Categories > Original > Drama > Escaping Reality
Chapter Eight
"Do I look okay?" I asked Quinn as we stepped out of the taxi. We were going to our first music industry party, and I had to admit I was excited. I didn't know what to expect from it. The party was being held at Adam's house celebrating the band getting signed. There was going to be a lot of people from the music industry there so the band were really nervous about meeting all these new people that they had to make good impressions on.
"Beautiful, as always," Quinn said kissing my forehead, and taking my hand as we stood at the door with Blake, Aaron, Connor and Kyle.
"Hey guys! Come on in!" Adam, said as he opened the door. "I take it you're Kate?"
I nodded, and shook his hand.
"Nice to meet you, I've heard a lot about you. Well done for sticking with this lot through everything," he winked.
We followed him through the entrance hall and into the living room, it was huge. Ijust kept looking around the room in awe. The walls were white with modern art all over them, and furniture to match it. I'd only dreamt of going to houses as stunning as this, it had to be worth a fortune.
"This place is amazing," I whispered to Quinn.
"I know, we'll be living somewhere like this one day, baby," he whispered back.
Over the last few days Quinn had been really optimistic about his future, talking about all the things we could have when he was rich and famous. I guessed now that things were happening he knew he could afford to be more positive, it didn't look like much could go wrong now. We'd been through the worst of it and now we had come out the other side, and we couldn't have been happier. Ibelieved everything he said about our future, because now, being in this house with all these people I felt like it really could happen. And I couldn't wait for it.
"Here, you guys grab a drink," Adam said opening a fridge full of alcohol.
We all took one and Adam led us outside. The sun had set and the warm temperature had gone with it, there were several gas fires placed around the enormous courtyard so people could sit outside and still enjoy their night. We sat ourselves down on the beautiful exterior furniture. For a couple of hours I just sat with the band. Heaps of people came up to congratulate them on the signing and introduce themselves. Every now and again I would say something to add to the conversation, but I preferred to just listen. I never really was the type to crave on being the centre of attention. So it was nice just to sit there, and meet new people who held the same interests as us. I hadn't seen any famous people. I assumed most of the people here worked for record labels, or music management. The guys and I had decided not to have much to drink at this party, because we had to make the best impressions we could, so we were still on our first drink when I noticed alot of people had gathered outside.
I looked inside to see that the party certainly had grown, the inside of the house was full of people and I could hear loud music blearing through the open windows. I noticed that at least twenty people had moved chairs closer to the big glass table that we were sitting near. I didn't really take any notice of it, I guessed they were bringing some food out or something. An older man came and sat down next to us. He introduced himself to Quinn and they chatted away for a little while.
I watched as the man picked up the bag next to him and set up a small piece of tinfoil on the table in front of him. He put a dark substance on the foil, occasionally glancing over his shoulder. He got a small bundle of straws out of his jacket and turned to Quinn.
"Tried this before?" he asked calmly.
Quinn, who was smoking a cigarette and watching the man, just shook his head. I didn't know exactly what it was, but I suddenly felt very uncomfortable knowing that people were going to be taking drugs in front of it and I assumed they were going to offer it to us. I looked over at Aaron, who had also realized what was going on. Aaron just looked at me and shrugged, he didn't seem to be as bothered by it like I was. I couldn't just get up and leave, although I was sure Quinn didn't want to be doing this either. Quinn had promised me that he would never take any drugs, and I took comfort in that at the time.
"Uh, your little lady might want to leave," the man said to Quinn, nodding in my direction after seeing the expression on my face.
"I'm a big girl," I bit back before Quinn had the chance to answer, and then I whispered to Quinn, "What is it?"
He just shook his head and stubbed out his cigarette. I watched as the man put one of the straws in his mouth and ignited the lighter underneath the tinfoil, smoke rose and the man inhaled it. He then looked over at Quinn and handed him one of the straws.
"There you go," he said and sat back down.
I felt certain that Quinn would politely decline it, but to my horror he took it and moved closer to the table. I didn't know what to do, I felt so let down by him. I got up from my seat and walked towards the house, not looking back. I didn't want to see him doing it.
"She didn't look like she wanted any," I heard the man snicker.
I set off to find a bathroom, I needed to go somewhere and get my thoughts straight I couldn't believe what I had just seen. I bumped into Adam on my way.
"Hey, how's it going outside?" he asked me cheerfully.
I wondered if he knew what they were doing out there. I didn't bring it up just in case.
