Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Raindrops On Roses
Summer was over and it was being fall with meant the weather was changing along with my life. It was Jr. year about 2 months into the start of school. Duke and I had broken up before summer even ended. I had started to seprate my self from the everyone. I was still cheerleading but I was being dark and depressed. Everyone thought it was because of Duke. But of course it was Brendon when isn't Brendon. I hadn't spoken to him since that day at my house. He actully acted like I didn't exsist. Ryan had his girlfriend Laura so he was only coming to see me once a week. I was drinking and taking random pills all the time. I know people noticed but nobody ever said anything to me. I felt alone even in a crowded room.
It was lunch time and I went to my car I wasn't feel well.
"Rory" Alicia said
"I am not in the mood to be here" I said driving off.
I got home
"Hello" I yelled
No one answer like usual my parents had a new life in New York they sent me money and made sure everything was paid but I was lucky to get a call once a month.
I went up to my room and open the window I pulled out the screen and sat on the roof. I had a bottle of Vodka. I sat there drinking when Mrs.Urie drove by. She stopped the car.
"Rory" She said
"What" I hissed
"Are you okay" I said I saw Brendon in the car.
"Just dandy" I said taking another drink of vodka
"Brendon why don't you go spend sometime with Rory" his mom said.
"No thanks I actully like being alone" I slurred.
I almost fell off the roof Brendon jumped out the car
"Rory I am coming up" he said
"Do what you must" I said
"Oh by the way Mrs.Urie thanks for taking the only boy I will ever love away from me" I said as Brendon crawled out the window to me. She got in her car and parked in the driveway and walked into her house.
"Rory give me the vodka" Brendon said
"Nope its my best friend" I said taking another drink.
"Fine at least sit down" Brendon said
"Do you think the fall would kill me" I said taking another huge drink.
"No I don't Rory please sit down you are drunk"
"Nope" I said walking closer to the edge
"I am sorry is that what you want to hear" He said
"Its too late for that" I said almost falling off again
"Who are you"
"I am the girl who lost broken hearted and just doesn't give a fuck anymore." I said
Brendon saw my cell phone close to the window and grabbed.
"Calling her on my cellphone" I screamed throwing the empty bottle to the ground.
"No Ryan maybe he can calm you down" He said
"Ryan get to Rory's now"
"Ryan wants to talk to you"
"Rory get in the house" Ryan said
"Nope" I said and I shut the phone
"Good try though" I said
"Why are you being so difficult" He said
"Well lets think I think everything is good with us 4 months ago and that maybe we have a chance and you know what you act like I don't exsist." I said stummbling back into the house grabbing another bottle of Vodka and lighting a cigargette.
Ryan came flying in
"I told you she has gotten bad Brendon" he said
"Do her parents know"
"Yeah and they said its her life she is going to do what she wants." Ryan said
I was sitting down drinking in my own little world. I got up and grabbed a razor off my dresser and walked to the bathroom. I shut the door and locked.
I started cutting. I was addicted to it along with drinking.
"Rory come out" Brendon said
I did one more really deep cut and walked out blood running down my hands.
"What did you do" Ryan said pulling up my sleeves.
"Brendon go get a cold rag" Ryan said calmly. This wasn't the first time he had dealt with it.
"Ryan" I said looking at him he looked me the eyes
"You need me more don't you" He said
"Yeah and I want Brendon back" I said
"Well gee Rory lets just cut our arms all up and be drunk and be like Brendon take me back" Ryan said
"What" Brendon said handing Ryan the cold washcloth which he put on my arm to stop the bleeding.
"Ry I need a smoke" I said
"Brendon get her one please" Ryan said
Ryans cell rang
"Hello" he said
"Can't Spence Rory's at it again" he said
"Yeah I'll see you in a few." he said
"Spence is on his way over" Ryan said
"Okay" Brendon said as he handed me a cigarette and a lighter.
