FicWad

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, don't own the basic plot and quotes you recognise from Californication.

WARNINGS: This story is based on the television series "Californication", if you didn't like it or were offended by it, please do not read. I have changed a lot of the plot to suit my own wicked ways but it still includes a lot of swearing, alcohol and drug use, sex in every shape and form and some volgarity. Please do not read if this offends.


Chapter Six - God you piss me off sometimes!


"Frank, I am not fucking drinking that," Mikey protested as he eyed the concoction that Frank had just created with a sickly look.

"Come on, don't be such a fucking wimp. Do it!”

Frank swirled the nasty brown coloured liquid around in its glass; he was quite proud of this one.

Reaching out, looking quite pale, Mikey took the glass off Frank and sniffed it cautiously. His whole body shuddered at the horrible smell.

"No fucking way!" he said, placing the glass on the table and pushing it back towards Frank.

Sugar, tomato sauce, salt, chopped up lettuce and a small piece of chicken all bounced around on the bottom of the glass as the drink was stirred.

"It's just coke, sprite and coffee surprise Mikey, you'll love it," Frank continued, determined to get his friend to at least take a sip.

"Fuck off!"

Laughing, Frank slid the offending glass up the other end of the table and rested his elbows in its spot instead. The laughter died away and he struggled to remember what exactly he had been meaning to ask Mikey at this little lunch of theirs.

"Hey Mikes, did Gerard ever speak to you about why we broke up?" he dared to ask.

Mikey had never been keen on the whole conversation of Frank and Gerard's relationship or break-up, for that matter. But lately, he had been getting better, saying odd things here and there that could almost be brushed aside as nothing.

Sighing, Mikey just stared at his empty plate for a few moments.

"Yes," he said simply, still looking at his plate.

Frank kept staring at Mikey, secretly urging him to continue. When he didn't seem to get the telepathic message that was being sent to him, Frank spoke up. "And...?"

"Come on man, do you really want to go there?" Mikey asked, finally looking up and raising his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Yes, I really do. I want to improve Mikes; I want to make an effort this time. The only way I can do that is if I knew where I went wrong last time."

"Why can't you just ask Jamia?" he shot back, trying to find a way out of talking about his brother.

"Because I know where I went wrong with her stupid. I slept with Gerard, it was pretty clear what the outcome was going to be," Frank announced, rolling his eyes as though it was all rather simple.

"And you seriously can't figure out, after all this time, where you went wrong with my brother?" Mikey just stared at Frank in amazement.

"Well, yeah, but I guess I just wanted to know for sure. I mean, with Gee, I was never there, but I'm there with Max and somehow I feel like I'm still doing something wrong," Frank admitted, leaning back into his seat, slouching slightly.

Mikey sighed again, this one much heavier. It was as though Frank had worn him out because he finally opened his mouth to speak.

"You guys just didn't have it Frank. From what I could tell, you two were the straightest gay couple I'll ever know."

"What does that mean exactly?" Frank pushed him, picking up his discarded knife and scraping it against his plate.

"I dunno, Gee just said you guys never did anything. When you'd finally come back from being away for god knows how long, you's would just hang around the house and do ... stuff," Mikey decided on saying. Clearly the thought of what "stuff" meant to Gerard and Frank bugged him. After all, not everyone wants to hear about their siblings’ sex life.

"There was never any time to go out, I'd be back for a day or so and then I'd have to go away again."

"Exactly Frank! If you love someone, you're supposed to make time for them. You didn't. You only made time for yourself. When you got back from touring, it was your time, not Gerard’s. You'd only do what you wanted to do." Mikey spoke softly, but it was clear that a big part of him agreed a hundred percent with Gerard. Frank had been a bad fucking boy friend.

Frank didn't bother defending himself this time; he already knew it was true. Fact of the matter was, for the three years that Gerard and Frank were together, they never really went out. They never went on a holiday together, they never went to any functions together once the band broke up and they certainly never went out to dinner unless it involved loud music and veggie burgers.

"Mikes ... did you really hate me and Gerard being together that much?" Frank asked. He wasn't even sure why, but at that moment, it just popped out of his mouth.

Lately, he had been trying to mend a lot of the mistakes he had made in the past. Yet, he was quickly discovering that some mistakes didn't need to be mended, just by asking a simple question and listening, he could find out that not everything was his fault after all. The question he asked Mikey was something that had bothered him for a long time.

"I didn't hate it Frank, I was just - I dunno, a little confused. My whole life I just wanted my brother and me to be fucking happy. We were finally there, everything was perfect. He had a kid and a wife; it was all he ever wanted. Me, well I had a wife, it was all I ever wanted, we were doing so well -"

"Until I came along and fucked it all up," Frank filled in for him, already getting a grasp on the direction the story was headed in.