"It's great," I lied, "I was just wondering where your bathroom is?" my voice sounded distant, but thankfully he didn't seem to pick up on it.
"Follow me," he said and showed me to the bathroom.
I thanked him and went in, locking the door behind me. I leaned over the sink and tried to go over in my head what had just happened. I was so sure that Quinn wouldn't have taken the offer. But he had. What was he thinking? I understood that he just wanted to be liked in the industry and get to know as many people as he could. The people you knew was a huge thing in the music industry, but that didn't mean he needed to take drugs just to fit in. I assumed that's why he had done it. It was the only reasonable explanation Icould think of. I had only just come to terms with the smoking surely he wouldn't go any further. I hadn't been happy at the time I had found out about the marijuana, but this was just taking it too far. I remembered the conversation I'd had with him just over a month ago. "I'm not stupid. I won't. Believe me." He had said when I realized the increasing number of cigarettes he'd started to take. I had believed him. I had to convince myself now that this was just a one off, he was doing it just this once, and he wouldn't do it again. He hadn't been expecting the offer. I didn't know a lot about drugs, and for all I knew this may not have been a serious drug, not a dangerous drug. Was there even such a thing as a drug that wasn't dangerous? I didn't know but I needed a way to convince myself that it was all going to be fine so I told myself this over and over again hoping to get it into my head.
In the end I calmed myself down. I had been in there for nearly twenty minutes. I walked out of the bathroom and decided to call a taxi. If no one else wanted to leave, that was fine, but I wasn't going to hang around. Adam was talking to someone outside, and I noticed the table was now clear. I wondered if they had hidden it from him, not wanting him to know, or if he'd had some too. I looked at Blake, Kyle, Aaron and Connor and wondered if they had taken some. I couldn't notice anything different about them in the dim lighting, not that I knew what I should be looking for. I stood behind Quinn who was still talking to the man and tapped him on the shoulder, but he didn't turn around so I sat down beside him.
"I've called a taxi. Are you coming?" I asked, hoping he'd agree to come home.
"Yeah, I'm pretty tired," he said with a sigh.
He stood up and we went to say goodbye to Adam. The other guys also got up and we walked down the drive and got into the taxi which was already waiting. We were all going back to Blake's house. I'd already told my parents where I was staying. I had learnt that lesson from the last time.
"Man I'm tired," Quinn said, putting his arm around me and leaning his chin on the top of my head.
I didn't say anything, even though I tried not to show it I was upset by his decision tonight.
- - -
It didn't take long to get back to Blake's house.
"I'm going straight to bed," Quinn said. His skin was pale and he could barely keep his eyes open, "When are you coming to bed?"
"I'll be in soon, I've just got to do something first," I said to him and followed the other guys into the living room. I sat down and looked round at them, none of them seemed to be effected like Quinn had been.
"Did you guys take that stuff?" I asked, hoping that they'd kept their sense and hadn't.
"No, after you left Quinn took some and then a couple of others had it. This guy was about to pass it to me, but the man who had got it out said we had to hide it because Adam was coming, and he doesn't like drugs being taken at his house or something," Aaron explained.
So that answered my question about Adam, "Do you know what it was?"
"I think I heard someone say it was heroin, didn't they?" Kyle said, asking Connor who was next to him.
I frowned, I didn't know anything about drugs, but Ithought that heroin was a pretty heavy drug.
"Yeah, that's what someone told me," Connor confirmed.
"Do you guys know anything about it?" I asked them, worrying about Quinn.
"No...but Kate, don't worry, he'll be fine. We'll see how he is in the morning," Blake tried to assure me.
I nodded, but I wasn't happy with this at all. And how could I not worry? To me, this sounded pretty serious.
"What happened after he took it?" I asked.
Part of me wished I had stayed but in the end I knew I had made the right decision to leave while it had been going on.
"I didn't really notice anything to be honest. He just seemed normal, by the time you came out he was quite tired and at one stage I thought he was going to fall asleep, but he seemed to carry on as he was before," Aaron said to me, trying to remember.
That gave me a little bit of hope. Maybe he hadn't taken enough so it hadn't really affected him. I hoped that was the case.
"Interesting, thanks guys. I'll have a talk to him about it tomorrow. You guys have a pretty big week next week, writing songs?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood before I went off to bed.
"Yeah, it's all go next week," Aaron said, obviously looking forward to it.
I said goodnight to them and went to the spare bedroom where Quinn was already fast asleep. I hopped into bed beside him and tried to gather my thoughts. It was not good, not good at all. Heroin. It was even worse than I had thought. I couldn't do anything about it now though. I just had to hope that when I woke the next morning Quinn would regret taking it, and promise me he wouldn't take it again. I'm sure he would.
