Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Son of the Serpents
Chapter 7: Fin Fang Foom!
3 reviewsinbreadng, Acts of Vengance, Hellfire club, Watchdogs, Fin Fang Foom!
4Exciting
There was, of course the mandatory tear-filled reunion when the Rattler was re-united with his foster-mom. And they had moved into a new headquarters. But soon things were back to normal and she was driving him to his twice weekly lessons with the Taskmaster.
“Listen, there’s a new Captain America and while I was in stir, the feds made me teach him how to use his shield,” began the Taskmaster. “And since I’ve taught him, I might as well teach you too. I’ve divided the original’s moves into 10 separate katas. Shall we begin?”
Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling
The Serpent Society is owned by Marvel Comics.
Chapter 7: Fin Fang Foom!
Lucius Malfoy was beginning to get worried. When he’d first read the letter Walden McNair had owled to him from America, he’d chuckled at the thought of McNair trying to reverse a transfiguration that never happened on some fish. He imagined that if McNair had tried transfiguring Charles Crabbe and George Goyle’s sons out of ordinary fish, McNair might not have noticed the difference. Unlike the Malfoy men, who had always beaten their wives into submission, the Crabbes and Goyles had maintained control over their wives by marrying women who were less intelligent than themselves. As a result, each generation had gotten less intelligent than the ones before. Lucius Malfoy had never even heard of the muggle geneticist, Mendel, but he was beginning to intuit the basic principles of genetics. With as small a gene pool as the British Pure-bloods, the intelligence of the Crabbes and Goyles had declined to the point that the only way they had been able to find stupid enough wives for the past several generations, was to marry their 1st cousins. As a result, Mrs Charles Crabbe was George Goyles sister. And George had married Charles’ sister as well. The result, was the pitiful oafs who followed Lucius’ son around.
Still, after a month, there was still no word from McNair or the Carrows. Dammit! Dumbledore wasn’t playing by the rules! Lucius Malfoy decided to send a scout to track down Harry Potter. If he were responsible for the boy’s demise before the he even started at Hogwarts, his Lord would reward him richly when he returned.
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The Red Skull had just stepped out of the shower and was toweling off his blonde hair, which came with inhabiting the body of a clone of his hated enemy, Steve Rogers, (formerly Captain America) when his intercom buzzed.
“Report!” commanded the Red Skull.
“The Viper has returned,” said Machinesmith’s voice over the intercom.
Send her to my room,” commanded the Red Skull. “I’ll deal with her here.”
By the time she arrived, he’d donned his skull mask and a jumpsuit that he didn’t mind getting blood on.
SMACK!
The Red Skull punched the Viper in the face!
“You were supposed to take over the Serpent Society!” yelled the Red Skull. “Who told you to temporarily transform the population of Washington into snake-people!”
“I WAS taking over the Serpent Society before Dr. Doom showed up!” shot back the Viper, defiantly.
“NO EXCUSES!” yelled the Red Skull, as he resumed beating her.
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Mother Night laughed when her boyfriend, the Red Skull, sent her to get the Viper out of his room. But when she saw the body, she wasn’t laughing any more.
(He’s never beaten me this badly!) thought Mother Night, as she check the Viper’s pulse to see if she was even still alive.
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The Red Skull was sitting in his boardroom preparing for a meeting with his underlings when the phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Greetings, this is the REAL Victor Von Doom.”
“Doom! You’ve got a lot of nerve calling me after what you did!” growled the Red Skull.
“If you are referring to the recent incident with the Serpent Society, I assure you that I am blameless,” replied Doom. “That was a child impostor that has usurped my throne. I’m currently gathering allies to depose him, but it appears that he is doing the same. I was hoping I might persuade you to ally your forces with mine. I already have the Hulk on my side.”
“The Hulk, you say?” mused the Red Skull. “Very well, I‘ll consider your offer.”
“Interesting . . . very interesting . . . “ said a voice across the room, after the Red Skull hung up the phone.
The Red Skull gazed, in shock, at a man sitting in a chair at the other end of the table, with his back to him. The man had black hair pulled into a pony-tail and was wearing a black business suit. He turned to face the Skull.
“Who are you?” demanded the Red Skull, as he pointed a pistol at the intruder.