"No, he fucked it up. Sure, I'm not denying you were a part of that, but ultimately, he knew what he had and he still continued to see you on the side until it all just fell apart. I got so mad at him, it was almost as though he was trying to ruin everything, it was as though he liked being unhappy, I just wanted what was best for him and I wasn't sure if you were it," Mikey finished, hanging his head in shame.

But his words didn't hurt Frank; they barely bothered him at all. Of course he wasn't good for Gerard, that had already been made clear, Mikey had been right in thinking as much. The silence that fell between them wasn't awkward, it merely felt like each of them were inside their own heads, thinking hard.

"B-but ... for the most part Frank, whilst I may have thought you weren't best for him, for those first two years you two were together - fuck, man was he happy," Mikey continued, making eye contact again. "Definitely the happiest I had ever seen him. Unfortunately, you just weren't ready Frank."

There was no more arguing with him, Mikey had said it all. Frank knew what had happened and now he had confirmation.

When they eventually said their goodbyes and parted ways, Frank dialed Max's number. It was a Friday afternoon so he knew he would still be at work, but unless he was in the courtroom, Max always picked up.

"Hey Frank, how was your lunch?" Max's voice asked through the speaker of Frank's phone.

"Productive ... I think. Listen, you want to go somewhere tomorrow night?"

There was a pause, then a soft laugh from the other end of the phone.

"Somewhere as in another one of your gigs?"

Frank cringed slightly at that comment. The truth was, he was pulling the same shit he had with Gerard all over again with his new relationship. 'Pledge for the broken' wasn't demanding too much of his time, they mainly only played shows late at night. Still, when Max worked all day and Frank worked all night, the only way they could really catch up was if they had dinner and drinks before one of his shows.

"No, I mean somewhere fancy," Frank said as he found his car, unlocked it and got in.

"Fancy? Okay, you've got my attention, where are we going?"

"Well, the bands record label is having a big charity event tomorrow night. It's a big ball type thing, not really my scene so I wasn't going to go. But, I was thinking, if you came to, maybe it wouldn't be so bad..."

Frank paused, waiting to hear some sort of reaction from the man on the other end of the phone. It was a while before he heard Max breathing into the speaker.

"Frank ... I'd love to go. It sounds great."

A relieved smile spread across Frank's face at Max's reaction. As much as he hated label company parties that weren't full of loud music and beer, it was about time he started to think about other people for a change.

"Cool. Well, I'll see you tonight. Bye."

"See ya Frank."

With that the line went dead and Frank put his phone away.

Sitting in his car in silence for a few moments, he took a deep breath and started it up. Once again there was this overwhelming sense of fulfillment about him that he hadn't felt in a while.

He knew there was just one stop he wanted to make before he made his usual Friday trip out to Gerard's place. Just to see Jack, of course.

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Gerard flicked through the magazine full of wedding dresses that Lindsey had left for him to look at. It didn't interest him one bit.

The first time they had gotten married it had been a quick, non-formal event back stage after a show. It was perfect. No fuss, no hassle, just the way he wanted his wedding to be. With Frank, there had been no pressure of marriage at all. Now, even though it was his and Lindsey's second time, it felt like fucking torture.

She wanted it to be a big event, that way it would feel more right this time. Gerard did not want it to be a big event; he just wanted to do it pure and simple, just like last time.

It was strange to think about the anxiety and pressure he felt about it though. Every time Lindsey brought it up he got cranky and hid it, bottling it up, until she was out of site. When that finally happened he would go to their art room and vent. It was strange because, in a way, their relationship had just as many problems as his and Frank's had.

There were times when he'd simply sit and wonder if they could have made it. Sure, it sucked not having Frank around when they were supposed to be together, but it sucked just as much having to plan a great big wedding that he had no interest in what so ever.

Bottom line, every relationship was the same. Everyone had their problems.

"What you looking at Jack?" Gerard asked his son, who was sitting next to him, supposedly playing games on neopets.com on his laptop.

"Pictures," Jack answered rather bluntly, eyes glued to the screen as he moved the mouse around awkwardly.

Gerard took a few moments to simply contemplate his son. Sometimes he could see so much of himself in the boy that it scared the living shit out of him. Jack was almost identical to how Gerard had been when he was his age, that was probably why he felt he could read his son so well. It was no surprise that Jack would be going through a lot right now, but it did not go unnoticed by Gerard that there was something seriously troubling his young son.

"Yeah? Of what?" he asked, watching his son closely, as though trying to read his mind and push all those problems away.

Finally closing the wedding book, he leant back in his chair and stretched his arms upwards. He figured whatever Jack was doing, it was far more interesting then wedding dresses.

