FicWad

Ch.13; Just Hold Me Tight


{{Frank/Gee/Frank}}


A slight breeze brushed over Frank and he opened his eyes to find himself at a crossroad. One path lead to warm light, the other to darkness. This time however, the darkness remained silent and cold. He stood at the joining points of the paths, carefully examining each path, knowing the darkness brought him back to life last time he was in the situation. Only he didn't really want to be alive anymore. Gerard had Frank's heart and Gerard chose to throw it aside to move on so Frank figured he should move on too. Obviously life wasn't too important since he kept watching the ledge of death.

Before deciding, Frank stared down the path to darkness, pleading that Gerard's voice would flow out. It was as quiet as ever so Frank took a deep breath and said good-bye to the darkness, to life, and headed towards the warm light. As Frank drew closer, he felt happy and could hear the peaceful sounds of running water. Someone appeared before Frank with a smile and reached a hand to him. "Welcome." the person said and Frank took the hand which lead him into the warm bright light.

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"I didn't ask you to talk because I wanted to discuss singing." Bert said leaning close to Gerard. "I did it to get closer to you."

"I figured." Gerard said with a smile. "That's why I said 'yes'." Bert smiled and put his hand on Gerard's thigh as he got a little closer to him.

"Well I see something, I go for it." He said to Gerard as he pressed his lips to Gerard's. Bert's lips weren't soft and sweet like Franks but they weren't terrible either. Gerard's phone started ringing so he pressed the button on the side of the phone to send the call to voicemail without pulling away from Bert. "I hope there's no one else I might get you in trouble with."

"Not anymore." Gerard said pulling Bert's face back to his and kissed him again.

"Good." Bert put his arms around Gerard's neck to hold their faces close. "Because I don't share well." Gerard's phone started ringing again so he pulled away from Bert and looked at it to see 'Mikey' dancing across the screen. He flipped the phone open to answer it, figuring Mikey wouldn't give up until he did.

"What?" He said aggravated into the phone.

"You finally decided to answer!" Mikey snapped right back.

"I'm a little busy Mikey so if you don't need-"

"It's Frank." Gerard stopped and fell silent. "We're at the hospital."

"What's wrong?" He became quiet and afraid. Frank didn't go well with hospitals since he almost died twice in one over the past year.

"They don't know." Mikey became silent as well. "He's being kept alive with machines but they doubt he'll make it this time." Gerard could hear the pain in Mikey's voice and Gerard's head became heavy with regret while his heart filled with agony.

"I'll be there as soon as I find a way to get there." He said quietly. Bert looked at Gerard with confusion as he got up and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'll come get you." Mikey hung up and Gerard shut his phone and put it in his pocket.

"Everything ok?" Bert asked and Gerard shook his head to Bert who stood up and went to hug Gerard but Gerard pulled away.

"I'm sorry Bert but I can't." He said quietly.

"Why not?"

"My heart belongs to someone else." Gerard headed for the door to wake for Mikey.

"Who?" Bert asked slightly angered.

"Frankie." Gerard told him opening the door. "My sunshine." He shut the door and wiped away a few escaped tears as he made his way to the exit. There was a slight breeze and chills ran up Gerard's spine while strands of black hair flew into his face. He hated himself for letting Frank go.

"So you're leaving an opportunity with me to go with your pint size guitarist?" Bert started after Gerard. "He can't even keep himself from hospitals I've heard." Gerard flew around and put a hand around Bert's throat, slamming him against a wall, his eyes full of rage.

"Don't you fucking open your mouth about Frank!" He yelled. "He is more of a man than you'll ever hope to be!" Gerard threw Bert to the ground.

"Don't be surprised when he breaks your heart." Bert mumbled.

"You have five seconds to get out of my sight before I break your fucking face!" Bert got up and went quickly inside while Gerard glared at him, his hands tightly clenched into fists. A few moments later Mikey pulled up and Gerard got into the van with a heavy sigh.

"Hey." Mikey said as he handed Gerard a cup of coffee and began to drive away. "You'll need it."