"Rory I am not leaving you I am going down stairs to get some water for you Brendon hold this and don't let her move to much." Ryan said
Brendon took Ryans place
I sat there
"Rory I am so sorry, I thought you where all moppy because of Duke but its not him is it" Brendon said
"Wow your quick" I said
"Rory I still have feelings for you but I am in love Leslie" he said
I got up and took the cigarette and burn it into my arm. My face went from pissed off to relief.
"RYAN" Brendon screamed
Ryan came running and pulled the cigarette off my arm.
"What the hell did you say to her" He yelled at Brendon
"Just the truth" Brendon said
He took the cloth out of Brendons hands and put it back on me blood was dripping everywhere.
"This is to much for me" Brendon said
"SIT" yelled Ryan
Brendon did what he was told.
"Baby hold this on your self a minute" Ryan said
He pointed to Brendon to follow him. I could here then.
"This your fault and its my fault too" Ryan said
"How" Brendon asked
"I know I am going to reget ever telling you this but I need your help Bren that girl in there once was the love of your life, shes lost, confused, broken I am scared one day I am going to come over and she will have mixed the wrong things together or cut in just the right spot and be dead she doesn't care anymore, she quit caring when you where trying to keep her on the side and have Leslie too. He said
"What do you want from me" Brendon said
"Go in there and look at her Bren she still the same Rory she just needs you to bring her back from the dead" Ryan said
Brendon and Ryan walked back in Brendon stood there and looked at me.
"Ryan hes creeping me out" I said
"Baby it will all be okay I promise I love you" he whispered in my ear.
"Ryan" Spencer called from down stairs
"Up here bring some water for Rory please" Ryan yelled
"Okay"
"Rors let me see" Ryan said taking off the cloth off my arm.
Brendon came over and sat down next to me. I scooted closer to Ryan.
"How bad is it this time" Spencer said coming over looking at my arm.
"Worst I've seen yet" Ryan said
"Wait you to have both know what has been going and no one told me why and for how long" Brendon snapped
"About 3 months and because we thought you would only make it worse" Ryan said
"Which by the looks of it we where right" Spencer said
"So you are telling me my two best friends have been keeping this from me" Brendon said
"Yeah but only because I begged them too" I said
"Rory" Brendon said taking me into his arms I felt tears on my shoulder.
"I am so sorry if I knew all this was going to happen I would have told my parents off" Brendon said
"Will let you guys talk Rory Spence and I are going to be right down stairs and Brendon if she tries anything just holler" Ryan said to him and Spencer got up and walked down stairs.
"Rory say something"
"Love is suicide look what it has done to me Brendon" I said
"Rory I really never knew how much I hurt you"
"I wanted to die Brendon even when I was with Duke I wanted to die because I wanted no needed you" I said
"Rory I am sorry"
"Brendon you where it for me I knew it that day in the chruch" I said
"Rory so much has happened we can't just go back"
"No one is saying go back Brendon just start over" I said
"Can you stop this stupid shit"
"With help from you Ryan and Spence" I said
"To bad Kimmy moved away she could straighten your ass out no problem" he said
"Rory I am willing to give this a shot but if you start drinking or cutting I am gone" He said.
"But what about your parents and I thought you where in love with Leslie" I said lighting a cigarette.
"I only said that because I was mad at what you where doing to your self it hurt me just thinking about you like this" he said
"Bren you can kiss me if you want" I said Brendon leaned over and put his lips on mine. He pushed his toungue into my mouth and laid me back on the bed we stayed like this for about 15 minutes.
"Rory I forgot what it was like to kiss you and how it makes my heart skip beats." He said
I smiled at him and grabbed him and crashed my lips back to his.
"I love you bren" I said
"Rory I love you too I am never letting you go again."
Brendon grabbed me and we started making out again. Ryan and Spencer walked in
"Well I thought it would be a blood bath for how quiet it was" Spencer said
Brendon and I looked up I look at Ryan to make sure he was okay he knew I loved him it just wasn't Brendon and I had. He smiled at me letting me know he was okay.