“That’s not important,” replied the stranger. “Call me Mr. . . .Smith. I’d like to be a part of your’s and Doom’s Acts of Vengeance. While your current scheme against your nemesis, Captain America, appears to be working, sooner or later he will figure it out. He knows you too well. Have you ever considered fighting someone you’ve never fought before?”
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The Rattler had just arrived for his twice weekly lessons with the Taskmaster, when he saw his tutor was holding a wrapped present.
“Happy Birthday, Rattler,” said the Taskmaster.
The Rattler opened the package and pulled out the garment inside.
“A cape?” asked the Rattler.
“It’s called the Shadow Cloak,” explained the Taskmaster. “When I was in the Vault, I shared a cell with a man named Eric Payne. He used to wear it when he was a hero called the Devil-Slayer. After hearing his stories of his exploits using the Shadow Cloak, I couldn’t resist nicking it from weapons lock-up during my escape. The Devil-Slayer used it as a form of teleportation. He’d step into the cloak in one place, and step out of it somewhere else. With your magical ability to teleport, I know you don’t need that. However, the Devil-Slayer could also use it to reach into the cloak and pull a weapon from somewhere else in the world. With this, you wouldn’t need to carry a bunch of weapons, you could simple reach in and pull one from anywhere in the world!”
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Diamondback arrived early to pick up her adopted son, and while he was in the shower, she pulled the Taskmaster aside.
“I was wondering if you would like to go out with me tonight?” asked Diamondback.
“Are- are you asking me on a date?” asked the Taskmaster, in surprise.
“Well- yeah, if you’d like to?” confirmed Diamondback.
“How should I dress?” asked the Taskmaster. “Formal or casual?”
“18th century formal,” replied Diamondback.
Behind his mask, the Taskmaster’s eyebrows arched up towards his hair line. There was only one nightclub in New York with such a dress code. He hadn’t expected her to be so daring on a first date.
Later that evening, Diamondback arrived wearing a long trench-coat over her clothes. Sticking out the bottom of her coat, she wore magenta pumps and fishnet stockings that matched the shade of her hair.
“Wow, you look great!” said Diamondback as she gazed for the first time upon the face of the Taskmaster. She guessed it was him because the handsome man with auburn hair and hazel eyes was dressed in 18th century formal garb.
“Please, call me Phil,” said the he reached out and kissed her hand.
“And you can call me, Rachel,” giggled Diamondback.
They only had superficial small-talk during the drive in to New York City. After, dropping the car off with a valet dressed as an 18th century servant, they walked into the Hellfire Club. The restaurant and nightclub on the 1st floor was a recent addition, though in spite of being open to the public, it still had the same dress code as the rest of the building. The 2nd floor was a private club for New York’s ultra-rich. And the 3rd floor housed the inner Circle of the Hellfire Club, a group of wealthy and super-powered individuals (mostly mutants) who plotted to gain political power. The Taskmaster had been getting more and more excited by the prospect of seeing Diamondback in the clothes that women were required to wear in the club and when she emerged from the coat room, he was not disappointed.
In addition to the high-heeled pumps and fishnet stockings, she also had a very tiny string bikini panty and an open front laced corset from which hung the garters that held up her stockings. The entire outfit matched the magenta shade of her hair.
Diamondback blushed at the smoldering look that he was giving her. It had been Black Mamba and the Asp that had suggested this club as a place for a first date and they had picked out the outfit and talked her into actually wearing it! The opening that was laced up the front was so wide, that she kept thinking, that the inner edge of her areolas were showing. But Black Mamba swore that was just her imagination. Glancing down, Diamondback could see that his body approved of her as much as his eyes did.
The Taskmaster offered her an arm and escorted her to a table. Once they’d ordered a meal and were sipping their drinks, Diamondback put her foot in her mouth.
“So Phil, this ‘photographic reflexes’ power of yours, it works with any physical ability you see, doesn’t it, not just heroes?”
The Taskmaster nodded.
“So you can also imitate the feats of contortionists and porn-stars?” asked Diamondback before covering her mouth in embarrassment.
“Is that why you asked me out?” queried the Taskmaster.
“No, actually it was because of how well you get along with the Rattler,” squeaked Daimondback, as her face turned red with embarrassment. “My son needs a father.”
The Taskmaster was taken aback by this! He hadn’t expected this when she asked him out!