"Thanks." Gerard said quietly as he drank the coffee. He felt like puking when Mikey pulled into the all too familiar parking lot. They got out and headed to the ICU waiting room to meet Bob and Ray. Gerard sat next to Ray while Mikey sat on Bob's lap, putting his arms around Bob's neck and leaning his head on Bob's shoulder. Bob put his arms around Mikey's waist and held him close as the two sat together in silence while Ray stared at the floor. Gerard figured he would break the silence.

"How is he?"

"Stable." Ray mumbled. "But that's the machines keeping him alive." A tear or two ran down Ray's face as he stared at the floor. "You're a fucking asshole Gerard."

"I know." He said leaning down in his chair.

"He was fine until you left with Bert." Bob said, Mikey's hair getting in his way.

"No he wasn't." Ray said turning his attention to Bob. "He hasn't been ok since he left Gerard to come stay with me." Gerard's stomach tightened. "Each night I would hear him play 'You Are My Sunshine' on his guitar in his room then cry himself to sleep."

"I didn't think he wanted to get back together with me since he would avoid me at rehearsals and everything." Gerard said shutting his eyes and leaning his head back.

"He was waiting for you to come and apologize." Ray turned to Gerard.

"I wanted to say so much to him but I never could find the words."

"Now's your chance." Mikey said looking to his brother. "Say it before it's too late." Gerard sighed and stood with a nod. He knew he would have to apologize to Frank before the plug was pulled because the decision rested with his mother and they all knew that she wouldn't keep him alive by machinery. Gerard asked a nurse where Frank was and the nurse showed him. Before he could go into the room though he had to put on a mask and gloves because Frank was weak so the doctors didn't want him to contract anything.

The sight of Frank made Gerard want to turn and leave but he knew he had to stay. Frank's skin was so pale he almost blended in with the blankets and sheets. He had a tube going down his throat and his lips were a pale purplish color. Gerard walked to Frank and picked up his hands, chills shooting through Gerard from shock due to how cold Frank's hand was. Gerard sat next to Frank and ran his hand through Frank's hair. "Hey Frankie." He whispered. "You fucking killed tonight." Their show was everything they expected and more.

"I don't know where to begin so I'm going to do the best I can." Gerard took his mask off and let it dangle around his neck. "I'm so sorry I hurt you. I'll never forgive myself for hurting you." He ran his hand down Frank's icy face. Gerard glanced at Frank's heart monitor and winced when he saw the number was dangerously low. "Come on Frankie. I know you're strong enough to pull yourself back." A few tears rolled down his face and onto Frank's hand. "I know you can hear me." Gerard found himself pleading with the unresponsive body. "I'm lost without you." Frank remained motionless so Gerard let go of Frank's hand and wiped his eyes, believing Frank really was gone.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you." Gerard stood and kissed Frank. "I'll never forget you Frankie." He said as he headed for the door, trying not to cry in front of the staff.

Gerard went back to the waiting room to sit with Ray, Bob, and Mikey until the final decision was made. Nobody spoke as they sat and waited in silence until Frank's mom showed up. She sat with Frank for awhile then went to the waiting room. "I always told myself that Frank would get over you." she said to Gerard. "I thought it would be hard on him with someone who was older." She stared into Gerard's eyes. "I was wrong. I've never seen Frank as happy as he was when he was with you." Gerard smiled slightly and she returned it. "Please don't give up. I can't bring myself to do it. I believe he can still make it but only if you don't give up." She looked to everyone. "If none of you give up. Frank always talked about you all with such admiration." Mikey smiled slightly and Ray gave a slight laugh. "If you really think it's hopeless, I'll give the word to end it." She said good-bye and left.

"You have to do it." Bob said to Gerard. "Your love will bring him back."

"How do-"

"It did last time." Ray said quietly.

"And Frank loves you more than anything else. I could see the pain in his eyes when you put an arm around Bert and left." Mikey said quietly as Bob rubbed his shoulder. "I could feel the pain."

"So get your ass there and try again!" Ray said harshly and Gerard opened his mouth to protest but shut it when Ray glared at him. He stood up and went back to Frank who remained as still as before.