"Rors let get thoose arms bandaged up" Ryan said
"I have a few thing I need to take care of but what do you say we all stay here tonight order pizza and watch movie" Brendon said
"Sound great" Spencer said
The funny part is what Brendon did realize was after on of my cutting episode Ryan and Spencer always stayed the night.
"Rory I love you and I promise I will be right back" Brendon said
"I love you too and okay" I said
"Rors do me a favor take that ring off its cursed we went on a downword sprial from the moment I gave it to you" Brendon said
I took it off and handed it to him he tossed it out the window.
He kissed me again and walked out the door.
"Come on baby lets get you bandaged up" Ryan said
"Ry are you okay" I asked
"If this is what it takes to get my Rory back than yes" He said kissing me.
"I love you to Ry" I said
"All I have to say is don't get caught I don't want to be going to Rorys funernal" Spencer said
"No worries we been doing this way to long" Ryan said
Ryan cleaned and wrapped bandages arms.
I kissed him.
"Thanks Babe" I said.
"So what kind of pizza" Spencer said
"Cheese" I said getting up but stumbbling
"STill buzzen" Spencer said
"Yeah" I said
"Come on baby" Ryan said putting his arms around me and sitting me on the couch.
We watched The Simpson and Brendon can in looking like hell.
"What happen to you" I asked
"My parents where suprisingly understand and aplogied for tearing us apart in the first place and they knew I was going to come home telling I am was back with you. Then I went to Leslie's she didn't take it so well. She told me that if was because she making me wait until we where married that she would give it me now and I explain to her that the world is out of wack if we aren't together and she started hitting me telling me how she had our whole wedding planed and how we where going to have 4 kids But the way I have decided Rory doesn't hit like a girl."
"Hey I was drunk" I said
"And you still knocked him on his ass" Spencer said
"Thats one thing I wish I could remember sorry babe" I said
"I am kind of glad you don't I am never going to live it down with those to and then to have you on top it would be more than I can handle" Brendon said kissing me
"Yeah sorry about that again Bren" I said
"Hey I know I deserved it" He said
"Okay so does that mean I get to sock you ever you out of line" I said
"Oh please that world be great entertainment" Spencer said
"NO" Brendon said
"So guys hows the band going" I said
"I've seen you how many times in the last 3 month and not once have you asked" Spencer said
"Actully baby its going great" Ryan said
"Hey Ry whats up with you calling my girlfriend baby" Brendon said
"I've just calling her it for the last 4 months I kind of got use to it I'll stop if it bugs you Bren" Ryan said
"It doesn't bug me I was just wondering why" he said
"I need to take a shower" I said
"Random much" Ryan said
"Not nearly enough" I said
I got up to take a shower but I was buzzing really hard still so I fell back down.
"Ry" I said
"Rors you are with Brendon now he can deal with." Ryan said
"Deal with what" Brendon said
"Helping Rory take a shower" Ryan said
"Wait you've seen Rory naked" Brendon asked
"Yeah he has only because I always feel dirty when I drink and the one time I took one by myself I ended up having hitting my head and Ryan found me knocked out" I said part telling the truth part lying.
"I got it" Brendon said helping me walk upstairs.
"I love you Bren"
"Rory have you and Ryan ever you know" he said looking at me in the eyes.
"No" I said looking him dead in the eyes.
"Okay baby I love you too" He said
Brendon started to undress me.
"Bren you can join me if you want to you don't have to sit the toilet and supervise like Ryan does" I said
He didn't say anything he just got undressed quick. We got into the shower he put his arms around my waist and pulled my body close to him. His lips went slowly down my neck causing me to shiver his body rubbed against my back. I turned around so I was facing him. He grabbed me and pinned me against the wall. I wrapped my legs around him.