- - -
"We need to talk about last night," I confronted Quinn the following afternoon.
I was at the kitchen table and Quinn was leaning over the sink. He didn't look well but I couldn't help think, Well it's your own fault. He'd thrown up once that morning already, and as we'd only had one drink I knew it wasn't because of alcohol.
"What about it?" he asked not looking up from the sink.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about! Taking heroin ring any bells?" I said, my voice rising slightly.
It made me laugh that he even tried to pretend it didn't happen. I wasn't letting him get away with it, I couldn't ignore it. I wanted him to explain to me what the hell he had been thinking.
"Oh, that," he mumbled, still not looking at me.
"Yes, that. Did you know what it was when you were taking it?" I asked, and then added, "Tell me the truth."
"Yeah, I knew," he confessed.
I hadn't expected him to say that, I thought he had just taken it, not knowing what it was, "Why didn't you tell me when I asked at the time?"
"I didn't want you to make a scene."
"I wouldn't have. Why did you take it anyway?" I asked him, trying my hardest to understand it from his point of view.
I wouldn't have made a scene, I didn't need that as my first impression for all of those people. I probably would have tried to convince him not to take it, which I should have done in the first place. But instead, like usual, I just stood by and let him do it. That was going to have to stop soon.
"Just to try, and I couldn't really say no could I? That guy is really well-known in the industry, he's going to produce our album," he said, grabbing a glass from the cupboard above his head and filling it with water.
"Of course you could have said no. Quinn, I remember you promising me you'd never take drugs," I said, my voice sounding defeated.
"I wasn't looking forward to the guys spending time with that man, he was bound to offer it to them again, especially now Quinn had taken it with him once before.
"I know," he said, taking a sip of water, "I promise you I won't do it again."
"How do I know you'll keep your promise this time?" I asked, even though I knew he was telling the truth this time, I could hear it in his voice.
"Because hon, I mean it. I won't do it again," he looked me in the eyes as he said this, and whispered, "believe me, please."
"Okay,"I whispered back after a short pause, I couldn't speak for the look on his face. He truly was sorry and I could see that now. I was relieved we had come to an agreement without it, and we hadn't even had an argument.
"I'm going outside for a smoke," Quinn said and walked past me.
I noticed how pale he looked. I got up to follow him outside when Blake came down the hall and asked me to talk to him for a second.
"Did you talk to him about it?"
"Yeah, he told me he won't do it again, and that he's sorry."
"Oh that's good," Blake said, also relieved.
I walked outside with Blake and sat down with the rest of the guys while they made plans for the week. They were all staying on at school so they arranged their plans for after school hours to get working on their song writing.
"Right, I'll be back soon. I'm out of smokes so I'm meeting Sam at the shop down the road," Quinn said, checking a text on his phone and standing up.
Once I heard the click of the front door shutting I told the guys all about our conversation this morning. I explained there was absolutely nothing to worry about, that he had regretted taking it last night and he seemed to be perfectly fine today. Well he was a little sick, but it just seemed like a hangover, nothing major. I asked Aaron why he was going to take it. He would have, if Adam hadn't gone outside.
"I'm not sure. I guess I just wanted to try it. I didn't know it was heroin though. I don't know what I thought it was. I didn't feel like I could have said no either," he admitted.
I told them that's what Quinn had said and then asked the others, "Would you guys have taken it, if Adam hadn't walked out there?"
They all agreed that they would have. I was appalled. That was shocking, not one of them would have said no, and all for the same reason. In the end I made them promise me they wouldn't take any drugs, no matter what they were or who was giving them out. In the end they all promised me, and I felt much better again. As long as they kept their promises, and I knew I could trust them, we wouldn't have to worry about it again. We'd had our experience with drug already, and I was glad that we had got it out of the way without it turning into anything serious.
- - -
"What'd your dad say when you told him you got signed?" I asked Quinn a couple of days later.
They had been so busy writing songs because they only had a few weeks to complete ten songs for their album, they were being pushed to get the album out. One of the rules from the record company had been that they could only have ten songs. That was good in a way for the band since they had such a limited time to get it released. Already they had come up with seven songs that they really liked. Quinn had come over to my house after writing at Blake's all afternoon.
"Oh, the usual, Dad didn't think it was anything special. In fact it just turned into another argument. I can't live there anymore Kate, he's such an asshole,"Quinn said, angrily, "I'm going to look for a flat, I think."