“I wasn’t expecting this, but yeah, like the Rattler a lot and would be proud to have him as a step-son!” said the Taskmaster. “And to answer your first question, yes my power does work with contortionists and porn-stars, and I hope this date will go well enough for me to show you just how many of them I’ve watched.”
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After pulling into the drive way of an ordinary-looking house on a steep hill, the Taskmaster activated the garage door opener. When the door raised it led not to an ordinary suburban 2 car garage, but instead to the entrance tunnel of a large underground parking facility. The Taskmaster had just parked his car when the Rattler came bounding into the room. The kid had easily except the new relationship between his foster mother and his tutor. He never disturbed them during the night when the Taskmaster slept over. And went out of his way to give the two of them time together. The Taskmaster smiled at the thought. He had been blown away by their first date, which had put their courtship on a fast track. Seeing Diamondback dressed like Madonna (like all the other women in the Hellfire club) had been a pleasant shock. Her normal costume covered everything below the neck. (a practical costume for New York winter) But considering who she was getting date advice form, he shouldn’t have been too surprised. After all Black Mamba’s (former call-girl) neckline plunged almost to her navel and her he pants had no legs. The Asp (former exotic dancer) went into battle wearing only short shorts and a sports bra. With these two goading her on, Diamondback had taken him to the Hellfire club when she could dance with dance with him wearing nearly nothing, before returning to his place for the night.
“Hi Larry,” said the Taskmaster, as he gave his favorite student a hug.
Diamondback had gone away on a job two weeks ago and not returned. The Taskmaster was still visiting as often as he had when he was dating Diamondback. Seeing Larry twice a week for lessons was not enough. Besides, he felt an obligation to help the Serpents take care of him while his mother was absent.
“Hi Taskmaster,” said Bushmaster, as he came through the doorway.
“Any luck finding your elves?” asked the Taskmaster.
Ever since they’d moved into their new headquarters, things kept getting mysteriously repaired. The more complex the machine was, the more likely it was to be fixed by the ‘elves’. Bushmaster had tried staking out broken machinery with surveillance cameras, but there would always be a pause in the tape during the time the repairs were made.
“No,” replied Bushmaster. “I’m starting to wonder if Factor 3 left nanites behind when they moved out. Some sort of automatic repair device? Whatever the ‘elves’ are they don’t appear to be hostile.”
Just then, someone hostile did appear, or rather, five someones . . .Five men in black robes and skull masks appeared with a:
POP!
“It’s the skulleons!” yelled the Rattler as he rolled away from the Taskmaster and pulled Electra’s sais from his Shadow Cloak.
The Taskmaster slipped his steel copy of Captain America’s shield off his back and threw it. It bounced off two of the Death Eaters, stunning them, before returning the Taskmaster’s hand.
“Akada Kedavra!” yelled the Death Eater, Thorfinn Rowle, as he pointed his wand at the Taskmaster.
The spell shattered the shield but left the Taskmaster otherwise unharmed.
The Rattler reached up and stabbed the Death Eater, Gelert Gibbon in the solar plexus. Due to the angle offered by his height, the Rattler’s sai poked upward through the pancreas, diaphragm, lower left lobe of the lung and nicked the heart. Withdrawing his sai, the Rattler spun, with a:
POP!
And apparated behind the Death eater, before sticking each of the sais through one of the Death Eater’s kidneys.
Bushmaster sprung forward and slammed his massive tail against the Death Eater Alvin Avery’s throat, breaking his neck.
The Taskmaster had drawn his broadsword (a modern copy of the shape of the Black Knght’s Ebony Blade) And beheaded the Death Eater who had destroyed his shield.
Bushmaster dispatched one of the fallen Death Eaters, Jerramy Jugson, when he spotted that the other fallen had raised his wand and was pointing at the Rattler’s back.
BOOM!
An explosive throwing diamond flew through the air into the eye hole and lodged in the brain of the Death Eater, Stan Selwynn, before exploding in a big splatter!
“Hi guys! Miss me?” asked Diamondback, who had throw the explosive diamond.
“Mom!” squealed the Rattler, as he sprang into his foster mother’s arms.
The Taskmaster let them share a hug before pulling her into a passionate kiss.
“Wow! (pant) missed you too!” gasped Diamondback, once her lover had let her up for air.
“So, where have you been, Rachel?” asked Bushmaster.