"I'm looking at pictures of you. Were you a good singer daddy?"

At Jacks answer, Gerard stopped stretching and froze. There was a reason Jack didn't know what Gerard sounded like when he sang. Sure, he had sung to him when he was little to get him off to sleep, but he hadn't heard what he had sounded like on stage with the rest of My Chemical Romance. The times when he would really sing. Their music was a little too grown up for a kid to understand.

"What sort of pictures are you looking at exactly?" Gerard asked, reaching out and turning the laptop towards him.

Jack didn't complain, he merely jumped out of his seat and ran around to stand next to Gerard so he could still see the screen full of small little thumbnails.

"That one there daddy, you look like you're yelling at everyone," Jack said, pointing one of his fingers at the said picture.

Gerard wasn't sure how or why his son had the sudden urge to look up photo's, but sure enough he had gone on a site called 'buzznet' and had clearly been scanning through pictures of Gerard's old band. The words 'chemical' and 'romance' were spelt horribly wrong up the top of the web page, but the computer must have corrected them as it was now showing thousands of pictures that people had uploaded.

"Click on that one daddy, it's Frankie! What happened to his hair?" Jack giggled as he pointed to a picture of Frank lying on the ground, sweat pouring off him and guitar in hand. His hair was cut into the long and dark on one side, short and blonde on the other side, style that was once so famous.

"Frank liked to change his hair a lot Jack; it was just something he did. Why are you looking at these pictures anyway?" he asked, helping his son up onto his lap so he would stop trying to jump up there on his own.

"I wanted to see," he said simply, pointing at the screen again. "Click that one daddy, click that one."

He thought about simply closing the lap top and putting an end to Jack's little trip down memory lane, but, if possible, Gerard found himself just as curious as his son to see some of their old photos. Plus, it couldn't really hurt that much, Jack would probably just look them all up again another day when Gerard wasn't around to catch him.

"You and Uncle Mikey look like vampires," Jack stated, pressing his finger into the screen again as a picture of Gerard and Mikey appeared. Their skin was pale, their make-up was dark and the collars of their shirts were pointed and high. They certainly did look like vampires.

"That was a long time ago Jack, look how long my hair is." Gerard laughed at the picture of himself whilst Jack just reached up a hand so he could tug at the ends of his now short hair.

"I like it better short though. Keep going," Jack instructed, now pushing his finger into the 'next' button. The laptop's screen distorted under his touch and Gerard had to wrestle his hand away so he wouldn't ruin it.

Picture after picture flashed across the screen, Jack asking a question to go with every single one. Frank and Gerard sticking their fingers up at the crowd, Bob trying to push Frank out of his bed, Gerard smoking a cigarette whilst being interviewed, Ray frozen in mid-shake of his afro on stage, Mikey being tackled to the ground by an over-enthused Frank.

It was odd looking back; Gerard was suddenly filled with a great sense of loss as though morning a dead loved one. Sharing these pictures and moments in time with Jack was perhaps even more messed up. Back when most of these photos were taken he had no clue that he would ever have a wife and no clue that he would ever have a son. It was hard to believe 'My Chemical Romance' had once been his life. His one and only love.

Then, a different group of photos began to flash across the screen. Frank and Gerard laughing in an interview, Frank licking Gerard's face, Gerard kissing Frank, Frank playing his guitar furiously whilst Gerard sung his lungs out. It brought on another rush of nostalgia. Back when those particular photos were taken, things had been simpler. Two friends just playing together, bouncing off each other's energy. No complications, no emotions to toss into the equation. It was all just for show.

"Wow," Jack said, exaggerating the length of the word.

An image of Frank flashed across the screen. It was a shot of pure power. There he knelt on the floor of whatever stage they had been playing on that night, guitar in hand and his mess of dark hair falling into his face. He was leaning forward so that his tongue could attempt to lick at the microphone. It was certainly a picture worthy of Jack's word of amazement.

The next lot of pictures were quite similar. Frank playing his guitar in every position imaginable. His face was always so focused, his body was always saturated in sweat and he looked every bit the most powerful figure on stage. Looking at the pictures was like staring into Frank's soul. One shot in time could capture his every essence.

"I bet he was always really tired," Jack stated, still staring, slightly transfixed on the pictures in front of him.

"You'd think so Jack, but truth was he just kept going and going like this all day long," Gerard sighed, rubbing at his eyes as though the very site of that display of energy was making him tired. "I think that's enough now, go inside and put your shoes on, we'll go to the park for a bit."

Jack complained, clearly wanting to look at more pictures, but Gerard shut the laptop and that was the end of it. Finally Jack walked off back inside the house, looking rather defeated. Gerard just sat there with memories, brought back by the images he had just seen, rushing back to him.

