FicWad

Gerard stared wide-eyed at the girl in front of him. It amazed him that even now, after all these years, she managed to make his heart beat faster. Her golden brown hair still the same gorgeous tone it used to be and her slim, curvy figure still catching his eye.

"Gerard?"

He quickly shook his head clean and forced a smile onto his lips as he stepped closer to her, "Rachel? How have you been?"

"Fine," Rachel smiled, "How have you been? I haven't seen you in so long. Feels like centuries."

Gerard nodded his head as he let words flood his mind. He wanted to ask her so many questions. He wanted to know why she just up and left him eight years ago. He wanted to know if it was for someone else but most of all... he wanted to know if she still loved him.

"I've been good," Gerard sighed, "Keeping myself busy with the band and my comic book."

Rachel smiled and gently took his hand as she led him to a near by table, "How is that going by the way? I've heard such good reviews about your comic but nothing about the band in a while."

"We're still working on stuff," Gerard hesitated, "But I think we're just going to wait a while until... some things get done."

Rachel quirked an eyebrow at his hesitation but didn't say anything and continued to make small talk. She didn't even mention the shiny new ring on his finger, although the secret was killing her. Soon enough, she broke down and began to question him on the ring. The ring that seperates her from being able to hold him.

"So," Rachel began, "Who's the girl?"

This caught Gerard off guard so he didn't quite swallow his coffee and began to choke on it. Rachel jumped up and began to rub his back until he was able to breathe again. After he caught his breath, he gazed up at Rachel and caught her eye, capturing her in a staring contest before he looked away and did something he'd regret later.

"Her name is Lindsey," Gerard smiled faintly, "She's wonderful to me. Doesn't leave me alone when I need her the most."

Gerard knew it was a cheap shot but he couldn't help it. He still had a lot of bottled up anger and depression from what she did to him. He loved her so damn much and she just walked out on him, the day he was going to propose.
Rachel lowered her head to hide the ashamed look plastered over her face and bit her lip to keep from crying. She didn't want to leave him. It's not like she had a choice. If she was able to, she would've stayed with him all night and all the nights after that. But she couldn't.

"I'm sorry, Gee."

Gerard's ears pricked at the sound of his old pet name and imeadiately his eyes softened as he looked over to the girl sulking across the table. He wanted to tell her it was all going to be okay and they could be together again but he knew it was a lie. Nothing will ever be the same.

"I know," Gerard nodded, "I just have one question."

Rachel met his gaze and shrugged, encouraging him to be bold, already knowing what the question was.

"Why? Why did you leave me?"

"You don't understand, Gerard, I didn't have a-"

"No," Gerard fumed, "Don't fucking lie to me! I loved you so fucking much and you just abandoned me!"

Rachel sat quietly while Gerard vented out his anger and tried her best to calm him down but failed.

Gerard rose from his seat and marched over to stand in front of her, "Do you know what you did to me? Do you know what I went through?! How many nights I layed awake waiting for you to come home?! I had nothing without you!"

"I'm sorry, Gerard-"

"No," Gerard felt tears brim his eyes and tried his best to blink them away, "I loved you so fucking much... did you even love me at all?"

That question stung Rachel's ears. How could he ask her that? He was her everything. He was her sunshine, her oxygen... her vicodin.

Rachel met his stare and sighed, lowering her voice, "Yes-"

"Then why did you do that to me?!" Gerard let a tear escape when Rachel couldn't answer, "I love you so fucking much."

Rachel felt a surge of electricity run through her veins when he said that to her. She wasn't sure if he meant to say that or if she dreamed it but she was going to take advantage of the situation.

"I love you too, Gee."

Gerard couldn't help but smile as Rachel wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer to her. In an instant, all the old feelings came rushing back to him as he lowered his head and connected his lips with hers.
Being with Rachel just felt right even after the horrible thing she did to him. When he saw her smile, he knew he forgave her. But mid-kiss, something inside Gerard's head popped.

"Wait," Gerard pulled away, "I can't do this."

Rachel furrowed her brows and began to object when Gerard cut her off.

"I'm engaged, Rachel," Gerard sighed, "I love Lindsey and in four months, she'll be my wife. I can't do this to her. I don't want her to go through what I did."

"But do you love her more than me?"

Gerard shook his head and pulled her into him, "Not even close."

Rachel bit her lip as Gerard gathered his things and began to walk down the street, not even noticing the tiny piece of paper laying on the table with, what looked like, a cell phone number on it.

Gerard made his way safely back to his house to find Lyn-Z already awake and sitting at the table. She flashed him a smile and made her way over to him.

"Good morning, babe," Lyn-Z smiled, "Love you."

Gerard forced a smile and kissed her forhead, "I love you, too, hon."

For some reason, after Gerard said those three words, he felt dirty. Like he betrayed someone and he knew why. When he said that to Lyn-Z, he knew he should be saying it to someone else. He just hoped she'd call.