“Well, in Ecuador, I ran into Baron Zemo and Bratroc’s brigade,” began Diamondback with each of her arms around one of the boys she loved. “They were on some sort of treasure hunt so I started stalkng them. Turns out the Captain, that’s what the real Captain America calls himself now was following them too. As it turned out, they were looking for a really big magic ruby called the Bloodstone. They tried to use it to resurrect Zemo’s father, but it got destroyed, instead. On the way back, I got kidnapped by a guy called Crossbones. He wore a skull mask and had crossed bones on his chest. Anyway, he somehow got the crazy idea that I was the Captain’s girlfriend, As If! He tried to use me as bait for a trap to get the Captain, but instead, I escaped and came home. So . . . looks like the Red Skulls flunkies had attacked you too.”
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Not wanting to get more involved in their feud with the Red Skull, the Taskmaster took his leave, after he and Diamond back had imitated some of the ultra-endurance feats of porn stars.
Once the full Serpent Society was assembled, Sidewinder, asked:
“Now I don’t want to be accused of ignoring our bottom line again. Do you ll want to hit the Red Skull back?”
“Of course we do!” replied Anaconda. “Just tell us what you’ve dug up on him.”
“Well, ever heard of the Watchdogs?” asked Sidewinder.
“They’re a racist group, sort of like the Klu Klux Klan, accept their focus is on immigrants,” answered the Cobra.
“Well although they pretend to be a grass-roots organization, their funding actually comes from the Red Skull,” pointed out Sidewinder. “There was a recent incident involving them in Custer’s Grove, Georgia. So I thought if Diamondback, Black Mamba and the Asp went around in public there, pretending to be a lesbian, interracial triad, they would make perfect bait for us to take down a cell of them.”
The Watchdog rank-and-file, were just ordinary people. It was extremely easy for a band of professional criminals, like the Serpent Society, to take down a Watchdogs cell.
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“Albus! Albus! He’s alive!” shouted Professor Minerva McGonagall, waving a letter.
“Who’s alive?” asked Headmaster Albus Dumbledore.
“HARRY POTTER!” screamed McGonagall, still waving the letter. “I was preparing to send out the letters for the 1st years and looking for any muggleborns who might need to be contacted when I found this!”
“Let me see that!” demanded Dumbledore, snatching the letter from her hands. When he saw the address, he sank back in his seat. “America! Why didn’t I think to look before? When I saw what was left of his aunt and cousin, I was so sure that a Death Eater had done it . . . that Harry couldn’t possibly be alive! Is this why so many purebloods had disappeared over the last 5 years? . . .Why Lucius glares at me every time I run into him? . . . We’ll send Hagrid to contact him.”
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It was a hot summer day. . . . the Rattler was enjoying a nice day at the beach with his foster mother, Diamondback, her lover, the Taskmaster, Sidewider and his lover, Black Mamba, the Asp and her new girlfriend, Impala. The adults were all too absorbed in each other to pay much attention to the kid. So he was walking along the edge of the water looking for shells. Suddenly a massive shadow blotted out the sun. The rattler looked up . . . and up . . . and up! Wading out of the water on its’ hind legs was a 70 foot dragon.
“~Greetings young snake,~” hissed the dragon.
“~Uh- Hello Mr. Dragon sir?~” hissed back the Rattler, before noticing that no one else was panicking. “~You’re not going to eat me, are you?~”
“~Goodness, No! I just wanted to talk to you!~” hissed the dragon.
“~Uh- Okay- How come no one else can see you?~” hissed the Rattler.
“~Muggles can’t see me unless I allow it,~” hissed the dragon, in reply.
“~So what did you want to talk about?~” hissed the Rattler.
“~Well it’s come to my attention that my father has join a Leigion of Doom that has allied against you and your friends,~” hissed the Dragon “~So I thought I would let you know that I’ll be there on your side in the final battle. Believe me, I too, know what it’s like to have a prophesy hanging over your head.~”
“~What prophesy?~” hissed the Rattler.
“~That would be telling . . . ~” hissed the dragon, with a grin before turning to wade back into the sea.
“~Wait! What’s your name?~” hissed the Rattler.
“~Well, in this form, I go by the alias: Fin Fang Foom,~” hissed the dragon.
The Rattler giggled.