"Rory are you sure" he said
"I love you Bren" I said
"I love you too" He said and enter me we where in the shower until the water turned cold. We got out and got dressed and headed down stairs
"Took you long enough pizzas here" Spencer said
Ryan just smiled at me
We got our pizza and sat down on the couch to watch a movie. When the doorbell rang. Ryan got up and answered the door to find.....
It was lunch time and I went to my car I wasn't feel well.
"Rory" Alicia said
"I am not in the mood to be here" I said driving off.
I got home
"Hello" I yelled
No one answer like usual my parents had a new life in New York they sent me money and made sure everything was paid but I was lucky to get a call once a month.
I went up to my room and open the window I pulled out the screen and sat on the roof. I had a bottle of Vodka. I sat there drinking when Mrs.Urie drove by. She stopped the car.
"Rory" She said
"What" I hissed
"Are you okay" I said I saw Brendon in the car.
"Just dandy" I said taking another drink of vodka
"Brendon why don't you go spend sometime with Rory" his mom said.
"No thanks I actully like being alone" I slurred.
I almost fell off the roof Brendon jumped out the car
"Rory I am coming up" he said
"Do what you must" I said
"Oh by the way Mrs.Urie thanks for taking the only boy I will ever love away from me" I said as Brendon crawled out the window to me. She got in her car and parked in the driveway and walked into her house.
"Rory give me the vodka" Brendon said
"Nope its my best friend" I said taking another drink.
"Fine at least sit down" Brendon said
"Do you think the fall would kill me" I said taking another huge drink.
"No I don't Rory please sit down you are drunk"
"Nope" I said walking closer to the edge
"I am sorry is that what you want to hear" He said
"Its too late for that" I said almost falling off again
"Who are you"
"I am the girl who lost broken hearted and just doesn't give a fuck anymore." I said
Brendon saw my cell phone close to the window and grabbed.
"Calling her on my cellphone" I screamed throwing the empty bottle to the ground.
"No Ryan maybe he can calm you down" He said
"Ryan get to Rory's now"
"Ryan wants to talk to you"
"Rory get in the house" Ryan said
"Nope" I said and I shut the phone
"Good try though" I said
"Why are you being so difficult" He said
"Well lets think I think everything is good with us 4 months ago and that maybe we have a chance and you know what you act like I don't exsist." I said stummbling back into the house grabbing another bottle of Vodka and lighting a cigargette.
Ryan came flying in
"I told you she has gotten bad Brendon" he said
"Do her parents know"
"Yeah and they said its her life she is going to do what she wants." Ryan said
I was sitting down drinking in my own little world. I got up and grabbed a razor off my dresser and walked to the bathroom. I shut the door and locked.
I started cutting. I was addicted to it along with drinking.
"Rory come out" Brendon said
I did one more really deep cut and walked out blood running down my hands.
"What did you do" Ryan said pulling up my sleeves.
"Brendon go get a cold rag" Ryan said calmly. This wasn't the first time he had dealt with it.
"Ryan" I said looking at him he looked me the eyes
"You need me more don't you" He said
"Yeah and I want Brendon back" I said
"Well gee Rory lets just cut our arms all up and be drunk and be like Brendon take me back" Ryan said
"What" Brendon said handing Ryan the cold washcloth which he put on my arm to stop the bleeding.
"Ry I need a smoke" I said
"Brendon get her one please" Ryan said
Ryans cell rang
"Hello" he said
"Can't Spence Rory's at it again" he said
"Yeah I'll see you in a few." he said
"Spence is on his way over" Ryan said
"Okay" Brendon said as he handed me a cigarette and a lighter.
"Rory I am not leaving you I am going down stairs to get some water for you Brendon hold this and don't let her move to much." Ryan said
Brendon took Ryans place
I sat there
"Rory I am so sorry, I thought you where all moppy because of Duke but its not him is it" Brendon said
"Wow your quick" I said
"Rory I still have feelings for you but I am in love Leslie" he said
I got up and took the cigarette and burn it into my arm. My face went from pissed off to relief.