"You might be able to stay here," I suggested. Remembering my mom had told me that if he had nowhere else to go he could live with us. It was a better idea than living in some dodgy flat on the bad side of town. I didn't want him living anywhere like that.
"Thanks. But I think Aaron is looking at flatting too, so I'll have a talk to him first," he said, it seemed he'd been thinking about this for a while now.
"How are you going to afford rent?" I asked. It wasn't like he was getting paid yet.
"I'll be raking in the money soon," he laughed, but I could tell that was a worry on his mind too.
"Well I'm sure you'll sort it out," I said trying to comfort him. Everything else had been sorting itself out recently, so why should it stop there.
- - -
"What are you doing here?" I asked Quinn as he climbed through my window a couple of days later in the middle of the night.
"He fucking kicked me out," he said angrily.
"Why? What happened?" I asked slouching back on my bed.
These midnight wake-up calls were becoming more and more frequent and I was tired. The work load at school was tougher than ever before with only a few more months to go.
"Did you get the letter from school today about your grades?" he asked.
"Yes,"I said, unsure why he was changing the subject.
I had gotten the letter about my grades. It was a mixture of A's and B's, but I was happy with that and so were my parents.
"Yeah well, mine weren't so good. Apparently C's aren't acceptable to my father," he said.
I knew Quinn's grades would start dropping now that he had to focus so much on writing and the band. I also could imagine how his father had reacted, even though he wasn't failing, yet.
"I had just told him about getting signed and getting onto making our album and when he saw the letter he started yelling at me. Telling me I had let the whole family name down. He said that my brothers had done so much to be proud of, and I had done nothing. He said I was going to become a drop out musician not being able to afford my next meal."
Quinn sat down on the floor and looked up at me. He was always good at hiding his emotions, but they showed tonight.
"You know that's not true," I told him, "look at what you've done? You worked really hard with your band, and now you're living the start of your dream. Quinn, you're going to release an album!" I said. Surely he had to see this side of it.
"I know that, but why can't he see it like that? It's like everything I do is set up for failure in his eyes," he said and leaned back against my bookshelf, crossing his arms.
"Look, I told you that you can stay here if you need to. Mom said she's okay with it,"I told him, hoping my parents would let him.
"Thanks, I'm actually going to stay at Blake's though. Until Aaron gets his act together and we can get a flat. Can I stay here tonight though?" he asked.
"Of course," I smiled.
Staying at Blake's was a better idea than staying here. One reason was my parents and the other was because they would be able to get a lot more song writing done.
Quinn refused to speak to his father after that. Every time he needed something from the house he would specifically wait until he knew no one was home. No matter what I said, I couldn't persuade him to talk to him. So in the end I gave up, there was nothing else for me to do, he'd made up his mind. All of the guys were considering flatting together now, and they were going to start looking for a place soon. They hoped to find somewhere within the next few weeks. It was a good idea for them to all flat together. It would make the rent more bearable for all of them. Although I knew Quinn was going to have trouble paying for it without the allowance from his father. The smokes would also be hard to get without the money. The next few weeks could be very difficult.
- - -
"I've just got to go and get some smokes," Quinn said when I was around at Blake's house after school only a couple of days after he had been kicked out. He still had a little bit of money left, but it was quickly running out. Thankfully, Blake got enough allowance for the both of them and he would give Quinn money for anything he needed.
"He's been smoking even more lately, that's the second pack in the last three days,"Blake noted as Quinn left.
That was excessive, even for Quinn. But I didn't think anything of it, if he wanted to spend the little money he had on smokes, then it was his choice.
"I don't even want to think about it," I said, and changed the subject, "how is the songwriting going?"
I hadn't gotten to see a lot of the guys lately as they had used every minute of their spare time coming up with new material for their album.
"Well, we're struggling a little bit," Blake admitted, "We've got the ten songs but Adam says only half of them are actually album ready right now. He's getting someone to meet with us on Friday, to help us out a bit. We've only got one more week to have all ten songs complete and ready for the album. We're all stressing out about it."
"Well good luck meeting with them," I said.
This had to work out for them. I had a good feeling about it, and if most of my past experiences with good feelings were anything to go by, this album would be released and go straight to number one. Okay, maybe I was getting ahead of myself, but I couldn't help but think what our lives would be like if that really did happen.
"Come around on Saturday if you like. We're going to practice all of the songs we've come up with. It'll be a long day, but we'd all like you to be there," he said kindly.
