FicWad

Note: I never said I own bleach, only that it owns me.

Chapter Two - Complicated lie

The ceremony had been beautiful so far. But then again, not much had happened yet. Some music had been played. And that was about it.
Inuoe stood on the left side of the altar, in her pink dress, acting out her part as Rukia's bride's maid. Renji stood beside Ichigo on the other side of the altar and all of them, including the guests, were waiting for Rukia. But Renji had trouble in concentrating on the ceremony. Every single minute since he had woken up for the second time this day he had pondered on whether to tell Rukia everything, or just keep his mouth shut forever. On one hand there was the bliss of not knowing. Her happiness weaved of strings of lies. On the other hand, he could tell her everything. Tell her the truth. And see her happiness fade and their friendship go lost.
The doors opened and in the doorway stood Rukia in her wedding dress. It was simple, but she made it more beautiful then the sun rising in the morning. Her brother brought her down the aisle. The scene was almost as picked from a fairytale. When they gotten al the way to the altar, Rukia's brother kissed her on the cheeks and with very few words he put her hand into Ichigo's. His faced seemed as cold and expressionless as always, but Renji had learned to interpret his captains' eyes. And they showed more than enough. He wasn't really fond of this wedding, but he went along with it, since it meant much to Rukia.
Ichigo smiled weakly toward Rukia and Renji interpret it as nervousness. Renji sighed silently and hoped that it would calm his own racing heart down. This wedding was proceeding just fine. There was no need to worry. The only thing that could stop the wedding was Renji, and Renji wasn't about to do that.
When they had gotten ready for the ceremony earlier, Ichigo had acted like nothing had happened last night. Renji had sighed in relief over the fact that Ichigo had no memory of the night. On his own account, the memories slowly came back, and the fog which had clouded them seemed to vanish. He wasn't really sure whether it was better to remember or not.
"Dearly beloved. We are gathered her today to..."
Renji couldn't help but to wonder what last night meant to him or to Ichigo. Was it just a drunken stupid mistake, a spur of the moment? Or was there something deeper, something that tried to tell them to stop this wedding? But Renji only had to take one look on Rukia to know that he could never do that to her. She loved Ichigo and now she had finally gotten him this far. And if Ichigo had no memory of the night, what was the point in ruining it all? This one-night-stand was nothing more then just that. "She will never know."
"If anyone has a reason why these two should not be wed, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."
"I will never tell. I can never tell."
No one spoke and Renji felt relived, but another feeling made itself noticed. For some reason he felt rejected and left alone. Suddenly there was a whole wave of different feelings and he was unable to sort them all out. There was a wish of being back in that room, alone with Ichigo. There was the feeling of hate, and then love. Friendship. Somewhere in the back of his mind was the image of him slowly strangling Ichigo, for doing this to Rukia. For doing this to him. For making him lie to his best friend. Then there were the memories of the night. His lips against Ichigo's. Ichigo's lips against his skin, burning invisible imprints on his body. The feeling of Ichigo's hands caressing him, touching every part of him. "If Rukia ever found out... it would break her, completely."
Renji tried to focus on the wedding, but his mind drifted away again. "What if last night was Ichigo's inner wish? What if he...? No! Last night was a mistake." Renji shook his head discreetly, in an attempt to shake of all the images. But it was an unsuccessful attempt. More memories made themselves remembered. The dance they had shared at the bar last night. The music and the feeling of Ichigo close to him, to his body. And he had only gotten closer after that. And it was like it all had happened in the blink of an eye. Suddenly they had been upstairs, in Ichigo's hotel room. Then they had kissed, and fought and kissed again. Renji had tried to escape, but then surrendered. Renji remembered how fast his clothes had been removed after he had surrendered to Ichigo. And how good it had felt to feel Ichigo's hands on his body. "What the hell am I thinking? It's not... I..." In his mind Renji cursed, but even that didn't wash away the thought of Ichigo. The thought of Ichigo's eyes looking at him, taking in every part of Renji into his mind.
"Do you, Kuchiki Rukia, take, Kurosaki Ichigo, to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I do."
Renji captured himself holding his breath. He exhaled slowly. "What's wrong with me? Everything will be fine." But a strange feeling was growing in his stomach. A feeling that something was wrong. He looked at Rukia and she was smiling. "Nothing is wrong. I'm just imagining things. My mind is playing games."
"And do you, Kurosaki Ichigo, take, Kuchiki Rukia, to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I... I can not do this."
Renji felt how his heart skipped a beat. As one the whole congregation gasped for air and the silence that followed was deafening. But it lasted only for about half a minute and then began countless of whispers all around the church. Rukia looked at Ichigo with fear in her eyes.
"Wh...at?"
"I'm sorry, Rukia, but... you deserve someone better than me."