People thought Gerard was intense. That was a misconception.

He was artistic. Art was passion. Passion was intense.

Still, he never combined all of them together. On stage he was passionate. Music and performance was art. Naturally, he came across as intense.

The truth was though, the second he got off that stage, he was just plain old Gerard again. And plain old Gerard liked to relax, he liked to talk and he liked to be a hopeless romantic. That was his private quirk, the part of him the fans never saw, the part of him he never really spoke too much about in interviews.

He liked to just lay around the house, a loved one in his arms, watching the morning turn into day and the day turn into night. That had never been a problem before because every single person that had ever loved him back had always been happy to just cuddle up with him and forget the time. Every singly person that had ever loved him back, aside from Frank.

Frank couldn't fucking sit still for more then a few minutes. Much like the pictures implied, Frank was the very definition of intense.

Frank was art. Frank was passion. Frank was fucking intense.

And yet, Gerard had always loved that side of Frank, it fascinated him; it forced him to create, to stay alive. Because, after all, when he was with Frank he was usually performing and he liked to seem intense when he performed. If only to put on a show ... for the sake of art.

But, when Gerard finally took the plunge and grabbed Frank, pulling him into his private life, the hopeless romantic life, he hadn't realised that, unlike him, Frank's intensity never faltered.

Gerard had never wanted to change Frank. Not once, not ever. But when his true self shone through and he just wanted to relax with the energetic guitarist, it was difficult for him not to wonder what their relationship would be like if Frank did occasionally just relax with him.

Eventually, Frank just wore Gerard the fuck out.

Frank pushed him and pushed him to breaking point and was the first person to ever really get under Gerard's skin. He pissed him off, but in a twisted way, that only made him love him more. He was the first person Gerard had ever loved that could cause him so much frustration.

Gerard never lost control. Gerard was calm, he was patient and he kept his opinions to himself because he believed people didn't change, no matter what you shouted out at them. But Frank was different. Frank was the first person Gerard had ever been so frustrated with that he had been forced to lash out at. Forced to wish he would change him, if only for a day or two.

All he ever wanted to do was hold Frank, lie with him in silence and just have a conversation.

Looking back, Gerard remembered the first time he had ever seen Frank so exhausted that he had allowed himself to finally be held. The first time he had allowed himself to open up and just be with the people he loved without jumping around and wearing everyone out.

It was that memory, that turning point that Gerard always remembered as the day that represented the very summary of their relationship.

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It bothered Gerard when Frank would return from a performance with Leathermouth all hyped up and turned on from simply screaming into a microphone and jumping around with his guitar. It mainly only bother him though, because he wanted to ask Frank how his show went, he wanted to tell him how much he missed him and he wanted to tell him what he had been up to whilst he was away.

Frank didn't want to do any of those things. Frank wanted to come home and fuck.

But they compromised. Frank got what he wanted the moment he got home if Gerard got what he wanted afterwards. For that reason, their routine was fuck first, talk later.

This time, however, Gerard was the one to initiate the traditional routine.

Frank had been gone for a week. He had called every night, but it wasn't the same. It was Gerard's week with Jack and so he had been cooped up, taking care of a four year old without any grown-up interaction for seven whole days.

When Frank was away, he would call and they would talk for hours. By the time Frank walked through the door that night, Jack was in bed and Gerard was sick of talking. It was his turn to be the demanding one and he did not hear Frank complaining about that.

"Hey Gee, fuck man, boy did I miss y -" Frank tried to announce as he walked through the front door and threw his bags down. But he never got to finish because Gerard simply threw himself at him, smashing their lips together in a needy kiss.

"Missed you to - very late - bed," was all he said, his fingers already curling around the bottom of Frank's shirt.

"Jack asleep?" Frank asked. It was clear something was holding him back and the moment Gerard nodded, confirming his son was out cold, the locked up energy that Frank usually held smashed through its cage and attacked Gerard.

Now it was Gerard's turn to take a step back in surprise, but in no way did he urge Frank to settle down or go easy. Gerard never minded the sex, but it was never essential. Some nights he didn't care a less whether they had it or not. Tonight though, tonight he needed it.

"Pants Frankie, take them off - off, off, off," Gerard demanded, sticking his hand in Frank's back pocket and pushing it downwards causing his jeans to slip down his backside.

"Whatever the fucks got into you, I like it," Frank stated, trying to undo his belt, but Gerard was all over him and he seemed to be finding it difficult to go about doing what he had instructed.

"Been with a four year old all week - locked in house - couldn't even fucking draw -" he panted, kissing Frank between each sentence.

Somehow they made it to the bed, even though Gerard really had no clue how they made it there. They had slammed themselves up against so many walls, stumbled through so many wrong doors and bumped into so many scattered toys in the hallway that he wasn't even sure where they were anymore.