"If you leave me Frank, my singing will leave me too." He said with a sigh as he took Frank's hand again. "I was always afraid to sing in public until that amazingly wonderful Friday night. Since then, being around you, I've wanted to sing until I lose my voice." Frank's body remained unresponsive still so Gerard decided that he didn't give a fuck what the hospital said as he climbed into the bed and lifted Frank up then laid him gently back down, Frank's head on Gerard's chest. "Hear that? My heart would stop if you left me." Gerard put his arms around Frank, careful not to disturb he tubes sticking into his body, and held him close. He rubbed Frank's arms in an attempt to warm his body up while he hummed the tune of 'demolition lovers'.

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"What's wrong Frank?" Frank lifted his head to the pale girl next to him.

"What?" He asked blankly.

You're just staring at the ground like you're upset."

"I'm sorry Dahlia." Frank said looking into her eyes. "I just have this strange feeling." Frank put his hand over his heart. "Like something is pulling at me."

"Do you know what it means?" Frank shook his head. "It means someone is pulling you back to them. They're not giving up and you can feel them through a connection of strong, true love." She spoke softly and Frank stared at her.

"You mean I'm not dead?" Dahlia smiled and shook her head.

"Not fully." Frank became greatly confused. "Your soul left your body but your body is still alive. As long as your body stays alive, you can feel the connections of hope and love." She continued to smile though Frank was lost.

"So where exactly are we?" He asked. They were in a peaceful garden like place with a small brook flowing through it.

"Most people know it as Eden." Dahlia told him, taking a deep breath in and exhaling with a smile. "Souls come here before they're escorted to Heaven."

"So you're an angel?" Frank always pictured angels with halo's and wings but Dahlia looked like a ordinary girl. She nodded and Frank looked to the ground. "Why do I feel this 'love' connection? No one really loves me."

"Gerard does." Frank looked at her and she just smiled. "Because he's not giving up on you, you can feel the pure love has for you." Dahlia got a little closer to Frank. "Close your eyes." She whispered and Frank did. "Listen." Frank didn't hear anything other than the brook but then a very quiet thumping noise became distinct. "Hear that?"

"What is it?" He asked concentrating heavily on it.

"Gerard's heart." The rhythmic thumping became louder and Frank could recognize it as the noise he loved to fall asleep to when he was in Gerard's arms.

"I want to go back to him." Frank said, a few tears falling to the ground. "I don't want to die."

"If you leave now, you won't be able to get into Heaven again." She warned him.

"A Heaven without Gerard is worse than an eternity in Hell." He opened his eyes and Dahlia looked at him with slight sorrow but nodded in understanding.

"Then come with me." She stood up and extended a hand to Frank, pulling him up. Dahlia led him along the brook to a large golden gate then pulled the gates open. "Once you exit, you can't ever get back in." Frank nodded. "Take care." Dahlia hugged Frank tightly.

"You too." He hugged Dahlia back. "Thank you for everything." Dahlia nodded and waved as Frank stepped through the gates into a cloudy haze. When Frank turned to wave, he saw nothing behind him.

Suddenly Frank felt like he was being closed in. There was a great amount of pressure pushing down on him and he closed his eyes, losing the ability to breathe. Frank fell to the ground and put his hands around his neck as he suffocated. His eyes fell shut and everything went black as he felt as though he was being crammed into a box. It only lasted for a moment when the pressure suddenly went away and he felt air shoot through him. "Frankie!"

Frank opened his eyes and found himself in the very familiar hospital setting. He lifted his head slightly and realized he was laying on Gerard. There was a tube in his mouth, going down his throat and preventing him from speaking. Gerard started to cry slightly as he held Frank tightly so Frank laid his head back on Gerard's chest and shut his eyes, crying into Gerard's shirt. "I love you so much Frankie!" Frank nodded weakly. He felt like his body was nonexistent as he was unable to really move at all. "I'm so sorry I let you forget that!" He kissed the top of Frank's head. "Don't leave me please." Frank shook his head a little before losing the ability to stay awake, the rhythmic beating of Gerard's heart surrounding him.