“~I know, I know, it’s a silly name!~” hissed the dragon. “~My true name is Jőmungandr.~”
Just before the dragon’s head disappeared beneath the waves, the Rattler had a brief shift in perception, where he thought he saw a gigantic serpent! Bigger than the worms in the Dune movie! Its’ body was so big around that t was taller that the empire state building!
“Listen, there’s a new Captain America and while I was in stir, the feds made me teach him how to use his shield,” began the Taskmaster. “And since I’ve taught him, I might as well teach you too. I’ve divided the original’s moves into 10 separate katas. Shall we begin?”
Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling
The Serpent Society is owned by Marvel Comics.
Chapter 7: Fin Fang Foom!
Lucius Malfoy was beginning to get worried. When he’d first read the letter Walden McNair had owled to him from America, he’d chuckled at the thought of McNair trying to reverse a transfiguration that never happened on some fish. He imagined that if McNair had tried transfiguring Charles Crabbe and George Goyle’s sons out of ordinary fish, McNair might not have noticed the difference. Unlike the Malfoy men, who had always beaten their wives into submission, the Crabbes and Goyles had maintained control over their wives by marrying women who were less intelligent than themselves. As a result, each generation had gotten less intelligent than the ones before. Lucius Malfoy had never even heard of the muggle geneticist, Mendel, but he was beginning to intuit the basic principles of genetics. With as small a gene pool as the British Pure-bloods, the intelligence of the Crabbes and Goyles had declined to the point that the only way they had been able to find stupid enough wives for the past several generations, was to marry their 1st cousins. As a result, Mrs Charles Crabbe was George Goyles sister. And George had married Charles’ sister as well. The result, was the pitiful oafs who followed Lucius’ son around.
Still, after a month, there was still no word from McNair or the Carrows. Dammit! Dumbledore wasn’t playing by the rules! Lucius Malfoy decided to send a scout to track down Harry Potter. If he were responsible for the boy’s demise before the he even started at Hogwarts, his Lord would reward him richly when he returned.
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The Red Skull had just stepped out of the shower and was toweling off his blonde hair, which came with inhabiting the body of a clone of his hated enemy, Steve Rogers, (formerly Captain America) when his intercom buzzed.
“Report!” commanded the Red Skull.
“The Viper has returned,” said Machinesmith’s voice over the intercom.
Send her to my room,” commanded the Red Skull. “I’ll deal with her here.”
By the time she arrived, he’d donned his skull mask and a jumpsuit that he didn’t mind getting blood on.
SMACK!
The Red Skull punched the Viper in the face!
“You were supposed to take over the Serpent Society!” yelled the Red Skull. “Who told you to temporarily transform the population of Washington into snake-people!”
“I WAS taking over the Serpent Society before Dr. Doom showed up!” shot back the Viper, defiantly.
“NO EXCUSES!” yelled the Red Skull, as he resumed beating her.
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Mother Night laughed when her boyfriend, the Red Skull, sent her to get the Viper out of his room. But when she saw the body, she wasn’t laughing any more.
(He’s never beaten me this badly!) thought Mother Night, as she check the Viper’s pulse to see if she was even still alive.
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The Red Skull was sitting in his boardroom preparing for a meeting with his underlings when the phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Greetings, this is the REAL Victor Von Doom.”
“Doom! You’ve got a lot of nerve calling me after what you did!” growled the Red Skull.
“If you are referring to the recent incident with the Serpent Society, I assure you that I am blameless,” replied Doom. “That was a child impostor that has usurped my throne. I’m currently gathering allies to depose him, but it appears that he is doing the same. I was hoping I might persuade you to ally your forces with mine. I already have the Hulk on my side.”
“The Hulk, you say?” mused the Red Skull. “Very well, I‘ll consider your offer.”
“Interesting . . . very interesting . . . “ said a voice across the room, after the Red Skull hung up the phone.
The Red Skull gazed, in shock, at a man sitting in a chair at the other end of the table, with his back to him. The man had black hair pulled into a pony-tail and was wearing a black business suit. He turned to face the Skull.
“Who are you?” demanded the Red Skull, as he pointed a pistol at the intruder.
“That’s not important,” replied the stranger. “Call me Mr. . . .Smith. I’d like to be a part of your’s and Doom’s Acts of Vengeance. While your current scheme against your nemesis, Captain America, appears to be working, sooner or later he will figure it out. He knows you too well. Have you ever considered fighting someone you’ve never fought before?”
