Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > When Skies Are Gray
My Way Home Is Through You
2 reviewsFrank/Gee/Frank pov this is far as I've gotten in the story because I was told the plot isn't going anywhere; and I agree. It might not go past this; depends on if you ((my readers)) want it ...
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Ch.8; My Way Home Is Through You
{{Frank/Gee/Frank POV}}
Another day had come and gone without Gerard next to him. Frank couldn't figure out why Gerard suddenly stopped visiting him. All Frank thought was he pushed Gerard away somehow or made him change his mind by asking Gerard to sing. Gerard had an amazingly beautiful voice and Frank didn't understand why Gerard tried to hide it. All Frank knew was that each sunset took another piece of his heart with it.
He stared blankly out the window. They had finally taken Frank from the ICU and put him a regular room but each hour someone would check on him, especially since he was refusing pain medication. He rarely smiled anymore; especially not when Mikey and Bob came to visit him. Frank was happy they were getting by together, but seeing them hug and kiss made him think of Gerard. No one even mentioned Gerard around Frank because all it did was make Frank cry.
Frank refused to eat as well because it only made him want to throw up. He would throw up often from crying himself to sleep, because it was the only thing beside Gerard's voice that would get him there. His mother started getting really worried and antsy when she found out he wasn't accepting pain medication anymore. Frank's body screamed with pain but he told everyone the only way he would accept the drugs was if Gerard came back. Everyone would just remain silent when he told them that and they often would stare at the floor, change the subject, or suddenly have to leave. Frank told himself he deserved the pain because somehow he had driven Gerard away and believed he had to be punished for it. Every time he was flooded with immense pain, he would cry out and cringe, causing anyone around him to look away with horror. Sometimes he would scream so loud that the nurses had to turn their radio up to drown out his voice so they wouldn't start crying themselves. They all hated watching Frank torture himself but any time they would try to help, he would refuse it and tell them to just leave him alone.
Ray was visiting him as he had one of his pain waves. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut and cried out, arching his back slightly, tears running down his cheeks. "Frank! Take some goddamn medicine!" Ray yelled at Frank as he bit down so hard on his lip from all of the pain that his lip began to bleed. "Christ Frankie! Now you're bleeding!"He grabbed a damn towel and patted Frank's mouth until the blood ceased to leak out. Frank breathed heavily, relieved the pain went away, and he started to relax himself again. "Stop fucking hurting yourself!"
"No! I drove him away! I deserve to suffer!" Frank yelled as the sharp jolts of pain through his chest returned. Tears pouring from his eyes now, Frank clutched tightly to his side until he dug into it, causing more warm red blood to escape. Ray tried to clean that up too but Frank wouldn't let him. "Let me bleed! The blood in my veins travels with forgotten love. I don't need it anymore!" Frank screamed through the pain. His chest was on fire and he felt weighted down, unable to breathe, each inhale of air sending sharp pains through his lungs. His waist felt like it was slowly being ripped open, probably due to his new wounds, and to top it all off Frank's head seemed to have its own heart beat as it too joined in the pain parade.
"Fuck this! I can't take it anymore!" Ray yelled at Frank and stormed out of the room. Great job dumbass! You just drove away one of your best friends too! He abused himself mentally as he slowly regained his ability to breathe easier, the pain starting to subside. It was as though he was drowning in the waves. When one hit he fell under it but as it went away he was able to surface again, falling as soon as the next one crashed down on him.
"I'm so sorry Gerard!" He yelled as the next wave struck him. His vision began to blur and he felt like someone was tearing him slowly apart, limb by limb. His strength was quickly draining as he was given hardly any time to rest and regain it. Frank wanted the pain to go away but he didn't was to give in and accept the drugs, not when Gerard was no longer by his side to comfort him. "I'm so sorry."
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Another can of beer gone. Gerard threw it and listened to it clank against the others before it finally rested silently on the floor. It had been almost a month since Gerard was told to stay away from Frank. Since that night, Gerard had cut himself off from the world, drinking constantly, smoking whenever he wasn't drinking or sleeping, and not talking to anyone. He didn't answer his phone or his door, only leaving the couch to use the bathroom and the three or four times he had managed to convince himself to shower. Gerard kept the room dark, except for the glow of the television, drinking and smoking until he would pass out. He stopped going to his classes and had a friend bring him alcohol and cigarettes, leaving the money in a secret spot and collecting his goods at the front door the next morning.