I told him I would definitely be there.
"Do I look okay?" I asked Quinn as we stepped out of the taxi. We were going to our first music industry party, and I had to admit I was excited. I didn't know what to expect from it. The party was being held at Adam's house celebrating the band getting signed. There was going to be a lot of people from the music industry there so the band were really nervous about meeting all these new people that they had to make good impressions on.
"Beautiful, as always," Quinn said kissing my forehead, and taking my hand as we stood at the door with Blake, Aaron, Connor and Kyle.
"Hey guys! Come on in!" Adam, said as he opened the door. "I take it you're Kate?"
I nodded, and shook his hand.
"Nice to meet you, I've heard a lot about you. Well done for sticking with this lot through everything," he winked.
We followed him through the entrance hall and into the living room, it was huge. Ijust kept looking around the room in awe. The walls were white with modern art all over them, and furniture to match it. I'd only dreamt of going to houses as stunning as this, it had to be worth a fortune.
"This place is amazing," I whispered to Quinn.
"I know, we'll be living somewhere like this one day, baby," he whispered back.
Over the last few days Quinn had been really optimistic about his future, talking about all the things we could have when he was rich and famous. I guessed now that things were happening he knew he could afford to be more positive, it didn't look like much could go wrong now. We'd been through the worst of it and now we had come out the other side, and we couldn't have been happier. Ibelieved everything he said about our future, because now, being in this house with all these people I felt like it really could happen. And I couldn't wait for it.
"Here, you guys grab a drink," Adam said opening a fridge full of alcohol.
We all took one and Adam led us outside. The sun had set and the warm temperature had gone with it, there were several gas fires placed around the enormous courtyard so people could sit outside and still enjoy their night. We sat ourselves down on the beautiful exterior furniture. For a couple of hours I just sat with the band. Heaps of people came up to congratulate them on the signing and introduce themselves. Every now and again I would say something to add to the conversation, but I preferred to just listen. I never really was the type to crave on being the centre of attention. So it was nice just to sit there, and meet new people who held the same interests as us. I hadn't seen any famous people. I assumed most of the people here worked for record labels, or music management. The guys and I had decided not to have much to drink at this party, because we had to make the best impressions we could, so we were still on our first drink when I noticed alot of people had gathered outside.
I looked inside to see that the party certainly had grown, the inside of the house was full of people and I could hear loud music blearing through the open windows. I noticed that at least twenty people had moved chairs closer to the big glass table that we were sitting near. I didn't really take any notice of it, I guessed they were bringing some food out or something. An older man came and sat down next to us. He introduced himself to Quinn and they chatted away for a little while.
I watched as the man picked up the bag next to him and set up a small piece of tinfoil on the table in front of him. He put a dark substance on the foil, occasionally glancing over his shoulder. He got a small bundle of straws out of his jacket and turned to Quinn.
"Tried this before?" he asked calmly.
Quinn, who was smoking a cigarette and watching the man, just shook his head. I didn't know exactly what it was, but I suddenly felt very uncomfortable knowing that people were going to be taking drugs in front of it and I assumed they were going to offer it to us. I looked over at Aaron, who had also realized what was going on. Aaron just looked at me and shrugged, he didn't seem to be as bothered by it like I was. I couldn't just get up and leave, although I was sure Quinn didn't want to be doing this either. Quinn had promised me that he would never take any drugs, and I took comfort in that at the time.
"Uh, your little lady might want to leave," the man said to Quinn, nodding in my direction after seeing the expression on my face.
"I'm a big girl," I bit back before Quinn had the chance to answer, and then I whispered to Quinn, "What is it?"
He just shook his head and stubbed out his cigarette. I watched as the man put one of the straws in his mouth and ignited the lighter underneath the tinfoil, smoke rose and the man inhaled it. He then looked over at Quinn and handed him one of the straws.
"There you go," he said and sat back down.
I felt certain that Quinn would politely decline it, but to my horror he took it and moved closer to the table. I didn't know what to do, I felt so let down by him. I got up from my seat and walked towards the house, not looking back. I didn't want to see him doing it.
"She didn't look like she wanted any," I heard the man snicker.
I set off to find a bathroom, I needed to go somewhere and get my thoughts straight I couldn't believe what I had just seen. I bumped into Adam on my way.
"Hey, how's it going outside?" he asked me cheerfully.
I wondered if he knew what they were doing out there. I didn't bring it up just in case.
"It's great," I lied, "I was just wondering where your bathroom is?" my voice sounded distant, but thankfully he didn't seem to pick up on it.