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The Rattler had just arrived for his twice weekly lessons with the Taskmaster, when he saw his tutor was holding a wrapped present.
“Happy Birthday, Rattler,” said the Taskmaster.
The Rattler opened the package and pulled out the garment inside.
“A cape?” asked the Rattler.
“It’s called the Shadow Cloak,” explained the Taskmaster. “When I was in the Vault, I shared a cell with a man named Eric Payne. He used to wear it when he was a hero called the Devil-Slayer. After hearing his stories of his exploits using the Shadow Cloak, I couldn’t resist nicking it from weapons lock-up during my escape. The Devil-Slayer used it as a form of teleportation. He’d step into the cloak in one place, and step out of it somewhere else. With your magical ability to teleport, I know you don’t need that. However, the Devil-Slayer could also use it to reach into the cloak and pull a weapon from somewhere else in the world. With this, you wouldn’t need to carry a bunch of weapons, you could simple reach in and pull one from anywhere in the world!”
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Diamondback arrived early to pick up her adopted son, and while he was in the shower, she pulled the Taskmaster aside.
“I was wondering if you would like to go out with me tonight?” asked Diamondback.
“Are- are you asking me on a date?” asked the Taskmaster, in surprise.
“Well- yeah, if you’d like to?” confirmed Diamondback.
“How should I dress?” asked the Taskmaster. “Formal or casual?”
“18th century formal,” replied Diamondback.
Behind his mask, the Taskmaster’s eyebrows arched up towards his hair line. There was only one nightclub in New York with such a dress code. He hadn’t expected her to be so daring on a first date.
Later that evening, Diamondback arrived wearing a long trench-coat over her clothes. Sticking out the bottom of her coat, she wore magenta pumps and fishnet stockings that matched the shade of her hair.
“Wow, you look great!” said Diamondback as she gazed for the first time upon the face of the Taskmaster. She guessed it was him because the handsome man with auburn hair and hazel eyes was dressed in 18th century formal garb.
“Please, call me Phil,” said the he reached out and kissed her hand.
“And you can call me, Rachel,” giggled Diamondback.
They only had superficial small-talk during the drive in to New York City. After, dropping the car off with a valet dressed as an 18th century servant, they walked into the Hellfire Club. The restaurant and nightclub on the 1st floor was a recent addition, though in spite of being open to the public, it still had the same dress code as the rest of the building. The 2nd floor was a private club for New York’s ultra-rich. And the 3rd floor housed the inner Circle of the Hellfire Club, a group of wealthy and super-powered individuals (mostly mutants) who plotted to gain political power. The Taskmaster had been getting more and more excited by the prospect of seeing Diamondback in the clothes that women were required to wear in the club and when she emerged from the coat room, he was not disappointed.
In addition to the high-heeled pumps and fishnet stockings, she also had a very tiny string bikini panty and an open front laced corset from which hung the garters that held up her stockings. The entire outfit matched the magenta shade of her hair.
Diamondback blushed at the smoldering look that he was giving her. It had been Black Mamba and the Asp that had suggested this club as a place for a first date and they had picked out the outfit and talked her into actually wearing it! The opening that was laced up the front was so wide, that she kept thinking, that the inner edge of her areolas were showing. But Black Mamba swore that was just her imagination. Glancing down, Diamondback could see that his body approved of her as much as his eyes did.
The Taskmaster offered her an arm and escorted her to a table. Once they’d ordered a meal and were sipping their drinks, Diamondback put her foot in her mouth.
“So Phil, this ‘photographic reflexes’ power of yours, it works with any physical ability you see, doesn’t it, not just heroes?”
The Taskmaster nodded.
“So you can also imitate the feats of contortionists and porn-stars?” asked Diamondback before covering her mouth in embarrassment.
“Is that why you asked me out?” queried the Taskmaster.
“No, actually it was because of how well you get along with the Rattler,” squeaked Daimondback, as her face turned red with embarrassment. “My son needs a father.”
The Taskmaster was taken aback by this! He hadn’t expected this when she asked him out!
“I wasn’t expecting this, but yeah, like the Rattler a lot and would be proud to have him as a step-son!” said the Taskmaster. “And to answer your first question, yes my power does work with contortionists and porn-stars, and I hope this date will go well enough for me to show you just how many of them I’ve watched.”
