my phone aside. I took a deep breath and waited for the brothers to come back down.

After about another ten minutes of pointless thinking, Gerard and Mikey came back down arguing.

‘’I can’t believe you fucking broke the dammed thing! Out of all the things, out of everything, you had to break moms favourite fucking china! She is going to murder you Gerard! She is going to drag you to the kitchen, tie you up, grab a butchers knife and slaughter you and serve you for dinner. And I’m not going to stop her! You are such a—‘’

‘’Idiot?’’

‘’No Gerard, you are worse than an idiot. You are a stupid, brainless, motherfucking moron!’’

Gerard stared at him with a calm and collected expression, while Mikey on the other hand was staring at him with the most livid expression I’d ever seen on his usually friendly face. It was quite humorous

‘’Why are you so worked up about it Mikey? How does me breaking mom’s possessions affect you in any way?’’

Mikey stared at Gerard as if he had asked the most stupid question in the world.

‘’Because Gee, from this happening, she may not let us stay here on our own on Friday’s. Because of this, she might start taking us up with her and dad to grandmas. Because of this, we, and yes I did say we, might not be able to have the house to ourselves. Have you ever thought how what you do can affect others too? Like me for instance? You are so fucking selfish Gerard.’’ Mikey took in a deep breath after his speech, which hadn’t seemed to move Gerard in the slightest. I managed to stifle the tickle in my throat that threatened to erupt into a giggle.

‘’All this Mikey…over a piece of china? Someone’s been watching one too many soap opera’s.’’ Once he said that, I was into fits of laughter and I couldn’t stop no matter what. My hysteria soon became contagious as Gerard, and even Mikey, started to laugh. That was until the phone rang. My phone.

All laughter stopped, and I could feel my heart rate shoot up and beads of sweat form on my forehead underneath my fringe. I self-consciously picked up my phone, which felt heavy in my hand, and checked the caller I.D. Bert. There was no way I could get out of this one and I knew I had to answer it. If not, then I would have to lie to Bert later and I couldn’t deal with any more lies.

‘’It’smomIgottatakethis.’’ I jumbled out quickly and ran up the stairs two at a time. Once I slammed the front door shut, a little too loudly, I calmed myself down, got myself into Frank mode, and accepted the call.

‘’What’s up?’’

‘’Hey party pooper.’’

‘’Bert, hey, how you doing?’’

‘Wasn’t doing bad ‘til I got a text from a certain someone turning down an invite to the best party ev-ah.’’ He’d definitely taken some pot before he called.

‘’Every party’s the ‘best party ev-ah’ to you Bert.’’ I chuckled. He giggled on the other end of the line.

‘’Yeah well, this really is the ‘best party ev-ah’ ‘cause guess who’s coming?’’

I couldn’t be bothered to play the guessing game so I didn’t bother, ‘’I don’t know, who?’’

‘’God you’re no fun. Lemme give you a clue. Well, it’s a chick, and she has long blonde hair, big tits and puts out to any and every guy when she’s had a bit to drink. Ring any bells?’’

‘’Erm, three-quarters of the female population at Timpanogos?’’ Bert let out a guffaw of laughter.

‘’Very true, but wrong. Well, she does go Timpanogos, but she’s only one of the many whores there.’’ I laughed in disbelief.

‘’Bert, how does she make it, and I quote, ‘the best party ev-ah’, if she’s merely only a whore?’’ I could hear him sucking on a cigarette, or more likely a joint, in the background.

‘’Because I need to get fucking laid. I haven’t had a fuck in two weeks. And I’m desperate.’’, he laughed his stoner laugh, ‘’And she’s just the perfect girl to do after a long break.’’ His laugh had a husky edge to it, as if he had been smoking way too much today. I joined in.

‘’Sure she is. You can’t get much better than her.’’ There was a silence.

‘’Yep.’’ It was silent again.

‘’Well, sorry I can’t come. I really wish I could but, you know, I feel really shit.’’

‘’Hmm…you don’t sound ill. And your throat isn’t all croaky or anything. Are you sure it’s that bad?’’

‘’Really, it comes and goes. Sometimes I sound alright for a minute and then my throat just suddenly feels like it’s swelled in size and feels all raw. Seriously, I’d be no fun tonight. You still have Quinn and Jepha so it’s not like you’re gonna miss my ass for long.’’

‘’Yeah, I guess I still have those boring shits. Well, I’ll drink, smoke and fuck twice as much tonight for you. See you Monday mother.’’