"Follow me," he said and showed me to the bathroom.
I thanked him and went in, locking the door behind me. I leaned over the sink and tried to go over in my head what had just happened. I was so sure that Quinn wouldn't have taken the offer. But he had. What was he thinking? I understood that he just wanted to be liked in the industry and get to know as many people as he could. The people you knew was a huge thing in the music industry, but that didn't mean he needed to take drugs just to fit in. I assumed that's why he had done it. It was the only reasonable explanation Icould think of. I had only just come to terms with the smoking surely he wouldn't go any further. I hadn't been happy at the time I had found out about the marijuana, but this was just taking it too far. I remembered the conversation I'd had with him just over a month ago. "I'm not stupid. I won't. Believe me." He had said when I realized the increasing number of cigarettes he'd started to take. I had believed him. I had to convince myself now that this was just a one off, he was doing it just this once, and he wouldn't do it again. He hadn't been expecting the offer. I didn't know a lot about drugs, and for all I knew this may not have been a serious drug, not a dangerous drug. Was there even such a thing as a drug that wasn't dangerous? I didn't know but I needed a way to convince myself that it was all going to be fine so I told myself this over and over again hoping to get it into my head.
In the end I calmed myself down. I had been in there for nearly twenty minutes. I walked out of the bathroom and decided to call a taxi. If no one else wanted to leave, that was fine, but I wasn't going to hang around. Adam was talking to someone outside, and I noticed the table was now clear. I wondered if they had hidden it from him, not wanting him to know, or if he'd had some too. I looked at Blake, Kyle, Aaron and Connor and wondered if they had taken some. I couldn't notice anything different about them in the dim lighting, not that I knew what I should be looking for. I stood behind Quinn who was still talking to the man and tapped him on the shoulder, but he didn't turn around so I sat down beside him.
"I've called a taxi. Are you coming?" I asked, hoping he'd agree to come home.
"Yeah, I'm pretty tired," he said with a sigh.
He stood up and we went to say goodbye to Adam. The other guys also got up and we walked down the drive and got into the taxi which was already waiting. We were all going back to Blake's house. I'd already told my parents where I was staying. I had learnt that lesson from the last time.
"Man I'm tired," Quinn said, putting his arm around me and leaning his chin on the top of my head.
I didn't say anything, even though I tried not to show it I was upset by his decision tonight.
- - -
It didn't take long to get back to Blake's house.
"I'm going straight to bed," Quinn said. His skin was pale and he could barely keep his eyes open, "When are you coming to bed?"
"I'll be in soon, I've just got to do something first," I said to him and followed the other guys into the living room. I sat down and looked round at them, none of them seemed to be effected like Quinn had been.
"Did you guys take that stuff?" I asked, hoping that they'd kept their sense and hadn't.
"No, after you left Quinn took some and then a couple of others had it. This guy was about to pass it to me, but the man who had got it out said we had to hide it because Adam was coming, and he doesn't like drugs being taken at his house or something," Aaron explained.
So that answered my question about Adam, "Do you know what it was?"
"I think I heard someone say it was heroin, didn't they?" Kyle said, asking Connor who was next to him.
I frowned, I didn't know anything about drugs, but Ithought that heroin was a pretty heavy drug.
"Yeah, that's what someone told me," Connor confirmed.
"Do you guys know anything about it?" I asked them, worrying about Quinn.
"No...but Kate, don't worry, he'll be fine. We'll see how he is in the morning," Blake tried to assure me.
I nodded, but I wasn't happy with this at all. And how could I not worry? To me, this sounded pretty serious.
"What happened after he took it?" I asked.
Part of me wished I had stayed but in the end I knew I had made the right decision to leave while it had been going on.
"I didn't really notice anything to be honest. He just seemed normal, by the time you came out he was quite tired and at one stage I thought he was going to fall asleep, but he seemed to carry on as he was before," Aaron said to me, trying to remember.
That gave me a little bit of hope. Maybe he hadn't taken enough so it hadn't really affected him. I hoped that was the case.
"Interesting, thanks guys. I'll have a talk to him about it tomorrow. You guys have a pretty big week next week, writing songs?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood before I went off to bed.
"Yeah, it's all go next week," Aaron said, obviously looking forward to it.
I said goodnight to them and went to the spare bedroom where Quinn was already fast asleep. I hopped into bed beside him and tried to gather my thoughts. It was not good, not good at all. Heroin. It was even worse than I had thought. I couldn't do anything about it now though. I just had to hope that when I woke the next morning Quinn would regret taking it, and promise me he wouldn't take it again. I'm sure he would.