"You - oh fuck -" Frank was interrupted as Gerard grinded into him. "You - want - to - try - again - tonight?"

Gerard didn't stop kissing Frank for a second, he knew what he meant and whilst it worried him slightly what the outcome would be this time, they both certainly seemed in the right mood for it.

"Yes," Gerard said, pulling away from Franks lips so he could get at his neck. "But only if you're sure."

Gerard bit down, Frank whimpered and tugged roughly on Gerard's hair. It only caused him to smile into the mark he had just made on Frank's neck.

"I'm fucking sure, stop asking me," Frank demanded, this time he pushed his hips upward so that it was his erection pushing into Gerard only causing him to groan and bite down on his neck again.

"Around - move - t-turn around," Gerard struggled to get out between gasps as Frank continued to push upwards and into him.

When Frank managed to push Gerard away from him, just enough so that he could turn himself over, he braced himself, once again, on hands and knees.

This time, he let Gerard do what he had to do to prepare him properly, tapping his fingers impatiently against the bed spread as he did so.

When Gerard pushed into him, Frank remained quite but he pushed back slightly, urging him to go in deeper. Gerard took that as a good sign, for the most part, Frank seemed to be doing a lot better then the first time they had tried this.

"How you holding up?" Gerard asked once he knew that he could go in no further. He bent his head down to kiss Frank on his sweaty back.

"Piece of cake. It's not so bad this time," Frank replied. His fists were clutching tightly at the sheets, but he was speaking, he was breathing and he was moving around as though trying to help Gerard find that spot again.

"Alright I'm going to try moving," Gerard said, getting a better grip on Frank's hips.

"Good good, do something, this is getting old."

"You're a fucking smart ass Frank."

With that, Gerard slowly pushed himself out of Frank. Nothing, no whimper of pain, no altering of his breathing, he was doing great. So, Gerard pushed back in again. When he was satisfied that Frank had finally gotten the hang of it, he started to go a bit faster. That desperation and that need for adult companionship finally winning out making Gerard almost forget himself.

He pulled out and pushed in. This time he felt Frank's muscles contract slightly, he even caught the whisper of a small, pained cry.

"Still good Frankie?" he asked, slowing down even though his whole body begged him to go faster.

Frank nodded furiously. "Yup - fine -"

Satisfied, Gerard resumed his previous pace. Getting back into it, he could feel that sense of extreme pleasure course through his veins. He was close, it felt too good, he was so grateful towards Frank for letting him have this position, but he wanted to make sure he was enjoying it just as much.

Curling a hand around Frank's hips, he kept creeping around until he reached Frank's dick. But it was no longer erect and he felt the air leave his lungs. Frank wasn't enjoying this.

"Frank?"

"’Kay - I lied - it hurts a little -" he breathed out rather shakily. Gerard could feel Frank's muscles tighten again and could see the knuckles of his hands clutching at the blankets going white from the intensity of his grip.

Even though Gerard could feel how close he was, even though he wanted this, even though he was convinced he needed this, he let out a growl of frustration and pulled out of Frank.

"What are you doing? Keep going," Frank demanded, turning his head to look at Gerard with a slight fury in his eyes.

"That's enough Frank," Gerard said, shaking his head. His whole body demanded more, but he could see by the vast amount of sweat pouring down from Frank's forehead that it was getting too much for him.

"It's not enough. I said fucking keep going!"

To Gerard's surprise, Frank reached out with one arm and pushed him slightly. Furious at being told what to do and being shoved around, Gerard resumed his position and pushed back into Frank.

"Ah - shit!" Frank cried out immediately, his arms and legs almost crumbling underneath him. "Not so hard - fucking, go slower."

Almost shouting out in annoyance, Gerard pulled out once again. He hated doing it to Frank because hell, he did do it on purpose, but Frank was being a fuck-head again and he knew the only way to shut Frank up was to cause him pain.

Frank's trembling arms and legs gave out and he let himself fall face first down onto the pillow in front of him. It was clear by the irritated, deep-red colour of his lips that he had been biting down on them pretty hard during the whole episode. Gerard just collapsed down onto the bed next to him, panting hard.

"I didn't say to fucking stop Gee - why didn't you keep going? You're not done yet," Frank whined.

Somehow, Gerard wasn't even sure how, Frank managed to hoist himself back up onto his no doubt exhausted limbs. In that position, he grabbed Gerard's arm and tried to pull him towards him.

"No more Frank, I'm not in the mood anymore," Gerard protested, trying to wrestle his arm away. Frank was persistent.

"But I was doing better. Try again - fuck - I was doing this for you," he almost shouted, still tugging at the arm.