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After pulling into the drive way of an ordinary-looking house on a steep hill, the Taskmaster activated the garage door opener. When the door raised it led not to an ordinary suburban 2 car garage, but instead to the entrance tunnel of a large underground parking facility. The Taskmaster had just parked his car when the Rattler came bounding into the room. The kid had easily except the new relationship between his foster mother and his tutor. He never disturbed them during the night when the Taskmaster slept over. And went out of his way to give the two of them time together. The Taskmaster smiled at the thought. He had been blown away by their first date, which had put their courtship on a fast track. Seeing Diamondback dressed like Madonna (like all the other women in the Hellfire club) had been a pleasant shock. Her normal costume covered everything below the neck. (a practical costume for New York winter) But considering who she was getting date advice form, he shouldn’t have been too surprised. After all Black Mamba’s (former call-girl) neckline plunged almost to her navel and her he pants had no legs. The Asp (former exotic dancer) went into battle wearing only short shorts and a sports bra. With these two goading her on, Diamondback had taken him to the Hellfire club when she could dance with dance with him wearing nearly nothing, before returning to his place for the night.
“Hi Larry,” said the Taskmaster, as he gave his favorite student a hug.
Diamondback had gone away on a job two weeks ago and not returned. The Taskmaster was still visiting as often as he had when he was dating Diamondback. Seeing Larry twice a week for lessons was not enough. Besides, he felt an obligation to help the Serpents take care of him while his mother was absent.
“Hi Taskmaster,” said Bushmaster, as he came through the doorway.
“Any luck finding your elves?” asked the Taskmaster.
Ever since they’d moved into their new headquarters, things kept getting mysteriously repaired. The more complex the machine was, the more likely it was to be fixed by the ‘elves’. Bushmaster had tried staking out broken machinery with surveillance cameras, but there would always be a pause in the tape during the time the repairs were made.
“No,” replied Bushmaster. “I’m starting to wonder if Factor 3 left nanites behind when they moved out. Some sort of automatic repair device? Whatever the ‘elves’ are they don’t appear to be hostile.”
Just then, someone hostile did appear, or rather, five someones . . .Five men in black robes and skull masks appeared with a:
POP!
“It’s the skulleons!” yelled the Rattler as he rolled away from the Taskmaster and pulled Electra’s sais from his Shadow Cloak.
The Taskmaster slipped his steel copy of Captain America’s shield off his back and threw it. It bounced off two of the Death Eaters, stunning them, before returning the Taskmaster’s hand.
“Akada Kedavra!” yelled the Death Eater, Thorfinn Rowle, as he pointed his wand at the Taskmaster.
The spell shattered the shield but left the Taskmaster otherwise unharmed.
The Rattler reached up and stabbed the Death Eater, Gelert Gibbon in the solar plexus. Due to the angle offered by his height, the Rattler’s sai poked upward through the pancreas, diaphragm, lower left lobe of the lung and nicked the heart. Withdrawing his sai, the Rattler spun, with a:
POP!
And apparated behind the Death eater, before sticking each of the sais through one of the Death Eater’s kidneys.
Bushmaster sprung forward and slammed his massive tail against the Death Eater Alvin Avery’s throat, breaking his neck.
The Taskmaster had drawn his broadsword (a modern copy of the shape of the Black Knght’s Ebony Blade) And beheaded the Death Eater who had destroyed his shield.
Bushmaster dispatched one of the fallen Death Eaters, Jerramy Jugson, when he spotted that the other fallen had raised his wand and was pointing at the Rattler’s back.
BOOM!
An explosive throwing diamond flew through the air into the eye hole and lodged in the brain of the Death Eater, Stan Selwynn, before exploding in a big splatter!
“Hi guys! Miss me?” asked Diamondback, who had throw the explosive diamond.
“Mom!” squealed the Rattler, as he sprang into his foster mother’s arms.
The Taskmaster let them share a hug before pulling her into a passionate kiss.
“Wow! (pant) missed you too!” gasped Diamondback, once her lover had let her up for air.
“So, where have you been, Rachel?” asked Bushmaster.