Gerard was almost nothing but bones from not eating. He had no food to eat even if he wanted to. All his money went to his beer and cigarettes, not that he would have them much longer because he was just about out of money. Without money he wouldn't be able to pay rent either and would get kicked out causing him to go back to his parents or the cold streets. "To fucking everything up." Gerard said as he broke the seal on the last can of beer from his supply before guzzling it and throwing the can to the floor. He let his head fall against the couch as he stared at the ceiling.
"She's right." Gerard told himself as he lit a cigarette. It was the same thing he had told himself every day since that night. "You're no good you pathetic waste of breath! You would have only pulled Frank into your hole, destroying his life as well." A deep inhale of cancerous chemicals before Gerard criticized himself more. "Look at yourself! All you can do is smoke and drink!"
Suddenly Gerard's door flew open and Ray loomed over him. "Get your fucking ass up now and get it to the hospital to be with Frank!" He screamed furiously at Gerard. Gerard choked on his cigarette and sat up slightly.
"Ray, you know I can't. His moth-" Ray was the only one Gerard had told what happened before he secluded himself.
"Fuck his bitch mother!" Not listening to him, Ray ripped Gerard from the couch, causing Gerard's arm to twist.
"Ow! Ray you're hurting me!" Gerard had never seen Ray so angry before and he couldn't figure out why. He didn't know Ray was so strong either.
"Good!" Ray yelled and Gerard really thought Ray was going to kill him as his eyes raged. "I hope you feel more fucking pain than you can handle!"
"What are you talking about?" Gerard cried out as Ray's grip began to cut circulation from his arm.
"While you're wasting away in self-pity, Frank is fucking killing himself!"
Gerard stopped fighting Ray and stared at him in horror. "What?"
"He refuses to eat and he refuses to get pain medication. Instead, he cries out and screams so loud as the pain consumes him that it makes your skin crawl! He's even causing himself new wounds that he won't let anyone fix but rather let them bleed!" There was deep pain in Ray's voice along with the anger.
"W-why is he doing that to himself?"
"How fucking dense are you Gerard?!" Ray spat as he let sharply let go of Gerard's arm and got about two inches from his face. "He thinks he drove you away and refuses to accept help until you see him and tell him that you still love him!" Gerard's heart fell to his stomach. How the fuck could I do that to him?! I'm so stupid! Gerard yelled at himself as he cried from the pain in his arm and from the fear of Ray. "So get your fucking ass there and tell him before it goes too far!" Ray roared and Gerard quickly put his shoes on then left in a rush with Ray, stumbling a bit from being drunk, but he had to get to Frank as fast as he could.
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"God!" Frank cried out as he lay on his side, soaking his pillow in tears, his hand clenched around the bars on his bed. His whole body felt like it was on fire now and he had the sense that he needed to let blood flow from himself to make the pressure go away. As though someone had granted his thoughts, he felt his chest get wet as blood quickly soaked through the blankets. His scar had started profusely bleeding and it was quickly dousing his bed in the deep red liquid. This is it....this is the end....
"Frankie?!" Frank looked at his door and saw Gerard there, his face overwhelmed with terror. He ran to Frank, tears running down his face, and jumped into the bed, grabbing Frank and holding him close.
"Gerard?" Frank managed to whisper, slight joy and relief in his voice.
"Holy fuck Frankie! You're losing a lot of blood!" He told Frank as he noticed the white blankets quickly turning red. "Stop letting yourself suffer Frankie!" Ray rushed out of the room when he noticed all the blood and returned a moment later with a nurse who said they had to get Frank to surgery immediately. Gerard told Frank to focus on his voice and to stay awake until the nurse returned again, Frank finally agreeing to medication.
"Gerard, I'm so-"
"Shh!" Gerard told him softly as he cried into Frank's hair, kissing his head and telling him to stay awake. "None of this is your fault! Don't ever think that!" It felt amazing to be in Gerard's arms again as Frank fought to stay awake like Gerard asked him.
"I'm sorry I made you sing." He squeezed out, his body slowly going numb and he could feel himself shaking. Gerard repeated over and over to Frank to stay awake. He could barely make out the room but he noticed Ray had his face in his hands and he could hear muffled crying.
"I'm glad you did. I've never wanted to sing as much as I do when I'm around you." Frank managed a small smile as he trembled. "They're going to take you to surgery. You're losing too much blood." Gerard told Frank calmly through tears though Frank could tell there was a lot of fear in his voice.
"Will you sing for me one last time?"
"Of course." Frank could barely hear anything anymore but he did hear Gerard start to faintly sing something Frank had never heard before. "I'm trying, I'm trying to let you know how much you mean. As days fade, and nights grow cold..." Frank smiled as Gerard's voice faded and the last thing he heard was nurses yelling numbers before everything went silent and the room fell completely black. His pain was gone and he felt free.