Gerard sat up and moved towards him slightly, but Frank looked too tired; he knew the same thing would just keep happening. They had made progress; he couldn't understand why Frank was so desperate to get it right straight away.

"I can't Frank, you've had enough, just get over it."

"No Gerard. Fucking hell, I can do this. It's not your problem anyway, I'm the one in pain, I'll live; now fucking keep going!"

By this stage Gerard had had enough. He was trying to help Frank and he couldn't see that. As usual, Frank wanted to be able to show Gerard he could be strong. It was getting old.

Frustrated at not being able to snatch his arm off Frank and furious at the fact that he would not back down, Gerard did something he had never done before. Pulling back his other arm, he swung forwards and punched Frank hard, right across the face.

At once, he knew Frank had expected it, because apart from the fact he let out a small cry of pain, he simply clasped at his face and allowed himself to crumble back down onto the pillow. Gerard followed suit. Lying and panting next to each other, their bodies all sweaty they finally came to some sort of silent agreement that the sex was over.

"What the fuck Gerard?" Frank finally shot out, still clutching onto his sweat, saturated face.

Finally calming down, Gerard almost laughed, but he was too exhausted for that.

"I'm sorry Frank, but god you piss me off sometimes. You left me no fucking choice. I'm not trying again tonight; you won’t be able to handle it. We'll try again later if you want just not tonight."

At those words, Frank fell silent again and the both remained that way until their breathing slowed down.

Feeling a slight chill run up his damp body, Gerard just pulled up his pants and hoped that would give him enough warmth, there was no way he could be fucked getting under the blankets when he would have to wrestle with Frank to un-tuck them.

Looking over at the heavy lidded and slightly shivering Frank, he reached out toward him and pulled his pants up and over his naked ass too.

"I can't believe you fucking hit me," he whined, his voice groggy with sleep. "There's a hotline I can call for that sort of stuff you know. I can have you arrested"

This time Gerard did laugh and he didn't stop until Frank was laughing to. Whilst the whole night had been one fucking mess, Gerard couldn't help but feel that, for once, he had taken control of the situation.

Moving towards the exhausted Frank, he wrapped one of his arms around his sticky body and used the other to run through his hair like he had been doing a lot lately. Frank didn't move away or complain about the embrace, he merely closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

It was the first time Frank had been that calm, it was the first time he had been so quite and still and Gerard kind of liked it.

"God Gee, I really tried for you tonight, I swear I did. Why can't I fucking do it? Why does it hurt so much? You never complain."

As serious as Frank's words came out, Gerard only smiled more. Now he was even opening up a little more, it was certainly a night full of events Gerard hadn't expected to happen.

"Frank, not every guy’s ass was designed to fit a dick in it you know. Practice makes perfect, I promise it will get easier," Gerard said, glad to give him some words of comfort.

As much as he hated to see Frank so weak like this, it just made him feel even more in love with the guy. This was a side he didn't often get to see and he liked it.

At that moment, there was a small knock on the door and Gerard made sure both of them were dressed as decent as they could be before the door opened and Jack appeared, standing on the tops of his toes so that his completely stretched out arm could just reach the handle.

"Hey Jack, what's wrong?" Gerard asked, sitting up. Frank just moved his head slightly so that he could see if everything was alright.

Jack's eyes were watery, it was clear he had been crying. His bottom lip quivered slightly at Gerard's question and he sniffed loudly as his big brown eyes moved to look at the only part of Frank he could really see, his bare back.

"I heard Frankie shouting and I got scared he was in trouble," Jack said, his voice soft and shaky.

Instantly Gerard felt his heart melt at his son's words. There was so much concern in his eyes as he wiped at them with the back of his hands that he couldn't help but be touched at how worried he was for Frank's safety.

"I'm good Jack ... just - um - stubbed my toe," Frank lied, talking more to the pillow, which he still refused to get up from, rather then to Jack himself.

"See Jack, he's fine buddy. You want me to come tuck you back into bed?" Gerard asked, trying to sound as reassuring as he could.

Jack's lower lip quivered again as another tiny tear rolled down his cheek.

"I want to stay here with Frankie," he sobbed, staring at his feet as though he was going to get yelled at for refusing to go back to bed.

Gerard could feel his eyebrows crinkled together in the middle. It was a look of pity for his young son and he couldn't get rid of it. Jack just looked so sad, it was almost heart breaking.

"Well, hurry up then, jump in," Frank said, shuffling over slightly.

Jack still sobbed as he made his way over to the middle of the bed and climbed onto it. He crawled upwards until he was in between the two of them where he finally rested his head on the same pillow that Frank was lying on. Slowly he kissed Frank on the only part of him he could really get to, his shoulder.