- - -
"We need to talk about last night," I confronted Quinn the following afternoon.
I was at the kitchen table and Quinn was leaning over the sink. He didn't look well but I couldn't help think, Well it's your own fault. He'd thrown up once that morning already, and as we'd only had one drink I knew it wasn't because of alcohol.
"What about it?" he asked not looking up from the sink.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about! Taking heroin ring any bells?" I said, my voice rising slightly.
It made me laugh that he even tried to pretend it didn't happen. I wasn't letting him get away with it, I couldn't ignore it. I wanted him to explain to me what the hell he had been thinking.
"Oh, that," he mumbled, still not looking at me.
"Yes, that. Did you know what it was when you were taking it?" I asked, and then added, "Tell me the truth."
"Yeah, I knew," he confessed.
I hadn't expected him to say that, I thought he had just taken it, not knowing what it was, "Why didn't you tell me when I asked at the time?"
"I didn't want you to make a scene."
"I wouldn't have. Why did you take it anyway?" I asked him, trying my hardest to understand it from his point of view.
I wouldn't have made a scene, I didn't need that as my first impression for all of those people. I probably would have tried to convince him not to take it, which I should have done in the first place. But instead, like usual, I just stood by and let him do it. That was going to have to stop soon.
"Just to try, and I couldn't really say no could I? That guy is really well-known in the industry, he's going to produce our album," he said, grabbing a glass from the cupboard above his head and filling it with water.
"Of course you could have said no. Quinn, I remember you promising me you'd never take drugs," I said, my voice sounding defeated.
"I wasn't looking forward to the guys spending time with that man, he was bound to offer it to them again, especially now Quinn had taken it with him once before.
"I know," he said, taking a sip of water, "I promise you I won't do it again."
"How do I know you'll keep your promise this time?" I asked, even though I knew he was telling the truth this time, I could hear it in his voice.
"Because hon, I mean it. I won't do it again," he looked me in the eyes as he said this, and whispered, "believe me, please."
"Okay,"I whispered back after a short pause, I couldn't speak for the look on his face. He truly was sorry and I could see that now. I was relieved we had come to an agreement without it, and we hadn't even had an argument.
"I'm going outside for a smoke," Quinn said and walked past me.
I noticed how pale he looked. I got up to follow him outside when Blake came down the hall and asked me to talk to him for a second.
"Did you talk to him about it?"
"Yeah, he told me he won't do it again, and that he's sorry."
"Oh that's good," Blake said, also relieved.
I walked outside with Blake and sat down with the rest of the guys while they made plans for the week. They were all staying on at school so they arranged their plans for after school hours to get working on their song writing.
"Right, I'll be back soon. I'm out of smokes so I'm meeting Sam at the shop down the road," Quinn said, checking a text on his phone and standing up.
Once I heard the click of the front door shutting I told the guys all about our conversation this morning. I explained there was absolutely nothing to worry about, that he had regretted taking it last night and he seemed to be perfectly fine today. Well he was a little sick, but it just seemed like a hangover, nothing major. I asked Aaron why he was going to take it. He would have, if Adam hadn't gone outside.
"I'm not sure. I guess I just wanted to try it. I didn't know it was heroin though. I don't know what I thought it was. I didn't feel like I could have said no either," he admitted.
I told them that's what Quinn had said and then asked the others, "Would you guys have taken it, if Adam hadn't walked out there?"
They all agreed that they would have. I was appalled. That was shocking, not one of them would have said no, and all for the same reason. In the end I made them promise me they wouldn't take any drugs, no matter what they were or who was giving them out. In the end they all promised me, and I felt much better again. As long as they kept their promises, and I knew I could trust them, we wouldn't have to worry about it again. We'd had our experience with drug already, and I was glad that we had got it out of the way without it turning into anything serious.
- - -
"What'd your dad say when you told him you got signed?" I asked Quinn a couple of days later.
They had been so busy writing songs because they only had a few weeks to complete ten songs for their album, they were being pushed to get the album out. One of the rules from the record company had been that they could only have ten songs. That was good in a way for the band since they had such a limited time to get it released. Already they had come up with seven songs that they really liked. Quinn had come over to my house after writing at Blake's all afternoon.
"Oh, the usual, Dad didn't think it was anything special. In fact it just turned into another argument. I can't live there anymore Kate, he's such an asshole,"Quinn said, angrily, "I'm going to look for a flat, I think."