{{Frank/Gee/Frank POV}}
Another day had come and gone without Gerard next to him. Frank couldn't figure out why Gerard suddenly stopped visiting him. All Frank thought was he pushed Gerard away somehow or made him change his mind by asking Gerard to sing. Gerard had an amazingly beautiful voice and Frank didn't understand why Gerard tried to hide it. All Frank knew was that each sunset took another piece of his heart with it.
He stared blankly out the window. They had finally taken Frank from the ICU and put him a regular room but each hour someone would check on him, especially since he was refusing pain medication. He rarely smiled anymore; especially not when Mikey and Bob came to visit him. Frank was happy they were getting by together, but seeing them hug and kiss made him think of Gerard. No one even mentioned Gerard around Frank because all it did was make Frank cry.
Frank refused to eat as well because it only made him want to throw up. He would throw up often from crying himself to sleep, because it was the only thing beside Gerard's voice that would get him there. His mother started getting really worried and antsy when she found out he wasn't accepting pain medication anymore. Frank's body screamed with pain but he told everyone the only way he would accept the drugs was if Gerard came back. Everyone would just remain silent when he told them that and they often would stare at the floor, change the subject, or suddenly have to leave. Frank told himself he deserved the pain because somehow he had driven Gerard away and believed he had to be punished for it. Every time he was flooded with immense pain, he would cry out and cringe, causing anyone around him to look away with horror. Sometimes he would scream so loud that the nurses had to turn their radio up to drown out his voice so they wouldn't start crying themselves. They all hated watching Frank torture himself but any time they would try to help, he would refuse it and tell them to just leave him alone.
Ray was visiting him as he had one of his pain waves. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut and cried out, arching his back slightly, tears running down his cheeks. "Frank! Take some goddamn medicine!" Ray yelled at Frank as he bit down so hard on his lip from all of the pain that his lip began to bleed. "Christ Frankie! Now you're bleeding!"He grabbed a damn towel and patted Frank's mouth until the blood ceased to leak out. Frank breathed heavily, relieved the pain went away, and he started to relax himself again. "Stop fucking hurting yourself!"
"No! I drove him away! I deserve to suffer!" Frank yelled as the sharp jolts of pain through his chest returned. Tears pouring from his eyes now, Frank clutched tightly to his side until he dug into it, causing more warm red blood to escape. Ray tried to clean that up too but Frank wouldn't let him. "Let me bleed! The blood in my veins travels with forgotten love. I don't need it anymore!" Frank screamed through the pain. His chest was on fire and he felt weighted down, unable to breathe, each inhale of air sending sharp pains through his lungs. His waist felt like it was slowly being ripped open, probably due to his new wounds, and to top it all off Frank's head seemed to have its own heart beat as it too joined in the pain parade.
"Fuck this! I can't take it anymore!" Ray yelled at Frank and stormed out of the room. Great job dumbass! You just drove away one of your best friends too! He abused himself mentally as he slowly regained his ability to breathe easier, the pain starting to subside. It was as though he was drowning in the waves. When one hit he fell under it but as it went away he was able to surface again, falling as soon as the next one crashed down on him.
"I'm so sorry Gerard!" He yelled as the next wave struck him. His vision began to blur and he felt like someone was tearing him slowly apart, limb by limb. His strength was quickly draining as he was given hardly any time to rest and regain it. Frank wanted the pain to go away but he didn't was to give in and accept the drugs, not when Gerard was no longer by his side to comfort him. "I'm so sorry."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another can of beer gone. Gerard threw it and listened to it clank against the others before it finally rested silently on the floor. It had been almost a month since Gerard was told to stay away from Frank. Since that night, Gerard had cut himself off from the world, drinking constantly, smoking whenever he wasn't drinking or sleeping, and not talking to anyone. He didn't answer his phone or his door, only leaving the couch to use the bathroom and the three or four times he had managed to convince himself to shower. Gerard kept the room dark, except for the glow of the television, drinking and smoking until he would pass out. He stopped going to his classes and had a friend bring him alcohol and cigarettes, leaving the money in a secret spot and collecting his goods at the front door the next morning.
Gerard was almost nothing but bones from not eating. He had no food to eat even if he wanted to. All his money went to his beer and cigarettes, not that he would have them much longer because he was just about out of money. Without money he wouldn't be able to pay rent either and would get kicked out causing him to go back to his parents or the cold streets. "To fucking everything up." Gerard said as he broke the seal on the last can of beer from his supply before guzzling it and throwing the can to the floor. He let his head fall against the couch as he stared at the ceiling.