"Is your toe okay now Frankie?" he asked. Frank turned his head and nodded before putting an arm around Jack and pulling him in closely.

"Yeah Jack, it's all better. Go to sleep, I'm alright," he said, smiling into Jack's hair.

"Tell me a story," Jack demanded, his eyes closing as he snuggled into Frank's arms.

"Once upon a time - um - there was a fish called Nemo - and ... he went missing. His dad searched the entire ocean for him. Finally he met up with this little blue fish - now she was a bit stupid and kind of really annoying ... but, they were friends anyway and together they just kept swimming until they found - what was it - turtles, I think and -"

Frank yawned as he continued to tell a tale that he often claimed he was the creator of. Gerard wondered what Jack was going to think of him when he finally saw the movie 'Finding Nemo' and discovered Frank wasn't the story teller he claimed to be.

As the story continued and Jack's breathing steadied as he went limp in Frank's arms, Gerard couldn't help himself any longer. Bending low he found Frank's lips and kissed them.

"What was that for?" Frank asked, still surprised when he got a kiss like that. For Frank, if a kiss didn't lead to sex, he usually couldn't see the point in it, but this time, he just accepted it for what it was.

"Just because," Gerard said, resting his forehead against Franks, listening to Jack's gentle breathing.

Eventually Frank wriggled his head away from Gerard's only to move it back in again at a different angle. This time, he took it upon himself to close his eyes and press his soft lips against Gerard’s.

Gerard laughed softly. "What was that for?" he copied, genuinely surprised at this rare show of affection.

"That was for putting up with me."

Touching his forehead back against Franks it wasn't long before the guitarists' breathing fell into rhythm with Jack's. With both of them sleeping, Gerard pulled away slightly to take them both in. Reaching out both his hands, he ran one through Frank's hair and the other through Jack's. Neither of them stirred.

For some reason, just the site of his son and the man that he loved locked in such an innocent embrace, made him feel happier then he had ever felt in his entire life.

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"Daddy, someone's at the door," Jack called out from inside, interrupting Gerard's thoughts. "Can I get it?"

"What? No, you can't!" Gerard shouted back, getting up from his seat and shaking the memory that had almost put him into a peaceful sleep aside. He headed back inside the house.

"Why not?" Jack asked, now standing by the front door pouting.

"Because I said so, that's why."

Finally making it to the door, Gerard pulled it open and was slightly taken a back when he saw Frank waving back at him.

A guilty feeling instantly crept over him. It was as though Frank could see through him somehow and knew that Gerard had just been thinking about him. He wasn't even sure why that made him feel guilty, it just did.

"Frankie!" Jack yelled excitedly, before Gerard could even say his own greeting.

"Hey hey buddy. I've got something for you," Frank announced as the door was opened and Jack hugged him around the legs.

"You did?" Jack squealed.

"You did?" Gerard repeated, looking suspicious. Frank had been more then generous lately, a puppy was a big thing, he wondered what else he could possibly have for Jack.

Frank disappeared around the corner for a moment only to re-appear with a small guitar case in his arms. Jack's mouth fell open as he stopped jumping around and just stared.

"Is that a guitar?" Jack asked, his eyes just staring at the object in Frank's hand.

"Sure is and it's all yours. Just don't name it Pansy, the dog will get confused."

Gerard watched as Frank handed the miniature guitar case over to the shocked looking Jack. His son hugged Frank again before carrying his present, rather awkwardly as it was much bigger in Jack's hands then in Frank's, off into the lounge room.

"Wow! That was really nice of you Frank," Gerard said, finally finding his voice now that he didn't have Jack to compete with.

"Yeah, well I figured someone has to play and if it can't be me then it may as well be Jack."

Gerard nodded, feeling slightly guilty once again. After all, he still felt responsible for Frank loosing his passion when it came to playing the guitar.

After their break-up it was as though Franks fingers just forgot how to play. He still remembered the day he sat at the back of one of Leathermouth’s final shows, hoping Frank wouldn't see him there as they had only just separated. Frank's playing had been terrible, his whole performance had been terrible and Gerard had just sat there the whole show, his head buried in his hands. It was like something had just died inside the both of them.

"Well, like I said Frank, that was real generous."

At that moment Jack came running back out to them, making high-pitched guitar noises as he jumped around. Finally, he stopped moving, only to stare at Frank as though noticing him for the first time.

"You're all dressed up Frankie," Jack finally said, moving over to hug Gerard's legs, if only for something to do. "Why are you all dressed up?"

"I just wanted to look nice for you both," he said, smiling with pride at the fact Jack had noticed.

Jack tilted his head to the side as he continued to stare at Frank, his finger twirling around the material on Gerard's pants.