"You might be able to stay here," I suggested. Remembering my mom had told me that if he had nowhere else to go he could live with us. It was a better idea than living in some dodgy flat on the bad side of town. I didn't want him living anywhere like that.
"Thanks. But I think Aaron is looking at flatting too, so I'll have a talk to him first," he said, it seemed he'd been thinking about this for a while now.
"How are you going to afford rent?" I asked. It wasn't like he was getting paid yet.
"I'll be raking in the money soon," he laughed, but I could tell that was a worry on his mind too.
"Well I'm sure you'll sort it out," I said trying to comfort him. Everything else had been sorting itself out recently, so why should it stop there.
- - -
"What are you doing here?" I asked Quinn as he climbed through my window a couple of days later in the middle of the night.
"He fucking kicked me out," he said angrily.
"Why? What happened?" I asked slouching back on my bed.
These midnight wake-up calls were becoming more and more frequent and I was tired. The work load at school was tougher than ever before with only a few more months to go.
"Did you get the letter from school today about your grades?" he asked.
"Yes,"I said, unsure why he was changing the subject.
I had gotten the letter about my grades. It was a mixture of A's and B's, but I was happy with that and so were my parents.
"Yeah well, mine weren't so good. Apparently C's aren't acceptable to my father," he said.
I knew Quinn's grades would start dropping now that he had to focus so much on writing and the band. I also could imagine how his father had reacted, even though he wasn't failing, yet.
"I had just told him about getting signed and getting onto making our album and when he saw the letter he started yelling at me. Telling me I had let the whole family name down. He said that my brothers had done so much to be proud of, and I had done nothing. He said I was going to become a drop out musician not being able to afford my next meal."
Quinn sat down on the floor and looked up at me. He was always good at hiding his emotions, but they showed tonight.
"You know that's not true," I told him, "look at what you've done? You worked really hard with your band, and now you're living the start of your dream. Quinn, you're going to release an album!" I said. Surely he had to see this side of it.
"I know that, but why can't he see it like that? It's like everything I do is set up for failure in his eyes," he said and leaned back against my bookshelf, crossing his arms.
"Look, I told you that you can stay here if you need to. Mom said she's okay with it,"I told him, hoping my parents would let him.
"Thanks, I'm actually going to stay at Blake's though. Until Aaron gets his act together and we can get a flat. Can I stay here tonight though?" he asked.
"Of course," I smiled.
Staying at Blake's was a better idea than staying here. One reason was my parents and the other was because they would be able to get a lot more song writing done.
Quinn refused to speak to his father after that. Every time he needed something from the house he would specifically wait until he knew no one was home. No matter what I said, I couldn't persuade him to talk to him. So in the end I gave up, there was nothing else for me to do, he'd made up his mind. All of the guys were considering flatting together now, and they were going to start looking for a place soon. They hoped to find somewhere within the next few weeks. It was a good idea for them to all flat together. It would make the rent more bearable for all of them. Although I knew Quinn was going to have trouble paying for it without the allowance from his father. The smokes would also be hard to get without the money. The next few weeks could be very difficult.
- - -
"I've just got to go and get some smokes," Quinn said when I was around at Blake's house after school only a couple of days after he had been kicked out. He still had a little bit of money left, but it was quickly running out. Thankfully, Blake got enough allowance for the both of them and he would give Quinn money for anything he needed.
"He's been smoking even more lately, that's the second pack in the last three days,"Blake noted as Quinn left.
That was excessive, even for Quinn. But I didn't think anything of it, if he wanted to spend the little money he had on smokes, then it was his choice.
"I don't even want to think about it," I said, and changed the subject, "how is the songwriting going?"
I hadn't gotten to see a lot of the guys lately as they had used every minute of their spare time coming up with new material for their album.
"Well, we're struggling a little bit," Blake admitted, "We've got the ten songs but Adam says only half of them are actually album ready right now. He's getting someone to meet with us on Friday, to help us out a bit. We've only got one more week to have all ten songs complete and ready for the album. We're all stressing out about it."
"Well good luck meeting with them," I said.
This had to work out for them. I had a good feeling about it, and if most of my past experiences with good feelings were anything to go by, this album would be released and go straight to number one. Okay, maybe I was getting ahead of myself, but I couldn't help but think what our lives would be like if that really did happen.
"Come around on Saturday if you like. We're going to practice all of the songs we've come up with. It'll be a long day, but we'd all like you to be there," he said kindly.
I told him I would definitely be there.
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