‘’See you fucker.’’ A beeping tone at the end of the line made it clear he had disengaged. I let out a sigh and then smiled. That’s it. I managed to get through the situation without putting either of my lives in jeopardy. I felt sort of superior in a way. I strolled back into the house and remembered it wasn’t all over. I still had to think up an excuse about why my mom would have called, in case they ask. It was getting late so I decided with the typical ‘I gotta get home’ excuse. I’d had enough drama for one day.

Gerard and Mikey were sitting on the bed playing D&D, and I suddenly thought about how long I had been gone. It must have been a while. They looked up when they saw me with a wistful expression, as if they had forgotten I was even here. This relieved me in a way. They then smiled and Gerard lifted up a character out of the box.

‘’You wanna join? Mikey’s too damn easy to compete against and I feel like a challenge.’’ Mikey poked Gerard in the arm.

‘’I would but I can’t. I gotta get back home, mom’s cooked me dinner. You have fun with your game anyways. See you tomorrow Gerard. We’re still going mall right?’’, Gerard grimaced but nodded and I laughed at his reaction, ‘’Okay then, see you tomorrow. Bye Mikey.’’ Mikey waved at me and went back to bragging about how close he was to catching up with Gerard.

‘’See you Frank. Meet you at the comic shop. Waiting anywhere else will be too creepy.’’

‘’Sure, sure. See you tomorrow.’’
I ran up the stairs, grabbed my jacket, and was out of the house. I got out my MP3 and blasted some Anti-Flag. The lyrics combined perfectly with my mood and today’s scenarios. Angry, thrashy, and full of attitude.

I found myself so lost in the lyrics that I didn’t notice a black mustang parked outside my house. It looked so familiar to me, yet I couldn’t quite figure out who it belonged to. It was right there, clear in my mind, yet it was as if something had blocked my vision, to prevent me from working out the name. It couldn’t be anyone to do with my mom as she was out at Italian club tonight with her friends, and they wouldn’t dare miss out on a time to ogle the Italian men’s ‘smooth, taut stomach’ and ‘firm buttocks’, as she occasionally describes.

And that’s when I saw him. His long, dyed black hair. His scruffy stubble. His gleaming white smile. The packet of lemon lozenges hanging from his fingertips. Oh no he didn’t. How could he? How could Bert McCracken remember that one, measly time I told him where I lived with my mom when we first met? He can hardly remember his own address! And what the hell was he thinking? It was obvious that he had been intoxicated not more than an hour ago, which would mean that it was illegal for him to drive. And he’s in fucking New Jersey? How much gas has he used? I was, for once, completely shocked and dumbfounded at what Bert had done. His smile grew wider. He stood up and walked over to where I was staring at him, too stunned to move. He gave a husky laugh similar to earlier.

‘’Surprise. You don’t look too ill, you faker. Take one of these,’’ He waggled the lozenges, ‘’ and you’ll feel fine.’’ I opened my mouth to form the question that would first pop out of my constricted brain, but was silenced by Bert.

‘’No. Questions later. Let’s get fucked up first. Quinn’s getting impatient, I can tell.’’ I glanced through the frosted car window and saw Quinn and Jepha in the backseats. Quinn looked, as Bert said, impatient, tapping his legs rhythmically, while Jepha looked straight at me and smiled his grin before waving. I waved back, hesitant from the whole surreal experience.

‘’Get in, we’re already late and we have a long drive ahead.’’

I looked at my house, and then Bert. He was staring at me eagerly and I knew then that I couldn’t let him down. He was my best friend and right now he really wanted me with him. I was flattered that he even drove down to collect me for the party, with or without consent. I got in the car and put on the seatbelt, not trusting Bert’s driving in the slightest. Bert got in and turned up Nirvana’s ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ so loud that tremors exploded throughout my body. He gave us a crazy grin and his voice sounded just as crazy;

‘’Alright! Let’s get going to the best party ev-ah.’’ The engine roared into life as we speed down the highway, slowly, but surely, leaving New Jersey behind us.

Authors Note: So I decided to continue anyways because I think I’m going to enjoy writing this story. And the encouragement from my one reviewer, IeroMyHero, persuaded me also. But if anyone reads and enjoys this, pop round to post a review. I don’t bite. Oh and I know Bert seems like a complete asshole in this chapter haha. But…just don’t automatically hate him from what little you know about him so far ‘kay? It’s just the way he seems. I really enjoyed writing his character ha. Okay I’m blabbering on now…thanks for reading. xo