"Have you got a date Frankie?" Jack asked, making Gerard turn to look at his son. The boy sounded quite serious as though he was a parent trying to find out where their child was headed off to.

"As a matter of fact Jack, I do. Is that alright? Do I have your approval?" Frank winked at Gerard as he spoke, making him laugh slightly as he inspected his son, waiting to see what he would say next.

Jack tapped his chin with one hand, puffing his bottom lip out as though thinking really hard.

"I guess so. You can go out, but you have to promise to teach me how to play the guitar," Jack announced, letting go of Gerard to cross his arms across his chest.

"Deal," Frank replied, cringing slightly, no doubt wondering how he was supposed to teach Jack when he had forgotten how to play.

Jack clapped his hands together as though pleased with their deal. "Can we start right now?"

"Um - sorry Jack, I can't stay long," Frank said, leaning forwards to ruffle Jack's hair up like he usually did.

Gerard noticed the change in his son immediately. The usual playful character, that he had no doubt obtained from Frank long ago, was no longer there. Jack merely looked quite crestfallen as he stared at his shoes and played with the zipper on his jacket.

"Aw, come on Jack, don't be like that. I'm putting aside a whole weekend for you next week, we can play guitar the whole time," Frank tried to reassure him.

Jack just nodded as he turned around and headed back inside. The energy he had when he raced back out to them was now gone.

"What did I do?" Frank questioned Gerard when Jack was out of site. But Gerard momentarily forgot about his son as Frank's words sunk in and he realised he had a question of his own to ask.

"So? What's her name?" Gerard asked, finding himself quite curious as to who Frank would be dating. Frank didn't date.

"His name is Max," Frank corrected.

"Frank ... We've been through this already. You're not gay," Gerard said, shaking his head.

Sure, most people would consider a man going out with another man for three years to be very gay. But, Gerard was thoroughly convinced Frank was not as into men as he thought he was. He loved women. He had always loved women.

The whole relationship that they used to have had been easy to do. They were best friends, they were close, it wasn't a hard transition. Still, a part of Gerard was thoroughly convinced that, personally, he could never be with another guy. Frank was and would forever be the only exception.

Frank, on the other hand, had continued seeing both men and women when the relationship had ended. Did that make him gay? Gerard knew that was a definite no. Frank was Frank and sex was sex. It didn't matter who it was with.

Still, it did bother Gerard that this new fling wasn't just about sex. By the sounds of it, Frank was in a relationship with this Max person. But Frank was good at misunderstanding the truth. Was it an actual relationship or was Frank just pulling his leg to see how he would react?

"I do believe Max has finally turned me," Frank announced, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"Why's that? Because you've kept him around longer then most of your fuck buddies?" Gerard said, quite surprised at the anger in his own voice.

"No, because I'm actually making an effort this time. We're going to the 'Blank Canvas Records' party tomorrow night and I think I'm actually going to wear a suit," Frank said, raising his eyebrows as though his own words had surprised him.

Gerard stood there, trying to register what Frank had just said.

'Blank Canvas Records' was the name of Lindsey's record company and the party she had organised for tomorrow night was a huge charity event. It was a fancy gathering, one which Gerard could never, ever, not in a million years see Frank at. It definitely was not his scene. Hell, it wasn't even Gerard's scene, but he had to go for Lindsey.

Yet, the fact that Frank was going and that he was taking someone else with him, threw Gerard off completely. On the odd occasion that Frank did take someone out on a date, it would never be anywhere as nice as the party tomorrow night. Whoever this Max guy was, he had to be something special for Frank to pull something like this.

Even though Gerard hated to admit it, the words hit hard.

"You're going to the fund raiser?" he said, laughing slightly as though it was one big joke.

"Yeah, I am ... and I'm wearing a suit I said. I thought you'd be more surprised about that actually."

Frank's smile widened, it was almost as though he was catching on to what Gerard was thinking. As though he could somehow tell how Gerard was offended because not once in the three years that they had dated had they gone to something so formal (with the exception of anything to do with the band, of course).

Frank reached out and patted Gerard on the shoulder, almost in mocking, before he turned around and practically skipped off to his car.

"I'll see you there Gee ... I'll be the hot looking one," he called out, starting up his car, waving once and then driving away.

Gerard just stood there, watching the convertible disappear around the corner.

For some reason, he was left with an odd, yet extremely familiar feeling in his stomach. He knew what it was and he hated it.

It was jealousy.

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AN: Yes, yes, I know it's a little shorter then the others, but it was esential. I thought it was about time I had a Gerard chapter and so I did. It's not all Gerard, but its mostly Gerard and it's a nice little change. Still, I couldn't fit all I wanted from the next one into this as the charity event chapter has a little too much gonig on to be combined with this, didn't want to complicate it :)