“Well, in Ecuador, I ran into Baron Zemo and Bratroc’s brigade,” began Diamondback with each of her arms around one of the boys she loved. “They were on some sort of treasure hunt so I started stalkng them. Turns out the Captain, that’s what the real Captain America calls himself now was following them too. As it turned out, they were looking for a really big magic ruby called the Bloodstone. They tried to use it to resurrect Zemo’s father, but it got destroyed, instead. On the way back, I got kidnapped by a guy called Crossbones. He wore a skull mask and had crossed bones on his chest. Anyway, he somehow got the crazy idea that I was the Captain’s girlfriend, As If! He tried to use me as bait for a trap to get the Captain, but instead, I escaped and came home. So . . . looks like the Red Skulls flunkies had attacked you too.”
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Not wanting to get more involved in their feud with the Red Skull, the Taskmaster took his leave, after he and Diamond back had imitated some of the ultra-endurance feats of porn stars.
Once the full Serpent Society was assembled, Sidewinder, asked:
“Now I don’t want to be accused of ignoring our bottom line again. Do you ll want to hit the Red Skull back?”
“Of course we do!” replied Anaconda. “Just tell us what you’ve dug up on him.”
“Well, ever heard of the Watchdogs?” asked Sidewinder.
“They’re a racist group, sort of like the Klu Klux Klan, accept their focus is on immigrants,” answered the Cobra.
“Well although they pretend to be a grass-roots organization, their funding actually comes from the Red Skull,” pointed out Sidewinder. “There was a recent incident involving them in Custer’s Grove, Georgia. So I thought if Diamondback, Black Mamba and the Asp went around in public there, pretending to be a lesbian, interracial triad, they would make perfect bait for us to take down a cell of them.”
The Watchdog rank-and-file, were just ordinary people. It was extremely easy for a band of professional criminals, like the Serpent Society, to take down a Watchdogs cell.
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“Albus! Albus! He’s alive!” shouted Professor Minerva McGonagall, waving a letter.
“Who’s alive?” asked Headmaster Albus Dumbledore.
“HARRY POTTER!” screamed McGonagall, still waving the letter. “I was preparing to send out the letters for the 1st years and looking for any muggleborns who might need to be contacted when I found this!”
“Let me see that!” demanded Dumbledore, snatching the letter from her hands. When he saw the address, he sank back in his seat. “America! Why didn’t I think to look before? When I saw what was left of his aunt and cousin, I was so sure that a Death Eater had done it . . . that Harry couldn’t possibly be alive! Is this why so many purebloods had disappeared over the last 5 years? . . .Why Lucius glares at me every time I run into him? . . . We’ll send Hagrid to contact him.”
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It was a hot summer day. . . . the Rattler was enjoying a nice day at the beach with his foster mother, Diamondback, her lover, the Taskmaster, Sidewider and his lover, Black Mamba, the Asp and her new girlfriend, Impala. The adults were all too absorbed in each other to pay much attention to the kid. So he was walking along the edge of the water looking for shells. Suddenly a massive shadow blotted out the sun. The rattler looked up . . . and up . . . and up! Wading out of the water on its’ hind legs was a 70 foot dragon.
“~Greetings young snake,~” hissed the dragon.
“~Uh- Hello Mr. Dragon sir?~” hissed back the Rattler, before noticing that no one else was panicking. “~You’re not going to eat me, are you?~”
“~Goodness, No! I just wanted to talk to you!~” hissed the dragon.
“~Uh- Okay- How come no one else can see you?~” hissed the Rattler.
“~Muggles can’t see me unless I allow it,~” hissed the dragon, in reply.
“~So what did you want to talk about?~” hissed the Rattler.
“~Well it’s come to my attention that my father has join a Leigion of Doom that has allied against you and your friends,~” hissed the Dragon “~So I thought I would let you know that I’ll be there on your side in the final battle. Believe me, I too, know what it’s like to have a prophesy hanging over your head.~”
“~What prophesy?~” hissed the Rattler.
“~That would be telling . . . ~” hissed the dragon, with a grin before turning to wade back into the sea.
“~Wait! What’s your name?~” hissed the Rattler.
“~Well, in this form, I go by the alias: Fin Fang Foom,~” hissed the dragon.
The Rattler giggled.
“~I know, I know, it’s a silly name!~” hissed the dragon. “~My true name is Jőmungandr.~”
Just before the dragon’s head disappeared beneath the waves, the Rattler had a brief shift in perception, where he thought he saw a gigantic serpent! Bigger than the worms in the Dune movie! Its’ body was so big around that t was taller that the empire state building!
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