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Ch.3; Ok To Be Gay


{{Gerard pov}}


Gerard became quickly worried when Frank wasn't in school. He knew why Frank was distant but he didn't want to let Frank knew he knew, afraid of what it might do. He told himself he shouldn't have gone that fast with Frank but they slipped quickly into the heat of the moment and things went farther than Gerard thought they would. He intended on making out with Frank, possibly the blow job, but somehow it ended up in him fucking Frank. Granted he had dreamed about it since Frank was amazingly hot and his best friend in the world, but he was afraid that he may have ruined his relationship with Frank not only as a potential boyfriend, but as a friend in general.

The reason Gerard had failed all those years was just to stay in school with Frank a little bit longer. But he would be twenty-one soon and he really had to leave his high school years to move on to college, even if it meant leaving Frank behind. Ray had failed along with Gerard because they were really good friends as well and Ray didn't want Gerard to be alone. Plus the two had fun being in high school even if they were a decent amount older than the other students. He didn't care about the age difference between him and Frank nor did he care about the laws that tried to prevent them from being together. Gerard was just better at hiding his true feelings then Frank was, which was what plagued Frank the previous day.

Since he really had no classes to attend, Gerard spent most of his time in the art room. The only class he had to get the credits for to pass was math and in a few months he would get his G.E.D and leave high school at long last. Staring at the paper in front of him, Gerard started drawing randomly on it until he ended up with a very crappy sketch of two bloody people kissing and he wrote 'revenge' under it since his mind was stuck in 'horror mode' as he drew. It often was in that gear when he drew. Drawing was one of Gerard's favorite things to do. Drawing and singing, but no one knew about the other one because it embarrassed him. Recently though, Gerard has felt like singing nonstop and he has to bite his tongue to prevent himself from doing so. He had no idea why he suddenly had the constant, nagging urge to sing, but it was starting to annoy him.

Gerard had skipped lunch so a little bit before the period ended, Ray showed up in the vacant art room with Gerard and sat next to him. "Hey." He greeted Ray with a smile.

"Hey. Why did you skip lunch? You know you need to eat." Ray asked. Everyone always told Gerard he was too thin but he ignored them.

"I didn't even realize it was lunch time." Gerard lied as he looked at his picture. "I just got caught up drawing."

"Is it because Frank didn't come to school today?" That was Ray's annoying habit. He could see through anyone's lies and wouldn't take bullshit from anyone.

"Partially." Gerard said as he went back to drawing. "But I really did get caught up with this." He examined his drawing to see if anything needed to be fixed or if it needed something added to it.

"Why don't you call him?" Ray suggested ignoring Gerard's comments about his drawing.

"Because I don't want to harass him." Gerard said sharply to him as he continued to draw. "And I don't want to sound like a pedophile." Ray laughed slightly as he watched Gerard sketch away.

"Mikey said he snapped at some girl who has a crush on him yesterday. He's probably just confused by everything."

"Who doesn't have a crush on him." Gerard said miserably and under his breath as he sketched. "He's the hottest fucking guy in this school. He can have anyone he wants so people will have to learn to deal with that."

"And he chooses you." Ray was starting to get on Gerard's nerves with the truth. "You remember being seventeen. It's not that easy. Especially when you have someone a little older than you, who you want, and who wants you, fucking you to let you know."

"That was a mistake." Gerard snapped at him. The lead on Gerard's pencil snapped from being forced into the paper with too much force so Gerard threw it across the room. "That fucked everything up between us."

"Then make it better. Talk to him. That's what he needs." Ray said standing up and leaving right before the bell rang. Ray was right though. Gerard skipped the rest of the day and decided to go to Frank's house. Throwing his sketchbook into the back, Gerard got in his car and drove to Frank's. He told Mrs. Iero that he had Frank's homework so she let him in with smile and told him that Frank was in his room.

Gerard went to Frank's room then knocked on the door before entering. Frank was passed out on his bed so Gerard went over to him and sat on the bed then carefully woke him up, trying not to scare him. "Frankie, we need to talk." He said quietly as Frank woke up.

"Gerard?" He said sleepily as he pulled himself out his dreams and into reality. "What are you doing here?"

"I skipped the rest of school to come talk to you."

"Do that and you'll never make it out!" Frank told him worryingly. Gerard shrugged his shoulders, not caring if he didn't graduate, just as long as he made things right with Frank. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Us." Gerard said sitting closer to Frank. "This." Hoping Frank wouldn't freak out, Gerard kissed Frank who gladly kissed him back. It relieved Gerard to know they weren't beyond the possibility of a relationship. "We need to figure it out."

"I want you Gee." Frank told him quietly. "It just seems so weird to want you though."

"I know what you mean because I feel the same way." Gerard told him running his hand through Frank's hair. "I've failed all these years just to stay in school so I could be closer to you."

"And because you suck at math." Frank said with a smile which made Gerard feel slightly better.

"That too. But I could have gone to summer school or something to graduate on time. I didn't because I didn't, I don't, want to leave you."

"But you have to. I won't graduate for another year and a half, which is too long for you to torture yourself with high school. You need to move onto college." Gerard could hear the pain in Frank's voice which stabbed Gerard and made him want to cry. Frank was right though. He couldn't spend anymore of his life in high school. He needed to go on. "Plus, it's not like you won't come home for visits. And you have my cell number."

"It won't be the same." Gerard told him with a lack of hope. Frank pulled Gerard's face to his and kissed him again.

"It hasn't been the same since you fucked me." Frank told him, staring into Gerard's eyes. "But we'll figure it out." At that moment Gerard fell in love with Frank all over again. He had always loved Frank but as they stared in each other's eyes Gerard realized that Frank understood and that they could actually pull it off. "You better go before my mom suspects something." He said kissing Gerard one more time. "We'll continue this this weekend."

Gerard smiled at Frank and left with joy knowing that they could still be together. He said good-bye to Mrs. Iero then headed out to his car and drove himself home where he found Mikey waiting for him in the living room. Mikey didn't ask him where he was or why he skipped school, but instead asked a question Gerard didn't think he would ever come out of Mikey's mouth.

"What's sex like with a man?"