"RYAN" Brendon screamed
Ryan came running and pulled the cigarette off my arm.
"What the hell did you say to her" He yelled at Brendon
"Just the truth" Brendon said
He took the cloth out of Brendons hands and put it back on me blood was dripping everywhere.
"This is to much for me" Brendon said
"SIT" yelled Ryan
Brendon did what he was told.
"Baby hold this on your self a minute" Ryan said
He pointed to Brendon to follow him. I could here then.
"This your fault and its my fault too" Ryan said
"How" Brendon asked
"I know I am going to reget ever telling you this but I need your help Bren that girl in there once was the love of your life, shes lost, confused, broken I am scared one day I am going to come over and she will have mixed the wrong things together or cut in just the right spot and be dead she doesn't care anymore, she quit caring when you where trying to keep her on the side and have Leslie too. He said
"What do you want from me" Brendon said
"Go in there and look at her Bren she still the same Rory she just needs you to bring her back from the dead" Ryan said
Brendon and Ryan walked back in Brendon stood there and looked at me.
"Ryan hes creeping me out" I said
"Baby it will all be okay I promise I love you" he whispered in my ear.
"Ryan" Spencer called from down stairs
"Up here bring some water for Rory please" Ryan yelled
"Okay"
"Rors let me see" Ryan said taking off the cloth off my arm.
Brendon came over and sat down next to me. I scooted closer to Ryan.
"How bad is it this time" Spencer said coming over looking at my arm.
"Worst I've seen yet" Ryan said
"Wait you to have both know what has been going and no one told me why and for how long" Brendon snapped
"About 3 months and because we thought you would only make it worse" Ryan said
"Which by the looks of it we where right" Spencer said
"So you are telling me my two best friends have been keeping this from me" Brendon said
"Yeah but only because I begged them too" I said
"Rory" Brendon said taking me into his arms I felt tears on my shoulder.
"I am so sorry if I knew all this was going to happen I would have told my parents off" Brendon said
"Will let you guys talk Rory Spence and I are going to be right down stairs and Brendon if she tries anything just holler" Ryan said to him and Spencer got up and walked down stairs.
"Rory say something"
"Love is suicide look what it has done to me Brendon" I said
"Rory I really never knew how much I hurt you"
"I wanted to die Brendon even when I was with Duke I wanted to die because I wanted no needed you" I said
"Rory I am sorry"
"Brendon you where it for me I knew it that day in the chruch" I said
"Rory so much has happened we can't just go back"
"No one is saying go back Brendon just start over" I said
"Can you stop this stupid shit"
"With help from you Ryan and Spence" I said
"To bad Kimmy moved away she could straighten your ass out no problem" he said
"Rory I am willing to give this a shot but if you start drinking or cutting I am gone" He said.
"But what about your parents and I thought you where in love with Leslie" I said lighting a cigarette.
"I only said that because I was mad at what you where doing to your self it hurt me just thinking about you like this" he said
"Bren you can kiss me if you want" I said Brendon leaned over and put his lips on mine. He pushed his toungue into my mouth and laid me back on the bed we stayed like this for about 15 minutes.
"Rory I forgot what it was like to kiss you and how it makes my heart skip beats." He said
I smiled at him and grabbed him and crashed my lips back to his.
"I love you bren" I said
"Rory I love you too I am never letting you go again."
Brendon grabbed me and we started making out again. Ryan and Spencer walked in
"Well I thought it would be a blood bath for how quiet it was" Spencer said
Brendon and I looked up I look at Ryan to make sure he was okay he knew I loved him it just wasn't Brendon and I had. He smiled at me letting me know he was okay.
"Rors let get thoose arms bandaged up" Ryan said
"I have a few thing I need to take care of but what do you say we all stay here tonight order pizza and watch movie" Brendon said
"Sound great" Spencer said
The funny part is what Brendon did realize was after on of my cutting episode Ryan and Spencer always stayed the night.