"She's right." Gerard told himself as he lit a cigarette. It was the same thing he had told himself every day since that night. "You're no good you pathetic waste of breath! You would have only pulled Frank into your hole, destroying his life as well." A deep inhale of cancerous chemicals before Gerard criticized himself more. "Look at yourself! All you can do is smoke and drink!"
Suddenly Gerard's door flew open and Ray loomed over him. "Get your fucking ass up now and get it to the hospital to be with Frank!" He screamed furiously at Gerard. Gerard choked on his cigarette and sat up slightly.
"Ray, you know I can't. His moth-" Ray was the only one Gerard had told what happened before he secluded himself.
"Fuck his bitch mother!" Not listening to him, Ray ripped Gerard from the couch, causing Gerard's arm to twist.
"Ow! Ray you're hurting me!" Gerard had never seen Ray so angry before and he couldn't figure out why. He didn't know Ray was so strong either.
"Good!" Ray yelled and Gerard really thought Ray was going to kill him as his eyes raged. "I hope you feel more fucking pain than you can handle!"
"What are you talking about?" Gerard cried out as Ray's grip began to cut circulation from his arm.
"While you're wasting away in self-pity, Frank is fucking killing himself!"
Gerard stopped fighting Ray and stared at him in horror. "What?"
"He refuses to eat and he refuses to get pain medication. Instead, he cries out and screams so loud as the pain consumes him that it makes your skin crawl! He's even causing himself new wounds that he won't let anyone fix but rather let them bleed!" There was deep pain in Ray's voice along with the anger.
"W-why is he doing that to himself?"
"How fucking dense are you Gerard?!" Ray spat as he let sharply let go of Gerard's arm and got about two inches from his face. "He thinks he drove you away and refuses to accept help until you see him and tell him that you still love him!" Gerard's heart fell to his stomach. How the fuck could I do that to him?! I'm so stupid! Gerard yelled at himself as he cried from the pain in his arm and from the fear of Ray. "So get your fucking ass there and tell him before it goes too far!" Ray roared and Gerard quickly put his shoes on then left in a rush with Ray, stumbling a bit from being drunk, but he had to get to Frank as fast as he could.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
"God!" Frank cried out as he lay on his side, soaking his pillow in tears, his hand clenched around the bars on his bed. His whole body felt like it was on fire now and he had the sense that he needed to let blood flow from himself to make the pressure go away. As though someone had granted his thoughts, he felt his chest get wet as blood quickly soaked through the blankets. His scar had started profusely bleeding and it was quickly dousing his bed in the deep red liquid. This is it....this is the end....
"Frankie?!" Frank looked at his door and saw Gerard there, his face overwhelmed with terror. He ran to Frank, tears running down his face, and jumped into the bed, grabbing Frank and holding him close.
"Gerard?" Frank managed to whisper, slight joy and relief in his voice.
"Holy fuck Frankie! You're losing a lot of blood!" He told Frank as he noticed the white blankets quickly turning red. "Stop letting yourself suffer Frankie!" Ray rushed out of the room when he noticed all the blood and returned a moment later with a nurse who said they had to get Frank to surgery immediately. Gerard told Frank to focus on his voice and to stay awake until the nurse returned again, Frank finally agreeing to medication.
"Gerard, I'm so-"
"Shh!" Gerard told him softly as he cried into Frank's hair, kissing his head and telling him to stay awake. "None of this is your fault! Don't ever think that!" It felt amazing to be in Gerard's arms again as Frank fought to stay awake like Gerard asked him.
"I'm sorry I made you sing." He squeezed out, his body slowly going numb and he could feel himself shaking. Gerard repeated over and over to Frank to stay awake. He could barely make out the room but he noticed Ray had his face in his hands and he could hear muffled crying.
"I'm glad you did. I've never wanted to sing as much as I do when I'm around you." Frank managed a small smile as he trembled. "They're going to take you to surgery. You're losing too much blood." Gerard told Frank calmly through tears though Frank could tell there was a lot of fear in his voice.
"Will you sing for me one last time?"
"Of course." Frank could barely hear anything anymore but he did hear Gerard start to faintly sing something Frank had never heard before. "I'm trying, I'm trying to let you know how much you mean. As days fade, and nights grow cold..." Frank smiled as Gerard's voice faded and the last thing he heard was nurses yelling numbers before everything went silent and the room fell completely black. His pain was gone and he felt free.
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