"Better? But I... I want you..."
Her voice was not more than a whisper and tears were building up in her eyes.
"No, you don't. Trust me. If I told you... just trust me. I don't deserve you."
"Don't deserve me..."
She turned to her brother, with anger in her eyes.
"What did you say to him?!"
The usually expressionless face of Kuchiki Byakuya was now twisted in surprise of the sudden attack from his sister.
"Wha...?"
Ichigo grabbed Rukia's arm and spun her around.
"He hasn't said anything that could scare me of. He is not the culprit here. I'm speaking for myself. There are other reasons. Your brother is not one of them."
"What reasons?"
"I rather not talk about them here."
Despite of the tears falling, Rukia's eyes glowed with anger.
"Tell me. Now."
"Rukia please. Can we take this somewhere else? Somewhere where there's just you and me."
"No! I want you to tell me and everyone who have come here, why can't go through with this. They at least deserve to know why, since they are all here because of you."
"Rukia..."
"No! Tell me now! It was you who proposed to me! And now you're backing out?!"
Anger had really bested Rukia. She was screaming and her whole body was shaking. Though Renji wasn't sure that was out of anger. It could be the fact that she was crying too.
"Now, Ichigo! Today! Right here!"
"Rukia please..."
"I've already told you. NO! I want to hear it here and I want to hear it NOW! Can't you even be man enough to spell it out in front of all these people? They'll find out sooner or later anyway. Just spell it out!"
Ichigo went completely silent. Renji could tell that he was cornered. He also knew what this was about, and he really didn't want to discuss it right here either.
"Rukia maybe you should listen to..."
"Shut up, Renji! Unless you know what this is about, just shut up!"
Renji shrugged back. In the corner of his eyes he saw Ichigo take a deep breath.
"Alright Rukia. You really want to know why I can't marry you? No, why I don't deserve marrying you?"
Rukia fixed her eyes on Ichigo, as did everyone else. Again the silence was deafening. Renji's heart stopped. "No!"
"It's because last night I cheated on you! I slept with Renji and I realized that my feeling for you, were nothing but cover-up feelings for the ones I really have for him. Are you happy now? Or should I continue? Should I make this scene even more embarrassing for everyone involved? Should I speak of what happened in details? Do you want to hear that too?"
Slowly people started whispering again. Rukia looked at Ichigo and then at Renji.
"Is... is it... true? Renji, is it..."
"Fuck! She wasn't supposed to ever find out."
"I... I..."
"IS IT TRUE?!"
Now the stream of tears on Rukia's cheeks seemed endless.
"What do you think, Rukia?!"
Rukia turned to Ichigo, who just had spoken.
"Do you think that I would make up something like this, standing here, in front of everyone I know? All my friends, my family. Here? In the church?"
Rukia looked at Ichigo with her sad eyes and in her face showed a glint of disgust. Then she turned to Renji again.
"How could you? HOW COULD YOU?!"
Renji stepped toward her and reached out his hand. She pushed it away and backed away.
"I-I'm sorry, Rukia. I-I never meant for it to happen. I-I don't know what... I..."
Renji wasn't able to come up with what to say and went silent.
"You're sorry?! You're SORRY?! I hate you! I hate you both! I trusted you! I though you were my best friend, Renji! I TRUSTED YOU!"
"Rukia I'm so..."
"GO TO HELL! BOTH OF YOU! THAT'S THE ONLY PLACE WHERE YOU BELONG!"
With those words she escaped the room, with the tears still flowing down her cheeks. Renji followed her with his eyes and was just about to run after her, when Ichigo caught his arm.
"Renji..."
Renji pushed of Ichigo.
"Dammit Ichigo! You just couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?!"
He felt how the anger strengthened him, so it was easy to give in to it.
"No one would have ever known! But you had to tell!"
"I would have known. You would have known. I can't marry her if I love you, stupid. I can't be that dishonest. And after last night, when I realized that you felt the same way, I..."
"What?! Felt the same way? I don't! I absolutely don't!"
Ichigo shrugged back, surprised by Renji's answer.
"What? Then why did you...?"
"Why?! I was fuckin' drunk and you forced yourself upon me!"
"I did not!"
"Yes, you did! Last night was a mistake, and if I could I would make it so that it never happened."
"A mistake?"
Ichigo's eyes widened in fear and for some reason Renji felt awful. He wanted to stop, but it was like someone else was controlling his body.
"Congratulations Ichigo! You managed to ruin two lives in the period of 24 hours. Are you satisfied? Have you had enough fun?"
Renji turned and quickly walked away. He could feel the eyes of everyone following him, as he rushed down the aisle to follow Rukia. He had to find her. Had to talk with her.
"Renji! I love you! Please don't'... please say that you..."
Renji stopped in the doorway. For some reason his heart felt broken and tears were threatening to come out. For a moment he just stood there, reflecting over whether he had the strength to turn around and look at Ichigo. He came up with the conclusion that he didn't have the strength to do that.
"I don't love you Ichigo," he answered with his back still toward Ichigo.
Then he ran away with tears running down and the feeling that someone had torn out his heart. By the altar Ichigo fell to his knees, buried his face in his hands and cried. He didn't care that everyone was watching. It didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered.

End of chapter Two