"Rory I love you and I promise I will be right back" Brendon said
"I love you too and okay" I said
"Rors do me a favor take that ring off its cursed we went on a downword sprial from the moment I gave it to you" Brendon said
I took it off and handed it to him he tossed it out the window.
He kissed me again and walked out the door.
"Come on baby lets get you bandaged up" Ryan said
"Ry are you okay" I asked
"If this is what it takes to get my Rory back than yes" He said kissing me.
"I love you to Ry" I said
"All I have to say is don't get caught I don't want to be going to Rorys funernal" Spencer said
"No worries we been doing this way to long" Ryan said
Ryan cleaned and wrapped bandages arms.
I kissed him.
"Thanks Babe" I said.
"So what kind of pizza" Spencer said
"Cheese" I said getting up but stumbbling
"STill buzzen" Spencer said
"Yeah" I said
"Come on baby" Ryan said putting his arms around me and sitting me on the couch.
We watched The Simpson and Brendon can in looking like hell.
"What happen to you" I asked
"My parents where suprisingly understand and aplogied for tearing us apart in the first place and they knew I was going to come home telling I am was back with you. Then I went to Leslie's she didn't take it so well. She told me that if was because she making me wait until we where married that she would give it me now and I explain to her that the world is out of wack if we aren't together and she started hitting me telling me how she had our whole wedding planed and how we where going to have 4 kids But the way I have decided Rory doesn't hit like a girl."
"Hey I was drunk" I said
"And you still knocked him on his ass" Spencer said
"Thats one thing I wish I could remember sorry babe" I said
"I am kind of glad you don't I am never going to live it down with those to and then to have you on top it would be more than I can handle" Brendon said kissing me
"Yeah sorry about that again Bren" I said
"Hey I know I deserved it" He said
"Okay so does that mean I get to sock you ever you out of line" I said
"Oh please that world be great entertainment" Spencer said
"NO" Brendon said
"So guys hows the band going" I said
"I've seen you how many times in the last 3 month and not once have you asked" Spencer said
"Actully baby its going great" Ryan said
"Hey Ry whats up with you calling my girlfriend baby" Brendon said
"I've just calling her it for the last 4 months I kind of got use to it I'll stop if it bugs you Bren" Ryan said
"It doesn't bug me I was just wondering why" he said
"I need to take a shower" I said
"Random much" Ryan said
"Not nearly enough" I said
I got up to take a shower but I was buzzing really hard still so I fell back down.
"Ry" I said
"Rors you are with Brendon now he can deal with." Ryan said
"Deal with what" Brendon said
"Helping Rory take a shower" Ryan said
"Wait you've seen Rory naked" Brendon asked
"Yeah he has only because I always feel dirty when I drink and the one time I took one by myself I ended up having hitting my head and Ryan found me knocked out" I said part telling the truth part lying.
"I got it" Brendon said helping me walk upstairs.
"I love you Bren"
"Rory have you and Ryan ever you know" he said looking at me in the eyes.
"No" I said looking him dead in the eyes.
"Okay baby I love you too" He said
Brendon started to undress me.
"Bren you can join me if you want to you don't have to sit the toilet and supervise like Ryan does" I said
He didn't say anything he just got undressed quick. We got into the shower he put his arms around my waist and pulled my body close to him. His lips went slowly down my neck causing me to shiver his body rubbed against my back. I turned around so I was facing him. He grabbed me and pinned me against the wall. I wrapped my legs around him.
"Rory are you sure" he said
"I love you Bren" I said
"I love you too" He said and enter me we where in the shower until the water turned cold. We got out and got dressed and headed down stairs
"Took you long enough pizzas here" Spencer said
Ryan just smiled at me
We got our pizza and sat down on the couch to watch a movie. When the doorbell rang. Ryan got up and answered the door to find.....
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